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Episode Honest Apple
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Rarity: Oh, thank you so much for helping me with these flyers, Spike. I'm so lucky you just happened to be walking past the boutique. [chuckles]
Spike: Uh, yeah, right. Just happened to be walking past. [chuckles nervously]
Pinkie Pie: Whatcha got here? Lost dog? Balloons for sale? Guitar lessons? 'Cause I found one, I need some, and yes, I am interested! [imitating guitar riff]
Rarity: No. [chuckling] It's a call for submissions. Fashion contest I'm organizing. A showcase for aspiring young designers.
Pinkie Pie: Oh, wow! What an awesome idea!
Rarity: Thank you. I remember how difficult it was to break into the fashion industry when I was starting out. That's why the winner of the contest will get to debut their line in the Carousel Boutique!
Spike: [dreamily] So selfless... So generous...
Rarity: I've also managed to get esteemed fashion critic Hoity Toity and iconic fashion photographer Photo Finish to come to Ponyville and judge the show. And... [squealing] Wait until you hear who else will be a judge.
Spike: Countess Coloratura?
Pinkie Pie: Sassy Saddles?
Spike: Spike?!
Rarity: No! [chuckling] The third judge for the Carousel Boutique's Couture du Future Fashion Contest is none other than... Applejack!
Applejack: What?!
Pinkie Pie: What?!
Spike: What?!
Rarity: ...What?
[theme song]
Applejack: What?!
Rarity: You already said that, darling.
Applejack: I know. But I had to say it again because that's how confused I am. You want me to judge a fashion show?
Pinkie Pie: I'm sure Rarity has her reasons, and once we hear them, all of this will make sense.
Rarity: I admit, Applejack is an unorthodox choice. But that is precisely what makes her an inspired choice!
Pinkie Pie: See? Now it all... still doesn't make any sense.
Rarity: Hoity Toity has expertise in fabric and stitchwork. Photo Finish has an artistic eye for shapes and colors. But sometimes, we designers forget about practicality. That's where you come in.
Applejack: Uh, I think I might be a little too practical. My closet's nothin' but twenty versions of this hat.
Rarity: Which tells me you're a pony who knows what she likes. Besides, a judge must be honest, and you're the most honest pony there is. Ask any pony – they'll tell you.
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! Ooh! Lemme try! [to Cherry Fizzy] Excuse me. Have you ever heard of Applejack?
Cherry Fizzy: The most honest pony there is? Sure have!
Rarity: See? So what do you say?
Applejack: Well, if I'm bein' honest, I don't think I'm the right pony for the job. Fashion just ain't my bag of oats.
Pinkie Pie: Aw, booooo!
Rarity: I do understand your hesitation. But before you say no, sleep on it?
Applejack: Sure, I... guess I can do that for ya.
[shimmering magic sounds]
Applejack: Yeah, I know, Big Mac. I-I was just as surprised as you are. [grunts]
[apples thudding]
Applejack: I mean, heh, can you imagine? Me, judgin' a fashion show?
Apple Bloom: I'd do it! It sounds like fun gettin' to see all those pretty outfits!
Applejack: Well, you're the exception in our family, sugarcube. You know about that kind o' stuff. I'd be as useful as a burned knot on a zapplin' tree. [grunts]
[apples thudding]
Applejack: Although... Rarity did say I just had to focus on practicality. She already has experts for the... uh, fashion-y stuff. Eh, but I still wouldn't know what to say.
[apples thudding]
Applejack: Come on, Apple Bloom! You're doublin' our workload here!
Apple Bloom: Sorry. I wanted to wear a signature hat like yours, but it's makin' it harder to see.
Applejack: That's because it's not like mine. [grunts] You don't need a fancy scarf to keep your hat on. Now you can see. [grunts]
[apples thudding]
Apple Bloom: Wow! That is a lot better! Thanks, Applejack!
Applejack: Sure thing. You know what? I am gonna help Rarity judge her show! I think my sensible "everypony" take on fashion is exactly what the pony community needs!
[bell rings]
Applejack: Rarity, I thought about it some more, and if you still need me, I'd love to be a judge.
Rarity: [squeals] I just knew you'd come around!
Photo Finish: I, Photo Finish, have arrived!
Hoity Toity: As has Hoity Toity.
Rarity: [gasps] It's wonderful to see you! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!
Photo Finish: [simultaneously] Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Rarity: Thank you both so much for doing this. Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!
Hoity Toity: We missed you at Miss Pommel's debut in Manehattan last week.
Rarity: Miss Pommel is showing? I thought she was still making costumes.
Photo Finish: You haven't heard? Everypony who's anypony is talking about it. [clop, clop]
[shimmering magic sounds]
Rarity: Oh, my, they're absolutely stunning!
Applejack: It sure is great to hear Miss Pommel is doin' so well.
Photo Finish: Who is this?! Who speaks?!
Rarity: Oh, uh, this is Applejack. Another one of the judges.
Hoity Toity: So, judge, what do you think?
Applejack: Oh. Wow. Uh, that is just... wow. These are clothes?
[music winds down]
Photo Finish: Ze photo is upside-down!
Applejack: This is... [scoffs] She looks like a disco ball! Hah! D-Did they have to roll her down the runway?! [laughing] I can't believe anypony would actually wear this! [laughing] Am I right?
Hoity Toity: Oh, my!
Photo Finish: I faint! Ugh...
Rarity: [nervous chuckling] So funny... Ahem.
Applejack: Oh, gosh. I didn't mean to make her faint.
Rarity: Oh, don't worry about it, darling. Uh, it happens all the time. Besides, that dress did look a bit like a disco ball. Although, Miss Pommel is making the point that, no matter what we wear, it is a costume of some kind or another.
Applejack: I have no idea what you're talkin' about.
Rarity: And... that's okay. Let's go meet the designers and help them get ready for the show!
Rarity: Designers, welcome! Today you will work on your designs, and we judges will offer our guidance and advice as you prepare for tomorrow's big show.
Lily Lace, Starstreak, and Inky Rose: [excited murmuring]
Rarity: Lily Lace, tell us about your inspiration.
Lily Lace: [Valley girl accent] You guys, this morning, on my way here, I heard a bird singing literally the most beautiful song I'd ever heard! And I wanted to capture not so much the bird's song exactly but more like how the wind carried the bird's song!
Hoity Toity: Powerful yet at the same time fragile and delicate.
Applejack: Uh... Huh?
Rarity: Next up, meet Starstreak.
Starstreak: [panting] I'm not interested in what's already been done. Only what will exist... in the future!
Hoity Toity: Mmmm... Tomorrow's fashion belongs to those who hear it coming.
Inky Rose: I am Inky Rose.
Photo Finish: You have a very focused vision! A strong sense of what you want! It's gut!
Rarity: Applejack, you've been rather quiet. What do you think?
Applejack: Well... it's a lot of black. It's kinda... depressing.
Inky Rose: How's this?
Hoity Toity: Makes a world of difference!
Applejack: Maybe to fashion experts like you. But to ponies like me, it's still black.
Hoity Toity and Photo Finish: [gasps]
Applejack: And I'm not sure how you wear singin' birds or the future. [to Rarity] I don't think they liked what I had to say.
Rarity: Ah, well, that's why you're here. Fashion needs a healthy dose of practicality now and then.
Applejack: Are you puttin' holes in the clothes?! On purpose?!
Inky Rose: It's to create a distressed look.
Applejack: More like an old and tattered look! When a pony's old clothes get holes in 'em, they don't wanna go to the store to buy new clothes with holes in 'em!
Rarity: Okay, yes, not a very practical choice. Fashionable, but not practical.
Photo Finish: Simply shtunning!
Applejack: Sure, it looks pretty, but that's a lot of fabric. With the way it drags behind, it'll be covered in dirt in no time. Thank goodness I'm here. Otherwise, we'd have had holes in clothes and dirty dresses.
Lily Lace: [whimper]
Applejack: [groans]
Rarity: But of course, no look is complete without mane and makeup!
Applejack: So, uh... when are you gonna do her mane?
Starstreak: Ugh! It's already been done!
Rarity: You know what? Uh, I think we've given the designers enough guidance for today. Let's, uh, let them finish their work.
Applejack: Uh, can't wait to see what y'all do for the big show tomorrow!
Lily Lace: I literally don't know why...
Starstreak: [simultaneously] I am so offended.
Inky Rose: [simultaneous grumbling] That was so insensitive...
Rarity: [chuckling nervously, sighs]
[acoustic guitar chord]
Pinkie Pie: Hey, Applejack! On your way home? How'd the first day of the contest go?
Applejack: Heh! Great! At first, I didn't think I'd be much help. But thank goodness I signed on! Without me, they'd be doin' all kinds of crazy fashion-y things!
[off-key guitar chord]
Pinkie Pie: Hey, Rarity! Applejack says the contest is going great! Good thing she's there, huh?
Rarity: Yes, of course... Some of her thoughts are tough to swallow, but hopefully her candor will help the designers achieve the best designs possible.
Pinkie Pie: You seem a little stressed. Wanna try? Music is very relaxing. [strums guitar]
Rarity: Sure... Hmm.
[hard rock solo]
Rarity: [sighs] Much better.
Pinkie Pie: [blows]
Rarity: [inhale, exhale] I can meet my goals. Today is a fresh start. Good morning, everypony! Time for final adjustments before the show!
Hoity Toity: If buttons could convey sadness, you've done it.
Applejack: To me, they convey wakin' up an hour early just to button 'em all! And that's if you could reach most of 'em!
[buttons clattering]
Inky Rose: Is this better?
Applejack: Heh. There you go! Now when it's cold, you just slide it on ya, and you're set. Like a poncho!
Hoity Toity: Um... poncho?
Lily Lace: I attached each feather individually! [laughs] It took me for-literally-ever! [laughs]
Hoity Toity: Ohhhhh. You used hoof-cross-double-over stitches! [chuckles] They're perfect!
Applejack: Who cares if it's stitched perfectly? You don't need feathers on your head!
[feathers fluttering]
Rarity, Hoity Toity, and Lily Lace: [gasps]
Photo Finish: Gasp!
Applejack: My little sister tried to add some flair to her hat, and guess what it got her – an extra hour of work pickin' apples off the ground!
Photo Finish: A good start, but it needs more. No. No. No. Yes!
Hoity Toity: I'd go with this one.
Photo Finish: No, this one!
Applejack: [chuckling]
Photo Finish: Something is funny?
Applejack: What? Oh, no. Uh, it's just, I mean... Those belts look the same.
Hoity Toity: Well, that one completely changes the look. This one complements it.
Applejack: You're kiddin', right?
Rarity: Is everything okay?
Applejack: They're havin' a heated debate about those two belts.
Rarity: Ooh! Both good choices.
Applejack: No! There is no choice! They're the exact same belt! Ugh! This is so silly! Fashion is ridiculous!
All except Applejack: [gasps]
Rarity: You don't mean that!
Applejack: I do! I'm sorry, but that's my honest opinion!
Hoity Toity: Well! I never would've come if I knew we were going to be insulted!
Photo Finish: We go!
Rarity: No! Please! Come back!
Starstreak: If they're out, I'm out, too. I didn't get into fashion to design boring utilitarian clothes!
Lily Lace: I want to create elegance and drama! And this is literally the opposite of—! [scoffs] I mean—! [scoffs] I can't even! [guttural scoff]
Inky Rose: Yeah... no.
Rarity: [sobbing]
Applejack: What? I was just bein' honest!
Jack Hammer and Steam Roller: [grunting]
Rarity: Stop everything! There is no show! Take it all down!
Pinkie Pie: Rarity, what's going on? Is everything okay?
Rarity: No! It is the opposite of okay! The judges have quit! The designers have dropped out! The show is cancelled! All my good intentions squashed! [sobbing] And it's all Applejack's fault!
Applejack: Why are you mad at me?! I was just sayin' what I thought! And isn't that why you wanted me to be a judge?! For my honesty?!
Rarity: Of course! But you said fashion is ridiculous!
Applejack: But it's my opinion! And I'm not gonna lie!
Rarity: Oh—! [scoffs] Come with me!
[knock, knock!]
[door opens]
Strawberry Sunrise: [chewing] Mmmm! [gulp] Oh! [chuckling] Rarity! Oh, what a nice surprise!
Rarity: Hello, Strawberry Sunrise. This is Applejack. I was wondering if you could tell her how you feel about apples.
Strawberry Sunrise: Don't like 'em.
Applejack: What?! Why?! They're crunchy, they're sweet, they're delicious.
Strawberry Sunrise: [chuckles] They're not strawberries. [chewing] Mmmm! [gulp]
Applejack: You're right! Apples are better than strawberries!
Strawberry Sunrise: Only if, by "better", you mean "better at being disgusting".
Applejack: [stammering] You'd better apologize!
Strawberry Sunrise: Oh, I'm sorry... that you actually bite into those tasteless, mealyworm-filled things. Ohhh.
[door slams]
Applejack: What?!? [growling]
Rarity: Applejack, why are you so angry? It's just Strawberry's honest opinion. What's wrong with that?
Applejack: Well, that's fine if she doesn't like 'em! But if she knew how hard we worked to make our apples perfect, maybe she wouldn't be so mean about—! ...Ohhhhhhh... Oh, boy.
Rarity: Mm-hmm. Doesn't feel so good, does it?
Applejack: Nope. No, it does not at all. [sighs] I am so sorry, Rarity. I got so carried away with bein' honest, I guess I didn't think about how I was makin' others feel. [sighs] I'm a real rotten apple.
Rarity: I appreciate that, Applejack. That means a lot. I just wish you'd realized it before you ruined the fashion show.
Hoity Toity: I need to get some of these.
Photo Finish: It's the only way to travel.
Photo Finish: What are you doing?!
Hoity Toity: Canterlot is that way.
Applejack: Yup. But you're not goin' back to Canterlot yet.
Applejack: Hey!
Lily Lace: What is she—?! [scoffs]
Starstreak: I don't know.
Inky Rose: Run.
Applejack: [panting]
Lily Lace, Starstreak, and Inky Rose: [panting]
Lily Lace: I can't even!
Applejack: Whew... Listen, y'all. I thought I was just bein' honest when I said all those things. But somepony helped me realize I was actually bein' hurtful. So for that, I apologize.
Photo Finish: Zo! You don't think fashion is ridiculous?!
Applejack: Uh... Well, I, uh... I still don't understand it. But I appreciate how much it means to y'all and how much hard work you put into it. I also know this contest is important to Rarity. So what do you say?
Hoity Toity: Well, I'd hate to have come all this way here and not see what you can do.
Starstreak: If they're judging, we're in.
Lily Lace: Under one condition. Literally.
Applejack: Anything.
Inky Rose: Untie us.
Applejack: Show's back on, fellers!
Hard Hat, "Rivet", Jack Hammer, and Steam Roller: [groaning]
Applejack: [grunting] Ahhh...
[sewing machine whirring]
[muffled humming]
Applejack: [grunting]
[sewing machine whirring]
Applejack: Aah!
Applejack: [laughing]
Starstreak: [laughing]
Inky Rose: Uh-uh. Uh-huh.
[shimmering magic sounds]
Pinkie Pie: ...And then, Applejack found me and told me to distract you for an hour. But the hour's up! Ta-da!
Rarity: B-B-But how?! They were all leaving. This was all coming down.
Lily Lace: You can thank Applejack. She literally did it all by herself.
Applejack: I don't think that word means what you think it means. But I did bust my tail because I know how much this means to you.
Rarity: Ohhhhh! Thank you, Applejack.
Photo Finish: We start now!
[techno music]
Rarity: First up, Lily Lace!
[camera clicking]
Rarity: Starstreak!
[camera clicking]
Rarity: Inky Rose!
[camera clicking]
Rarity: And now, it's time to vote. I am drawn to the beauty and drama of fashion, and nopony does drama better than Lily Lace, so I vote for her.
Lily Lace: It means sooooo much to me! I literally can't even! [guttural scoff]
Hoity Toity: Simplicity is the keynote of true elegance. That is why I vote for Inky Rose.
Inky Rose: You've... made me so... happy?
Photo Finish: Fashion is the art! I, Photo Finish, vote for Starstreak!
Starstreak: Wonderful to hear, darling.
Rarity: Well, it all comes down to you, Applejack.
Pinkie Pie: Can you believe it?! After everything that's happened, Applejack is the deciding vote! [screams] This is so exciting! Eeeeee!
Rarity: Well, Applejack?
Applejack: [sucks air through teeth] Uh... Heh. U-Uh... Uh...
Rarity: Lily Lace's clothes go here, Inky Rose's will go there, and Starstreak's there.
Applejack: Sorry, but I couldn't pick just one. They all did great, and in my opinion, they all deserve to win.
Rarity: And I agree. I told you your perspective would be beneficial.
Applejack: Is, uh, this one of your new designs, Rarity? It's, uh... Uh, the form is... reminiscent of, uh... I mean, it conjures up images of... uh... well, uh... I-I mean...
Rarity: Oh, that? No! I totally messed that one up! It's ghastly! Horrid! Absolutely terrible!
Applejack: Hah. Oh, thank goodness. 'Cause in my honest opinion... it's awful.
Rarity: Pffft!
Rarity and Applejack: [laughing]
Rarity: When you're right, you're right!
Applejack: I am relieved!