Transcripts/The Ticket Master

Spike: No. Nope. No--

Applejack: Thank you kindly, Twilight, for helping me out. I bet Big Macintosh I could get all these Golden Delicious in the barn by lunchtime. If I win, he's gonna walk down Stirrup street in one of granny's girdles. [chuckles]

Twilight Sparkle: No problem at all, Applejack. I'm glad the goal is lunchtime. All this hard work is making me hungry.

Spike: I know, right?

Twilight Sparkle: Puh-leez, Spike, you've been lounging on my back all morning while we worked.

Spike: Exactly. You two are taking so long, I missed snacktime.

Twilight Sparkle: [laughs nervously] I guess we better get some food.

Spike: Nope. Worm. A-ha!

Twilight Sparkle: Oh Spike, that looks delicious. Spike.

Spike: What? [burp]

Twilight Sparkle: It's a letter from Princess Celestia.

Spike: [clears throat] Hear ye, hear ye, Her Grand Royal Highness Princess Celestia of Equestria, is pleased to announce The Grand Galloping Gala to be held in the magnificent capital city of Canterlot, on the 21st day of, eh, yadda yadda yadda, cordially extends an invitation to Twilight Sparkle plus one guest.

[Applejack and Twilight Sparkle: [gasp] The Grand Galloping Gala!]

[ theme song ]

[Applejack and Twilight Sparkle: The Grand Galloping Gala!]

Applejack: Woo-hoo!

Spike: [burp] Look, two tickets.

Twilight Sparkle: Wow, great. I've never been to the gala. Have you, Spike?

Spike: No, and I plan to keep it that way. I don't want any of that girly frilly froo-froo nonsense.

Twilight Sparkle: Aw, come on Spike. A dance would be nice.

Applejack: Nice? It's a hiccup more than just nice. I'd love to go. Land sakes, if I had an apple stand set up, ponies would be chewin' our tasty biddles till the cows came home. Do you have any idea how much business I could drum up for Sweet Apple Acres? Why, with all that money, we could do a heap of fixin' up 'round here. We could replace that saggy old roof, and Big Macintosh could replace that saggy old plough, and Granny Smith could replace that saggy old hip. Why, I'd give my left nut {ahem, uh, "hind leg"} to go to that gala.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh, well in that case, would you like to--

Rainbow Dash: Whoa! Ugh. Are we talking about The Grand Galloping Gala?

Applejack: Rainbow Dash, you told me you were too busy to help me harvest apples. What were you busy doing, spyin'?

Rainbow Dash: No, I was busy nappin', and I just happened to hear that you have an extra ticket.

Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, but--

Rainbow Dash: YES! This is so awesome. The Wonderbolts perform at The Grand Galloping Gala every year. I can see it now. Everyone would be watching the sky. Their eyes riveted on The Wonderbolts, but then in would fly Rainbow Dash.

[audience gasps]

Rainbow Dash: I would draw their attention with my Super Speed Strut.

[audience cheers]

Rainbow Dash: Then I would mesmerize them with my Fantastic Filly Flash. And for my grand finale, The Buccaneer Blaze. The ponies would go wild.

[ponies gone wild]

Rainbow Dash: The Wonderbolts would insist that my signature moves be incorporated into their routine, and then welcome me as their new member. Don't you see, Twilight? This could be my one chance to show 'em my stuff. You gotta take me! [grunt]

Applejack: Hold on just one pony pickin' minute here, [spit] I asked for that ticket first.

Rainbow Dash: So? That doesn't mean you own it.

Applejack: Oh yeah? Well I challenge you to a hoof-wrasslin'. Winner gets the ticket. [groan]

Rainbow Dash: [groan]

Twilight Sparkle: Girls, these are my tickets, I'll decide who gets it, thank you very much. Whoever has the best reason to go should get the ticket, don't you think?

Applejack: Drummin' up business for the farm.

Rainbow Dash: A chance to audition for The Wonderbolts.

Applejack: Money t' fix granny's hip.

Rainbow Dash: Living the dream.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh my, those are all pretty good reasons, aren't they. [chuckles] listen to that, I, I'm starving. I don't know about you, but I can't make important decisions on an empty stomach, so I'll think about it over lunch and get back to you two, okay?

[Applejack and Rainbow Dash in unison: Okay.]

Applejack: [groan]

Rainbow Dash: [groan]

Spike: So who you gonna give the ticket to, Twilight?

Twilight Sparkle: I don't know Spike, but I really can't think straight when I'm hungry, so where should we--

Pinkie Pie: Gah! Bats! Bats on my face! Help! Wait, these aren't--tickets to The Grand Galloping Gala?

[ The Grand Galloping Gala song ]

Pinkie Pie: Oh thank you Twilight, it's the most wonderful-est gift ever.

Twilight Sparkle: Um, actually--

Rarity: [gasp] Are these what I think they are?

Twilight Sparkle: Uh--

Pinkie Pie: Yes, yes, yes! Twilight's taking me to The Grand Galloping Gala in Canterlot.

Rarity: The gala? I design ensembles for the gala every year, but I've never had the opportunity to attend. Oh, the society, the culture, the glamor, it's where I truly belong. It's where I'm destined to meet him.

Pinkie Pie: Him. Who?

Rarity: Him. I would stroll through the gala, everyone would wonder, "who is that mysterious mare", they would never guess that I was just a simple pony from little old Ponyville. Why, I would cause such a sensation that I would be invited for an audience with Princess Celestia herself, and the princess would be so taken with my style and elegance that she would introduce me to him, her nephew, the most handsome eligible unicorn stallion in Canterlot. Our eyes would meet, our hearts would melt, our courtship would be magnificent, he would ask for my hoof in marriage, and of course I would say YES. We would have a royal wedding, befitting a princess, which is [giggles] what I would become upon marrying him, the stallion of my dreams.

Rarity: Twilight, I simply cannot believe you would invite Pinkie Pie so she could, party, and prevent me from meeting my true love. How could you? Hm.

Spike: Hey!

Fluttershy: [gasp] Angel, these are perfect.

Twilight Sparkle: Uh, listen guys, I haven't decided who to give the extra ticket to.

[Rarity and Pinkie Pie in unison: You haven't?]

Fluttershy: Um, excuse me, Twilight, I would just like to ask, um, if it would be alright, if you haven't given it to someone else--

Rarity: You? You want to go to the gala?

Fluttershy: Oh, no. I mean, yes, or, actually, kinda. You see, it's not so much The Grand Galloping Gala as it is the wondrous private gated garden that surrounds the dance. The flowers are said to be the most beautiful and fragrant in all of Equestria. For the night of the gala, and that night alone, would they all be in bloom... and that's just the flora! Don't get me started on the fauna. There's loons and toucans and bitterns, oh my. Hummingbirds that can really hum, and buzzards that can really buzz, and blue jays, and red jays, and green jays, pink jays and pink flamingos.

Twilight Sparkle: Gee, Fluttershy, it sounds... beautiful.

Rainbow Dash: Wait just a minute.

RS: Rainbow Dash, were you following me?

Rainbow Dash: No. I mean, yes. I mean, maybe. Look, it doesn't matter. I couldn't risk a goody-four-shoes like you giving that ticket away to just anybody.

Applejack: Wait just another minute.

Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, were you following me too?

Applejack: No. I was following this one to make sure she didn't try any funny business. Still trying to take mah ticket.

Rainbow Dash: Your ticket?

Pinkie Pie: But Twilight's taking me.

[ponies argue]

[ponies argue]

Twilight Sparkle: QUIET!

Pinkie Pie: And then I said, "oatmeal, are you craz--" oh.

Twilight Sparkle: Girls, there's no use in arguing.

Rarity: But Twiligt--

Twilight Sparkle: Eh--! This is my decision, and I'm gonna make it on my own, and I certainly can't think straight with all this noise, [stomach grumbles] not to mention hunger. Now go on, shoo.

[ponies grumble]

Twilight Sparkle: And don't worry, I'll figure this out... somehow.

Twilight Sparkle: Ah, Spike, what am I gonna do? All five of my best friends have really good reasons to go to the gala. Applejack, or Rainbow Dash? Pinkie Pie or Fluttershy or Rarity, oh who should go with me?

Waiter: Have you made your decision?

Spike: Twilight, he just wants to take your order.

Twilight Sparkle: I would love a daffodil and daisy sandwich.

Spike: Do you have any rubies? No? Okay. I'll have the hay fries, extra crispy.

Twilight Sparkle: What do you think, Spike?

Spike: I think we have to try another restaurant. I mean, I like grass just fine, but would it hurt anybody to offer some gemstones?

Twilight Sparkle: I mean about the gala and the ticket and who I should take.

Spike: Oh. You're still on that?

Twilight Sparkle: Spike, listen. How do I choose? And when I do choose, would the other four be mad at me? I mean, I could give up my ticket and give away two, but that would still leave three disappointed ponies. What if I--

Waiter: Ah, your food.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh thank you. This looks so good. I'm sure everything will be much clearer once I eat.

Waiter: Em, madam? Are you going to eat your food in ze rain?

Twilight Sparkle: It's not raining. What's going on?

Rainbow Dash: Hi there best friend forever I've ever ever had. Enjoying the sunny weather?

Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash, what are you doing?

Rainbow Dash: Whadda o you mean? I just saw the smartest most generous pony about to get rained on, so I thought I'd kick a hole in the clouds to keep her dry so she could dine at peace, that's all.

Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow, you're not trying to get extra consideration for the extra ticket by doing extra special favors, are you?

Rainbow Dash: Me? No no no, of course not.

Twilight Sparkle: Uh-huh.

Rainbow Dash: Seriously, I'd do it for any pony. [gulp] Heh heh, heh.

Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow, I am not comfortable accepting unwanted favors, so I'd appreciate it if you close up that rain cloud right now.

Rainbow Dash: Ugh, fine.

Twilight Sparkle: That's better. [grumbles]

Rarity: Twilight, it's raining.

Twilight Sparkle: No, really.

Rarity: Come with me before you catch a cold.

Twilight Sparkle: Heh heh, oops, sorry.

Rarity: Oh no, it's quite alright, after all, we are... the best of friends, are we not, and you know what the best of friends do.

Twilight Sparkle: Uh...

Rarity: Makeover!

Spike: Ugh!

Twilight Sparkle: Rarity, ow, this really isn't fixing it, I mean thank you but, ooh, it's too tight.

Rarity: There. Oh, you're simply darling.

Twilight Sparkle: Uh, yeah, it is kinda pretty, isn't it.

Rarity: And you. Oh Spike, I have a dandy little outfit for the dashing gent.

Spike: D-ah, oh, hey, wow, watch it, whoa!

Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Spike.

Rarity: Now you just need a hat.

Spike: Ugh, I told you, I don't want any part of this girly gala gunk, see you back at the library.

Rarity: [laughs] oh, who needs him anyway. This is all about you, and how fabulous you'll look at The Grand Galloping Gala.

Twilight Sparkle: Wait, The Grand--

Rarity: [gasp] and oh, my goodness, what a coincidence. I happen to have an ensemble of my own that matches yours to a tee. We would be the belles of the ball, you and I. Everyone would be clamoring for our attention. All eyes would be on us, and then everyone would finally know, the most beautiful, most talented, most sophisticated pony in all of Equestria is Rarity the unicorn. Ah, [nervous laughter] and Twilight Sparkle, of course.

Twilight Sparkle: I see what's going on. You're just buttering me up so I give you the extra ticket. Well it's not gonna work, you're going to have to wait for my decision just like everyone else. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've been trying all day just to get some lunch.

Applejack: Did somepony say lunch?

Twilight Sparkle: You've got to be kidding me.

Applejack: I got apple pie, apple fritters, apple tarts, apple dumplings, apple crisps, apple crumbles, and apple Brown Betty. Uh, the dessert, not my auntie. What do you say there, best friend?

Twilight Sparkle: [stomach grumbles]

Applejack: Is that a yes?

Twilight Sparkle: No. No. I don't know who I'm giving the ticket to, and all these favors aren't making it any easier to decide. In fact, I'm less sure now than I was this morning.

Applejack: So, that's a maybe?

Twilight Sparkle: Ugh, I never thought being showered with favors would be so aggravating.

Fluttershy: [humming]

Twilight Sparkle: [gasp] Fluttershy, not you too.

Fluttershy: Oh, well, hello Twilight. I hope you don't mind, we're all doing a little spring cleaning for you.

Twilight Sparkle: It's summer.

Fluttershy: Oh, well, better late than never, right? It was Angel's idea.

Twilight Sparkle: You're not doing this for the ticket, are you?

Fluttershy: Oh no, I'm doing this because you're my very best friend. Right Angel? Oh, yes, we are just doing this for the ticket.

Twilight Sparkle: No no no! Well, this is all very nice of you and Angel, but I'm not accepting any extra favors until I've made my final decision, so I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

[ponies: SURPRISE!]

[ Pinkie's song for Twilight ]

Twilight Sparkle: PINKIE!

Pinkie Pie: Yes, Twilight?

Twilight Sparkle: At least the other ponies tried to be subtle about the ticket.

Purple pony: Wait, what ticket? What gala?

Pinkie Pie: Oh, you didn't know? Twilight has an extra ticket to The Grand Galloping Gala.

[Ponies, in unison: The Grand Galloping Gala?]

[Offscreen: Have I ever told you how much I love your mane?]

[Offscreen: I'll wash your dishes.]

Pink pony: Would you like any help with your gardening?

Azure pony: I have a cartload of extra carrots.

[ponies offer favors]

Spike: What are we gonna do?

Twilight Sparkle: We're... gona... run!

[ponies offer favors]

[Unidentified ponies: Where is she? / Where did she go? / She's disappeared.]

Spike: Ugh, warn me next time you're gonna do that.

Twilight Sparkle: I didn't even know it was gonna happen. Now quick, lock the doors. Phew. Yaaaargh! I can't decide, I just can't decide. It's important to all of you and I just can't stand to disappoint any of you, and giving me gifts and doing me favors won't make any difference because you're all my friends and I wanna make you all happy and I can't, I just can't.

Applejack: Twilight sugar, I didn't mean to put so much pressure on you, and if it helps, I don't want the ticket anymore, you can give it to somepony else. I won't feel bad, I promise.

Fluttershy: Me too. I feel just awful that I made you feel so awful.

Pinkie Pie: And me too. It's no fun upsetting your friends.

Rarity: Twilight, it was unfair of me to try to force you as I did.

Rainbow Dash: Yes! That means the ticket is mine. Ha ha, I got the ticket, I got the ticket-- you know, I haven't perfected my signature moves for The Wonderbolts anyway. I don't need that ticket either.

Applejack: We all got so gung-ho about going to the gala that we couldn't see how un-gung-ho we were making you.

[ponies in unison: We're sorry Twilight.]

Twilight Sparkle: Spike, take down a note. ''Dear Princess Celestia,

I've learned that one of the joys of friendship is sharing your blessings, but when there's not enough blessings to go around, having more than your friends can make you feel pretty awful, so though I appreciate the invitation, I will be returning both tickets to The Grand Galloping Gala.''

[ponies in unison: What?!]

Twilight Sparkle: If my friends can't all go, I don't wanna go either.

Applejack: Twilight, you don't have to do that.

Twilight Sparkle: Nope. I've made up my mind. Spike, you can send the letter now.

Spike: [gasp]

Fluttershy: Now you won't get to go to the gala either.

Twilight Sparkle: It's okay girls. I couldn't possibly enjoy myself without my best friends there with me, so I rather not go at all.

Spike: Hgh... hgh... urk... urk...

Applejack: Well wallop my withers, Spike. Isn't that just like a boy. Can't handle the least bit of sentiment.

Spike: [burp]

Applejack: Whoa nelly!

Twilight Sparkle: A letter from the princess? That was fast.

Spike: ''My faithful student Twilight,

Why didn't you just say so in the first place?'' Six tickets to The Grand Galloping Gala.

[ponies gasp]

Twilight Sparkle: Now we can all go.

[ponies cheer]

Twilight Sparkle: [laughs nervously]

Rarity: Allow us to treat you to dinner.

Rainbow Dash: What a great way to apologize.

Pinkie Pie: And to celebrate. Come on everyone, the cupcakes are on me.

Spike: How come I don't get a ticket to the gala? Hurk! [burp] And one for you, Spike. [giggles] I mean, gross, I have to go too? [giggles]

Applejack: [giggles]

[music]

[credits]