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Episode Hearts and Hooves Day
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[indistinct chatter]
[school bell ringing]
Apple Bloom: Hmm... I just don't feel like it's quite finished.
Sweetie Belle: I know what you mean. If it's for Miss Cheerilee, it needs to be perfect. Hearts and Hooves Day only comes once a year, after all.
Scootaloo: I say we add a little more ribbon!
Sweetie Belle: Mm-hmm, yeah, yeah. And just a tiny bit more lace.
Apple Bloom: A few more hoof-prints.
Scootaloo: Glitter! It could definitely use just a little more glitter!
Apple Bloom: Now that'll show Miss Cheerilee how much we care about her. Just have to get it to the Hearts and Hooves party at school.
Scootaloo: I think we're gonna need a bigger envelope.
[theme song]
[indistinct chatter]
Diamond Tiara: I like the red ones.
Cheerilee: It's lovely. And so... big!
Apple Bloom: We just wanted to let you know that we think you're the best teacher in the whole wide world! And we think you're super! And that we love you so so much! And we want you to have the best Hearts and Hooves Day–
Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo: Ever!
Cheerilee: Thank you so much, girls. I love it. I really do.
Sweetie Belle: I'm sure it's nothing compared to the gifts you've gotten from your... very special somepony.
Cheerilee: Oh, I don't have a very special somepony at the moment.
Apple Bloom: Really?
Sweetie Belle: How could somepony as amazing as you not have a very special somepony on Hearts and Hooves Day?
Cheerilee: It's alright, Sweetie Belle. I have lots of good friends and wonderful students who care about me very much. I'm gonna have an absolutely terrific Hearts and Hooves Day. Alright, everypony, who's ready to play "Pin the Heart on the Pony"?
[ponies excitedly volunteer]
Apple Bloom: If anypony deserves a very special somepony, it's her.
Sweetie Belle: [gasp]
Apple Bloom: Uh, you all right?
Sweetie Belle: I'm more than all right. I've just come up with the best idea ever. We're gonna find Miss Cheerilee a very special somepony.
Apple Bloom: That is the best idea ever.
Sweetie Belle: [singsong voice] Tooold yooou!
Apple Bloom: So what are we waiting for? Hearts and Hooves Day is almost over! Let's get out there and find somepony special for Cheerilee already.
Sweetie Belle: Yeah!
Scootaloo: Let's do it!
Sweetie Belle: Now it can't be just anypony. Miss Cheerilee is one of the best mares in Ponyville. She deserves to have one of the best stallions as her very special somepony.
[Sweetie Belle]
Cheerilee is sweet and kind,
She's the best teacher we could hope for.
The perfect stallion you and I must find
One to really make her heart so-o-oar.
This one's too young,
This one's too old.
He clearly has a terrible cold.
"Hay Fever": Achoo!
[Apple Bloom]
This guy's too silly.
He's way too uptight.
"Persnickety": I say!
[Sweetie Belle]
Well nothing's wrong with this one,
He seems alright...
Scootaloo: His girlfriend sure thinks so.
[Sweetie Belle]
How 'bout this one?
[Apple Bloom]
He's much too flashy.
He might do!
[Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle]
If he weren't so splashy!
[Apple Bloom]
Too short.
[Sweetie Belle]
Too tall.
[Apple Bloom]
Too clean.
Too smelly.
[Sweetie Belle]
Too strangely obsessed with tubs of jelly.
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle: [sigh]
[Apple Bloom]
I don't think that we're mistaken,
It seems all the good ones are taken.
[Sweetie Belle]
I really feel that at this rate,
We'll never find the perfect date.
[Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle]
Don't wanna quit and give up hope!
Scootaloo: Doing anything special for Hearts and Hooves Day?
[Sweetie Belle]
Oh please, oh please oh please say—
Big McIntosh: Nope.
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle: [gasp]
[Sweetie Belle]
We did it girls,
We've found the one!
Who will send our teacher's heart aflutter!
Apple Bloom: Wait a minute. Lemme get this straight. Are you talkin' 'bout my brother?
Scootaloo: Sweetie Belle is right. Big McIntosh is the perfect match for Miss Cheerilee. He's really nice, super hard-working.
Apple Bloom: Hmm... but he's also pretty shy. He's never gonna ask Miss Cheerilee to be his very special somepony.
Sweetie Belle: Maybe he doesn't have to.
Apple Bloom: Huh?
Sweetie Belle: If we can get Big Mac and Miss Cheerilee in a really romantic setting, I bet she'll ask him.
Scootaloo: Sounds like a plan to me.
Apple Bloom: So? What are we waitin' for? Let's get out there and create the perfect date!
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle: Yay!
Sweetie Belle: Flowers. Don't forget the flowers.
Apple Bloom: Oops. I'm on it!
Scootaloo: [gasp] They're coming! This is gonna be perfect. Miss Cheerilee is gonna have the best Hearts and Hooves Day ever.
Sweetie Belle: With her new very special somepony.
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle: [giggling]
Cheerilee: Hi, girls.
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle: Hi, Miss Cheerilee.
Cheerilee: So you three said you needed help identifying a tree you found here near the gazebo? ...That's an apple tree.
Apple Bloom: Is it?
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle: [giggling]
Apple Bloom: Oh, sorry, big brother. We went and fixed up the gazebo all on our own. See?
Scootaloo: As long as you're here, why not have a bite to eat from this romantic-looking picnic? Oh gosh, seems like there's only room for two.
Apple Bloom: I guess we'll just be goin' then.
[gramophone playing]
Scootaloo: You really think this'll work?
Sweetie Belle: Of course it will work. They're perfect for each other.
Cheerilee: Beautiful day we're having.
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Cheerilee: Any big plans for tonight?
Big McIntosh: Nnnope.
Apple Bloom: Oh, come on, Miss Cheerilee, ask him to be your very special somepony.
Sweetie Belle: [gasp] Ohmigosh, look.
Cheerilee: Big Mac...
Big McIntosh: Eeyup?
Cheerilee: You have something stuck in your teeth.
[record scratch]
Sweetie Belle: Aw, come on!
[record plays erratically]
Cheerilee: Well this has been... strange.
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Cheerilee: I need to get going, but it's always great running into a good friend.
Big McIntosh: Yup.
Apple Bloom: [sigh] Do you think it just wasn't romantic enough?
Scootaloo: Maybe it was too romantic.
Sweetie Belle: [sigh] Either way, we failed.
Apple Bloom: [sigh] There's gotta be somethin' else we could– UGH!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh my goodness, I didn't even see you there. I'm so so sorry.
Apple Bloom: Aw, it's okay, Twilight. It was an accident.
Twilight Sparkle: I've just been reading the most fascinating book about Hearts and Hooves Day. Did you know that this holiday got its start because of a love potion?
Sweetie Belle: Did you say... a love potion?
Twilight Sparkle: That's right. It even has the recipe.
Sweetie Belle: I... don't suppose we could borrow that book for a little while, do ya?
Twilight Sparkle: Of course you can. I have another book here that I think you'll–
Sweetie Belle: [giggling] Take a tuft of cloud;
Scootaloo: [chomp]
Sweetie Belle: A bright rainbow's glow;
[vacuum noise]
[vacuum noise]
Sweetie Belle: Stir with a Pegasus feather–
Scootaloo: Hey!
Sweetie Belle: Fast, not slow.
Apple Bloom: Serve to two ponies who aren't in the know.
Apple Bloom: I feel kind of bad trickin' my brother and Miss Cheerilee this way.
Sweetie Belle: What's the problem? We all agreed these two are perfect for one another.
Scootaloo: Yeah, they just need a little nudge.
Sweetie Belle: And what could make them happier than being together, right?
Apple Bloom: Right!
Scootaloo: Oh, oh, here they come.
Apple Bloom: Hiya, Miss Cheerilee.
Cheerilee: Hello again, girls. Hello, Big Mac. Would you three like to tell us why it was so very important that we meet you here–
Sweetie Belle: Punch!
Cheerilee: Excuse me?
Sweetie Belle: Punch! We made punch. We were gonna set up a stand and try to sell it but, heh, we needed somepony to taste-test it first.
Apple Bloom: Yup.
Sweetie Belle: We thought you two would be perfect together. To test it. Together. So, uh, we'll just leave you two alone. Together, to test it. [giggling]
Cheerilee: I'm very sorry about this. I mentioned to the girls that I don't have a very special somepony, and I believe they're putting us in these awkward situations because they've decided it should be you.
Cheerilee and Big McIntosh: [chuckling]
Cheerilee: I suppose we should just humor them for a moment. This punch does look delicious.
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Sweetie Belle: I think they're gonna drink it.
Cheerilee: To good friends!
[glasses clink]
Scootaloo: They're drinking it. They're drinking it!
Big McIntosh and Cheerilee: [hiccup]
Scootaloo: They're looking into each other's eyes.
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle: [giggling] They're about to be in for a big surprise!
Cheerilee: Big Mac?
Big McIntosh: Yup?
Cheerilee: Will you be my very special somepony?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Sweetie Belle: YES!
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle: [singsong voice] He's her special somepony! She's his special somepony!
Cheerilee: He's my special somepony.
Big McIntosh: Eeeeeyup.
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle: Aww!
Cheerilee: He's my shmoopy-doopy sweetie-weetie pony pie.
Big McIntosh: You're my shmoopy-doopy sweetie-weetie pony pie.
Apple Bloom: Did he just say–
Cheerilee: You're my cutie-patootie lovie-dovie honey-bunny.
Big McIntosh: You're my heartie-smartie smoochie-woochie baby-waby.
Apple Bloom: Big Mac! Hey! Hello! What's going on?
Sweetie Belle: Miss Cheerilee, are you alright?
Cheerilee: I have a special somepony. A kissy-wissy snuggy-wuggy sugar bear.
Sweetie Belle: I think we may have given them too big of a nudge.
Big McIntosh: You're my cuddly-wuddly boopsie-woopsie pumpkin pie.
Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo: Eugh!!
Scootaloo: Ya think?
Apple Bloom: What have we done?! My brother's actin' like a grade-A goofball!
Sweetie Belle: Maybe we added too much rainbow.
Scootaloo: Or maybe not enough cloud.
Sweetie Belle: Or maybe... uh-oh.
Apple Bloom: Whaddaya mean, "uh-oh?!"
Sweetie Belle: We might not have given Big Mac and Miss Cheerilee a love potion. We may have given them a love poison.
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo: What?!
Sweetie Belle: Apparently, some prince a long time ago whipped up this recipe and gave it to this princess he liked. He meant it to be a love potion, but things didn't turn out so well.
Apple Bloom: How "not so well" did things turn out?
Sweetie Belle: Well, there's something here about a dragon, the kingdom falling, chaos reigning... Okay, apparently it was all because the prince and princess were so lost in each other's eyes that they couldn't perform their royal duties.
Apple Bloom: Great! We've not only turned Big Mac and Miss Cheerilee into a couple of nonsense-spoutin' nincompoops, we may have put all of Ponyville in jeopardy!
Scootaloo: Come on, Apple Bloom. Miss Cheerilee and Big Mac don't have any royal duties.
Apple Bloom: But they still got responsibilities. If we don't fix this... Oh no, Miss Cheerilee won't be able to teach. Big Mac won't be able to harvest any apples, and before you know it... Ponyville will be overrun with uneducated little ponies starvin' for apples. Oh, it'll be chaos! It'll be chaos!
Sweetie Belle: There's an antidote!
Apple Bloom: Well, why didn't you say so? Didn't you see me gettin' all panicked back there?
Sweetie Belle: If we can keep Miss Cheerilee and Big Mac from looking into each other's eyes for one full hour, the love curse will be broken.
Scootaloo: Only an hour? Pfh, we can pull that off in a second.
Cheerilee: You take the first sip, snuggle-wuggles.
Big McIntosh: No, you take it, schnoodle-dumplin'.
Cheerilee: No, you, shnooky-lumps.
Big McIntosh: No, you, pookie-pie.
Mrs. Cake: I'm all for romance, but this has been going on for hours. What's happened to these two?
Sweetie Belle: [nervous chuckle] Who knows?
Mrs. Cake: Well, these lovebirds will probably be planning a wedding soon. I can always use the catering business.
Sweetie Belle: A wedding! That's it! Miss Cheerilee and Big Mac should get married!
Apple Bloom: How is gettin' hitched gonna keep them apart?
Sweetie Belle: They aren't really gonna get married. They're just gonna get ready to get married.
Cheerilee: [chuckle] No, you, biscuit-wiscuit bear!
Big McIntosh: Nope, you, huggy-wuggy snuggy bunny!
Sweetie Belle: Hi, Miss Cheerilee, how are you?
Cheerilee: I have a very special somepony.
Big McIntosh: I have a very special somepony.
Apple Bloom: Yeah, we noticed.
Sweetie Belle: Gosh, you two are so in love, the next thing you know, you'll be getting married.
Cheerilee and Big McIntosh: Married?!
Sweetie Belle: That's right. Maaarriiied.
Cheerilee and Big McIntosh: Married...
Apple Bloom: [gagging] Ugh!
Apple Bloom: 'Course, if you're gonna get married, you wanna pick out a really nice diamond for your – ugh! – shmoopy-doopy, uh, pookie-pie.
Big McIntosh: Diamond!
Cheerilee: Shmoopy!
Scootaloo: Don't you think you should start looking for your wedding dress? You'll wanna look your best for your... [straining] honey-bunny snuggle-baby.
Cheerilee: Oh! Dress!
Sweetie Belle: Now we just need to keep them apart. I'll keep Miss Cheerilee occupied. You two do the same with Big Mac.
Apple Bloom: No problem.
[clock ticking]
[clock-tower bell chimes]
Sweetie Belle: Meet you back at the clubhouse in an hour when this whole mess is over.
Sweetie Belle: This one looks nice. Better try it on though.
[furniture clattering]
[clock-tower bell chimes]
Sweetie Belle: Ten minutes down, fifty minutes to go.
Apple Bloom: No.
Apple Bloom: No.
Apple Bloom: Not that one either.
Apple Bloom: No.
Apple Bloom: Too... shiny. No. You know, somethin' less... shiny.
"Karat": Mmm.
Apple Bloom: Miss Cheerilee deserves the best. How much time is left? I'm runnin' out of ways to make diamonds sound bad.
Scootaloo: We still have twenty five minutes.
Apple Bloom: [sigh] [anxious] Where's my brother?
"Karat": He made his purchase and departed out the back. Said something about needing to see his... shmoopy-shmoo.
Scootaloo: Ugh.
Apple Bloom: [gagging]
[clock-tower bell chimes]
Apple Bloom: Okay, I'll see what I can do to slow him down. You go on to Carousel Boutique and warn Sweetie Belle.
[wheels creaking]
Apple Bloom: Huh–
[clock-tower bell chimes]
Apple Bloom: [gasp]
Scootaloo: [gasping]
Sweetie Belle: What's wrong? Where's Apple Bloom? Where's Big Mac?
Scootaloo: On [gasp] his [grunt] way. Gotta [grunt] keep him [gasp] out of boutique.
Apple Bloom: Huh?
[clock-tower bell chimes]
Scootaloo: Move away!
Apple Bloom: He'll get to her! He's too strong!
Sweetie Belle: Let him go!
Big McIntosh: Shmoopy-doo– Whoa!
Scootaloo: [sigh] I sure am glad you found those shovels.
[clock-tower bell chimes]
Apple Bloom: One more minute and the spell will be broken!
Big McIntosh: Shmoopy-doo!
Cheerilee: Sweetums?!
[clock-tower bell chimes]
Big McIntosh: Shmoopy-doo!
[clock-tower bell chimes]
[clock ticking]
Apple Bloom: Aaaa
[clock-tower bell chimes]
Apple Bloom: Oh, please be normal, please be normal.
Cheerilee: Am I wearing a wedding veil?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Cheerilee: Are you sitting on a feather bed in a hole in the ground?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Cheerilee: Girls! Can you explain why I look like I'm getting married at the bottom of a pit?
Sweetie Belle: We may have given you the teeny-tiniest bit of love potion... that may have turned out to actually be a love poison, and you may have gone just a teeny-tiniest bit nutty.
Apple Bloom: But we only did it because we thought you and Big Mac would be really happy if you could be each others very special someponies on Hearts and Hooves Day.
Scootaloo: Our hearts and hooves were in the right place.
Cheerilee: We appreciate that you care about us and want us to be happy but–
Apple Bloom: But no matter how good our intentions might have been, we shoulda never meddled in your relationship.
Scootaloo: Nopony can force two ponies to be together.
Sweetie Belle: It's up to everypony to choose that very special somepony for themselves.
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle: We're sorry.
Cheerilee: And you can think about how sorry you are while you're doing all of Big Mac's chores at Sweet Apple Acres. Does that seem like a fair punishment to you?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle: [sigh]
Apple Bloom: Hey there, Miss Cheerilee! What are you doin' here?
Cheerilee: Since you three are doing all of his chores, Big Mac and I thought we'd have a picnic at the gazebo. Ready, sugar bear?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup, pumpkin pie.
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle: [gasp] NOOOOO!!!