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Episode Magic is Ahoof; Journey to the Center of the 'Cord
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[theme song]

Magic is Ahoof

Rarity: [sighs] Our play went over swimmingly! Exactly as planned!
Rainbow Dash: Rarity, what are you talking about? Every single prop in our Play Day play vanished before our very eyes.
Rarity: And I got three consecutive standing ovations! Which is exactly the number my horse-oscope predicted.
Rest of Mane Six: [groan]
Rarity: [sniffs, sighs] Roses. The winner's flower.
Rest of Mane Six: [gasp]
Rarity: [yelps] Fine. I promise I'll share.
Twilight Sparkle: Hmmm. No lingering trace of our items. No signs of scientific eradication.
Applejack: You're gonna have to explain to us soon what in the hoof you just said.
Twilight Sparkle: That all of our items have been cleanly transported with a special kind of magic... Chaos magic!
Rest of Mane Six: [gasp]
Fluttershy: It does seem to have gotten out of control lately.
Rarity: This sounds like a case for Detective Rarity!
[film noir music]
Rest of Mane Six: [sounds of confusion]
Rarity: [whistles] I knew a mystery was ahoof when the magic made everything poof!
Fluttershy: Ooh, that's a good line.
Rarity: This mystery will be messing up our manes no more.
Rest of Mane Six: Ooooh...
Pinkie Pie: I know you're a one-pony problem solver, but it's always been my dream to join you on a caper.
Rest of Mane Six: Ooooh...
Pinkie Pie: Also, I know where the magic first got all funky – the Potion Ocean!
Rest of Mane Six: [gasp]
Rarity: [gasps] Then lead the way, Private Eye Pie! We've got some ponies to prod! Some Equestrians to question! Some—
Pinkie Pie: —horsies to hug!
Rarity: Uh— [screams]
Rainbow Dash: Soooo, uh... wait for them at Sugarcube Corner 'til they get back?
Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, and Fluttershy: [agreeing]
Rarity: Hmmm... [sniffing]
Pinkie Pie: Huh?
Rarity: You have to feel the evidence for answers, Pinkie. Really become one with the wonders of the mystery.
Pinkie Pie: Or... we could just ask this pony.
Rarity: [coughs]
[film noir music]
Rarity: Tell me... when was the last time you encountered magic on the sand?
Reuse Pony (M): Uhhh, about three days ago.
Rarity and Pinkie Pie: Oooh!
Reuse Pony (M): There he is. His name is Magic. We met here three days ago, and we've been best friends ever since. Yooo-hooo! Say hello, Magic!
Rarity: [groans] Bobbins.
Magic: [yelling]
Rarity: Tell me... any magical mistakes happen in here?
Librarian Pony: Actually, yes. This book has been glowing with purple dust all morning.
Rarity: Do you see this, P.I. Pie?
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] We're one step closer to solving the mystery?
Rarity: My bookmark's still in here from when I turned this in last week. Also... we're one step closer to solving the mystery!
[film noir music]
Rarity: As I conducted my investigation, one thing became crystal clear.
Applejack: You're crazy for craftin' yarn?
Rest of Mane Six: [laugh]
Rarity: No! But also, yes.
Rest of Mane Six: [laugh]
Rarity: I discovered my pursuit of perplexing magical powers gone kaput was pointless! Because the proof of the problem was present with you ponies!
Rest of Mane Six: [gasp]
Rarity: Actually, I was just about to start by saying—
Rainbow Dash: I'm the reason! I wished for something really big...
Rainbow Dash: [narrating] ...on the Cotton Candy Comet, and it clogged up the cosmos!
Rainbow Dash: [narrating] Now nopony's wishes are being granted!
Rest of Mane Six: [gasp]
Rarity: Actually, I was just about to—
Applejack: My wish didn't come true either!
Rarity: Right, of course. But, uh, I-I kind of had this whole presentation made, so if I could just—
Fluttershy: I was so worried that my wish somehow messed everything up.
Twilight Sparkle: [whimpers] Oh, why did I use my wish on a giant calculator that never came?
Rarity: That's actually what I was getting to. My wish was in the library. I wished for a second sparkly bookmark, and it never came!
Twilight Sparkle: Wait. You said the proof is with us. If none of our wishes came true, then there's no jam.
Rest of Mane Six: [agreeing]
Twilight Sparkle: Hmmm... So another pony messed it up. But who?
Rarity: No, dear Twilight. Isn't it obvious? It was...
Rest of Mane Six: [gasp]
Discord: [laughs maniacally] Oh, it all started weeks ago on a typical Wed-nes-day. I was going about my normal business – a.k.a. wreaking absolute and complete chaos with a total disregard for normalcy – on my weekly stroll. And after I filled all of Rarity's hats with swamp mud...
Rarity: Huh?
Discord: ...I started messing with your wishes.
Discord: [narrating] My mischievous master plan went off without a hitch. But I soon discovered I wanted more.
Discord: Just wait and see what I do with those wishes! It's going to be deliciously out of control! [laughs maniacally, snaps fingers]
Mane Six: [gasp]
Rarity: [faints]
[ominous music]

Journey to the Center of the 'Cord

Pinkie Pie: Here are the cold, hard milkshakes!
Rest of Mane Six: [groan]
Pinkie Pie: I mean, facts. Our wishes have disappeared. Now that we know it was Discord who did the dirty deed, I think it's time we got some—
Applejack and Rainbow Dash: Justice!
Pinkie Pie: I was gonna say "answers", but that works, too.
[rock music]
Rainbow Dash: [whimpers]
[knock on door]
[door opens]
Discord: Hmm? Please come in. Entrez-vous, my four-legged friends.
Fluttershy: Hmph.
Pinkie Pie: Okay, Mr. Discord. We've got questions. You've got—
Discord: Finger sandwiches?
Rarity: [gasps] My hoofness. It's so civilized. But I shan't partake.
Applejack: Well, I'm too polite to turn down a snack.
Applejack: [eating noisily]
Mane Six: [eating noisily]
Discord: So there I was, clutching the guardrails of this rickety little bridge, and the troll said I had to answer his riddle. So I asked the troll a counter-riddle, and when the troll failed to answer said riddle...
Discord: ...he turned into stone! But I couldn't move the stone, so I still couldn't cross the bridge.
Rainbow Dash: So? What did you do?
Discord: [stammers] I went home and listened to a pony-cast about comedic uses for dark magic. Very compelling, actually.
Mane Six: [laugh]
Discord: So, my fair fillies, as to what do I owe the pleasure?
Rarity: Oh. Right. Where might our missing wishes be, Discord dear? We'd really like to know.
Rainbow Dash: Actually, we demand to know!
Rest of Mane Six: [gasp, growl]
Discord: I'll never tell! Never ever! I must ask you to leave posthaste! Goodbye! [snaps fingers]
Mane Six: [yell] Oof!
Pinkie Pie: Well, that didn't work.
Fluttershy: Maybe he was lying about taking our wishes.
Applejack: Not tootin' likely. But I know he's up to somethin'.
Rarity: If only we could get into that big, twisted noodle of a brain and find out what he's thinking.
Fluttershy: [gasps] Rarity, you're a genius!
Fluttershy: [narrating] We should shrink ourselves down, get in Discord's head, and see what's going on with those wishes for ourselves!
Rarity: Let's do it!
Fluttershy: Oh, it's on!
Rest of Mane Six: Yeah!
[exciting music]
[door opens]
Discord: [yawns, sighs] What a lovely morning. Time to gather some swamp mud, make it rain chocolate... Oh! Look! The morning paper. I just adore the funny pages.
Fluttershy: [whispering, high-pitched] Fan out! Tiny pony potion paratroopers, go, go, go!
Discord: Huh. My brain itches. Hmm. Oh, well.
Mane Six: [screaming]
Applejack: Wow. Discord's brain is... tidier than I thought. But this maze is still mighty confusin'. How will we know where to find his memories? Huh?
Rest of Mane Six: [gasp, scream]
Applejack: [whimpers]
Fluttershy: Awww. Maybe this adorable mutant bunny can help us. Hello there.
3-Headed Bunny (Right Head): [hisses]
Rest of Mane Six: [scream]
3-Headed Bunny (Right Head): [clears throat] Sorry. I had a snake for lunch.
3-Headed Bunny (Middle Head): Well, one of us did. Password?
3-Headed Bunny (Left Head): "flutt3rshy", but the "E" is a three.
3-Headed Bunny (Right Head): Uh, no, we changed it last week. We had to add an exclamation point.
3-Headed Bunny (Middle Head): [groans] Not you! Them!
Pinkie Pie: "flutt3rshy!", and the "E" is a three.
3-Headed Bunny (All): You may pass.
Mane Six: [yell]
[shimmering sounds]
Rainbow Dash: Huh?
[doors open]
Rainbow Dash: Hey, everypony! Over there!
Twilight Sparkle and Rarity: [gasp]
Fluttershy: Hmmm... Huh?
Fluttershy: [gasps] Here it is! A catalog of how Discord spent everypony's wishes!
Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie: [gasp]
Fluttershy: [narrating] A million mice, a million mouse traps, more wishes, fewer wishes, the ability to breathe ice instead of fire...
Pinkie Pie: [narrating] apple orchard the size of a planet, a TV show starring me as every character...
Pinkie Pie: Olympic-size pool and an indoor gym...
Fluttershy: Wait! These ones are our wishes! He took them all!
Mane Six: [growling]
Discord: [sneezes]
Mane Six: [yell]
Discord: What in Equestria?! How did you—?! What's going on?
Fluttershy: We're asking the questions, buddy! We know you spent every wish!
Rarity: Including ours!
Fluttershy: Yeah! So what do you plan on doing about it?!
Discord: I plan on... um... offering you another sandwich. And by the way, whatever you did in there, my ears have never felt cleaner.
Mane Six: [growling]
Discord: Aren't I a stinker?