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Episode Just for Sidekicks
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Spike: [humming] [singing] Spike is great... making a jewel cake... [chewing]
Owlowiscious: [hoots]
Spike: Me, that's who. [singing] Been saving up my gems so fine... for a cake that is divine... [chewing]
Owlowiscious: [hoots]
Spike: Who are you hooing at?
Owlowiscious: [hoots]
Spike: I know, they're delicious.
[jewels rattling]
Spike: Now you see 'em, now you don't. [chewing] [belches] Mm! [singing] This is how you make a jewel cake: stir in some gems, and then you bake. [chewing] Mm-hmm! Gonna, eat, eat it up! Gonna– [gasps] What happened to all my jewels?! [drums claws] I had a bowl full of them here, and now I don't! Which means somebody took 'em!
Owlowiscious: [hoots]
Spike: Who? That's what I'm asking, who?! Who took my jewels?! Oh. I'm who. This cake was gonna be so good! Why? [thump] Why?! [gulps] Whyyyyyyyyy???!!!
Owlowiscious: [hoots]
[theme song]
Spike: [singing] I have no jewels... I have no cake... I'm a sad little dragon... With nothing to–
[knock on door]
Owlowiscious: [hoots]
Spike: it?
[door opens]
Fluttershy: Oh! Oh goodness, I-I hope I'm not interrupting anything.
Spike: Well... I do have this cake to not bake...
Fluttershy: Oh... sorry, it's a bad time.
Spike: Uh, inside joke. Talk to me.
Fluttershy: It's just that... Princess Cadance needs us to do a great job welcoming the Head of the Equestria Games when she visits the Crystal Empire tomorrow–
Spike: Oh, I know all about that. As if I wouldn't be any help at welcoming...
Fluttershy: Oh, I don't know what was I thinking. Of course you might be upset for not being invited, and... here I am coming to ask you for a favor. You were probably going to say no anyway. All I had to offer you in exchange was one little jewel.
Spike: What was that?
Fluttershy: [yelps] All I have is this jewel.
Spike: [slurp] That's a really big one. A really big, juicy, perfect-for-a-cake-topper jewel.
Fluttershy: Does this mean you'll do it?
Spike: Yeah... Sure...
Fluttershy: Oh, thank you, thank you! So while I'm gone, you'll take care of Angel, and tomorrow is Tuesday, which is his tail-fluffing day, and it's really important for him to look good.
Spike: Wait, what? You want me to take care of him?
Angel: [blows raspberry]
Fluttershy: Oh, well, yes. But if it's too much trouble, I can always see if there is somepony else.
Spike: Uhh... We already agreed on the whole jewel thing, so I'll just...
Fluttershy: Thank you, thank you, thank you! Angel, aren't you just so excited?
Angel: [distressed squeaking]
Fluttershy: See you tomorrow.
Angel: [blows raspberry]
Spike: You know... She's not the only pony with a pet that might need some watching...
[gyrocopter spinning]
Spike: All I'm saying is, if Fluttershy thought that her beloved little friend shouldn't be left alone while you're busy in the Crystal Empire, then maybe that's just something to think about.
[gems clinking]
Rainbow Dash: Tch! Tank's not some fuzzy little bunny. He can take care of himself.
Rainbow Dash: He's a strong, fearless, and totally together pet.
[apples rolling]
Rainbow Dash: [groans]
[gyrocopter restarts]
Spike: [whistles innocently]
Rainbow Dash: Alright. You can watch him, but only because... uh... Tank's got a strict flying regimen, and-and someone needs to make sure that he doesn't slack off while I'm gone.
Tank: [licking]
Rarity: Ohh! [laughs]
Rainbow Dash: You know... the two of us are very diligent.
Spike: Okay, whatever.
Rarity: Yes, yes, more importantly, as for Opal, she likes to eat every thirty six and a half minutes, you groom her with her silken brush, head to toe...
Rarity: ...Oh, and don't forget to pooch her pillow out in the middle, that's where she likes it. And the temperature in the room should always be exactly eighty one point four degrees. That's the only way she can get to sleep.
Opalescence: [purring]
[feather spontaneously combusting]
Rarity: And, um... hmm... oh, good, so thanks for your help and good luck to you.
Rainbow Dash: A-hem... I think the dragon was expecting a little something for his efforts.
[gem sparkling]
Spike: Almost as beautiful as the pony who gave it to me...
Rainbow Dash: Shouldn't you be critter-proofing the library or something? Tank has a tendency to–
Opalescence: [yowls]
Spike: Critter-proofing. Yeah, I'll get right on that. [chuckles] Three down, three to go.
Spike: What's that you said, Gummy? Uh-huh. Well, you're just gonna have to ask Pinkie Pie about that one.
Pinkie Pie: Ask me, ask me!
Spike: Go ahead, ask her!
Pinkie Pie: Of course you can have another cupcake! Mm? Mm-hm? Yeah? Why didn't you say so? I'll get you a bigger pond immediately.
Spike: I think what Gummy's trying to say is–
Pinkie Pie: He's always wanted a pair of riding pants? His toenails need a new coat of shellac? He wants to floss twice a day instead of just once? [giggles]
Spike: I think what Gummy's trying to say is that he'd like a little Spike time.
Pinkie Pie: Who wouldn't?! Spike time is the best!
Spike: Alas, it doesn't come cheap.
Rainbow Dash: All I'm saying is you might wanna think about a helmet. You only want to get hit in the head by a flying turtle... once.
Spike: A thousand plus carats of pure deliciousness... [slurp]
Applejack: Looks like you got a regular pet day care in here, Spike. You'll still be able to get some good play time with Winona like you said though, won't ya? She tends to get a little wild if she doesn't get her exercise.
Spike: Exercise. Sure, of course.
Winona: [barks]
Spike: Whoa!
Twilight Sparkle: I don't remember seeing critters on the invite list.
Applejack: That's 'cause we're leavin' them here with Spike. He's gonna do a little critter-sittin' for us.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, really?
Fluttershy: So sorry I'm late. Silly bunny had hidden his brush. Be sure you get plenty on his tail, or it won't get as poofy as he likes it.
Applejack: Come on, girls, or we're gonna miss the train. One more for the road? Oh, you little puppy-wuppy, come on here! [chuckles]
Pinkie Pie: No, no no no. I love you more. No, I love you more! I love you more!!!
Fluttershy: Oh, I promise it'll be okay. I'll fluff your tail twice next week. Three times?
Rarity: Oh, I know. It's a chilly eighty one point two in here. Spike, take care of this, would you please?
Spike: You got it! So, uhh... What are you thinking about that hooting little friend of yours? Suppose you want me to keep an eye on him too.
Twilight Sparkle: That would be nice. You sure you don't already have your hands full?
Spike: Nah, pshaw. I'll be fine. But, uh, just between you and me, I gotta give priority to the... paying customers.
Twilight Sparkle: [sigh] You absolutely sure you can do this?
Spike: Of course. Wouldn't have agreed to it if I couldn't. Piece of cake. Speaking of cake, I got a little something I need to attend to.
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, like keeping an eye on a house full of critters.
Spike: [slurp] Uh, yeah, uh, that was totally what I was talking about. Relax. Go to your welcoming thing in the Crystal Empire. Spike's got it all under control.
[door closes]
[crashing, scraping]
Winona: [barking]
Winona: [barking]
Opalescence: [yowling]
[pages ripping]
[gyrocopter spinning]
Spike: Alright, sidekicks, front and center!
Winona: [barks]
Spike: There are six of you, but there's only one right here in front of me... Gah! Two! And what I say goes!
Owlowiscious: [hoots]
Spike: Spike, the boss of you, that's who. One, two, three! Nngh, come on, number four!
Opalescence: [yowls] [scratches]
Spike: Whoa! Guh...
Gummy: [sucking]
Spike: One, two, three, four, five... Argh, who's missing?
Spike: Angel.
[gyrocopter spinning]
Spike: All I wanted were some jewels. Big, juicy, delicious jewels. Now what do I have? A missing rabbit and–
Winona: [barks] [sniffs]
Sweetie Belle: Awww, little fluffy Angel Bunny-kins! You're so cute! The natural weaves in his fluff are to die for!
Spike: [clears throat]
Angel: [thumping]
Sweetie Belle: Isn't Angel just the cutest thing you've ever seen?!
Angel: [blows raspberry]
Spike: [to Angel] Look, you don't wanna be with me. I'd rather not chase you around all over the place when I could be enjoying some jewel cake. Watch me solve both of our problems. [to the Cutie Mark Crusaders] Y'know, I'm supposed to be watching him, but you all have just hit it off so well that maybe, maybe I could let you take care of him instead.
Apple Bloom: We would, but we've got some major Crusaders business planned for today!
Scootaloo: Major. We're getting our skydiving cutie marks today!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Ha! Yeah!
Spike: Well, I suppose, if you've got other plans... It's just, you're so good with them. Like get-a-cutie-mark-for-bunny-sitting good?
Apple Bloom: A bunny-sittin' cutie mark...
Sweetie Belle: That would be adorable!
Scootaloo: He does seem to like us.
Apple Bloom: And we haven't exactly figured out how we're gonna pull off this whole skydivin' thing.
Spike: You know what? As hard as it's gonna be for me part with these little guys, I think you should probably just take all of them. If you ask me, nngh, the more critters you take care of, the more chances you have of getting some kind of critter-sitting cutie mark. Am I right or am I right?
Apple Bloom: Sure!
[door shuts]
Spike: Yes!
Apple Bloom: But wait! How're we gonna take good care of them without treats for when they're good?
Sweetie Belle: And we'll need beds for when they're tired!
Scootaloo: And toys! They need toys!
Spike: It's an afternoon. They don't need all that stuff. They'll be fine.
Apple Bloom: We need to be able to buy them some things! One jewel might be able to cover it all.
Spike: Uh... what would I possibly be doing with jewels?
Apple Bloom: I happen to know for a fact that Applejack gave you a gem to watch Winona, which means...
Spike: Obviously, no one around here is getting a cutie mark for kindness toward a poor, hungry little dragon. Take it or leave it.
Apple Bloom: We'll take it.
[door shuts]
Spike: [singing] Gonna put in some flour, and add a little sugar for my five de-li-cious jewels!
Sweetie Belle: [distant] But pink feathers would look so good with your eyes!
Spike: Meh... that bird could use a little color.
Scootaloo: [distant] Has anyone seen Tank's head? Where's his head?!
[door opens]
Spike: What have you done to the turtle?!
Scootaloo: Ohh, I totally forgot he could do that. Heh.
Apple Bloom: Yeah, so, pretty sure critter-sittin' cutie marks are out.
Sweetie Belle: And our critter-grooming cutie marks probably aren't going to appear anytime soon either.
Owlowiscious: [hoots]
Spike: [groans] Alright, load 'em up. And you can gimme back that jewel I gave you.
Apple Bloom: Sorry, we don't have it anymore.
Spike: What? Why not?!
Scootaloo: How do you think we paid for the industrial-sized pet hair dryer?
[dryer blowing]
Spike: [groans] Oh.
Winona: [barks]
Opalescence: [yowls]
Angel: [laughs]
Zecora: Zecora knows just what to do about all this bad mojo that's floating around you.
Spike: I'm thinking a cage and a great big lock might be next.
Zecora: Zecora can take the bad away if you do just what I say.
Spike: Really?
Zecora: But before I can do my duty, I am going to need some of your booty.
Spike: [sighs] Where are you going?
Zecora: You think jewels are what you need, but there's no worse mojo than dragon greed.
Angel: [laughs]
Spike: [stomach growling]
[pets fighting]
Spike: Almost there...
Granny Smith: [suspiciously] Mm-hm...
Spike: Just taking good care of everyone's animals. What am I gonna have to do to get this to go away? [sighs] And this is just between you and me, right? No other pony has to hear a word about it?
[pets fighting]
Granny Smith: A word about what now?
Spike: This better be important.
[steam hissing]
Conductor: All aboard!
Spike: Angel.
Conductor: I can't have all of these animals on my train. Not without tickets and not without chaperones.
Spike: All I need is to get on for one minute, grab a bunny, and get off! Promise!
Conductor: [laughs] Likely story. No chaperone, no train.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [laughing]
Scootaloo: Skydiving cutie marks!
Spike: Is three ponies enough? [sighs] At least I have you two left, my delectable little treasures.
Conductor: All aboard for the Crystal Empire!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Crystal Empire?!
Scootaloo: I've always wanted to see the Crystal Empire!
Sweetie Belle: I wish I were dressed for it, but still... [squealing] THE CRYSTAL EMPIRE!
Spike: We're not really going! We just needed to get on the train so I can get that rabbit! And when I do, we're off!
Scootaloo: What?!
Apple Bloom: That's not fair!
Angel: [blows raspberry]
Spike: There he is!
Conductor: Next stop, the Crystal Empire!
Spike: No, no, no, no, no, no!
[train engine chugging]
Apple Bloom: So it seems like the Crystal Empire would be really cold, but I've heard that it's not! It's as warm as can be!
Scootaloo: Do you think the walls are crystal? [gasps] Maybe even see-through! Can you imagine see-through walls?
[door opens]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [gasping]
[crash, crunch]
Opalesence: [yowls]
Spike: Take it! Just take it!
[train engine chugging]
Scootaloo: So beautiful!
Spike: Well, enjoy it while you can, 'cause we're not getting out of this car until we're back in Ponyville!
Apple Bloom: There is no way, no how, we're comin' all the way to the Crystal Empire without lookin' around!
Spike: Nopony's gonna get past this dragon!
Apple Bloom: Don't make me use this!
Spike: You wouldn't dare! [giggles]
Spike: Oh no! [gasps]
Scootaloo: Whoa, just whoa.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [giggling]
Sweetie Belle: Ah! I'm in crystal heaven!
Spike: Shhh! They're right there! There's the bunny! Please, please, pretty please, don't go down there! I'll fluff your tail! I'll perm, highlight, and blow it out if you'll just stop!
Angel: [blows raspberry]
Spike: What do you want?! Name it, and it's yours! [pants] [groans] [kisses] Hyah!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [gasping]
Angel: [crying]
[luggage clattering]
Fluttershy: Oh my goodness.
Conductor: All aboard!
Spike: Hah! You're coming with me!
Angel: [crying]
Spike: We made it!
Sweetie Belle: Without seeing the palace!
Twilight Sparkle: I think this car's empty.
Spike: They're coming this way! Everybody down!
Sweetie Belle: There has to be a better solution!
Spike: Shh! Oh, don't sit down, don't sit down!
Applejack: Whooeee! My dogs are barkin'.
Winona: [barks]
Applejack: Did y'all hear that? They really are!
Rainbow Dash: Huh, bummer Spike had to miss out on all this. He woulda' had fun here.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sure he's having a great time watching all the critters back at home.
Applejack: Think he's still got a handle on things?
Twilight Sparkle: If he's staying calm and collected, I bet he's doing a terrific job as a leader.
Spike: Go ahead, bunny. Do your worst. I deserve it. I ignored you, tried to pawn you off on someone else, I didn't take these silly things out, or fluff this like I was supposed to. I wasn't really thinking about you at all. Any of you. Just wanted the jewels. I hope you'll all forgive me someday.
Winona: [licks]
Spike: You will? [stomach growls] Oh great. I'm gonna be the one who gives us away.
Spike: Where did you– [stomach growls]
Applejack: You all hear that?
[train braking]
Applejack: I can't wait to scratch the belly on Winona. Oh, I miss her.
Twilight Sparkle: I can't wait to see Owlowiscious! [giggles]
Spike: Hello! Thought we'd meet you at the station!
Sweetie Belle: So we could hear all about the Crystal Empire, and find out if you brought us one of the crystal snow globes that they sell at the train station!
Rarity: How did you know about the snow globes?
Sweetie Belle: Um... lucky guess?
Twilight Sparkle: I've gotta hand it to you, Spike. You did a really good job of taking care of the animals.
[gyrocopter spinning]
Fluttershy: Oh, Spike, Angel looks perfect! You did such a good job fluffing his tail.
Spike: Yeah, well... we're like this now.
Owlowiscious: [hoots]
Spike: You know who.
Owlowiscious: [hoots]
Twilight Sparkle: So what are you thinking? Bake 'em into a jewel pie? Ooh, six-layer gem cake sounds pretty good!
Spike: Yeah, it does. [slurps] It really, really does. Whyyyyyyyyy???!!!
Winona: [howls]