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Episode 2, 4, 6, Greaaat
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[bird chirping]
Twilight Sparkle: I have to admit I was a little shocked when Princess Celestia told me she wanted to start a scholastic buckball league. But I was even more surprised that she wanted the first game to be between her school and ours! Apparently, she's a huge sports fan.
Pinkie Pie: Always thought Celestia was kind of a jock, just with really wavy hair.
Twilight Sparkle: Anyway, we don't have much time. The game is in two weeks, and I want all of you to coach the team!
[excited chattering]
Fluttershy: [hyperventilating]
Twilight Sparkle: I know how you feel. Young athletes ready to take the field. Ooh, you could almost breathe in the excitement!
Fluttershy: [gasps]
Snails: I don't think you should breathe it in so hard.
Fluttershy: It's just... Two weeks doesn't feel like a whole lot of time to train a whole team.
Pinkie Pie: Mmmmaybe the School of Magic could play a few other schools first. Like the Mane and Tail Styling College or the Scroll-Making Institute?
Twilight Sparkle: Relax. You're gonna do just fine.
Fluttershy: Um, [gasps] what makes you so sure?
Twilight Sparkle: Because I have faith in my friends, who also happen to be the best buckball players in Equestria!
Pinkie Pie: Oh, yeah!
Fluttershy: I guess that is sort of true.
Twilight Sparkle: I asked Rainbow Dash to help, too. But I'm not sure when she—
Rainbow Dash: Sorry I'm late! But when Twilight said she needed my help with the buckball team, I figured I'd better grab every piece of coaching equipment I could find! So what should I focus on? Offense? Defense? Trick plays?
Twilight Sparkle: I was thinking of something even more important.
Rainbow Dash: Awesome! Lay it on me. Whatever it is, I'll give it a hundred and twenty percent!
Twilight Sparkle: I knew I could count on your enthusiasm! That's why I want you to coach the cheer squad!
Rainbow Dash: Cheerleading?!
[theme song]
Rainbow Dash: I don't mean to sound ungrateful. It's just when you said you wanted my help with something important, I thought you meant something important.
Twilight Sparkle: The cheer squad is important.
Rainbow Dash: [laughs hysterically] Oh. Well, sure, cheer squad is totally important to somepony who isn't me. But I'm more about ponies playing in the game, not cheering for it.
[students laughing]
Rainbow Dash: I mean, it's great that some ponies only want to cheer, though I don't know why they would.
Twilight Sparkle: Hmmm. Well, maybe this will be a good opportunity for you to find out.
Rainbow Dash: Of course I've seen cheer squads before – on the sidelines – but I'm not even a hundred percent sure what they do. I'll probably just mess it up.
Twilight Sparkle: I think you might be surprised. In fact, I'm more sure than ever that you're the perfect choice.
Snips: I'm actually one hundred and twenty percent sure. And it's a good thing, too. The cheer squad really needs you.
Rainbow Dash: What do you mean?
Snips: Well, I've been helping out, and let's put it this way. We've got two weeks until the big game, and... we could use two years. But that's all gonna change because you're here to save the day!
Rainbow Dash: Okay... So why are you here?
Snips: What? A pony can't show school spirit?
Rainbow Dash: You don't even go to this school.
Snips: Uh, okay. When I went to the Buckball Hall of Fame, I found out buckball souvenirs are big bits. If Twilight's team does well, I could start selling them full-time in Ponyville! So I have a vested interest, and you have an assistant coach! [blows whistle]
Rainbow Dash: Ugh.
Lighthoof and Shimmy Shake: [giggling]
Lighthoof: [valley girl accent] She's here!
Shimmy Shake: [valley girl accent] Get the lights!
[rhythmically] Over and over and over again!
[rhythmically] We wanna dance for each other and for all of our friends!
Rainbow Dash: Dancing. Right. I've seen you two around school, haven't I?
Shimmy Shake: [laughs] I'm Shimmy Shake, and this is Lighthoof.
Lighthoof: And we are your lead dancers.
Rainbow Dash: I didn't know you three would be here.
Yona: [laughs] Yona want to cheer and make pony pyramid!
Ocellus: And I thought this could be my chance to make an impression on everypony. You know, for something other than changing shape.
Rainbow Dash: I didn't realize you were into school spirit, Smolder.
Smolder: Eh. I just came with these two. Guess they think you can make cheer squad cool or something.
Rainbow Dash: Don't count on it.
Snips: Okay! Now that we're all here, why don't you tell us the plan? How are you gonna make us into the most awesome cheer squad ever?
Rainbow Dash: Eh... I'unno.
Cheer Squad: [groan]
Rainbow Dash: I mean, if you guys were an actual buckball team, I'd have plenty of ideas. But I don't know anything about cheerleading.
Snips: Oh! [laughs] Yes! Good one, coach! But Headmare Twilight picked you for the job, so I'm pretty sure you know what you're doing.
Rainbow Dash: If you say so.
Snips: [laughs] Right. Okay, gang, let's show Rainbow Dash what we've been working on, and she can take it from there.
Yona: Cheer squad can do that!
Lighthoof: Yup. All we need is a little music!
[up-tempo music playing]
Shimmy Shake: Over... and over... and over a...gain!
Lighthoof: We want to dance... for each other and for all of our friends!
Smolder: [unenthusiastically] Two, four, six, eight.
Ocellus: [quietly] Uh... friendship school is really... great.
Smolder: Well, that was a disaster.
Shimmy Shake: It's kind of hard to stick to our choreography when the floor is moving.
Lighthoof: [scoffs] Yeah, Yona, your stomps are a little too powerful.
Yona: Can we make pony pyramid instead?
Ocellus: Maybe we should figure out what cheers we should do first.
Smolder: [scoffs, sarcastically] Yeah, because that'll fix everything.
Snips: So, I mean, there's a few... uh, a lot of problems, but nothing you can't solve, right?
Rainbow Dash: Huh? Oh, yeah. Listen, you guys don't have anything to worry about.
Smolder: We don't?
Rainbow Dash: Nope. In fact, I think what you all just did is totally fine. You guys have got this. So, uh, I'm just gonna head down to the field. Uh, great practice, everypony!
[door slams]
Rainbow Dash: Ugh! What are you doing?
Snips: [grunting] What are you doing?! You've got to come back and coach the squad!
Rainbow Dash: I watched them cheer stuff. Looked fine to me.
Snips: [grunts] Well, it's not! Do you know what'll happen if they do what they just did at the big game?
Rainbow Dash: Uh, nothing?
Snips: Uh, wrong!
Rainbow Dash: Ooh!
Snips: A good cheer squad gets the fans excited, which gets the team excited. But if nopony's excited, then no... pony... buys... any... souvenirs!
Rainbow Dash: I think you're blowing this a little out of proportion.
Snips: Point is, if I'm going to make any bits at these games, that squad has to get better. And to do that, they need a coach.
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] You know what? You're right! Why don't you do it? I mean, you're the one with a vested interest.
Snails: The trick to being a good buckball keeper is to do nothin'. Just empty your mind. Be the ball.
Pizzelle: Uh, balls don't have minds.
Snails: Exactly.
"November Rain": Uh, where's my blindfold?
"Berry Bliss": My turn!
Pizzelle: I want to do that!
"Berry Bliss": Over here!
Smolder: Why are you watching Snails' weird practice when you're supposed to be practicing with us?
Rainbow Dash: [chuckles] Snails' practice is definitely weird. Uh, I thought Snips was practicing with you.
Smolder: He was.
Shimmy Shake: [sighs] Do you have any idea how hard it is to dance in this stuff?
Ocellus: [softly] Plus all these buttons jingle so much, you can't hear my cheers.
Smolder: Speaking up might help a little.
Rainbow Dash: So don't dance and cheer.
Yona: Uh, then what cheer squad do?
Rainbow Dash: I dunno.
Smolder: [angrily] Maybe you should! [calmly] Or whatever. You're the coach! You're supposed to come up with stuff for us to do.
Rainbow Dash: Okay. I've got something for you to do.
Snails: Just do nothing. Empty your minds. Be the squad.
Smolder: We are the squad.
Snails: Oh, yeah.
Snips: At least helping sell my souvenirs was... something.
Yona: Yona still not understand how this make us better. Huh? Professor Dash needs to stay and coach!
Rainbow Dash: [groans] You guys asked me to come up with something, and I did.
Smolder: I don't think nothing counts.
Rainbow Dash: Then I'm out of ideas.
Snails: This is the School of Friendship. If you need ideas, you should ask your friends for help.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh, fine.
[montage music]
[party cannon squeak]
Rainbow Dash: Okay. Since you guys have been nagging me nonstop about this cheer stuff for, like, ever...
Smolder: It has literally been one day.
Rainbow Dash: ...I went around and got everything you need!
Smolder: Uh, what're we supposed to do with hay?
Rainbow Dash: Beats me, but Applejack seemed pretty sure about it. Oh, I almost forgot.
Ocellus: A rhyming dictionary?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah. Zecora's a lot less helpful than you'd think. That's from the library so you can come up with cheers. Okay! Good practice!
Smolder: So, you're just leaving again?
Rainbow Dash: Ugh! Look. I talked to my friends, and they said this is the stuff you need. Wouldn't a true cheer squad be able to figure out what to do with it?
Lighthoof: But Fluttershy and Pinkie wanted us to show 'em everything we come up with tomorrow!
Shimmy Shake: They want us to get the team all excited before the big game!
Rainbow Dash: Well, then it's a good thing I got you all this stuff. You better get to work!
[door slams]
Snips: Don't look at me.
Fluttershy: Good work, everypony! Let's take a break!
Rainbow Dash: [whistles] Yeah! [whistles] Wow! This team is really shaping up! Nice job!
Fluttershy: Thanks. I'm excited to see what you've been up to.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah! I can't wait to see the cheer squad!
Rainbow Dash: [laughs hysterically] Oh. You're serious.
Pinkie Pie: Woo-hoo! Go, team! This is so exciting!
Fluttershy: Well, I'm sure you've put in a lot of hard work.
Rainbow Dash: How much work does cheer squad need?
Snips: Anypony want to buy an official School of Friendship cheer squad headband? Now I personally would buy them before the performance!
Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy: Huh?
[up-tempo music playing]
[Shimmy Shake]
Over... and over... and over again!
[stomping continues]
We wanna dance for each other and for all of our friends!
[unenthusiastically] School of Friendship, rah, rah, rah
Let's win this game and hit the... oh, what rhymes with "rah"? Spa?
[stomping continues]
[record needle scratches]
[stomping continues]
Shimmy Shake and Lighthoof: Yona!
[party cannon squeak]
Smolder: [blusters]
Pinkie Pie: I know I said I couldn't wait to see the cheer squad, but maybe I could've waited just a teensy bit longer.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, yeah! Nice one! Huh? What?
Rainbow Dash: I don't know what everypony's so upset about. So it wasn't great. Cheerleading's never great. That's why everypony gets up to get a snack during it.
Yona: [bawls loudly]
Rainbow Dash: What is the big deal?
Shimmy Shake: If you don't know, there's no point in us trying to explain it to you!
Lighthoof: Lead dancers, out!
Shimmy Shake and Lighthoof: Hmph!
Smolder: It's not that we were bad. It's that you didn't even want to try to help us get better!
Rainbow Dash: I didn't try? What are you talking about?! I got you a party cannon! It's not my fault you couldn't figure out how to use it right.
Ocellus: [loudly] Well, you could have shown us! [sobbing]
Rainbow Dash: Whoa. Ponies might actually care about cheer squad if she cheered like that all the time.
Smolder: Why would you say ponies don't care about cheer squad?
Rainbow Dash: Because they don't.
Smolder: No. You don't. But they do! I bet Headmare Twilight does! And you know what? I do, too! I actually got excited when I found out you were gonna be our coach! I figured if anypony can make cheer squad awesome, it's you!
Rainbow Dash: Me? Why?
Smolder: Because everything's always awesome with you! Or twenty percent cooler! Or whatever! You're the most enthusiastic pony in Equestria when it's something you care about. I just wish we were one of those things.
[door opens, closes]
Snips: And it looks like my assistant cheer coach/souvenir selling business is a bust. So I'm gonna take off, unless you can think of something else for me to do.
Rainbow Dash: Maybe I can.
Ocellus and Yona: [snoring]
Snips: [blows whistle]
Yona: Yaks hate loud noises!
Ocellus: Aah!
Snips: Squad meeting! Outside! ASAP!
[new age music]
[record needle scratches]
Snips: [blows whistle] Dance ponies, buckball field, pronto!
Smolder: [snoring]
Snips: [blows whistle] Hey, dragon! Get out here and join your squad!
Smolder: So, what? Is there some new button you wanna sell?
Snips: Not a button.
Cheer Squad: Ugh...
Smolder: Not this again.
Lighthoof: Sorry. We're not buying.
Rainbow Dash: Wait! Look, I know I haven't been a great coach because I don't care about cheerleading. But all of you do, and I care about you. So I guess maybe I care about cheer squad. And a good friend reminded me that I can make anything I care about totally awesome. So from now on, I'm gonna give this thing a hundred and twenty percent, and I expect the same from you. We are gonna dance! We are gonna cheer! We're gonna make the biggest pony pyramid Equestria's ever seen! And when we're done, we're gonna make sure everypony on that field is so pumped up, they'll forget they even came to see a game!
Snips: Ah! But not so pumped up that they forget to buy a pennant or a button or a quality souvenir T-shirt.
Snips: What?
[montage music]
Rainbow Dash: [blows whistle in time with stomping]
Rainbow Dash: [blows whistle]
[music continues]
Rainbow Dash: [coughing]
[party cannon squeak]
Cheer Squad: [laughs]
[crowd cheering]
Twilight Sparkle: Yahoo!
Princess Celestia: I realize the game of buckball traditionally requires an Earth pony, a Pegasus, and a unicorn, but I appreciate you allowing my students to compete.
Twilight Sparkle: Of course, and the wings and magical-dampening ring you made seem to be working really well.
Princess Celestia: Indeed, though not as well as your team. [echoing] COME ON, SCHOOL OF MAGIC!
Fluttershy: Ohhhh! The suspense is horrible! I'm the most nervous I've ever been, and that's saying something.
Rainbow Dash: I know how you feel!
Pinkie Pie: Don't worry! Celestia's team might be tough, but we can still win this thing!
Rainbow Dash: What? Oh, yeah, totally. But I wasn't talking about the game. Come on, come on, come on, come on!
Announcer: And that's the end of the first half!
Rainbow Dash: Aaah! Sorry! Can't talk right now!
Fluttershy: I sure hope Dash being nervous is a good sign.
[ponies chattering]
[up-tempo music playing]
[Shimmy Shake]
Over and over and over again!
We'll cheer for our team 'til the ve-ry end!
[rhythmic stomping]
[crowd cheering]
Smolder: [blows smoke]
Everypony in the crowd, if you're feeling hip
When I say "friend-", you say "-ship"!
Welcome, everypony, to the halftime show
We're the friendship squad, and we're ready to go!
We're here to cheer and get you all excited
If you'd like to join in, then you're all invited!
It's a simple cheer, so don't chime in late
It goes two, four, six, GREAT!
[party cannon squeak]
[flames whooshing]
[cheers and applause]
Rainbow Dash: [laughs] Not bad, right?
Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy: They... were... awesome!
Cheer Squad: [laughing]
Rainbow Dash: Well, they have a pretty decent coach.
Cheer Squad: [laughing]
[crowd cheering]
Announcer: And that's the game. Final score — School of Magic, five; School of Friendship, four.
Fluttershy: Nice work, everyone. You can't win them all.
Pinkie Pie: Sometimes, that's just how the cupcake crumbles.
Rainbow Dash: You guys were amazing!
School of Friendship Team: [groans]
Rainbow Dash: It was flawless. I can't think of any way that could've been better!
Smolder: We could have won the game.
Rainbow Dash: [scoffs] The game was just a sideshow. You guys were the main event!
Princess Celestia: I'm glad to see such good sportsponyship on display. Your cheer squad was an inspiration, Rainbow Dash. I'll have to start one at my school as well.
Twilight Sparkle: Wow, Rainbow Dash! It's almost like you were the perfect pony to coach cheer squad after all!
Rainbow Dash: Wait a second. Was this one of those things where you knew the lesson I needed to learn before I learnt it?
Twilight Sparkle: You mean like how you don't have to care about a thing other ponies like as long as you care about the ponies who like it? Nope. Don't know what you're talking about.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh!
Princess Celestia: Nicely done.
All: [laughing]