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Episode One Bad Apple
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Apple Bloom: [whining] What to wear, what to wear? Oh, what to wear?!
Applejack: Scoot your boot, Apple Bloom. It's not like it's the Harvest Day Parade! We're just goin' to the train station!
Apple Bloom: Too casual. Too summery.
Applejack: [sigh] Your cousin isn't gonna care what you're wearin'. Just pick somethin'!
Apple Bloom: This is my first time meetin' her, and she's from Manehattan. I wanna make a good impression!
Applejack: You know what would make a good impression?
Apple Bloom: What?
Applejack: Bein' on time to pick her up!
Apple Bloom: [whining]
Applejack: You got nothin' to worry about, sugarcube. Y'all are gonna get along great. You already have somethin' in common.
Apple Bloom: [muffled, through snorkel] Oh, yeah? What's that?
Applejack: Neither of you have your cutie mark.
Apple Bloom: What?! How could you forget to tell me somethin' like that?
Applejack: Well, I–
Apple Bloom: Oh, this changes everything! Meet you at the train station! I'm gonna go tell Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo!
Applejack: You know, your cousin is supposed to sleep in here!
[theme song]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [laughing]
Scootaloo: Do you really think she'll wanna join?
Apple Bloom: She doesn't have her cutie mark. Of course she'll wanna join the Cutie Mark Crusaders!
Sweetie Belle: I'm just so excited I could burst!
[train whistle blows]
Apple Bloom: Is that the train from Manehattan?
Applejack: Yep.
Apple Bloom: That's her! Oh, wait, no, no, that's not her. Oh! No, tha-tha-that's her! Um, no. Oh, wait, tha– that's not her either, uh...
Applejack: Apple Bloom, you've never met Babs Seed, remember?
Apple Bloom: Oh... [laughs nervously] Yeah.
[train lets off steam]
Applejack: Ah, that's her!
Apple Bloom: Babs! Babs! It's me, your cousin, Apple Bloom! And this is Sweetie Belle, and this is Scootaloo, and we are so, so, so glad you're here!
Babs Seed: Thanks, I'm happy to–
Sweetie Belle: This is gonna be the best week of your life!
Babs Seed: Sure hope it's gonna be–
Scootaloo: Seriously, we are gonna have a blast.
Applejack: [laughs]
Sweetie Belle: The Summer Harvest Parade's going on while you're here! You'll get to ride in a float!
Babs Seed: Really? I've never been on a float before.
Apple Bloom: And we've got a really big surprise for you!
Babs Seed: Yeah... uh... a surprise?
Apple Bloom: I give you... the Cutie Mark Crusaders Clubhouse!
Babs Seed: The Cutie Mark Crusaders?
Scootaloo: A club devoted to helping ponies get their cutie marks! We're its founding members.
Sweetie Belle: Technically, we're its only members.
Apple Bloom: But we're always looking to expand, and you seem like the perfect candidate!
Babs Seed: I do?
Scootaloo: Well, yeah, since you don't have a cutie mark and all.
Babs Seed: Oh, yeah... [blows] That...
Apple Bloom: Allow me to show you just some of the highlights of our clubhouse, should you choose to join us. This is where we do our roll call...
Sweetie Belle: Huh.
Apple Bloom: This is where we eat our lunch...
Sweetie Belle: [munching]
Apple Bloom: Sometimes we stand here and think of great ideas.
Babs Seed: Yeah, uh...
Apple Bloom: Uh, could you excuse us for a moment?
Babs Seed: Sure...
Apple Bloom: [hushed] Thought she'd be more impressed.
Sweetie Belle: [hushed] She's from Manehattan. If we wanna impress her, we need to really wow her!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Hmmmm.
Scootaloo: [gasps] [hushed] The float! She can ride with us on our Summer Harvest Parade float!
Apple Bloom: [hushed] That's perfect! This really is a good spot for thinking up great ideas.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Mm-hmm.
Apple Bloom: Here it is! The official Cutie Mark Crusaders float for the Summer Harvest Parade!
Scootaloo: As a member of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, you'd be able to ride on it with us! It'd be totally fun.
Babs Seed: [laughs nervously]
Diamond Tiara: More like funny...
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon: ...looking! [laughing]
Silver Spoon: What is that thing, a giant orange?
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon: [laughing]
Apple Bloom: It's a pumpkin.
Diamond Tiara: More like a lame-kin.
Silver Spoon: [laughs]
Diamond Tiara: Who's the new blank flank?
Apple Bloom: She's mah cousin, Babs. She's from Manehattan!
Diamond Tiara: Manehattan, huh? Well, I guess you have that going for you.
Silver Spoon: Suppose you're gonna join their little club? What's it called? The [mockingly] Cutie Mark Crusaders?
Babs Seed: [blows] More like the Cutie Mahk Crybabies! [derisive chuckle]
Apple Bloom: Hey!!
Diamond Tiara: Oooo, heh, big city attitude! I like it!
Silver Spoon: Mm-hmm!
Babs Seed: Oh, yeah? Well there's more where that came from! Check this out! [grunts]
Scootaloo: Oh no, she didn't!
Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, and Babs Seed: [laughs]
[creaking, rolling, crashing]
Babs Seed: Looks like somepony's pumpkin just got squashed!
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon: [laughs]
Apple Bloom: When ah tell Applejack–
Babs Seed: You gonna tell Applejack what?
Apple Bloom: W-well, y'know, uh...
Babs Seed: What're you, a snitch?
Diamond Tiara: Come on, Babs, you should hang with us! Y'know, the cool ponies, not these babies!
Apple Bloom: What... just happened?
Scootaloo: I think Babs just went to the dark side.
Sweetie Belle: We have to tell Applejack!
Apple Bloom: No! We're not snitches!
Scootaloo: Yeah! And we're not babies!
Sweetie Belle: Then... why do I feel like crying?
Scootaloo: I still can't believe she ruined our pumpkin float.
Apple Bloom: I still can't believe I'm related to such a big stinkin' bully!
Sweetie Belle: [sighs] What are we gonna do?
Apple Bloom: We're gonna build a new float, that's what.
Scootaloo: Why bother? She'll probably just ruin that one, too.
Apple Bloom: [sighs]
Sweetie Belle: We could always tell Applejack.
Babs Seed: [echoing] What are you, a snitch?
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo: No!
Sweetie Belle: [groans]
Apple Bloom: We're not gonna be a bunch of tattle-tales! Besides, she's only here a couple of weeks. We'll just avoid her like the plague until she goes home.
Scootaloo: Avoid her. Yeah, how hard can that be?
[Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo]
Yeah, yeah, yeah 
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
[Apple Bloom]
First, we thought that Babs was so really, really sweet
A new friend to have, and it seemed like such a treat
But then, we found the truth; she's just a bully from the east
She went from Babs, yeah, to a bully and a beast
[Apple Bloom]
Everywhere we turn, she's just a step ahead
[Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo]
Babs Seed, Babs Seed, what we gonna do?
Got a bully on our tail
Gotta hide, we gotta bail
Babs Seed, Babs Seed, if she's after you
Gotta run, we gotta flee
Gotta hurry, don't you see?
Babs Seed, Babs Seed, she's just a bad, bad seed
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
[Apple Bloom]
Hiding from a bully, we know it isn't right
But the Cutie Mark Crusaders, we aren't lookin' for a fight
Oh, she'll go home soon, and then we'll have some peace again
But for now, we're staying out of her way 'til then
[Apple Bloom]
Everywhere we turn, she's just a step ahead
[Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo]
Babs Seed, Babs Seed, what we gonna do?
Got a bully on our tail
Gotta hide, we gotta bail
Babs Seed, Babs Seed, if she's after you
Gotta run, we gotta flee
Gotta hurry, don't you see?
Why so mean? Why so crude?
Why so angry? Why so rude?
Can't you be nice? Can't we be friends?
Isn't it sad? Is this how it all ends?
Babs Seed, Babs Seed, she's just a bad, bad-
Babs Seed, Babs Seed, she's just a bad, bad-
Babs Seed, Babs Seed-
She's just a bad, bad seed!
Apple Bloom: Babs may have run us out of town, but at least we still have the club–
Babs Seed: Hey! What're you doing at my clubhouse?
Scootaloo: Y- y- your clubhouse?! This is our clubhouse!
Babs Seed: Well, it was yours, and now it's mine.
Silver Spoon: And mine.
Diamond Tiara: And mine.
Apple Bloom: That's not fair, Babs! We never did anything to you!
Babs Seed: And let's keep it that way. Now scram, crybabies!
Babs Seed, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon: Bump, bump, sugar-lump, rump!
Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, and Babs Seed: [laughing]
Sweetie Belle: [takes deep breaths] [wails]
Sweetie Belle: [crying]
Apple Bloom: That Babs has really gone too far this time!
Scootaloo: Kicked out of our own clubhouse!
Apple Bloom: And my own bed!
Scootaloo: Seriously?
Apple Bloom: Super-seriously.
Sweetie Belle: We need to talk to Applejack.
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo: No!
Sweetie Belle: Rarity?
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo: No!
Sweetie Belle: Twilight?
Apple Bloom: No, no, no! We need to fight back!
Scootaloo: Yeah! Fight back! How're we gonna do that?
[Pinkie's polka begins playing in background]
Apple Bloom: [gasp] By makin' her the guest of honor at the Summer Harvest Parade!
Scootaloo: [gasps] Yeah! Wait, what?
Apple Bloom: [laughs under her breath] When you look up 'embarrassed' in the dictionary... [deep breath] Her face will be there!
Babs Seed: [snoring]
Sweetie Belle: Moo! Moo!
[cow chewing]
Sweetie Belle: Moo! Moo!
Babs Seed: Aheh... [resumes snoring]
Apple Bloom: Are those from the Carousel Boutique?
Sweetie Belle: Yup.
Apple Bloom: Excellent.
Scootaloo: [blows]
Sweetie Belle: Ooh!
Scootaloo: Luster dust from Sugarcube Corner. They use it for decorating cakes.
Sweetie Belle: That must be what Rarity uses on her emergency edible boots!
Scootaloo: The gears and bands for the moving mechanism, my tools and stuff... Did you bring the thing from the place?
Sweetie Belle: What's that?
Apple Bloom: Granny Smith's kitchen timer.
Sweetie Belle: What's that for?
Scootaloo: [sing-song voice] You'll see! [giggles]
Apple Bloom: C'mon, y'all, let's get to it. We only got a few hours before mornin', and this thing has to look so good, Babs won't be able to resist wanting to ride in it!
[A-Team-like music]
[scissors cutting]
Sweetie Belle: [yawns] Is this it?
Scootaloo: [tired] I think... we're a go.
Sweetie Belle: [tired] Good, 'cause we'd better get out of here before Babs finds us.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [tired] Cutie Mark Crusaders, ho!
[Pinkie's polka plays in background]
"Roma": Hot carrot crêpes! Get 'em here, get 'em hot!
Spike: [licks lips]
[wrench noises]
Babs Seed: [blows] Whoaaaa...
Sweetie Belle: Isn't it smashing? No! I-I didn't mean smashing! I mean... Isn't it a hit? No! No, I- No! No hitting! I meant–
Scootaloo: Well, don't even think about riding it, Babs.
Sweetie Belle: Ow!
[motor running]
Scootaloo: You had your chance.
Babs Seed: See ya later, Cutie Mark Crybabies!
[door slams]
Apple Bloom: [hushed] The timer set?
Sweetie Belle: Teach her to fool with the Cutie Mark Crusaders!
Applejack: Y'all are letting Babs ride in your golden apple float?
Apple Bloom: Yeah. We thought she deserved to be the... center of attention.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [giggling]
Applejack: Well, that's just super sweet of y'all, makin' Babs feel so special. Y'know, after all the heartache she's been havin' in Manehattan.
Apple Bloom: Heartache?
Applejack: Well, I didn't say nothin' 'cause I didn't want her to feel singled out, but there's been some bullies back in Manehattan just been teasin' her to pieces for her blank flank.
Apple Bloom: T-t-t-teased?
Sweetie Belle: B-Bullies?!
Applejack: Yup. She came up to the farm to get away from all her problems back home. I'm so proud of y'all. You've done a good deed.
[balloons deflating]
Scootaloo: So that's why she jumped in when Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon started giving us a hard time.
Apple Bloom: She didn't want to be bullied like at home, so she decided to be a bully instead!
Sweetie Belle: And now we've turned into bullies too!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: What do we do?!
[crowd cheering]
Diamond Tiara: Nice float, Babs.
Babs Seed: Snagged it from those whiny baby blank flanks.
Diamond Tiara: Too cool for mule, Babs.
Mule: [brays]
Apple Bloom: We gotta stop that float!
[kitchen timer ticking]
[band playing very loudly]
Apple Bloom: [almost inaudible] Applejack, quick you have to–
Applejack: Huh?
Apple Bloom: [almost inaudible] Quick, you have to help us–
Applejack: What?
[band stops]
Apple Bloom: We booby-trapped it!
[band suddenly starts again]
Scootaloo: Babs! Bully! Payback! No time to explain! We've just gotta get Babs out of that float!
[kitchen timer ticking]
Spectator: Oof, my popcorn!
Apple Bloom: Sorry!
Scootaloo: 'Scuse me! Ah, whoops.
Apple Bloom: Whoa!
Scootaloo: Pinkie Pie, let us in! ("lettuce in")
Pinkie Pie: [laughs] Funny joke!
Apple Bloom: No, really! Let- us- in!
Pinkie Pie: Ohhh! Here!
[tires screeching]
[ponies panicking]
Apple Bloom: Babs! You gotta get out of that float!
Babs Seed: You're not getting your float back, crybabies!
Sweetie Belle: But it's booby tra–
Pinkie Pie: Veggie salad!
Apple Bloom: Huh?
Pinkie Pie: Veggie salad!
Pinkie Pie: [sighs] Veggie salad. [munching]
Apple Bloom: Seriously?
[engine driving away]
Pinkie Pie: Hey! Don't leave me! [laughs] Leaf me! [laughs]
[kitchen timer ticking]
[kitchen timer ringing]
Babs Seed: What the–
Apple Bloom: Babs! Babs!
Babs Seed: Oof!
Apple Bloom: [yelling] Oooh, sweet applesauce!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [groans of pain]
Apple Bloom: Maybe we'll get our cutie marks in stupidest ideas of all time.
[camera clicking]
Applejack: Are y'all okay?
Sweetie Belle: Yeah... we're fine.
Scootaloo: No sweat.
Babs Seed: After I'd been so mean to ya... you saved me!
Apple Bloom: [sighs] About that...
Babs Seed: I don't get it! I saw it all happen! You pushed me out just when the float was about to head into the lake!
Scootaloo: Except... we were the reason it was headed into the lake.
Sweetie Belle: We booby trapped the float.
Apple Bloom: Y'see Babs, we were tryin' to get you back for bein' a big bully...
Scootaloo: But then Applejack told us about how you were being bullied back in Manehattan.
Sweetie Belle: And we figured out you were just doing it to avoid getting picked on in Ponyville. But, by then... we were the ones being bullies. And... Oh, why does life have to be so ironic?!
Apple Bloom: Guess what we're trying to say is...
Cutie Mark Crusaders: We're sorry.
Babs Seed: [blows] I'm sorry too.
Applejack: [sighs] Y'know, this all could've been avoided if y'all just came to me in the very beginning.
Sweetie Belle: That's what I kept on saying!
Babs Seed: So... can we... start over?
Apple Bloom: Definitely.
Scootaloo: Yeah.
[Scootaloo playing timpani]
Sweetie Belle: "We, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, elect Babs Seed to join us as a sister, friend, confidaynte, alley, boss-om buddy, gal pal, compader, chum of chums..."
Scootaloo: [clears throat]
Sweetie Belle: Well you wrote this.
Scootaloo: Oh, uh, yeah...
Sweetie Belle: "Homegirl... Amiga..." Blah blah blah blah blah. Oh, yes, here. "...and fellow Cutie Mark Crusader! You are solemnly sworn in, here this day, in witness of your fellow sisters, friends, confidantes... boss-om buddies... compadres..."
Scootaloo: Congratulations! [quickly, under her breath] Gotta remember to revise that.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [laughing]
Babs Seed: [blows]
Apple Bloom: So you promise you're gonna start our Manehattan branch of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, right?
Babs Seed: Yeah, and I promise to keep talking to my big sis about the teasing back home.
Applejack: Good. And if you have any problems, we've got your back too, y'hear?
Diamond Tiara: So you're leaving huh? Great! Now we're stuck here with these lame blank flanks.
Babs Seed: Hey! That's not how you talk to my friends!
Silver Spoon: F-friends?
Babs Seed: Yeah, you got a problem with that?
Diamond Tiara: Well, what if I do? What are you gonna do about it?
Babs Seed: Tell your mothers about your bad attitudes!
[pig grunts]
Sweetie Belle: I'm sure gonna miss that bad seed.
Applejack: Bad seed? I thought y'all were friends now?
Sweetie Belle: No, see, first we called her 'bad seed' as in actually a bad seed, but now she's bad as in good. Get it?
Applejack: Yea... No.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [laughing]
[train whistles]