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Episode Planet of the Apps; Back to the Present
Previous Time After Time Capsule; The Great Cowgirl Hat Robbery
Next Magical Mare-story Tour; Life of Pie
TranscriptsGuidelinesEpisode galleryall transcripts on a single page
[theme song]

Planet of the Apps[]

[vortex swirling]
Twilight Sparkle: [screaming]
Rainbow Dash: [screaming, groans] Where are we?
[techno music]
Twilight Sparkle: I don't think we're in Ponyville anymore. [yelps]
Fluttershy: Oh, okay. Take me to your leader! [grunting]
Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash: Fluttershy?!
Fluttershy: [grunting]
[whoosh]
Rainbow Dash: [gasps]
Twilight Sparkle: Wait! If we're gonna rescue Fluttershy, we have to be strategic.
Rainbow Dash: But did you see that robot mind control helmet?! They're trying to make her into one of them!
Twilight Sparkle: All the more reason to have a plan. I think if we—
[beeping]
Pulverizer and Natalie: two more unidentified ponies located. commencing.
Twilight Sparkle: [whimpers]
[zip!]
Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash: [scream, pant, yelp]
Rainbow Dash: Not one step closer, you big metallic monsters!
Pulverizer: monsters?
Pulverizer and Natalie: [laugh robotically]
Natalie: we are mecha-ponies, not monsters. i am a mobile atlas protection sentinel. but you can call me natalie.
Pulverizer: and i'm the pulverizer! warning – i'm a hug machine.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm Twilight Sparkle. And she's Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash: [grumbles]
Natalie: we did not mean to alarm you. we wanted to help.
Rainbow Dash: Like how those other mecha-ponies "helped" our friend by pony-napping her?!
Pulverizer: oh, nanos. a mecha-pony would never.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh. We must've been mistaken. Maybe one of you could help clear things up by taking us to Fluttershy?
Natalie: scanning for fluttershy. fluttershy found. location – sucrose quadrant.
Rainbow Dash: I'll believe it when I see her.
Pulverizer: deception is not in our ponygramming. we will show you.
Natalie: turn left on saccharine street.
Rainbow Dash: Twilight, this is so obviously a trick. Look at them. They're big, shiny, metal, robo-pony-bots who—
Twilight Sparkle: Who are actually pretty friendly. Let's give them a chance. We need to find Fluttershy.
Fluttershy: Help!
Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash: [gasp]
Fluttershy: Help! I'm stuck!
[zip!]
[beeping]
[error sound]
Twilight Sparkle: It's locked!
Rainbow Dash: I'll fly up and see if I can spot another way in!
[whooshing]
Twilight Sparkle: Hmm. This shape looks familiar.
[beep]
[whirring]
Twilight Sparkle: Whoa! [yelling]
Rainbow Dash: Twilight!
Twilight Sparkle: [yelps]
[clunk!]
Rainbow Dash: [yells, groans]
[whirring]
Rainbow Dash: [yelps]
[clunk!]
Rainbow Dash: I knew it! This is a trap!
Pulverizer: oh, sorry. some mecha-pony must have tripped on the circuit.
[click]
Rainbow Dash: Wait. This is Sugarcube Corner.
Pulverizer: we know it as sucrose quadrant. owned and operated by qt-pi3.
QT-PI3: [giggling]
Rainbow Dash: "Sucrose"? "Sugarcube"? Wow! Whoa! It's almost the same on the inside!
Fluttershy: Oh, help! Help!
Rainbow Dash: Fluttershy! I'm coming!
[whoosh]
Rainbow Dash: Oof! [groans] Oh, no! I'm too late! They've made you into their mecha-pony queen!
Fluttershy: Rainbow Dash! Did you come to play, too? This V.R. game feels so real.
Rainbow Dash: You mean you haven't been assimilated yet? What about their leader?
Fluttershy: The leaderboard for this game is great. I bet you could get first place like Twilight did.
Twilight Sparkle: [eating noisily] Oh, there you are! These computer chip cookies are so good! [eating noisily]
Rainbow Dash: So you weren't pony-napped?
Twilight Sparkle: [laughs] Uh-uh.
Fluttershy: [giggles]
Rainbow Dash: Oops.
Rainbow Dash: I'm sorry I was so quick to judge you based off the way you look. Just because a mecha-pony is scary on the outside doesn't mean you're scary on the inside.
Natalie: affirmative. friends?
Rainbow Dash: [groaning] Ugh! [strained] Yup. A real hug machine.
Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy: [laugh]
Pulverizer: great. now that we are all friends...
[zip!]
Pulverizer: ...let us play this new game.
Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash: [gasp]
Pulverizer: the ts-83.
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] It's my calculator. I think we need it to get back home. But they think it's a game. What are we gonna do?
Rainbow Dash: Don't worry. I have a plan. Sorry, Pulverizer. That's not a game. It's Twilight's calculator.
Twilight Sparkle: [giggles nervously]
Rainbow Dash: Do you think we could have it back?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh!
Rainbow Dash: That's right. My plan was just to ask.
Twilight Sparkle: Brilliant move. Looks like our next one should be to head home.
[click]
[zapping sounds]
[vortex swirling]
Rainbow Dash: Thank you. I hope we see you again one day in the future.
Twilight Sparkle: Bye!
Fluttershy: Bye-bye!
Pulverizer and Natalie: [laugh robotically]
[zip!]
[vortex swirling]
Pulverizer and Natalie: [laugh robotically] you'll be back. [laugh robotically]

Back to the Present[]

Pinkie Pie: Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Yeah! [giggling and whooping] This is just like my favorite ride at the Ponyville Fair – the Terrorizer!
Rarity: This is messing up my mane! And I don't care!
Applejack: [whooping]
Twilight Sparkle: Yippee! [giggles]
Fluttershy: [giggles]
Rainbow Dash: Faster!
Pinkie Pie: Isn't this fun?
Mane Six: [yelling]
Mane Six: [grunting, groan]
Fluttershy: [sighs] We're finally home.
[squirrel chitters angrily]
[zip!]
[alarm clock rings]
Pinkie Pie: My hoofness! We're eleven minutes late to open the shop!
[zip!]
[keys jingling]
Pinkie Pie: Nope. Uh, nope. Nope. Did the portal warp all my keys? Can somepony go around back and check the gate?
Twilight Sparkle: Hey, wait a minute. What is this?
Pinkie Pie: Salad Bowl Junction? What happened to Sugarcube Corner? It's a healthy food restaurant now? They... [gasps] ...don't even have dessert options?!
Rest of Mane Six: [gasp]
[pop!]
[poof!]
Pinkie Pie: Something fishy is going on. We'd better do some investi—
Rarity: Yes?
Pinkie Pie: ...-gating.
Reuse Pony: Yeah, no, I heard you. I just don't think the deal is worth signing. Sure, the perks are nice, but—
[beep]
Reuse Pony: Oh. Hang on, I gotta split. I got another call.
[beep]
Reuse Pony: Dolores! My dear, it's been ages! How are Enid and Josiah holding up?
Mane Six: [laugh]
Twilight Sparkle: He's as batty as a cave! [laughs, sighs]
[ponies chattering]
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, things are not normal here.
[music]
Mane Six: [gasp]
Applejack: Huh?
Mane Six and Alternate Six: Huh?
Rainbow Dash: [stammering]
[whoosh]
Rainbow Dash: Hmm...
Mane Six: [gasp, scream]
[boom!]
[cool music]
Lightning Chill: Welcome to Salad Bowl Junction.
[squirrel chitters]
Lightning Chill: What can I get tossin' for ya? Our salad special today is called "Sprout, Sprout, Let It All Out".
[squirrel belches]
Pinkie Pie: Ugh! This is my shop! We sell cupcakes!
Lightning Chill: Uh, no, cupcake. This here is my shop. And we sell salads.
Rest of Mane Six: [gasp]
Lightning Chill: [laughs] I'm just kidding.
Mane Six: Huh?
Lightning Chill: Chill, chill. I'm sorry. You ponies looked so mad. Please sit down. Zen out.
Rainbow Dash: Okay, we don't know what you're talking about. We want answers!
Rest of Mane Six: Yeah!
[thunder]
Lightning Chill: I'm Lightning Chill. And these are my friends Echo... (Echo) ...and Sugar Snap. We have all kinds of answers.
Rarity: Goodness. Look at your style. Aren't you three just a walk on the wild side?
Lightning Chill: Are we wild? So I've seen wilder. So what's goin' on? What can we do you for?
Echo: Tell us everything, and maybe we can help. We're helpers!
Pinkie Pie: Okay, well, you might want to sit down. It's a looooong story. It all started when I was...
[fast-forwarding]
Pinkie Pie: [panting]
Lightning Chill: Well, that was quite a pony tale. If you're looking for a portal, we'll help you look. But first, you gotta try one of our salads.
Mane Six: Uh...
Fluttershy: [chomps] Mmm. This is actually pretty good.
Twilight Sparkle: [munching] Try some, Pinkie.
Pinkie Pie: I can't! It's just too salad-y! Ugh!
Rest of Mane Six: Huh?
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, that's your mixing bowl!
Echo: It wants you to try the salad! ...I think.
Pinkie Pie: [whimpers] Ahhhh... [gasps] I can't believe it. It's... delicious!
Mane Six: [gasp]
[vortex swirling]
Mane Six: [yelling]
Mane Six: [yelling] Ugh!
Twilight Sparkle: Hey! We're home! I think.
[door opens]
Reuse Pony: Okay. [laughs]
Mane Six: [cheer]
[vortex swirling]
Mane Six: Huh?
[cool music]
Lightning Chill: Whoa. I guess the portal wanted us to take a walk... on the mild side.
Mane Six and Wild Siders: [laugh]
Pinkie Pie: Come on! Salad cupcakes for everypony!
[squirrel chitters, belches]
[credits]
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