Transcripts/A Friend in Deed


 * [music starts]
 * Pinkie Pie: Let's do this. [wibbles tongue] Happy! Sad. Happy! Sad. Happy! Sad. Open, shut, open, shut, open, shut, open, shut. [speaks gibberish] Oooweooo, oooweooo, oooweooo, oooweooo, oooweooweooweoo! [blows raspberry, then pants]
 * [pinch noise]
 * Pumpkin Cake: [baby noises, laughing]
 * Pinkie Pie: Nailed it!




 * [cockerel crows]
 * Pinkie Pie: Morning, Daisy Jo! Here to pick up some cookies to go with your milk?
 * Cow: Oh ja, Pinkie, don't'ya know?
 * Pinkie Pie: Well Mrs. Cake just baked a batch of your favorite oatmeal.
 * Cow: Mooo, sounds delightful!
 * Pinkie Pie: Oh, Rose, your Calla lillies look even better than last year! I bet you'll take first prize at the flower show again. [Note: the liellies shown don't look like Callas at all]
 * Rose: Thanks, Pinkie, would you like one?
 * Pinkie Pie: Absolutely! [chomps] Looking fit as a fiddle, Mr. Waddle, and you're wearing my favorite tie!
 * Mr. Waddle: Aw shucks Miss Pinkie, you flatterer you.
 * Pinkie Pie: Well, happy birthday, Cheerilee.
 * Cheerilee: Thank you, Pinkie.
 * Pinkie Pie: Happy day-after-your-birthday, Zecora!
 * Zecora: What a lovely hi, Miss Pinkie Pie!
 * Pinkie Pie: And Miss Matilda, happy birthday to you... in one hundred and thirty two days!
 * Matilda: Pinkie Pie! How do you remember everything about everypony?
 * Pinkie Pie: 'Cause everypony's my friend and I love to see my friends smile!


 * Pinkie Pie: I've never seen you before.
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: Kid, you're smarter than you look.
 * Pinkie Pie: Thanks! I'm Pinkie Pie. What's your name? “Property of C.D.D.” I'm guessing that last “D” is for Donkey.
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: Quick as a whip, kid.
 * Pinkie Pie: Now, how 'bout that C. Hmm... Calvin? [?]? [?]? Carl? Carma? Carlo? Charlie? Chester? Chico? [?]? [?]? Clipper? [?]? Cornelius? Cortez? [?]-
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: Cranky! It's Cranky, alright?!
 * Pinkie Pie: And your middle name?
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: [mumbles] Doodle.
 * Pinkie Pie: I'm sorry?
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: [quickly] Doodle.
 * Pinkie Pie: One more time...!
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: [sighs] Doodle.
 * Pinkie Pie: [gasps] So you're a Cranky Doodle Donkey?


 * Pinkie Pie: C'mon, now, Doodle, give a smile!
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: Nopony calls me Doodle!
 * Pinkie Pie: ...what just happened? Meet somepony new, check. Introduce myself, check. Sing random song outta nowhere, check. Become instant best friends... uncheck. I don't get it. How can somepony not become instant best friends with me? Was it something I said? Was it something I sang? This is no time for the blame game, Pinkie! There's somepony new in town, and you need to win him over! 'Try everything you can to make Cranky smile and be your friend'. Check!


 * Pinkie Pie: Alright, Pinkie, if you're gonna win Cranky's friendship, you're gonna have to bring your A game! Let's do this. Howdy doody, Cranky Doodle! So, uh, are you moving to Ponyville, Cranky?
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: What gave you the hint there, kid? The cart full of stuff, maybe?
 * Pinkie Pie: Well, I'd be happy to show you around. It's the least a new friend can do.
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: Listen, kid, I've travelled around Equestria my entire life. I've made many friends. I don't need any more.
 * Pinkie Pie: Gosh! I could never have too many friends!
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: Well, why don't you go and make some more.
 * Pinkie Pie: But I don't need to go, when I can stay and make friends... with you.
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: Look, kid, y-
 * Pinkie Pie: Oh, Cranky, you can call me Pinkie. All of my friends do.
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: Look, kid, I came to Ponyville for some peace and quiet and privacy, to be alone with my memories. All I want is to get to my new home and unpack my stuff.
 * Pinkie Pie: Ooh, what does this bauble do?
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: Don't touch that!
 * Pinkie Pie: Ooooooh, what's this?
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: Please, don't!
 * Pinkie Pie: Oooh, look at these!
 * [windchimes chime]
 * Pinkie Pie: Eeeheeeheee!
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: Pinkie! Keep your hooves off my wagon!
 * Pinkie Pie: Okay, Cranky. [gasps] [quickly] I promised not to touch your wagon so I brought one of my own! I use it to welcome folks!
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: Who'd'a guessed.
 * Pinkie Pie: Maybe we can be wagon buddies? Well, you've gotta at least let me give you the special welcome that comes with it...
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: [groans] Let's get this over with.
 * Pinkie Pie: That's the spirit!


 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: Noooo!
 * [splat]
 * Pinkie Pie: Oh, silly me! I must've put the confetti in the oven and the cake in the confetti cannon! Again! [giggles] [chomps] Mmm, still delicious! Try some, Cranky, it's sure to make you smile.
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: Oh, where is it, where is it?
 * Pinkie Pie: Where is what? [yelps] Spider! Big hairy spider!
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: Stop, stop, stop!
 * Pinkie Pie: Oh. Was that your wig?
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: [growls]
 * Pinkie Pie: I can fix this, I can fix this! [through megaphone] Hey, everypony! Does anypony have a toupee?
 * Ponies: [Huh?, Toupee?, etc]
 * Pinkie Pie: [through megaphone] This donkey is really, really, bald!
 * Ponies: [laughing]
 * Pinkie Pie: [through megaphone] What's so funny? This is serious business, everypony! Cranky needs a new wig to cover his hairless head!
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: I have had enough!
 * Pinkie Pie: Oh, you're losing him, Pinkie. Wait, Cranky! Please, let me make it up to you...
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: No!
 * Pinkie Pie: Please! Oh, please please please... [fades out]


 * Pinkie Pie: Ladies, this is a spa emergency. Cranky needs help, STAT.


 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: [groans]
 * Pinkie Pie: Hi, Cranky, I have a gift for you!
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: The spa treatment was gift enough.
 * Pinkie Pie: It's not going to explode or anything. Promise. Just open it! It's a new toupee! I had my friend Rarity make it. She called it the “dreamboat special”.
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: This is wonderful. Thanks, kid.
 * Pinkie Pie: He's starting to warm up, but still no smile. Hmmm.


 * Pinkie Pie: Hey! Whatcha doing there, ol' buddy ol' pal?
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: What's it look like?
 * Pinkie Pie: Looks like a yard sale. [?], I'll give you two bits for this!
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: I'm not selling, kid, I'm unpacking.
 * Pinkie Pie: Well, why didn't you say so?
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: I thought I had.
 * Pinkie Pie: This is so pretty! Where'd you get it?
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: Manehattan, now put it down, gently.
 * Pinkie Pie: Really? What were you doin' there?
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: Trying to find a friend.
 * Pinkie Pie: Oooh, I'm always trying to find friends, and today I found you. See how good I am at it?
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: This was a special friend.
 * Pinkie Pie: Like me?
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: No, you're extra special, kid.
 * Pinkie Pie: [to herself] Yes. I'm in. [to Cranky] Woow, where in Equestria did you get this, Cranky?
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: Fillydelphia.
 * Pinkie Pie: It's awfully pretty.
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: Yes, she was.
 * Pinkie Pie: Huh?
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: I mean, it was, I mean, it is, yes, it's pretty, now put it down!
 * Pinkie Pie: I wonder where Cranky got this. Huh. Will you look at that? Hey, Cranky! Can I ask you about-
 * [crunch]
 * [crash]
 * Pinkie Pie: Oh no!
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: What did you say-ayayayayay! What have you done?!
 * Pinkie Pie: There! Uh, uh, all better?
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: No, not all better, all soggy!
 * Pinkie Pie: I'm sorry, Cranky!
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: Oh, you're sorry, well, then, everything is fine.
 * Pinkie Pie: ...It is?
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: No! It isn't! Listen to me, kid, I will never be your friend!
 * Pinkie Pie: Never, or never-ever?
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: Never, ever, ever, ever, ever!
 * [door slams]
 * Pinkie Pie: That's four 'ever's. That's like... forever!


 * Pinkie Pie: I just can't believe it. Cranky said he would never forever by my friend. It was horrible.
 * Twilight Sparkle: I know this is hard for you, Pinkie, seeing that you're friends with everypony, but you just have to accept that Cranky is gonna be an exception. He just... doesn't want to be bothered.
 * Rainbow Dash: Yeah, he doesn't want to be bothered by your over-the-top super-hyper antics.
 * Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow!
 * Pinkie Pie: No, no, it's okay, Twilight. I get what you're saying. What you're both saying. And I guess... I can leave Cranky alone. ...Right after he accepts my apology!


 * Pinkie Pie: Cranky!
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: No! No! Leave me alone!
 * Pinkie Pie: Wait! I understand that you don't want me as a friend!
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: No, I don't!
 * Pinkie Pie: So I just wanted to say 'I'm sorry'!
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: Fine! You said it!
 * Pinkie Pie: Do you accept my apology?
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: No!
 * Pinkie Pie: Oh Cranky! Please accept my apology! Please!
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: No!
 * Pinkie Pie: But I really, really, really...
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: [gasps]
 * Pinkie Pie: ...really, really-
 * [engines revving]
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: Phew!
 * Pinkie Pie: ...really, really, really... ...really, really, really... ...really, really, really... ...really, really really really... [continues saying “really”, speed increases until] ...sorry!
 * [sound of locks and chains]
 * [six knocks]
 * Pinkie Pie: Cranky, please accept my apology! I'd do anything to make it up to you!
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: But there's nothing you can do! You ruined my book! You destroyed all I have to remember her by!
 * Pinkie Pie: Huh? Her who? The special friend?
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: Go away, Pinkie! [sighs]
 * [knocks]
 * Pinkie Pie: [muffled] Cranky? It's me again. I understand that you don't wanna be my friend or accept my apology... before I leave you alone forever, I have something to at least try to make up for ruining your book.
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: No, I don't want it, kid! Anything you would give me is sure to lead to some sort of disaster!
 * Matilda: [muffled] Goodness, you really are cranky.
 * [locks and chains]
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: It can't be... is it really you?
 * Matilda: It can, and it is.
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: Matilda! But how?
 * Matilda: Pinkie.
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: But... I never told you about her!
 * Pinkie Pie: You didn't have to. I put two and two and two together and it added up to Matilda.
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: What?
 * Pinkie Pie: Well when you were talking about your souveneirs, you said something about trying to find a special friend! And y'know, I wasn't just born yesterday, nuh-uh! My birthday isn't for another seventy five days!
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: Huh?
 * Pinkie Pie: And then, in your scrapbook, there was a flower, an old ticket, and a menu from the Grand Galloping Gala! And I knew I recognized all these things.
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: But how could you have ever seen them before?
 * Matilda: Because I also have them in my scrapbook.
 * Pinkie Pie: And I'd seen them in Matilda's book!
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: Oh, Matilda. The night we met at the gala was the most magical night of my life.
 * [old timey music begins]
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: I couldn't wait to see you again. But when I came to your room the next day, you were gone.
 * Matilda: Didn't you get my note?
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: No, I never got it. Ever since that day I've gone from town, to town, to town... searching all over Equestria for you, until finally I gave up. I came to Ponyville to retire from my search.
 * Matilda: I was living in Ponyville the whole time. I always hoped that one day you would come and find me. Doodle.
 * Pinkie Pie: Uh. Matilda? Nopony calls him Doodle...
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: Nopony... but Matilda. Mmm.
 * Matilda: Oh, Doodle, I'm so happy to see you. [kisses]
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: [donkey noises]
 * Pinkie Pie: So does this mean that you accept my apology?
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: Yes, Pinkie, I accept your apology, and I an honored to call you my friend.
 * Pinkie Pie: [explodes like a firework] Woohoo! This is just fantastic! Ooh, now we can hang out together, and chat, and sing songs, and [gasps] party! Oh, I can throw you guys a big party! It'll be called a 'Welcome to Ponyville, I found my lost love, I'm BFF's with Pinkie Pie Party'! ...Or maybe something less over-the-top and not so super-hyper.
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: Pinkie, we're eternally grateful to you. But... Matilda and I just want to spend some time together in peace and quiet.
 * Pinkie Pie: Oh. Um, but we're still friends?
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey: Pinkie, you went way, way, way out of your way to make me happy. Of course we're friends.
 * Pinkie Pie: Great!


 * Pinkie Pie: Dear Princess Celestia, there are many different kinds of friends, and many ways to express friendship. Some friends like to run and laugh and play together. But others just like to be left alone, and that's fine too. But the best thing about friendship is being able to make your friends smile.
 * He had a Cranky Doodle sweetheart
 * She's his Cranky Doodle joy
 * [?] a Cranky Doodle boy, yeah
 * [?] a Cranky Doodle boy
 * Cranky Doodle Donkey and Matilda: Pinkie...
 * Pinkie Pie: Whoops, privacy. Sorry!


 * [Yankee Doodle Dandy plays over credits]