Transcript | |
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Episode | Bad Thing No. 3 |
Previous | Cute-pocalypse Meow |
Next | Pinkie Pie: Hyper-Helper |
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Part 1[]
- Pinkie Pie: [sighs] Just smell the morning air, Gummy. [deep sniff]
- Gummy: [sniffs]
- Pinkie Pie: So peaceful. So serene. It's like nothing bad in the whole world could ever—
- [door opens]
- Pinkie Pie: Aah!
- [door closes]
- Pinkie Pie: If this is another croissant caper, don't think you'll out-muscle me again! I know your tricks!
- Rarity: [sighs]
- Pinkie Pie: Oh, Rarity!
- Rarity: Pinkie! Help! Something horrid has happened!
- Pinkie Pie: Who did what?! Let me at' em! LET ME AT 'EM!
- Rarity: It's almost too awful to say.
- [crash!]
- [door closes]
- [poof!]
- Rarity: [sighs] Ponyville's primary pony of propriety, Fancy Pants, has asked me to go for a stroll in the park!
- Pinkie Pie: Um, and this is bad because... you don't want to go?
- Rarity: Worse! I do want to go!
- Pinkie Pie: Oh! That is awful! Wait. Why is that awful?
- Rarity: "Why?", she asks. Why?! [laughs] Here's why.
- [squeak]
- [whoosh]
- [shatter]
- Rarity: [narrating] Yesterday, I was only slightly flaunting my new headband while putting a subtle fine touch on my garden, when suddenly...
- Fancy Pants: Ah! My mirror!
- Rarity: Fancy Pants!
- Fancy Pants: Oh, how will I ever find such another lovely face to—? [gasps]
- [romantic music]
- Rarity: Oh! Didn't see you there. I was just casually having some potion my friend Pinkie gave me. [laughs nervously] Uh, would you like a sip?
- Fancy Pants: No. I would love one!
- Rarity: [gasps]
- Fancy Pants: Would you like to go for a stroll in the park with me tomorrow eve?
- Rarity: No. I would love to!
- Fancy Pants: Ah! Then I'll see you tomorrow night!
- [shatter]
- Rarity: Ugh!
- Fancy Pants: Oh, it seems your endearing clumsiness has resulted in a bad omen.
- Rarity: Bad omen?
- Fancy Pants: Well, you know what they say. Bad things happen in threes. Hopefully, our stroll won't be bad thing number three, eh? [laughs]
- Rarity: [forced laughter] Yes! Terribly funny! How truly horrific! All right, Rarity. One bad thing happened. Nothing to worry about. [laughs nervously] Now, a second bad thing were to happen, and I'd really have to— Whoa! Oof!
- [pounding]
- Pinkie Pie: Oh. [laughs] Okay.
- Rarity: My headband got covered in potion, Pinkie Pie. Now it won't stop revealing deep, dark truths to me.
- Pinkie Pie: Huh. Wow.
- Inner Pinkie Pie: [clears throat] Pinkie Pie. Sprinkles cannot fix every problem.
- Pinkie Pie: [screams]
- Pinkie Pie: That was horrible!
- Rarity: So, you can see why bad thing number three absolutely must happen before my rendezvous with Fancy Pants.
- Pinkie Pie: Wait, what?
- Rarity: If it happens before the rendezvous, it won't happen at the rendezvous.
- Pinkie Pie: That logic seems a little extreme.
- [loud banging]
- Rarity: Ooooh! This is it!
- [crash!]
- Fluttershy: Door was jammed. [giggles]
- Rarity: [growls]
- Fluttershy: [gasps] So cute!
- Fluttershy: Huh?
- Inner Fluttershy: You speak softly, yet you carry within you the most wondrous and terrifying force of all.
- Rarity: Well? Was it bad?
- Fluttershy: No. Nothing I didn't already know.
- Gummy: [croaks]
- Pinkie Pie: Let's just store this in the pantry for now, huh?
- [zip!]
- Rainbow Dash: Oh. You go for it.
- Twilight Sparkle: No, you.
- Rarity: Please don't fight! What's that? Your friendship is totally destroyed? Over such a silly misunderstanding? I never thought such a bad thing could happen! Ah, well. What can you do?
- Rainbow Dash: Uh, Rarity, we're not in a fight.
- [chomp]
- Rarity: [screams]
- Applejack: What's tuggin' your tail, Rarity?
- Rarity: Bad things happen in threes. And darling, I'm on strike three.
- [hiss]
- Applejack: Don't you think it's just a bit of superstition? There's no logical reason that... Okay. She's walkin' away.
- Rarity: That's it! This calls for more drastic action! Sabotage!
- Rarity: [to herself] You impress me yet again, Rarity, you saucy sassy girl with a mane that won't quit. [to herself] Oh, so sweet. Thank you.
- Applejack: Yikes.
Part 2[]
- Pinkie Pie: Souffle week of the Royal Jelly Juggernaut is notoriously difficult. But with this recipe, I know I can pull it off.
- Rainbow Dash: Noice! Huh? Mm.
- Rarity: [deep, gravelly voice] Must make the bad thing happen!
- Pinkie Pie: [reading incoherently]
- Rarity: [deep, gravelly voice] If Pinkie Pie's recipe were to suddenly disappear... that would be a bad thing. [normal voice] [gasps] But I can't take Pinkie's recipe. She needs it to compete. [deep, gravelly voice] Not until next weekend. You can get it back to her by then. She will never be the wiser. Plus, you can make it up to her later. [normal voice] Hmm. All right. You do make a good point. [deep, gravelly voice] That was... easier than I expected. [normal voice] [gasps] Ah! So it's come to this! Come at me with your worst!
- Gummy: [growls]
- Rarity: [yells] Take this!
- [thud]
- [zip!]
- Rarity: Hah!
- Gummy: [croaking]
- Rarity: [laughs, gasps] Ugh! [grunting] So... strong! Sweet victory! [yelling] Ugh. Huh? Not like this! [wails]
- Rarity: [wails] Okay, too late. I'm here. Ominous, sure, but her eyeshadow's stunning! Bravo!
- Inner Rarity: Rarity, bad thing number three will not happen at the park.
- Rarity: Really? Then it was all worth it.
- Inner Rarity: Because it has already happened. You are trapped here with me.
- [clang!]
- Rarity: [gasps]
- Inner Rarity: Bad things do not happen in threes, but you sealed your own fate by focusing on the negative rather than living in the present.
- Rarity: Okay, yes. Profound. Whatever. But seeing as I've already learned my lesson now, can't I still go to the park?
- Inner Rarity: No. [laughs] While mere seconds have passed for you and I, the outside world has aged eons! [laughs]
- Rarity: [screams]
- Rarity: [screams]
- [door opens]
- Rarity: [hyperventilates]
- Applejack: [gasps]
- Inner Rarity: W-W-W-W-Wait. So I lied about this one thing. But nopony ever hangs out with me here! Oh. [scoffs] Where's my phone?
- Rarity: Oh, Applejack! Twilight! And even young Pinkie! You're all here! How long was I gone? A week? A century?! Oh, what a foolish filly I have been. I suppose Fancy Pants has strolled on with another pony. Good. He deserves to be happy!
- Twilight Sparkle: Uh, Rarity? You were gone for thirty-five seconds.
- Fancy Pants: Oh, Rarity! Stroll time! Trot-trot!
- Twilight Sparkle: "Trot-trot"?
- Pinkie Pie: See? He's here!
- Rarity: B-B-But—!
- [zip!]
- Rarity: But bad thing number three!
- Pinkie Pie: You can't control it. Just go with the flow.
- Rarity: You sure it's just a silly superstition?
- Twilight Sparkle: One can never be completely sure— [muffled]
- Applejack: Yup-solutely! You've been through bad things before. Whatever happens now, you can handle it.
- Rarity: You're right! I have been prepared for the worst. Why not hope for the best?
- Rarity: What a lovely sunset. It reminds me of the—
- Fancy Pants: I've seen lovelier.
- Rarity: Oh. Oh, well, uh, changing the subject—
- Fancy Pants: Right. Back to what I want to talk about – me. Earlier today, I made the best point, immediately followed by the best joke. So I laughed and laughed until everypony left. And that's when I realized the most talented pony I ever met... was me.
- Rarity: Wow. I was so nervous about going walkies with you that I didn't realize... I don't like you.
- Fancy Pants: Uhhhh, excuse me?
- Rarity: Bad thing number three! It's you!
- Fancy Pants: Ohhhh, no-no-no, impossible. You see, I never come in third place. [laughs nervously, clears throat] As I was saying...
- [zip!]
- Pinkie Pie: "Sprinkles can't fix everything." [scoffs] Yeah, right!
- Rarity: To be quite frank, the most enjoyable part of the whole thing was freaking out beforehand! [laughs]
- [beat]
- Rarity: Because I did it with all of you.
- Pinkie Pie: Well, I'm glad you were able to stay in the moment, decide you weren't having fun, and go with the flow by hightailing it out of there.
- Rarity: And I'm glad I didn't steal your souffle recipe, jeopardizing your performance and our friendship. [laughs]
- Pinkie Pie: What?
- Rarity: Nothing! Love you!
- Mane Six: Awwwww!
- [credits]