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Episode Deep Tissue Memories
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Rainbow Dash: So all I need to do is get Twilight to talk about a couple of memories?
Spike: Twilight's so busy, the spa's the only place we could think of where you could "run into her".
Starlight Glimmer: Thanks again for agreeing to this. I know this place isn't exactly your kind of thing.
Rainbow Dash: It sure isn't! But, you know, it's for Twilight, so I'm willing to suffer through anything.
[door opens]
Lotus Blossom: Ah, Rainbow Dash! So good to see you again!
Aloe: Would you like your usual suite of treatments?
Rainbow Dash: [laughs nervously]
[theme song]
[door opens]
[door closes]
Lotus Blossom: [gasps] Princess Twilight Sparkle! It has always been such a pleasure to serve the Princess of Friendship, but now you will be the ruler of all Equestria!
Twilight Sparkle: And getting ready for the coronation is pretty hectic. I need some time for myself. Becoming a ruler is exhausting.
Rainbow Dash: Tell me about it! I choreographed a whole routine for the coronation and led the Wonderbolts through it today. It really took it out of me. I can't imagine leading everypony in Equestria.
Twilight Sparkle: Hey, Rainbow Dash. I didn't realize you came to the spa after practice.
Rainbow Dash: Heh. All the time! Y-You know, for... for the deep tissue sports massage. It really helps with the sore muscles and flexibility. [grunts]
Twilight Sparkle: [laughs] Well, if you're here, I believe it.
[pages flipping]
Rainbow Dash: So when do you think you realized just how athletic I was?
Twilight Sparkle: Um, the first moment we met.
Spike: Hmm, there's supposed to be a Pegasus pony named Rainbow Dash clearing the clouds.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, she's not doing a very good job, is she?
Twilight Sparkle: Nng.
Rainbow Dash: [sheepish laughter] Uh, 'scuse me? [more sheepish laughter]
Twilight Sparkle: Nnnn.
Rainbow Dash: [laughter] Lemme help you.
[rushing water]
Rainbow Dash: [more sheepish laughter] Oops, I guess I overdid it. Um, uh, how about this? My very own patented Rain-Blow Dry! No no. Don't thank me. You're quite welcome. [bursts out laughing]
Spike: [bursts out laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: Let me guess. You're Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash: The one and only. Why, you heard of me?
Twilight Sparkle: I heard you were supposed to be keeping the sky clear. [sigh] I'm Twilight Sparkle, and the Princess sent me to check on the weather.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, yeah, that'll be a snap. I'll do it in a jiffy. Just as soon as I'm done practicing.
Twilight Sparkle: Practicing for what?
Rainbow Dash: The Wonderbolts! They're gonna perform at the Celebration tomorrow, and I'm gonna show 'em my stuff!
Twilight Sparkle: The Wonderbolts?
Rainbow Dash: Yep!
Twilight Sparkle: The most talented flyers in all of Equestria?
Rainbow Dash: That's them!
Twilight Sparkle: Pfft! Please. They'd never accept a Pegasus who can't even keep the sky clear for one measly day.
Rainbow Dash: Hey, I could clear this sky in ten seconds flat.
Twilight Sparkle: Prove it.
Rainbow Dash: Yup. [sighs] I've been a sporty pony my whoooole life. So I have to come to the spa a lot because, um... sports!
Twilight Sparkle: Come on, Dash. You don't have to pretend you don't like frilly spa treatments. Everypony knows you're an athlete, but it's not exactly a secret you like to be pampered, too.
Rarity: [gasps] Rainbow Dash! What are you doing here?!
Applejack and Rarity: [giggle]
Applejack: Yeah. I didn't think spa treatments were your thing exactly.
Rainbow Dash: What?!
[robe and slippers thud]
Rainbow Dash: Oh, they're totally not. At least, not the froufrou kind.
Rarity: Ah.
Applejack: Huh.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I, uh, I think I tweaked something at Wonderbolts practice the other day. I just came in for a deep tissue sports massage.
"Lavender Essence": Ah, Miss Dash, I am so sorry, but we are running just a tad behind, and we are not quite ready to start your pampered muscle massage and indulgent hooficure just yet.
Rainbow Dash: Oh! [chuckles nervously] I-I'm pretty sure that wasn't what I signed up for.
"Lavender Essence": But they are your usual.
Rainbow Dash: And it seems like you're really busy today anyway! I'll just come back tomorrow. [to Rarity and Applejack] Uh, see you two later! Have fun! [to Lavender Essence, whispered] But put me down for the same thing.
Rainbow Dash: So, Applejack and Rarity told you about that, huh?
Twilight Sparkle: And there's nothing wrong with it. In fact, you should enjoy your indulgent hooficure.
Rainbow Dash: I suppose it's okay to like different kinds of things.
Twilight Sparkle: Exactly. I'm not only a princess, and you're not only an athlete. Think of all the non-sports things you're into.
Doctor Horse: Rainbow Dash, what in the world is going on? Why are you stealing slippers?
Screwy: [barking]
Night Watch: Hey, get back to the hospital!
Applejack: What's all the ruckus?
Pinkie Pie: Mmm, I'd say it's more of a fracas than a ruckus.
Twilight Sparkle: What's going on, Rainbow Dash?
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] I'm an egghead.
Rarity: Pardon?
Rainbow Dash: See, I was trying to get back into the hospital to finish the last chapter of—
Twilight Sparkle: —'Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Statue'!
Rainbow Dash: You got me.
Twilight Sparkle: Wow, I knew the book was good, but I didn't know it could drive a pony to petty theft!
Rainbow Dash: Good? Try awesomely amazing. That book is undeniably, unquestionably, un-put-down-able! But then I had to put it down; I was sent home before I could finish it.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, I'm glad that's all this is about.
Applejack: There's no reason to go around causin' a ruckus—
Pinkie Pie: Fracas!
Applejack: ...causin' a fracas just because you like to read.
Rarity: Ooo. [sniffs] [sneezing]
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash: [laugh]
Pinkie Pie: Aaa-choooo!
[liquid pouring]
Twilight Sparkle: Hmm?
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash: [laugh]
Applejack: [gasp] Land sakes!
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash: [chuckle]
[water splash]
Applejack: [chuckles]
Rainbow Dash: I don't know...
Twilight Sparkle: Liking a bit of pampering doesn't make you any less of an athlete or anything else.
Rainbow Dash: You're right. What do you say we do hooficures and get pampered together?
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks, but I've been looking forward to a little alone time to decompress, and the Ponyville Day Spa has just the thing. Maybe next time.
Starlight Glimmer: We don't have anywhere near enough memories for your section of the book!
Spike: Sorry, Dash.
Rainbow Dash: [groans]
[water flowing]
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]
Rainbow Dash: You were right!
Twilight Sparkle: [yelps]
Rainbow Dash: This decompression thing is great!
Twilight Sparkle: It is pretty relaxing. Or it was.
Rainbow Dash: Yup. But you know what really gets me relaxed? Thinking about times when I was totally awesome!
Gilda and Rainbow Dash: [laughing]
[stopwatch ticking]
Applejack: [chewing]
Official: Ponyville qualifies!
[crowd cheering]
Rainbow Dash: It's time to stop wasting time! I'm going in!
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow, no!
Rainbow Dash: Get! Out! [smack]
Razer: [sneezes]
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe that's relaxing for you. But for me, it's quieter, emotional moments that really do the trick. Can you think of any of those?
Rarity: The poor thing looks so sad! Just what are we doing to do?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know what we can do.
Applejack: Buck up, Sugarcube. You just ain't yourself these days.
Rainbow Dash: [despondently] Whatever...
Rarity: Uh, how can I say this tactfully...? You've lost your sparkle, Rainbow Dash.
Pinkie Pie: I hate to say this, but, well... you've become...! [hushed] A party pooper!
Rainbow Dash: Didn't you hear me? I said 'whatever'. I don't know if you're here to cheer me up or what, but I'm fine.
Fluttershy: Let me handle this. Rainbow Dash, your winter is going to be pet-less.
Rainbow Dash: [sobbing]
Rarity: Whatever did you do that for?!
Fluttershy: Because she'll never get past this until she lets it all out.
Rainbow Dash: [more sobbing]
Rainbow Dash: Hmm... I mean, that's emotional, sure, but how is it relaxing? No offense. Quiet moments are great, but not as great as being epic!
Rarity: [panting] Look upon me, Equestria, for I... am... Rarity!
[crowd oohs]
Rarity: Uh-oh. [screams]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, no! Her wings evaporated into thin air!
Rarity: [screams]
Misty Fly: Ooh!
Soarin: Aah!
Spitfire: Uuh!
Rarity: [continues screaming]
Rainbow Dash: Hold on, Rarity! I'm coming!
Rarity: [more screaming]
Fluttershy: Oh, I can't look!
Rarity: [gasp]
Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and Twilight Sparkle: [gasp]
Rainbow Dash: [grunts]
Fluttershy: A sonic rainboom! She did it! She did it! Wooo!
Rainbow Dash: Whoa.
[crowd cheering]
Rainbow Dash: Hey, where are you going? I can think of a ton more epic relaxing moments!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sure you can, but right now I think I need to relax in my own quiet way.
Spike: We still need a few more. What are the chances you can get Twilight to remember stuff in her own quiet way?
Rainbow Dash: Ugh!
Twilight Sparkle: Wow. I guess you don't realize how much tension you hold in your flank. Ooh. Oh, yeah. This is exactly what I needed. I love Rainbow Dash, but sometimes she can be a little much.
Scootaloo: I hope this works.
[crowd cheering]
[storm cloud crackling]
Rainbow Dash: [yelps]
[storm cloud crackling]
[leaves being dislodged]
Rainbow Dash: [multiple yelps]
Crowd: [gasps]
Rainbow Dash: [grunts, screams]
Rainbow Dash: [grunts, screams]
[downed fighter plane engine noise]
Pinkie Pie: Hope I'm not too late. [scoffs] I dunno what took that pony so long.
Rainbow Dash: [screams]
Rainbow Dash: [groans]
Pinkie Pie: That was amazing!
Spitfire: Way to go, Rainbow Crash.
[polka music]
[skunk sprays]
Rainbow Dash: [laughs] Gotcha!
[music continues]
Spike: [blows fire]
Spike: [blows fire]
Spike: [blows fire]
Spike: [blows fire]
Spike: [blows fire]
[loud thud]
Rainbow Dash: Gotcha!
Rainbow Dash: Gotcha!
Twilight Sparkle: Ooh! Ow! Uh... maybe not quite so hard. [sighs] That's better. Dash might be a hoofful sometimes, but she's the most loyal friend in Equestria.
Twilight Sparkle: Even with Rainbow Dash's replacement, I don't think we're gonna qualify. No offense.
Pinkie Pie: Gah! What am I gonna do with all these now?!
Applejack: Uh, what were you gonna do with them before?
Rarity: [sighs] Maybe my Equestria Games uniforms will still be in style next year. I mean, I am pretty fashion-forward.
Twilight Sparkle: Is that Rainbow Dash... walking?
Spitfire: [drinking water]
Fleetfoot: Does... this mean you're feeling better?
Rainbow Dash: I-I feel great, because... I was never hurt in the first place.
Wonderbolts: [gasps]
Bulk Biceps, Fluttershy and Derpy: [gasps]
Rainbow Dash: I faked my injury so that I wouldn't have to choose between flying for Ponyville or Cloudsdale. I wanted to fly with you both, and the decision was too hard!
Fluttershy: Oh, Rainbow Dash, you don't have to choose us. I know you love to win, and you should go with the team that surely will.
Rainbow Dash: I know now who I should've been loyal to.
Spitfire: Good choice. Always stick with the winners.
Rainbow Dash: Ponyville. Because it's not just where I live, but it's where my friends are. The ponies who really care about me, whether I can help them win a race or not.
Rest of main cast and Derpy: [cheering]
Shadowbolt Leader: We want you to join us, the Shadowbolts. We're the greatest aerial team in the Everfree Forest, and soon we will be the greatest in all Equestria, but first, we need a captain. The most magnificent...
Rainbow Dash: Yep.
Shadowbolt Leader: ...swiftest...
Rainbow Dash: Yes.
Shadowbolt Leader: ...bravest flyer in all the land.
Rainbow Dash: Yes. [chuckles] It's all true.
Shadowbolt Leader: We need... you.
Rainbow Dash: WOO-HOO! Sign me up. Just let me tie this bridge real quick and then we have a deal.
Shadowbolt Leader: No! It's them or us.
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow, what's taking so long? Oh, no. Rainbow! [muffled] Don't listen to them!
Shadowbolt Leader: Well?
Rainbow Dash: You... Thank you for the offer, I mean. But I'm afraid I have to say no.
Main cast sans Rainbow: [cheering]
Twilight Sparkle: Good job, Rainbow!
Rainbow Dash: See? I'd never leave my friends hangin'.
Twilight Sparkle: It's pretty hard not to love a loyal friend like that.
Rainbow Dash: [crying]
Twilight Sparkle: Are you okay?
Rainbow Dash: [sobs] I-I'm fine, but... I love you, too! [sniffles] I'm sorry, Twilight, but once we got started reminiscing, I guess I just didn't want to stop.
Twilight Sparkle: We have had some pretty great times together.
Rainbow Dash: You gotta really flap 'em hard.
Twilight Sparkle: [grunts] Whoa!
Rainbow Dash: Uh, maybe not quite that hard.
Twilight Sparkle: Whoa! Oof!
Applejack: Lookin' good up there, Princess Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, you know you don't have to call me that.
Rarity: Why do you protest so? You've already given up wearing your crown all the time. The least you can do is embrace your new title.
Twilight Sparkle: If other ponies want to address me that way, I suppose it's fine, but... not my friends. It just doesn't feel right. [sigh] And neither does all this flying business. The Summer Sun Celebration is only two days away, and I'm never gonna be ready to perform my part.
Rainbow Dash: Not if you spend all your time down here, you won't! Now get up there and show everypony the big finish!
Main cast sans Twilight: [cheering]
Twilight Sparkle: Woo-hoo! Whaaaa! Oof! Oof! [coughs] [screams]
Pinkie Pie: Wow! That was a big finish!
Twilight Sparkle: [groans]
Rainbow Dash: You guys were amazing!
School of Friendship Team: [groans]
Rainbow Dash: It was flawless. I can't think of any way that could've been better!
Smolder: We could have won the game.
Rainbow Dash: [scoffs] The game was just a sideshow. You guys were the main event!
Princess Celestia: I'm glad to see such good sportsponyship on display. Your cheer squad was an inspiration, Rainbow Dash. I'll have to start one at my school as well.
Twilight Sparkle: Wow, Rainbow Dash! It's almost like you were the perfect pony to coach cheer squad after all!
Rainbow Dash: Wait a second. Was this one of those things where you knew the lesson I needed to learn before I learnt it?
Twilight Sparkle: You mean like how you don't have to care about a thing other ponies like as long as you care about the ponies who like it? Nope. Don't know what you're talking about.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh!
Princess Celestia: Nicely done.
All: [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: Well, this hasn't exactly been the relaxing spa day I was expecting, but it was pretty great all the same.
Rainbow Dash: And it's good to know I can always fall back on a career as a spa pony if the Wonderbolts don't work out.
Twilight Sparkle: [laughs] I wouldn't go that far.
[pages flipping]
Rainbow Dash: [forced laughter] Yeah! But... but seriously.
Rainbow Dash: Whew!