Transcripts/Game Knight; Director Spike's Mockumentary

Game Knight; Director Spike's Mockumentary

Transcript
Episode	Game Knight; Director Spike's Mockumentary
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[theme song]

Game Knight

Rarity: [gasps] What a glorious day. It felt like the sunshine was set to perfection.

Pinkie Pie: I wish it could last forever.

Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]

Rainbow Dash: I'll just take one last whiff of that fresh air before—

[wind whistles]

[door closes]

[thud]

Applejack: Uh, am I crazy, or did the temperature just drop a few degrees?

Pinkie Pie: Ponyville looks like a horse-sicle!

Fluttershy: Twilight, this doesn't have anything to do with the weather-controlling machine you've been working on, does it?

Twilight Sparkle: Nope! Not at all! [nervous laugh] But since it looks like we're all iced in here for a while, why not have a game night?

Rarity: Ooh, we haven't had a game night in ages! Let's play Perfect Pitch-tionary! We just need a dictionary, a tuning fork, and a croque monsieur!

Twilight Sparkle: What's the fancy sandwich for?

Rarity: Me, darling! I'm starving! Okay, so what about—?

Applejack: One-Eyed Bugbear?

Rainbow Dash: Cannonball in the Creek?

Twilight Sparkle: But we've played them all before. Don't worry. I've got just the game for such a random occasion.

Rest of Mane Six: Ooh...

Twilight Sparkle: I invite you all to play my own original game that I invented – The Tails of Canterlot!

[poof!]

[thud]

Twilight Sparkle: Hold for applause.

Rainbow Dash: Are there instructions inside?

Twilight Sparkle: Oh, no. The rule book comes separately.

Rest of Mane Six: [worried sound]

[loud thud]

Rest of Mane Six: [sigh]

Applejack: All one thousand, one hundred, and forty pages of it?

Rarity: Allow me. My dramatic readings have been known to add much needed flair to any book. [reading] "Tails of Canterlot is a fast-paced role-playing adventure that can be experienced over one long weekend or several. It is a world made up of over eight hundred classes and species."

[roar]

Rainbow Dash: This is detailed. Even for Twilight.

Rarity: Hmmm, yes. Let's skip ahead. Oh, here we are. [reading] "From here, you spend six hours speaking in front of the Council of Elders to earn your knighthood." Six hours?!

Twilight Sparkle: You think it's easy to be a knight? Ooooh, you're gonna want to flip to page 402 for the backstory on that!

Rest of Mane Six: [sigh]

Applejack: Uh, maybe I should go check and see if the ice has melted yet.

[zip!]

[door opens]

[wind whistles]

[door closes]

[zip!]

Applejack: D-Do you have any salt?

Twilight Sparkle: We're getting to the best part – "How to Understand the Lore".

Rest of Mane Six: [groan]

Rainbow Dash: No offense, but the lore-ing is a little boring. Can't we just play?

Twilight Sparkle: Right. I guess I can show you what's in the box.

Rest of Mane Six: Ooh!

Fluttershy: These are cute. There's one to represent each of us. [gasps] This one could be Rarity!

Twilight Sparkle: Eh, technically, those are for dungeon-looting. Oh! Those are building tiles. Don't mix them up!

Pinkie Pie: What if we each pick one at random and just build whatever we want?

Twilight Sparkle: You have to be a Level 18 Architect to build things. And even then, it has to be approved by the Council!

Applejack: Hey! We can recreate the apple orchard!

Twilight Sparkle: But there's already a Forest of Pears and Peril!

Rest of Mane Six: [laughing]

Rarity: Uh, I am no Game Master, but I've trimmed down the rules. Do you want to give it a little 'boo when you have a mo'?

Twilight Sparkle: Trimming... down... rules?! [growls] FORGET IT! Game night's over! EVERYPONY, OUTSIDE!

Applejack: But we're snowed in.

[beeping]

Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie: [gasp]

Fluttershy: I knew it! Your weather machine!

Twilight Sparkle: Yes. Oh, yes. I used my patent-pending "Weatherator" to ice us in here for a cozy game night.

[beep]

Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie: [gasp]

Twilight Sparkle: So take your perfect weather and go outside and we never have to play my game EVER AGAIN!

Rest of Mane Six: Awww...

Applejack: Is this about our changes to the game?

Pinkie Pie: We just wanted to make it the best one ever!

Rarity: Darling, while I appreciate the drama, I feel we're ignoring your dominion over the weather and the fact that you're using it willy-nilly.

[beep]

Pinkie Pie: Twilight, you don't have to storm off—

[thunder]

Pinkie Pie: [laughs] I get it. Weather machine.

Rainbow Dash: Should we go after her?

[door slams]

Rest of Mane Six: Awww...

Rest of Mane Six: [laughing and grunting]

Pinkie Pie: [squeals]

Rainbow Dash: Joust! Joust!

Twilight Sparkle: They're... still playing my game? I thought you didn't like it.

Rarity: The rules might be a bit...

Rainbow Dash: Uh, detailed?

Pinkie Pie: Specific?

Applejack: Overwhelmin'?

Rarity: ...much. But once you get to the heart of it, you've created an amazing game.

Twilight Sparkle: I did?

Fluttershy: Now we need your help to storm the castle and get to the tower.

Twilight Sparkle: Well, we're supposed to roll this twenty-sided die forty-seven times. But I'm open to suggestions.

Rest of Mane Six: [cheer]

[beep]

Twilight Sparkle: For Canterlot!

Rest of Mane Six: For Canterlot!

Mane Six: [laughing]

[thunder]

Director Spike's Mockumentary

Mane Six: [laughing]

[splatting]

[whooshing]

[splatting]

Pinkie Pie: Mm-mmm!

[door opens]

Spike: Hello, my pony friends! It's great to be back!

Mane Six: Huh?

Rarity: Um, forgive me, but... where were you?

Spike: Rarity! I was at my intensive week-long filmmaking workshop at E.C.C. My film-making class. I got my first assignment. And I'm really excited because... I get to make my first movie!

[beat]

[gems clatter]

Rarity: [sighs] Darling! You must make a grand romantic Ponywood epic with me as the star!

Spike: Uh, I was thinkin'—

Rainbow Dash: Ooh-ooh-ooh! You should do an action movie!

[motorcycle revving]

Spike: [chuckles] Hang on, 'cause I actually—

Applejack: Yee-haw! A Western would be best!

Spike: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense, Applejack—

Fluttershy: Ooh! We could record nature footage!

Pinkie Pie: Let's do a musical about six pony best frieeeeends!

Twilight Sparkle: Or a sci-fi saga! In block letters – "The Day Before Tomorrow"! We open on yesterday—

Spike: Wait! I've got other plans! I want to do a documentary about what life in Sugarcube Corner is really like. And I want you ponies in it!

Mane Six: [cheer]

Spike: I want a real slice-of-life, okay? Do what you do. Pretend like I'm not even here.

Twilight Sparkle: Okaaaay. [stilted] I was... frosting these cakes. Right, Rainbow Dash?

Rainbow Dash: Yes! You were! [stilted] And I was finishing... a batch... of... frosting?

Spike: Remember. Documentaries are natural. Just be yourselves.

Fluttershy: [whimpers] I'm suddenly very aware of my hooves! What do I normally do with them?!

[splat]

[zip!]

Rarity: Why, Rarity, I know how to be natural on camera. I'm just being me – the real, unvarnished Rarity!

[beat]

Spike: Ooookay, Rarity. Uh, maybe if you just—

[Rarity]

They call me R-A-R-I-T-Y

I'm the finest filly, and that's no lie

I'm Rar—!

Applejack: [groans]

[buzzing]

Applejack: These fillies have no idea what they're doin'.

Spike: [groans] I think we need to try something a little different.

Spike: Okay. If you would just sit here and speak your mind about each other in a way you'd naturally talk about a friend to another friend.

Twilight Sparkle: Um, hello, friend. I, uh... You are my friend, camera. And I love you.

Spike: Cut! I just... Ugh. No more addressing the camera, okay? Rarity.

[Rarity]

R-A-R-I-T-Y—!

Spike: Next!

Rarity: Awww...

Spike: Uh, you can, uh, tone down the hooves there, Fluttershy.

Fluttershy: I... I can't! I don't remember how to control them!

Spike: Just put them down on the ground.

Fluttershy: [whimpers] They have a mind of their ooooooown!

[crash]

Spike: That's it! Enough! If you guys can't be yourselves in front of my camera, I don't want to be behind it! I'm leaving!

Mane Six: Awwww...

[beep]

Pinkie Pie: I love you guys, and I love working here. But that just felt weird.

Fluttershy: [sighs] I'm just glad I know what to do with my hooves again.

Pinkie Pie and Rarity: [yell]

Rarity: [coughs]

Pinkie Pie: [groans, laughs]

Mane Six: [laugh]

Spike: Well, I'd be lying if I said this was a trot in the park. But I think you'll see that we captured a really authentic glimpse of the ponies "Behind the Counter". That's the title.

Applejack: I don't even know what he cut together. I feel like we gave him diddly-squat.

Spike: [narrating] Friendships like this only come around once in a while. And if you're lucky, you catch some moments when nopony else is watching.

Pinkie Pie: I didn't know he was filming then!

Mane Six: [laughing]

[splatting]

Rainbow Dash: [laughs] That was fun!

Rarity: Oh, look at the three of us working together!

Pinkie Pie and Rarity: [yell]

Rarity: [coughs]

Pinkie Pie: [groans, laughs]

Mane Six: [laugh]

[clang]

Mane Six: [cheer]

Pinkie Pie: That was really sweet, Spike. You got all the best moments when we didn't think we were being filmed. So what's next for you, Mr. Director?

Spike: I don't know. Maybe a sci-fi Western romance with a musical component.

Mane Six: [laugh]

Pinkie Pie: Now you're talkin'!

[credits]