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Episode Keep Calm and Flutter On
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Pinkie Pie: I love it when Princess Celestia comes to Ponyville! I got my hooves shined just like Rarity for the occasion. Ya like?
Rarity: I certainly do!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm surprised she's not here yet.
Spike: [sighs] I wonder what's taking so long?
Twilight Sparkle: And where are Applejack and Fluttershy?
Rarity: Fluttershy's detained helping Applejack with a mishap at Sweet Apple Acres. They'll be along.
Spike: But, I still don't get why the Princess would be so late.
Twilight Sparkle: She's bringing an important visitor. That could be part of it.
Rainbow Dash: A visitor who's important and slow.
Rarity: Maybe it's somepony so terribly important, she still had many more terribly important things to do before she got here.
Spike: [gasp] Maybe the visitor has a deer antler, a goat leg, a bat wing, and a snake tail!
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, right. That's Discord.
Rarity: Why in the wide, wide world of Equestria would Princess Celestia bring along someone like that?
Spike: M-m-maybe you should ask... her!
Rarity: Huh?
[theme song]
Twilight Sparkle: With all due respect, Princess Celestia, how could you bring Discord here?! [clears throat] Your majesty.
Princess Celestia: I'm fully aware that the last time Discord was here, he created serious havoc.
Rainbow Dash: If by "serious havoc" you mean "turning Ponyville into the chaos capital of the world"...
Rarity: ...and tricking us all into being the opposite of our true selves...
Pinkie Pie: And making yummy delicious chocolate milk rain all over the place without a single dollop of whipped cream to go with it anywhere in sight! Not a single dollop!
Princess Celestia: Yes, I understand. But I have use for Discord's magic if it can be reformed to serve good instead of evil. This is why I've brought Discord here, because I believe that you are the ponies who can help him do just that.
Spike: This will never work! This is a disaster! How will we ever control him?! We're doomed!
Princess Celestia: Need I remind you that you are the ponies who turned him back into stone like this in the first place?
Twilight Sparkle: I suppose we can just use the Elements of Harmony against him again if it gets out of hand.
Spike: Uh, w-w-we probably need a volunteer to run away from here right away to get them. I'll do it!
Princess Celestia: No need, Spike. I have them right here, and I've cast a spell so Discord can't take them and hide them again. Now where is Fluttershy? I believe she may know best how to begin reforming Discord.
Rainbow Dash: Fluttershy? Really?
[beaver chittering]
Applejack: What's he goin' on about now?
Fluttershy: Good news. Mr. Beaverton Beaverteeth has agreed to take his dam apart and move it.
Applejack: Well, it's about time. My apple trees are so waterlogged, I can practically hear 'em gargle!
[beaver loudly complaining]
Fluttershy: But he says first you'll have to apologize for calling him "a nuisance".
Applejack: Apologize? He's lucky I didn't call him a varmint!
[beaver loudly complaining]
Fluttershy: [gasps] Mr. Beaverton Beaverteeth! Such language!
Applejack: Fine, fine. I apologize.
[beaver blowing raspberry]
Applejack: [growls]
[logs tumbling]
Applejack: [sighs] Thanks, Fluttershy. Don't know what I would've done without you.
Fluttershy: Glad I could help.
Rainbow Dash: Hey, slackers! Double time it on over to Ponyville, would ya?! We're all waiting on you!
Princess Celestia: I realize that this is a tall order, but I wouldn't ask if I weren't confident you could get him to use magic obediently of his own free will.
Fluttershy: And... you really think I'll know best how to do that?
Princess Celestia: I do. Now, I must return to Canterlot for Equestria's royal summit. You may release Discord when ready.
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, ponies, guess it's time to get started. Let's just hope this releasing spell works.
Spike: Or... let's not.
Twilight Sparkle: We'd best keep our elements on at all times 'til further notice.
Rest of main cast: Check!
[magical warbling]
[rock cracking]
Discord: [screaming] [yawns] Oh! Ooh! Ooooh! Well, it's about time somepony got me out of that prison block. What a relief! [snaps fingers]
[twig snaps]
Main cast: [gasps]
Twilight Sparkle: What do you think you're doing?!
Discord: Nnnnnnnnngh– Why, stretching, of course. When you're a creature of chaos, stone bodysuits aren't your typical go-to fashion choice. Nnngh... [snaps fingers]
[discorded bunny screeches]
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Make that bunny cute again! Now!
Discord: Oh... [sniggers] He's adorable the way he is.
[bunny chomps]
Discord: [blows raspberry] You know what else is adorable? You ponies truly believe that you can reform me, and that you're putting your faith in this one here to make it happen. Makes me wanna pinch your little horsey cheeks...
Twilight Sparkle: How'd you know about that?!
Discord: Being turned to stone doesn't keep me from hearing every word Celestia says. Although I admit it makes rolling my eyes a challenge.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, unless you want us to turn you back to stone, you'll zap those animals back the way they were, pronto!
Discord: Oh, you wouldn't dare turn me back to stone and risk disappointing your precious princess.
Rainbow Dash: Try us, "Dip-cord"!
Fluttershy: You think you can treat poor defenseless animals like that and get away with it?!
Rainbow Dash: You go, Fluttershy!
Fluttershy: You'd best watch your step, buster, or I'll give you... the Stare!
Discord: [sarcastically] The Stare? Oh no, please, not that! Anything but your disapproving eyeballs! [laughs] Oh no! No no no, stop! No, no! [strangled noises] I can't! Stop! I can't take it anymore! I'll do whatever you say! Because... [laughs] You're hilarious! [laughs]
Twilight Sparkle: If it turns out we need to use our elements against you, I'm sure we can convince Princess Celestia it was for a good reason!
Discord: Mmm... I suppose that's correct. [snaps fingers]
[bunny chittering]
Discord: [snaps fingers on tail]
[beavers chittering]
Discord: [to audience, under his breath] Oopsie! [normally] Well, it looks like I know where I'll be crashing while I'm being "reformed"... With you, Fluttershy. [laughs]
Fluttershy: Oh, dear.
Fluttershy: He may be horrible, but that doesn't mean we have to act the same way. We should at least try to be hospitable. [to Angel] You don't mind giving up your favorite spot on the couch, do you, Angel Bunny?
Angel: [angry squeaking]
Fluttershy: Oh, I'm sorry about Angel. Are you alright?
Discord: Oh, yes. Thank you, Fluttershy, for your concern. If only your pony friends could be as considerate...
Rainbow Dash: Don't listen to him, Fluttershy! He's just trying to drive a wedge between us like he always does.
Discord: Now why in the world would I ever try to do a thing like that?
Rainbow Dash: So we can't unite and use the Elements of Harmony against you, that's why!
Discord: I never thought of that...
Rainbow Dash: You big liar!
Discord: Now, look who's a liar. Anyone can plainly see that I'm not big at all.
Discord: Oops. [snaps fingers] There, all better. [cracks tail like a whip]
Applejack: I can't watch...
Rainbow Dash: We'll be outside.
Twilight Sparkle: You sure you're okay with this?
Fluttershy: I know it's not gonna be easy, but Princess Celestia's counting on me. And... I think I actually know what to do.
Twilight Sparkle: You do?
Angel Bunny: [angry squeaking, continues under]
Fluttershy: I think the key is to befriend him. Being kind to him and letting him be my house guest is probably the best way to do that.
Twilight Sparkle: And you really think that'll work?
Fluttershy: I think it's worth a try.
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, but if you need us, all you need to do is whisper "help", and we'll be back here with our elements. [to Discord] So watch that goat-legged step of yours, pal!
Discord: Wh-what?! Look at me! I'm practically reformed already.
[door closes]
Rarity: She's really alright with him staying there?
Twilight Sparkle: That's what she said.
Rainbow Dash: Personally, I think we should come up with a backup plan, in case this whole "befriending" business doesn't work out.
Rarity: Rainbow Dash is right. This is Discord we are talking about, girls. It wouldn't be a bad idea to have another trick up our sleeves.
Twilight Sparkle: And I think I know just the trick.
Fluttershy: Discord? Oh, there you are. Listen, Discord, I just want to make sure you know that if there's anything I can do to– uh, umm, are you eating... paper?
Discord: [gulp] Am I? Huh, how odd of me. [chews]
Fluttershy: Well, um... I'm just heading out, so you just make yourself at home while I'm gone.
Discord: Buh-bye, have a nice time! Everything is fine here. Bye bye... Bye bye...
[door shuts]
Discord: You like carrots, Angel? I'm playing your owner for a fool! [laughs] How d'ya like them carrots?
Angel: [screams]
Discord: [snaps fingers]
[pages turning]
Twilight Sparkle: That's weird. The spell I had in mind isn't in here. Spike, where are the other books I asked you to pull?
Spike: Right here, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: I really want to have a reforming spell up and running pronto.
Spike: But what if he makes the Elements of Harmony disappear like he did last time?
Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia cast a spell protecting them, remember? Uh-oh.
[books thudding]
Spike: What's wrong?
Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia didn't cast a spell protecting our books! Everywhere I thought I'd find the reforming spell... [gasps]
Discord: [eating] Are you sure this isn't overdoing it? You said to make myself at home while you were gone, but I wouldn't want to overstep my bounds.
Fluttershy: Nngh... I did say that, so... if this makes you more comfortable... by all means, please feel free.
Discord: Oh. Well, it does, very much so. You're so very kind, my dear Fluttershy. I always knew that you were the understanding one, not like those nasty friends of yours.
Angel: [Wilhelm scream]
Fluttershy: [gasps] My friends aren't nasty!
Discord: Well, of course you'd say that. It just goes to show how understanding you truly are. You know, I think Princess Celestia is right when she singled you out as the one who could reform me. You're off to such a good start, I'm seriously considering actually being reformed. [under previous: blows raspberry]
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy! Fluttershy, can you hear me?
Fluttershy: Goodness! I hear Twilight!
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy, what's going on? Are you okay?!
Fluttershy: We're fine. Everything's going great. Isn't it, Angel?
Angel: [chitters dizzily]
Twilight Sparkle: We've come to get you away from Discord! He's just terrible and, from the looks of it, completely out of control!
Fluttershy: Oh, but you're wrong! We're making great progress!
Twilight Sparkle and Spike: Seriously?!
Fluttershy: I'm earning his trust by giving him a little space to be himself.
Spike: Hate to break it to ya, but he used that "space to be himself" to tear out all the reforming spells from the library!
Fluttershy: That does explain the paper eating...
Twilight Sparkle: He ate them?! Ugggghhhh!
Fluttershy: But we aren't gonna need a spell. He's already really considering being reformed! He said so.
Twilight Sparkle: And you believed him?
Fluttershy: If I'm going to be his friend, I have to start by giving him the benefit of the doubt! Tell you what. Bring all the ponies over for a dinner party this evening, and I'll bet his manners will have really improved by then. I'll even get him to put the cottage back on the ground first.
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Alright. Dinner it is.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh, I can't believe we're having a dinner party with Discord!
Rarity: This evening is sure to be a disaster. Glad I didn't bother wearing my fanciest outfit.
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy thinks this is the way to reform Discord and asked us to give it a chance.
[door opens]
Discord: Oh, our pony guests! [upper class voice] We're so delighted that you've come. Please, do come in.
Fluttershy: See what a beautiful job he did helping? Discord set the entire table himself. I'm so proud.
Discord: May I take your... [clears throat] hats, ladies?
Twilight Sparkle: Hang on to your elements, girls. It's gonna be a bumpy night.
Fluttershy: As you all know, Princess Celestia hoped we'd help Discord use his magic for good instead of evil.
Fluttershy: Pinkie Pie, care for some gravy?
Pinkie Pie: You bet!
Discord: Allow me.
[magic pop]
[animate gravy boat panting like a dog]
Pinkie Pie: Oh, what a cute little gravy boat you are! Yes you are! Yes you are!
Rainbow Dash: That's one creepy little gravy boat if you ask me.
Fluttershy: Oh, come on now, Dashie. You're not even giving this a chance.
Rainbow Dash: Hey! That's hot!
Discord: Whoops! [chuckles] I'm so sorry!
Rainbow Dash: He did that on purpose!
Discord: Oh, well, I don't know about that. Mistakes happen. Oh, look, everypony, dancing candles!
Rainbow Dash: I'm not falling for that! Discord's just trying to distract us from–
[poking noises]
Rainbow Dash: [grunts] Hey! Knock it off! I suppose that's another "mistake"?
Discord: No, I think you just made them mad.
Twilight Sparkle: There's something fishy going on.
Fluttershy: Discord?
Discord: Well, it's hardly my fault if the soup tureen finds the term "something fishy" to be offensive.
Rarity: Not the dress! Not the dress!
Applejack: That tureen's only doin' what you're makin' it do!
Fluttershy: Now let's not jump to any conclusions.
Rainbow Dash: Fluttershy! Can't you see what he's doing? He's playing innocent with you so you'll never agree to use the Elements of Harmony against him!
Discord: Oh, well, that's a bit harsh, isn't it?
Rainbow Dash: You see what I'm saying, right, Fluttershy? Fluttershy!
Fluttershy: You know what I see? I see that Discord's far from perfect, but I also see none of you giving him a chance!
Rest of main cast: [complaints]
Rainbow Dash: What's gotten into you?! Why do you keep cutting him so much slack?
Fluttershy: Because that's what friends do.
Discord: We're friends?
Fluttershy: Why, of course! I can't remember my house ever being this lively before you came along.
Discord: Oh... Well, I've... never really had a friend before.
Fluttershy: Well, now you do!
[window opening]
Angel: [worried chittering]
Fluttershy: Now is not a good time, Angel. We're having a dinner party.
Applejack: Hold up! I-I think he's tryin' to tell us somethin'!
[glass clinking]
Main cast sans Fluttershy: Apple!
Main cast sans Fluttershy and Applejack: Applejack!
[dragging sound]
Rarity: Oh, oh, oh! Sweet Apple Acres?
Rainbow Dash: Flooding at Sweet Apple Acres! And we all know who's behind that now, don't we?!
Discord: Who, me?
Rainbow Dash: Oh, give it a rest! What do you think of your "friend" now, Fluttershy?
Applejack: I've never seen the floodin' this bad! They've built dams 'round here before, but never like this! What's goin' on?
[beaver chittering]
Fluttershy: [gasps] Such language! [sighs] It's no use. They won't listen to a word I say!
Rainbow Dash: You see Discord's behind all this, right?
Fluttershy: Oh, of course I do! Do you all think I'm a silly, gullible fool?
Only in the sense
of being silly and gullible...
Pinkie Pie:
Um, well...
Uh... uh, no, not exactly...
Fluttershy: I've just been trying to gain his friendship any way I can, so he'd come to trust and listen to me!
Discord: Hey there, Fluttershy, you want a turn? The water's great!
Fluttershy: Time to see if it worked.
Discord: Fluttershy, oh, there you are. A sight for sore eyes.
Fluttershy: As you can see, there's a big mess down here at Sweet Apple Acres.
Discord: Oh, yes. Awful business, that. Mm.
Fluttershy: It is awful. This is Applejack's home, and it's being destroyed by innocent creatures who would never be acting this way if it weren't for your reckless behavior. You need to fix this.
Discord: Oh, yes, very well, I will fix it. I only ask one thing in return.
Fluttershy: Yes?
Discord: I ask that you never use your Element of Harmony against me. As a sign of our friendship.
[necks squeaking]
Fluttershy: I will never use my Element of Harmony against you.
Discord: Excellent! [snaps fingers] There, much better! I do prefer ice skating to water skiing! Don't you? [humming]
[nonexistent crowd cheering]
Fluttershy: Discord! That's not fixing it! Why, I oughta...
Discord: Where are you going? What's wrong, pal?
Fluttershy: Don't call me your pal!
Discord: Oh, pfft, come skating with me, and we'll let bygones be bygones.
Spike: Here you go, Fluttershy! Game on!
Twilight Sparkle: He fixes this or he goes back to being stone! Princess Celestia will understand!
[suspenseful pause]
Fluttershy: I made a promise not to use my element against him, and I'm going to keep it.
Pinkie Pie: [gasps]
Applejack and Rainbow Dash: [groans]
Discord: Hahah! You see? She wants to have fun with me because we're friends. She can't use the elements against me because we're friends. I'm free forever! [laughs]
Fluttershy: [growls] Not. Your. Friend!
Discord: Who cares? I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. I'm Discord, the master of chaos! You think you can boss Discord around? You think I'm just going to turn all this back because you say so? Because if I don't, I'll lose the one friend I ever had? [pause] Oh. Oh. Well played, Fluttershy. Well played.
[magic noises]
Main cast sans Fluttershy: [cheering]
Discord: I like it better my way, but... I guess when you're friends, you can't always have things exactly your way all the time, eh?
Discord: Yes, Princess, I'm ready to use my magic for good instead of evil. [under his breath] Most of the time.
Princess Celestia: Congratulations on your success, ponies. I definitely sense a big change in Discord. [to Twilight] I'll leave the Elements of Harmony with you, Twilight. Just in case.
Twilight Sparkle: You were right when you said Fluttershy would be the one to find the way to reform Discord. By treating Discord as a friend, she got him to realize that friendship was actually important to him. And something that, once he had, he didn't want to lose.
Fluttershy: Go on. Say it...
Discord: [groans] Alright. [quickly] Friendship is magic.
Fluttershy: See? He can be a real sweetheart once you get to know him.