A Dog and Pony Show

"Yes, we hunt. We hunt for gems, but you are a better hunter. So now we hunt... for YOU!"

- Diamond Dog Leader

A Dog and Pony Show is a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic episode from season one. In this episode, Rarity decides to find a new load of gems with Spike's assistance. But when a group of creatures called the Diamond Dogs abduct Rarity, Spike and the other ponies head underground to rescue her.

Episode summary
Inside the Carousel Boutique, after putting the last gem onto her latest mysterious garment, Rarity heard a customer walk into her shop and she hid her latest project from view. She casually greeted the customer, only to find out in shock that it was "Pony of Pop" sensation Sapphire Shores. Sapphire explained that she had heard of Rarity's fashion designs from a local magazine, and came to browse the shop for designs for her upcoming tour. Rarity happily showed Sapphire her latest finished project, a garment covered in multi-colored gems. Sapphire took an immediate liking to the bejeweled garment, saying that she would buy it... along with five more for costume changes. This would not have been a problem, except Rarity used all of the gems in her inventory for that one dress. She collapsed out of shock, and Sapphire remarked about her fans collapsing the same way the unicorn did before stepping out of the store.

Sometime later, Rarity asked Spike to assist her in finding a new load of gems outside Ponyville. In return, he could have a few as a snack. While using her magic to track down gems, she chatted with Spike about her encounter with the famous pony, denying the fact that she, in Spike's words, "flipped out" in excitement. Spike managed to curb his appetite, and was rewarded with a stunning blue gem. Rather than eat it right away, he decided to keep hold of it as a gift from his crush.

Hiding in the bushes, a trio of canines known as Diamond Dogs were in awe of the large amount of stones being carried by the baby dragon, mistaking him as a gem tracker. Before they made their move, they heard Rarity's voice, and discovered that she was the one finding the gems. Ambushed by the mutts, Rarity panicked, but Spike intercepted to get the unicorn to escape. Unfortunately, they shook off the dragon and succeeded in abducting Rarity before escaping into their hole in the ground.

Spike brought the other ponies after his rushed explanation to the spot of the incident, only to see the entire site was laden with holes. They encountered the dogs, but were outmaneuvered to exhaustion due to the dogs home-field advantage. They could only imagine how much suffering their friend was going through, as the prim unicorn could not stand to be stuck in a dirty, humid environment. Spike used his blue gem as bait to catch one of the dogs. He imagined himself as a muscled knight, defeating hordes of dogs to rescue his "beloved". As he returned to reality, his fishing line was snagged, and he and the ponies were dragged into a large set of tunnels. Alone at the moment, they theorized that the dogs may have took the elegant unicorn to a spot with the most gems, but there was no way to find her. Suddenly, Spike and Twilight remembered that Rarity showed her how to track gems herself. Using the spell, Twilight located countless gems through one of the tunnels. They picked up the trail and the rescue was on.

Within the central area underground, the Diamond Dogs' demand was simple: having captured Rarity, they would enslave her into finding all the gems she can. At first, the elegant unicorn was more than happy to oblige. However, she soon learned how greedy (and inconsiderate) they truly were. Despite their digging expertise, they ordered her to dig for them. Begrudgingly, she did, but since she recently had a hoof pedicure, she reminded them that she wasn't going to dig very deep. Frustrated at this pathetically slow pace, the leader called on their comrades to do the digging. They decided to use her to haul carts of the dug-up gems instead. As she got to work, she started complaining about their lack of personal hygiene, living quarters and the fact that they failed to treat her as a proper lady, much to their increasing chagrin. She even went as far as to compare her complaining with what they thought was whining. The three lead dogs eventually begged her to keep quiet and that they would do anything for that to happen. A moment later, Rarity was set near the center, treated like a princess while the pack proceeded to dig the jewels she tracked. Just as she was getting used to the royal treatment, one of the leaders realized that they could actually endure her constant whining as long as she did as they told her. Once more, he did just that, but then made the crucial mistake of calling her-- of all things-- a " MULE "! Rarity broke down in tears, offended by being compared an "ugly creature". The dogs tried to cheer her up and apologize. It didn't work, and her ongoing bawling was driving them nuts.

A distance away from the center, Spike and the ponies heard Rarity's cries and picked up the pace. A group of dogs saw them as new "work horses" and ambushed, hopped on, and muzzled them. Applejack got her friends to buck them off rodeo-style and the mutts retreated. Spike hoped to relish the moment of saving Rarity from the dogs. In the end, however, it was the dogs that needed saving from the annoying, crybaby unicorn. They offered to give away all of the gems they found, providing the ponies take their friend back along with them.

On their way home, Rarity revealed that annoying her captors was all a ruse to keep them under control. Twilight was so impressed by this revelation, she learned that someone who looks defenseless can rely on their wits to survive.

Major Events

 * Rarity revealed that she can find jewels with her magic.
 * Both the Diamond Dogs and Sapphire Shores debuted in this episode.

Quotes

 * Twilight Sparkle: Spike, can you breathe now?
 * Spike: Yes... (pants) I think so.
 * Twilight Sparkle: Good. Now tell us what you know.
 * Rainbow Dash: Yeah. Cause all you said earlier was...
 * (flashback)
 * Spike: Aaaah! Rarity... woods... jewels... dogs... hole... taken... SAVE HER!


 * Pinkie Pie: Holy moly! That's a lotta holeys!


 * Applejack: Now, I'm used to pickin' myself up and dustin' myself off, but Rarity won't even touch mud 'less it's imported.


 * Rarity: Oh, woe is me! What ever shall I do? Ah! Dirt, dirt! Get away, dirt! Oh! Make it stop, make it stop! Filthy, disgusting dirt. It stings, it burns. Help! Somepony save me, SAVE ME!


 * Small diamond dog: Get me the baubles!
 * Big diamond dog: Get me the beads!
 * DD Leader: Get me the trinkets!
 * Diamond dogs: Where is the treasure?!
 * Rarity: Ohhhh... (Faints)


 * Princess Rarity: Oh, Spike! I knew you would save me!
 * Sir Spike: Nothing could stop me, my lady.
 * Princess Rarity: Oh, Spike. You are my hero. *smooch*
 * Sir Spike: Mmmmmm...
 * Applejack: Ho-hold there, lover boy.

Rarity: Forgive me, but prior to you so rudely dragging me into your dirt pit, I had a pony-pedi, and I am not about to chip a hoof because you dislike my style of digging.
 * Big DD: What are you doing? We said dig !

Small diamond dog: Precious pony pedi will be preserved. Rarity: Well, somebody certainly need some proper nail care. When was the last time you two had a manicure? You're scratching up my coat with that jagged things.
 * Big diamond dog: Others will dig. You will haul the wagon.

DD Leader: Smeeeeeell? Rarity: Ah, mystery solved. It's your breath.
 * Rarity: Good heavens, what is that smell?

Short DD: Good gracious, I can't take this anymore. BE QUIET, PONY!
 * DD Leader: Search, Pony!
 * Rarity: Well, since you insist... But I must say the working conditions in here are simply dreadful. Musty and damp, it's going to wreak havoc on my mane. And this air is stricking suffocating. And when I try to take a deep breath, the stench of all you dogs makes me nauseating. You look and smell like if you haven't bathed in weeks. Have you never heard of soap? You could all do with a good round of soap and water. Water, water, I'm terribly thirsty. Could I please have some water?


 * Rarity: I am not "whining". I am complaining. Do you want to hear "whining" (whines) This is whining! Ooohhhh! This harness is too tight! It's going to chafe! Can't you loosen it?! OH! It hurts and it's so rusty! Why didn't you clean it first?! It's gonna leave a stain, and the wagon's getting heavy! Why do I have to pull it?!
 * Short DD: AAH! Make it stop!
 * DD Leader: Stop whining!!!
 * Rarity: (still whining) But I thought you wanted whining!


 * DD Leader: Yes, yes, I know. This is ridiculous! Letting a pony order us around. What are we? Mice or dogs?
 * Diamond Dogs: Mi... dogs?
 * DD Leader: Dogs do not pull. Ponies pull. Let her make the awful noises.


 * DD Leader: Make the noises all you want. But move while you make them. Hyah, mule!
 * Rarity: (shocked) Did you... just call me a... mule?!
 * DD Leader: Eh...
 * Rarity: Mules are ugly! Are you saying that I, too, am ugly?! *cries*

Diamond dogs leader: No! Mule! I said mule! Rarity: An old ugly mule! And it's true! Just look at me. I used to be beautiful, but nooow... Big DD: No, no! You're still beautiful, po... uh, Miss Rarity. Rarity: You're just saying that! Small DD: No, you're still pretty and... and... DD leader: Oh, and, and nice, yeah. Rarity: I don't believe you! You never liked me! *Cries more*
 * Rarity: HE CALLED ME UGLY!


 * Applejack: Ho doggies! If you can take this bull by the horns, you better be ready to ride! Come one, ponies. Kick 'em up, kick 'em out. Buck 'em up, buck 'em down.


 * Spike: I'm coming for you, my lady. Heigh-ho, Twilight! Away!
 * Twilight: And just what do you think you're doing?!
 * Spike: Please, Twilight. Just give me this...
 * Twilight: *groans* Fine... *neighs*

Trivia

 * The Episode title is a reference to the phrase "a dog and pony show", which originated in 19th century America as a term for small traveling circuses that toured through rural areas. The modern usage refers to an elaborate display or presentation.
 * The episode's "Diamond Dogs" take their name from David Bowie's famous concept album and its titular song.
 * Rodeo music from Fall Weather Friends is used in this episode.
 * When Spike first uncovers some gems, what appears to be the scene's animatic is visible in the valley next to his head.