A Dog and Pony Show

A Dog and Pony Show is the nineteenth episode of My Little Pony Friendship is Magic, season one. In this episode, Rarity is searching for a new load of gems with Spike's assistance. However, when a group of creatures called the Diamond Dogs abduct Rarity, Spike and the other ponies head underground to rescue her.

Prologue
Inside the Carousel Boutique, as Rarity is putting the last gem onto a garment, she hears a customer walk into her shop. She casually greets the customer, only to find out in shock that it's "Pony of Pop" sensation, Sapphire Shores. Sapphire explains that she had heard of Rarity's fashion designs from a local magazine and came to browse the shop for designs for her upcoming tour, Ziegfilly Follies. Rarity happily shows Sapphire her latest finished project: a garment covered in multicolored gems. The bejeweled costume has a large heavy collar, flared wavy cuffs, and a golden belt. Sapphire takes an immediate liking to the bejeweled garment, saying that she will buy it and order five more, each one featuring a different jewel, requiring more gems than ever before. Having used her entire gem supply for just this one outfit and now needing five times that amount, Rarity faints and Sapphire exits the shop, commenting how she has that effect on ponies.

Searching for gems
Rarity asks Spike to assist her in finding a new load of gems outside Ponyville. In return, she promises him he can have a few as a snack. When Spike first uncovers some gems, what appears to be the scene's animatic is visible in the valley next to his head. He licks his lips and holds up the gems to his mouth, but Rarity reminds him they need to collect the gems for the outfits. Spike manages to curb his appetite and in the end Rarity rewards him with a blue gem. Rather than eating it right away, he decides to keep hold of it as a gift from his crush.

The Diamond Dogs
Hiding in the bushes is a trio of canines who introduce themselves as the Diamond Dogs. Though it is not mentioned in the episode, they take their name from David Bowie's famous concept album and its titular song, Diamond Dogs. They are in awe of the large haul of stones being carted along by the baby dragon, mistaking him as a gem tracker. They then hear Rarity's voice and discover that she is the one finding the gems. Ambushed by the mutts, Rarity panics, but Spike intercepts them so Rarity can escape. However, they shake him off and succeed in abducting Rarity before escaping into their hole in the ground.

Saving Rarity
"Yes, we hunt. We hunt for gems, but you are a better hunter. So now we hunt... for YOU!"

- Rover

Spike brings the other ponies after his rushed explanation to the spot of the incident only to see the entire site laden with holes. They encounter the dogs, but are outmaneuvered to exhaustion when the dogs refill the holes and then pop out of them to trip the ponies up. The scene then dissolves into an imaginary sequence where Rarity is calling for the ponies to save her, which is accompanied by the opening notes of Handel's Sarabande. Spike then uses his blue gem as bait to catch one of the dogs with a fishing rod, and the scene dissolves into a fantasy sequence where he imagines himself as a debonair knight rescuing Rarity. In the fantasy, the Diamond Dogs attack with the characteristic slow motion leap and 'bionic' sound effect from The Six Million Dollar Man. The fantasy concludes with him offering Rarity a kiss, but before they kiss, the fantasy abruptly ends and dissolves into him still holding the fishing rod and almost planting a kiss on Applejack. His fishing line is snagged and he and the ponies are dragged into a large set of tunnels. Alone at the moment, they theorize that the dogs may have taken Rarity to a spot with the most gems (even though the dogs don't know where they are), but there is no way to find her until Spike reminds Twilight Sparkle that Rarity showed her how to track gems herself. Using the spell, Twilight locates the tunnel with the most gems.

Dealing with the dogs
Within the central area underground, the Diamond Dogs demand Rarity find all the gems she can. She finds them some gems and then asks to be let out, but the dogs order her to dig for them. She does so, but very slowly, as she tells them she just got a pony pedicure and doesn't want to ruin it by digging. Frustrated at this pathetically slow pace, the leader calls on his comrades to do the digging. They decide to use her to haul carts of the dug-up gems instead. But Rarity starts complaining about everything and whining. The Diamond Dogs eventually beg her to keep quiet and tell her that they would do anything. The dogs treat Rarity like a princess while they dig and haul the jewels she tracked. Just then, one of the dogs realizes that they could actually endure her constant whining as long as she did as they told her. But Rarity breaks down in tears, after one of the dogs calls her a mule. The dogs try to cheer her up and apologize. It doesn't work, and she continues crying.

A distance away from the center, Spike and the ponies hear Rarity's cries and rush to help her. A group of guard dogs sees them as new "work horses" and ambushes them. Applejack tells her friends to buck them off rodeo-style and the guard dogs retreat. The rodeo music accompanying the scene was previously featured in Fall Weather Friends, while Applejack's phrase "Kick 'em up, kick 'em out. Buck 'em up, buck 'em down" is a reference to Rawhide, a song performed by Frankie Laine. After they get rid of the guards, Spike hops on Twilight and snaps off a lance-like stalactite, then announces "Hi-ho Twilight! Away!", a reference to The Lone Ranger. They all find Rarity after she's already cowed the Diamond Dogs into submission. In the end, the dogs offer to give away all of the gems they found, providing the ponies take Rarity back along with them.

Epilogue
On their way home, Rarity reveals that annoying her captors was all a ruse to keep them under control. Twilight learns that just because someone is ladylike doesn't mean they're helpless.

Quotes

 * Sapphire Shores: Well, as I'm sure you know, I'll be touring all of Equestria with my latest concert, Sapphire Shores Zigfilly Follies so I need to look seeeensational! OW!


 * Rover: We hunt for gems. But you are a better hunter. So now we hunt... for you!


 * Spike: Aaaah! Rarity... woods... jewels... dogs... hole... taken... SAVE HER!


 * Pinkie Pie: Holy moly! That's a lotta holeys!


 * Applejack: Now, I'm used to pickin' myself up and dustin' myself off, but Rarity won't even touch mud 'less it's imported.


 * Rarity: Oh, woe is me! What ever shall I do? Ah! Dirt, dirt! Get away, dirt! Oh! Make it stop, make it stop! Filthy, disgusting dirt. It stings, it burns. Help! Somepony save me, SAVE ME!


 * Spot: Get me the baubles!
 * Fido: Get me the beads!
 * Rover: Get me the trinkets!
 * Diamond Dogs: Where is the treasure?!
 * Rarity: [faints]


 * Princess Rarity: Oh, Spike! I knew you would save me!
 * Sir Spike: Nothing could stop me, my lady.
 * Princess Rarity: Oh, Spike. You are my hero. *smooch*
 * Sir Spike: Mmmmmm...
 * (Spike's fantasy ends and he's about to kiss Applejack).
 * Applejack: Ho there, lover boy.


 * Fido: What are you doing? We said dig!
 * Rarity: Forgive me, but prior to you so rudely dragging me into your dirt pit, I had a pony-pedi, and I am not about to chip a hoof because you dislike my style of digging.


 * Rarity: Good heavens, what is that smell?
 * Rover: Smeeeeeell?
 * Rarity: Ah, mystery solved. It's your breath.


 * Rover: Search, Pony!
 * Rarity: Well, since you insist... But I must say the working conditions in here are simply dreadful. Musty and damp, it's going to wreak havoc on my mane. And this air is stifling, suffocating. And when I try to take a deep breath, the stench of all you dogs makes me nauseated. You look and smell like if you haven't bathed in weeks. Have you never heard of soap? You could all do with a good round of soap and water. Water, water, I'm terribly thirsty. Could I please have some water?
 * Spot: Good gracious, I can't take this anymore. BE QUIET, PONY!


 * Rarity: I am not "whining". I am complaining. Do you want to hear "whining"? This is whining! Ooohhhh! This harness is too tight! It's going to chafe! Can't you loosen it?! OH! It hurts and it's so rusty! Why didn't you clean it first?! It's gonna leave a stain, and the wagon's getting heavy! Why do I have to pull it?!
 * Spot: AAH! Make it stop!
 * Rover: Stop whining!!!
 * Rarity: But I thought you wanted whining!


 * Applejack: Ho doggies! If you can take this bull by the horns, you better be ready for a ride! Come on, ponies. Kick 'em up, kick 'em out. Buck 'em up, buck 'em down.


 * Spike: I'm coming for you, my lady. Hi-ho, Twilight! Away!
 * Twilight Sparkle: And just what do you think you're doing?
 * Spike: Please, Twilight. Just give me this.
 * Twilight Sparkle: Eh... fine.