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Episode Daring Don't
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Rainbow Dash: Four more months, four more months, four more months! I bet you're excited, huh?
Fluttershy: Oh, my. I, uh, I could be excited. I don't really know. I wasn't really think—
Rainbow Dash: Come on, you gotta be excited!
Fluttershy: Oh, well, I guess maybe I'm a little kinda sort of excited.
Rainbow Dash: I thought so!
Fluttershy: Yeah... so, um, why am I excited?
Rainbow Dash: Because the next Daring Do book is coming out exactly four months from today! That's how exciting it is! So what amazing, incredible, awesome adventure do you think Daring Do will have in her next book, huh?
Rainbow Dash: [voice over] Will she at long last stalk the Fortress of Talacon, only to be forced to contend with its dreaded and impenetrable arrow defense? And if so, could her skill, quick wits, and courage possibly carry the day? Or will her next adventure bring her face to face with the vast and horrible Ahuizotl himself?!
Ahuizotl: [roars]
Rainbow Dash: Would she cower, turn tail and run? Or would she fly at him, full bore, knowing full well against all odds that the greatest challenge she ever faced was still surely no match for—
Ahuizotl [with Fluttershy's voice]: [gasps] Look out!
[birds tweeting]
Fluttershy: Oh, I'm not so sure she's gonna last another four months...
[theme song]
Rainbow Dash: Three months and twenty six days, three months and twenty six days, three months and twenty six days! Heya, Twilight! Aren't you excited that—
Pinkie Pie: [blows party horn]
[party music playing]
Twilight Sparkle: So glad you've finally made it!
Rainbow Dash: What's everypony doing here?
Pinkie Pie: We're having a holiday party! [blows horn]
Rainbow Dash: So what holiday would today be?
Pinkie Pie: National Random Holiday Party Day! Woo-hoo!
Rarity: I've never heard of it either. [sips] But the punch is quite tasty.
Pinkie Pie: You might say the secret ingredient is... [whispering loudly] a secret! [squee]
Rainbow Dash: How come nopony bothered to invite me?
Applejack: I came to invite you personally, but it seems you were a speck too busy reading the last Daring Do book for the twelfth time.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, well, in three months and twenty six more days, I'll be able to read the next one.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, haven't you heard? The release of the next book got pushed another two months.
Rainbow Dash: [spit-take] Two more months?! I've been waiting so long already! I don't think I can take another two months! I'll never make it!
Fluttershy: Yeah. I can vouch for that...
Rainbow Dash: Did they give a reason?
Twilight Sparkle: The publisher just said author A.K. Yearling won't be able to finish the book for another two months. Cupcakes?
Rainbow Dash: [growls] How could you possibly know that before me? I'm the series' biggest fan!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm just as big a fan as you! In fact, I'm the one who first introduced you to the books, remember?
Rainbow Dash: Oh. Right.
Twilight Sparkle: A.K. Yearling just might be my favorite author. I know everything about her. Where she grew up, where she studied literature, where she wrote the first Daring Do book...
Rainbow Dash: Where she lives?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh... no, though I could probably find out somehow. Why?
Rainbow Dash: Don't you get it? The new book is obviously delayed because she needs help dealing with whatever everyday nonsense is distracting her from spending her every living breathing second writing so I— I mean, fans like me, can get to read the new book ASAP! Think about it! We could help her with her laundry, buy her groceries, cooking her meals, whatever! Now, who wouldn't appreciate that?
Twilight Sparkle: Hmm, I don't know... what she probably wants most of all is respect for her privacy.
Rainbow Dash: She can always just say no.
Twilight Sparkle: Mmh... I suppose you're right...
Rainbow Dash: Of course I am. So... how's about getting that address?
Twilight Sparkle: You see what I mean? Why would she live in this remote part of Equestria except to keep folks from intruding on her privacy? We should respec—
Rainbow Dash: I think I spotted the house! We're super close! This way!
Twilight Sparkle: Wait! Oh no. What happened?
Rainbow Dash: Apparently somepony has intruded on her privacy pretty hard already...
Applejack: Hoo-wee, somepony really trashed this place.
Pinkie Pie: Hmm... maybe... or maybe A.K. Yearling's just a terrible, horrible, unbelievable slob!
Rarity: I hope A.K. Yearling's alright!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh no! What if something terrible happened to her?
Rainbow Dash: I know! There might be no more books! Uh... but, of course, I'd be worried about her, too. Heh.
A.K. Yearling: What are you all doing here?
Rainbow Dash: Uh... A... K-K... Yearling...? [squee]
Twilight Sparkle: We didn't do this! We swear!
A.K. Yearling: What have you done to my house?
Applejack: We didn't do this, Ms. Yearling— whoa!
Twilight Sparkle: We're awfully glad to see you're alright.
Rainbow Dash: [whistles] Okay, clearly this isn't the best time, but I've just gotta say how much we all really love your books... [laughs nervously]
A.K. Yearling: [sighs] It's safe.
Rainbow Dash: Great! Maybe now would be a good time for me to ask her how we can help move the new book along a little faster. Chop chop!
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash, a minute please! A.K. Yearling has made it pretty clear that she wants to be left alone. We need to respect her wishes!
Pinkie Pie: You should tell that to those guys.
Henchponies: [exclamations]
Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle: A.K. Yearling is Daring Do!
Twilight Sparkle: A.K. Yearling and Daring Do are one and the same! My mind is officially blown!
Rainbow Dash: Aw, come on, I knew it all along.
[ring clanking]
Henchponies: [exclamations]
Applejack: Amazing!
Rarity: Incredible!
Pinkie Pie: Wow! So much action! Whee!
Rainbow Dash: Daring Do!
[ring settling]
Dr. Caballeron: Many thanks, Daring Do. As you've probably surmised, our earlier search for this treasure was... unsuccessful. So kind of you to find it for us.
Daring Do: [grunting] Give it back, Caballeron!
Dr. Caballeron: That's Doctor Caballeron to you.
Rainbow Dash: [hushed] He's from book four: Daring Do and the Razor of Dreams. He wanted to partner with Daring Do on her adventures.
Twilight Sparkle: I know, but she refused! I can't believe it! The real Daring Do and the real Caballeron!
Daring Do: So let me guess: Ahuizotl has put you up to this? You're stealing the ring to give to him so his hold on the Fortress of Talacon will be good for eight centuries as foretold by prophecy!
Dr. Caballeron: Close, but... no. I'm going to sell this to him, make a bundle, and retire from archaeology in splendor.
Daring Do: [grunting] Caballeron, you fool! You're dooming the valley to eight centuries of unrelenting heat!
Dr. Caballeron: To market, henchponies!
Daring Do: [grunting]
Fluttershy: Uh... should we go in and help her, maybe?
Main cast sans Fluttershy: Oh, right.
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] Are you okay?
Daring Do: I got this.
Fluttershy: Um, she was just trying to help, Ms. Do.
Daring Do: Daring Do doesn't need help. She handles her business herself.
Rainbow Dash: We've gotta go help!
Twilight Sparkle: You heard her! She says she works alone!
Rainbow Dash: How can we just stand by and do nothing? You know what's at stake here! Ahuizotl has sought control of the Tenochtitlan Basin since book three!
Twilight Sparkle: True, but in book four, she defeated Ahuizotl and secured control of the Amulet of Atonement, dispelling the dark magic of the Ketztwctl Empress, and thus protecting the basin with the Radiant Shield of Razdon!
Rainbow Dash: But the Radiant Shield of Razdon is vulnerable to the dark enchantment of the Rings of Scorchero!
Twilight Sparkle: But are you forgetting that the Rings were scattered to the four corners of Tenochtitlan, thus rendering the dark enchantment powerless?
Rainbow Dash: Only if you assume that the Rings have yet to be retrieved, and the ring Caballeron just stole isn't the last to completely restore the dark tower and its cruel hold on Tenochtitlan! Did you ever think of that?!
Pinkie Pie: You gotta admit, Rainbow Dash makes a pretty good point.
Rainbow Dash: We gotta help Daring Do retrieve the ring for safekeeping before it's too late!
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Okay, but sounds to me like we're in way, way, way over our heads. We're going to need a carefully thought out plan...
Rainbow Dash: I'm coming, Daring Do!
Twilight Sparkle: That's not a plan!
Rainbow Dash: Come on, come on, come on... bingo! Here I come, Daring Do! To join an adventure with the greatest, bravest, coolest, most incredible hero I could ever– [whimpers] Okay, maybe I just need a sec... just another adventure. No big deal. [smack] Get a grip! I got this. Though, doing it alongside Daring Do... wow! Maybe I could get my picture taken with her, or an autograph– [smack] There you go again. She's just a pony like any other pony. A pony who stops entire armies of bad guys with nothing more than her bare hooves, and an attitude, and—! [smack] Ow... that's starting to hurt.
Daring Do: [grunts]
Rainbow Dash: Yow! Stop!
Daring Do: Oh, it's just you.
Rainbow Dash: Wait, don't go! [to herself] Think fast. This is your big chance to impress her with your quick wit and courage. [to Daring Do, nervously] I am suuuuuch a huge fan. [laughs nervously]
Daring Do: [sighs]
Rainbow Dash: Wait, wait, wait! Let me help you! I promise I could be a huge, huge help if you just give me a chance.
Daring Do: I. Work. Alone.
Rainbow Dash: But why won't you let me team up with you just this once?!
Daring Do: My work always involves secrets. And since you never know who you can trust, it's best never to trust anypony.
Rainbow Dash: But just because you can't trust some, doesn't mean nopony can be trusted!
Daring Do: Look, I don't have time to argue—
Rainbow Dash: Neither do I. Let's go!
Daring Do: [sighs] [under her breath] Can't believe I'm even talking to her...
[bushes rustling]
Rainbow Dash: Looks like they decided to have an early dinner before making their way back down the hill to the marketplace in town.
[digging noise]
Rainbow Dash: Oh, I see. You're gonna ambush them like in book four at the Horavian caves! Or maybe, that neat trick you did in book three, where you swoop in and knock three guys down with one swing! Or maybe— [hushed] Okay. I'll be quiet now. Just watching very quietly, heh. Shh. So, what kind of ambush are you gonna use then?
[bits jingling]
Rainbow Dash: Wow!
[chewing noises]
[bits jingling]
Daring Do: [gravely voice] I have been led to believe you have in your possession an item of significant importance that might be... for sale.
Dr. Caballeron: Oh, uh, well... I did have another buyer lined up, but he's not here, so... sounds like we have a deal.
Ahuizotl: [roars] Caballeron!
Daring Do: Ahuizotl!
Ahuizotl: The ring!
Dr. Caballeron: [gasps]
[ring clanking]
Ahuizotl: [roars]
Rainbow Dash: Be cool, Rainbow Dash, be cool... she's got this!
Ahuizotl: The ring, Daring Do! Give it to me!
Daring Do: Now, Ahuizotl, you know I love you, but I can't give you the ring 'til I've properly proposed.
Ahuizotl: [laughs] Interesting, because my friends here have a proposal of their own. [fingers click]
[big cats and kitten growling]
Daring Do: Bring it!
[big cats growling, punching noises, Daring Do grunting, etc.]
Rainbow Dash: Come on, Daring Do, come on...
[Wilhelm scream]
Rainbow Dash: Daring Do! I've got your hat! You want me to toss it? Daring Do! Daring Do!
Daring Do: [grunting]
Rainbow Dash: Whoa! [yelps]
[cats yowling]
Daring Do: [grunting]
Rainbow Dash: Don't worry, Daring Do! I'll come help you! Whoa! Ow.
Daring Do: Don't bother! I'd say you've already helped plenty.
Rainbow Dash: What have I done?
Rarity: [gasps] Thank goodness you're alright!
Twilight Sparkle: Quick, where does it hurt?
Rainbow Dash: In here. Daring Do and the ring have been captured by the dreaded Ahuizotl, and it's all my fault.
Rest of main cast: [gasps]
Twilight Sparkle: Dash, I'm sure whatever you did was an honest mistake.
Rainbow Dash: Whatever. Let's just go home.
Applejack: We can't go back now! Looks a mite like she needs our help more than ever!
Rainbow Dash: Trying to help is how I got in this mess in the first place. You were right, Twilight. We should've stayed out of this.
Twilight Sparkle: Look, there is more going on here than meets the eye. In every Daring Do book, there always is! We can't turn our backs on her!
Rainbow Dash: She doesn't want my help, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: Perhaps. But she might need it anyway.
Rainbow Dash: No. My hero's way better off without me.
Applejack: This don't sound like you.
Pinkie Pie: Where's the Rainbow Dash who would help anypony at the drop of a hat?
Rarity: Or pith helmet, as the case may be.
Rainbow Dash: She's here where she's got no business being. She should be at home.
Twilight Sparkle: It's fine to look up to Daring Do, but you've put her so high up on a pedestal, you can't even see your own worth anymore! She's in the fortress, and we're here, and we wouldn't be who we are if we didn't go in after her! And neither would you! So, are you with us, or not?
[underwater sounds]
Daring Do: Surrender now, Ahuizotl, or I'll be forced to take you down! [grunts]
Ahuizotl: [laughs] Oh, Daring Do, I will so miss your amusing laughter-jokes. Now, I must leave to commence the ring-placing ceremony to unleash eight hundred years of unrelenting, sweltering heat!
[water thundering]
Ahuizotl: [laughs]
Daring Do: [sounds of exertion]
[piranha jaws snapping]
Daring Do: [sounds of exertion]
Rainbow Dash: Gotcha! [grunts] You can flap too, y'know!
[crushing rocks]
Daring Do: I was just about to save myself, y'know.
Rainbow Dash: Of course. I just thought you might need this.
Daring Do: Have I mentioned yet that I work alone?
Rainbow Dash: Have I mentioned yet that you're lucky I don't?
Daring Do: [sighs]
[rhythmic thudding]
Ahuizotl: [laughs]
Applejack: Drop the ring, Ahui... whatever your name is!
Ahuizotl: Hmph, place the ring, quickly! Get it!
[thuds, ring clanking, etc.]
Daring Do: Come with me! Help me get all these rings off!
Rainbow Dash: [straining noises]
[rings clinking]
Daring Do: [panting] If we can remove the giant ring at the bottom, the whole fortress will collapse!
Rainbow Dash: W-Was this your plan all along?
Daring Do: I had to find a way to get into the fortress.
Rainbow Dash: You did it on purpose?! But– but I thought—
Daring Do: I didn't count on how heavy this ring would be, though... guess having a little help can be handy sometimes.
Ahuizotl: [laughs]
Ahuizotl: Stop her!
Daring Do: [straining noises] You can flap too, y'know!
Rainbow Dash: [straining noises] Ponies! Run! This place is goin' down!
[Wilhelm scream]
[rumbling, crumbling]
Ahuizotl: Daring Do! I will have my revenge!
Daring Do: Could never have done this without you, Rainbow Dash. I've got a book to finish!
Rainbow Dash: Just had the coolest adventure with the coolest pony ever. Came this close to blowing it because I got so wrapped up in how awesome she was, I almost forgot about how awesome I was. Good thing I didn't, 'cause it gave me a chance to show her how important it is to put your trust in somepony else.
Messenger Pony: Package from A.K. Yearling.
Rainbow Dash: Sweet! The new book a week before anypony else gets it! [gasps] Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!