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Spike: Ugh, come on, Twilight. We're gonna be late for the Nightmare Night festival. Huh? Are you that one kooky grandpa from Ponyville Retirement Village?
Twilight Sparkle: I'm Star Swirl the Bearded! Father of the amniomorphic spell? Did you even read that book I gave you about obscure unicorn history?
Spike: Uh.. [knocking] That sounds important. [yelp]
Fillies: Nightmare Night! What a fright! Give us something sweet to bite!
Twilight Sparkle: Hi, everypony. Great costumes. Happy Nightmare Night, Granny Smith.
Granny Smith: I should have been asleep five hours ago.
Pipsqueak: Pipsqueak the pirate, at your service. It's my very first Nightmare Night.
Twilight Sparkle: Since you moved here from Trottingham?
Pipsqueak: No, my very first Nightmare Night ever!
Pinkie Pie: [chicken squawk] Enough chitchat! Time is candy!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie, aren't you a little old for this?
Pinkie Pie: Too old for free candy? [chicken squawk] Never.
Twilight Sparkle: [bell jingles] Do you like it?
Pinkie Pie: Yeah! Great costume, Twilight! You make a fantastic weirdo clown!
Twilight Sparkle: A clown? Look at the borders on these robes. These are hoof-stitched!
Spike: It's a great costume! Huh! Grandpa!
Twilight Sparkle: [growls]
[theme song]
Twilight Sparkle: Star Swirl the Bearded is only the most important conjurer of the pre-classical era.
Background ponies: Yeah! Whoo-hoo!
Twilight Sparkle: He created more than two hundred spells! He even has a shelf in the Canterlot library of magic named after him. Maybe I should start up a pony group to teach ponies about history. I bet everypony would love it! Don't you, Spike?
Spike: [chewing candy] Mm-hmm! [eating sounds] I love it!
Twilight Sparkle: Hey look, we're here already! Should we get something to eat?
Spike: [burp]
Pinkie Pie: Twilight, Twilight! Look at our haul! Ah! Can you believe it? And then, we went to Cheerilee's house, and got a bunch more goodies. Didn't we, Pip?
Pipsqueak: Sure did!
Pinkie Pie: And then, we had to stop and wait for Granny Smith, and -–
[lightning zap]
Pinkie Pie: [chicken squawk]
Foals: [screaming]
Rainbow Dash: [laughing maniacally]
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash, that wasn't very nice.
Rainbow Dash: Lighten up, old-timer. This is the best night of the year for pranks!
Twilight Sparkle: Look what you did to Spike!
Spike: [choking on candy]
Rainbow Dash: It's all in good fun. Oh! Oh! There's another group over there!
[lightning zap]
Background ponies: [screaming]
Rainbow Dash: [laughing maniacally]
Twilight Sparkle: Happy Nightmare Night, Applejack!
Applejack: Howdy, Spike! Hey, Twilight! Nice costume.
Spike: Thanks! I'm a dragon.
Twilight Sparkle: She means me, Spike.
Applejack: With that beard, I reckon you're some sorta country music singer.
Twilight Sparkle: [annoyed grunt]
Spike: [laughing]
Applejack: While y'all are here, ya' feel like bobbin' for an apple?
[cheering and applauding]
Mayor Mare: Thank you, everypony, and welcome to the Nightmare Night festival!
[cheering and applauding]
Mayor Mare: Now, all the little ponies who have been out collecting sweets should follow our friend Zecora to hear the legend of... Nightmare Moon! [laughter]
Spike: Spooky voice might work better if she wasn't dressed like that.
Twilight Sparkle: [giggling]
Zecora: Follow me, and very soon, you'll hear the tale of Nightmare Moon.
Zecora: Listen close, my little dears, I'll tell you where you got your fears of Nightmare Night, so dark and scary. [blows] Of Nightmare Moon, who makes you wary.
All: [gasps]
Zecora: Every year, we put on a disguise, to save ourselves from her searching eyes.
Foals: [screaming]
Zecora: But Nightmare Moon wants just one thing: to gobble up ponies in one quick swing!
Pipsqueak and Pinkie Pie: [scream]
Zecora: Hungrily, she soars the sky. If she sees nopony, she passes by. So if she comes and all is clear, Equestria is safe another year!
Pipsqueak: Uh, Miss Zecora, if we wear costumes to hide from Nightmare Moon, so she won't gobble us up, how come we still need to give her some of our candy?
Zecora: A perfect question, my little friend. For Nightmare Moon you must not offend. [blows] Fill up her belly with a treat or two, so she won't return to come eat you!
Pinkie Pie: [screaming] Everypony! Just dump some candy and get out of here!
[wind whistling]
All: [screaming]
Pinkie Pie: [gasp] It's Nightmare Moon! Run!
All: [screaming]
All: [screaming, squawking]
[thunder, lightning, screaming]
Twilight Sparkle: [awestruck] Princess Luna!
Cloud Kicker: [whimpers]
Princess Luna: [booming voice] Citizens of Ponyville! We have graced your tiny village with our presence, so that you might behold the real Princess of the Night! A creature of nightmares no longer, but instead a pony who desires your love and admiration! Together we shall change this dreadful celebration into a bright and glorious feast!
[lightning, thunder]
Pinkie Pie: Did you hear that, everypony? Nightmare Moon says she's gonna feast on us all!
All: [screaming]
Princess Luna: [normal voice] What? No, children, no! You no longer have reason to fear us! Screams of delight is what your princess desires, not screams of terror! [stomps hoof] Madame Mayor, thy Princess of the Night hath arrived.
Mayor Mare: [gasp]
Raven: [gasp]
Princess Luna: What is the matter with you? Very well, then. Be that way. We won't even bother with the traditional royal farewell.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm gonna go talk to her.
Spike: You can't talk to her! She's Nightmare Moon!
Twilight Sparkle: No, she's not. I saw the Elements of Harmony change her back to good. But it seems like she's having some trouble adjusting after being gone for a thousand years.
Twilight Sparkle: Princess Luna? Hi, my name is-
Princess Luna: Star Swirl the Bearded. Commendable costume! Thou even got the bells right.
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you! Finally! Somepony who gets my costume! Uh, I just came to welcome you to our celebration! My actual name is-
Princess Luna: Twilight Sparkle. [booming voice] It was thou who unleashed the powers of harmony upon us and took away our dark powers!
Twilight Sparkle: And that was a good thing, right?
Princess Luna: [normal voice] But of course. We could not be happier. Is that not clear?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, you kinda sound like you're yelling at me.
Princess Luna: But this is the traditional royal Canterlot voice! It is tradition to speak using the royal "we", and to use [booming voice] this much volume when addressing our subjects!
Twilight Sparkle: You know, that might explain why your appearance was met with... mixed results. I think if you just changed your approach a bit, you might be met with a warmer reception.
Princess Luna: [booming voice] Change our approach?
Twilight Sparkle: Lower the volume?
Princess Luna: [normal voice] Ohhh. We have been locked away for a thousand years. We are... not sure we can.
Twilight Sparkle: Don't worry, Princess. Fluttershy can give you some great pointers. She's delicate and demure with the sweetest little voice. [knocks]
Fluttershy: Go away! No candy here! Visitors not welcome on Nightmare Night!
Twilight Sparkle: [nervous laughing] Fluttershy, it's me, Twilight!
Fluttershy: It is you. Ah, and Nightmare Moon. [gasp] Nightmare Moon? [yelps]
[door slams]
Twilight Sparkle: [nervous laughter] Wait right here.
[various noises]
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy... you remember Princess Luna?
Princess Luna: [booming voice] Charmed.
Fluttershy: [timidly] Likewise.
Princess Luna: [booming voice] Twilight Sparkle hath spoken of the sweetness of thy voice. We ask thou teachest to us to speak as thou speakest.
Fluttershy: [very quiet] Okay.
Princess Luna: [booming voice] Shall our lessons begin?
Fluttershy: [whisper] Okay.
Princess Luna: [booming voice] Shall we mimic thy voice?
Fluttershy: [quiet] Okay.
Princess Luna: [booming voice] How is this?
Fluttershy: [hurriedly] Perfect, lesson over!
[door thuds shut]
Twilight Sparkle: A little quieter, princess.
Princess Luna: [booming voice] How is... [loud voice] this?
Twilight Sparkle: Better. Right, Fluttershy?
Fluttershy: [nervous, dazed laughter] Yes.
Princess Luna: [loud voice] How... about... now?
Twilight Sparkle: Now you're getting it.
Princess Luna: [normal voice] And... how about now?
Twilight Sparkle: Yes! Well done.
Princess Luna: [booming voice] I thank thee, dear Fluttershy! Our normal speaking voice shall surely win us the hearts of thy fellow villagers.
Pinkie Pie: Fluttershy! You've gotta hide us! Nightmare Moon is here and... [chicken squawk] Ah! She stole Fluttershy's voice so she can't scream when she gobbles her up!
Foals: [screaming]
Princess Luna: [booming voice] Nay, children, wait! [normal voice] I mean... nay, children, no, wait.
Twilight Sparkle: Come on, princess. Time for plan B.
All: Hurray!
Several ponies: [whimper]
Sassaflash: Aah!
Princess Luna: It is of no use, Twilight Sparkle. They have never liked us and they never shall.
Twilight Sparkle: My friend Applejack is one of the most likable ponies around. I'm sure she'll have some ideas.
Pipsqueak: Heee...!
Applejack: Whoop. Careful there, partner. [whimper]
Twilight Sparkle: Uh... Applejack, the princess is looking for a little advice on how to fit in around here.
Applejack: "Fit in"? Really?
Twilight Sparkle: [annoyed grunt]
Applejack: I mean... that's easy! All you gotta do is have the right attitude. Loosen up a bit, be positive, play a few games, have some fun.
Princess Luna: Fun? What is this "fun" thou speakest of? Pray tell, what purpose do these serve?
Cherry Berry: Try to land the sp-sp-spiders on the web.
Applejack: You can do it, princess!
Princess Luna: Ha! Your princess enjoys this "fun"! In what other ways may we experience it?
Twilight Sparkle: Fire away, princess!
Princess Luna: Ha ha! The fun has been doubled!
All: Hurray! [cheering]
Applejack: Why don't you try bobbin' for apples? We got the best apples in Equestria here, princess.
Princess Luna: I ask that thou call us... me... Luna, fair Applejack. Hear me, villagers! All of you! Call me Luna!
All: Luna... [approving chatter]
Princess Luna: Show me to these bobbing apples.
Pipsqueak: Whoa! [splash]
Pinkie Pie: Hey, gals. Anypony seen Pip? We lost him the last time we had to run– [chicken squawk] Aaah! Nightmare Moon is gobbling Pipsqueak! Everypony run!
Fillies: [scream]
Pipsqueak: Help! My backside has been gobbled!
Princess Luna: 'Tis a lie! Thy backside is whole and ungobbled, thou ungrateful whelp! [hoof stomp, thunder] Fair villagers, please do not back away. Let us join together in... fun!
[toy spider squeaks]
Princess Luna: Not enough fun for you? What say you to this?!
Citizens: [screaming]
Princess Luna: Huzzah! How many points do I receive?
Golden Harvest: [scream]
Citizens: [screaming]
Princess Luna: Do not run away!
Daisy: [scream]
Princess Luna: As your princess, we command you!
Citizens: [screaming]
Princess Luna: [deafening voice] Be still!
Twilight Sparkle: Princess, remember! Watch the screaming!
Princess Luna: [booming voice] No, Twilight Sparkle! We must use the traditional royal Canterlot voice for what we are about to say. Since you choose to fear your princess rather than love her, and dishonor her with this insulting celebration, we decree that Nightmare Night shall be canceled! Forever!
Applejack: [sigh] Shoot. We had everything goin' our way. Luna was happy, everypony in town was happy, now look at 'em.
Noi: [crying] But I wanted to be a zombie next year.
Twilight Sparkle: It's not over yet.
Applejack: What are you gonna do?
Twilight Sparkle: I'm going to do what I do best. Lecture her!
Twilight Sparkle: Princess?
Princess Luna: Leave me be, Twilight Sparkle.
Twilight Sparkle: Princess, I'm sorry it hasn't worked out how we wanted. But you have to believe me when I tell you that Nightmare Night is one of the most popular celebrations we have.
Princess Luna: Yes. I can tell. By all the adoring shrieks of the children as they run away.
Twilight Sparkle: Princess...
Ponies: [whimpering and crying]
Pinkie Pie: [chicken squawking] [shriek]
Twilight Sparkle: No! No shrieking. No squealing or screaming either. Okay?
Pinkie Pie: [muffled] Okay.
Twilight Sparkle: There's something I want you to see. And I promise that it's safe, but you really, really, really can't shriek. Do you promise not to shriek?
Pinkie Pie: Mm-hmm. [chicken squawk]
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie, you remember Princess Luna, right?
Princess Luna: Ah. The ringleader of the frightened children. Hast thou come to make peace?
Pinkie Pie: Nightmare Moon! [chicken squawk]
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow!
Rainbow Dash: [laughter]
Twilight Sparkle: She's changed, Pinkie! She's not evil or scary anymore! And she definitely doesn't want to gobble you up!
Pinkie Pie: Well, duh.
Twilight Sparkle: Huh?
Pinkie Pie: I know that. Sheesh, Twilight. I'm almost as big as her, how's she gonna gobble me up?
Twilight Sparkle: So why do you keep running away and screaming?
Pinkie Pie: Sometimes it's just really fun to be scared!
Twilight Sparkle: Fun? Pinkie Pie, you're a genius!
Pinkie Pie: No, I'm not. I'm a chicken. [chicken squawk]
Twilight Sparkle: Princess Luna! I've finally figured out why you're having so much trouble being liked!
Princess Luna: [deadpan] Forgive me if I withhold my enthusiasm.
Twilight Sparkle: Come with me. I'll explain everything on the way.
Pipsqueak: Gosh. I never thought my very first Nightmare Night would be my very last.
Zecora: Come, little Pip. Now don't you fret. Nightmare Night's not over yet. We still have candy left to give, so Nightmare Moon might let us live.
Mayor Mare: Yes. Come on, little ponies. What's Nightmare Night without the annual candy offering? You don't want Nightmare Moon to gobble you up, do you?
Spike: Aw, the rainbow wig just kills it for me.
Applejack: Come on, kids! Doesn't that sound like fun?
Pipsqueak: Goodbye, Nightmare Night. Forever.
[wind whistling]
Nightmare Moon: [booming voice] Citizens of Ponyville! You were wise to bring this candy to me. I am pleased with your offering. So pleased that I may just eat it... instead of eating you!
Ponies: [scream]
Princess Luna: [spit] I am not certain that did what you meant for it to do, Twilight Sparkle.
Twilight Sparkle: Just wait.
Princess Luna: For what? For... for them to scream some more?
Pipsqueak: Um... Princess Luna. I know there's not gonna be any more Nightmare Night, but do you suppose maybe you could come back next year and scare us again anyway?
Princess Luna: Child. Art thou saying that thou... likest me to scare you?
Pipsqueak: It's really fun! Scary, but fun!
Princess Luna: It... is?
Pipsqueak: Yeah! Nightmare Night is my favorite night of the year.
Princess Luna: Well then. We shall have to bring [booming voice] Nightmare Night back!
Pipsqueak: Whoa! You're my favorite princess ever! [to foals] She said yes, guys!
Foals: YAY!
Twilight Sparkle: See? They really do like you, princess.
Princess Luna: Can it be true? [thunder, booming voice] Oh, most wonderful of -- [normal voice] I mean... Oh, most wonderful of nights.
Twilight Sparkle: Dear Princess Celestia,
When you first sent me to Ponyville, I didn't know anything about friendship. I met somepony tonight who was having the same problem -- your sister, Princess Luna! She taught me that one of the best things you can do with friendship is to give it to others, and help them find it themselves! And I'm happy to report that all of Ponyville has learned that even if somepony seems a little intimidating, even scary, when you offer them your friendship, you'll discover a whole new pony underneath. And even if my Star Swirl the Bearded costume didn't go over, this still turned out to be the best Nightmare Night ever!
[lightning zap]
Rainbow Dash: [scream]
Princess Luna: [laughter]
Spike and Twilight Sparkle: [laughter]