Pinkie Pie: Hold on! A spritz of sweet cream will make it even splendider.
Twilight Sparkle: [slurping]
Pinkie Pie: [yells] Hold your horses!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps, yelps]
[zip!]
Pinkie Pie: I made toffee cupcake toppers for each and every one. Well? What are you waiting for? Drink it up before they melt.
Rest of Mane Six: [slurp]
Applejack: [gulps] Pinkie Pie, these milkshakes sure are the motor to my mosey.
Fluttershy: But what's the special occasion?
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] You mean you ponies forgot?!
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: [sighs] We're hosting Ponyville Play Day this year!
Rest of Mane Six: Ohhhh.
Twilight Sparkle: The holiday created to mark the one day that's furthest from all the other holidays.
Rainbow Dash: Last year, when Trixie hosted it, it was amazingly incredible!
Fluttershy: This year, we have to make ours even better!
Rainbow Dash: Especially since the Wild Siders are here.
Pinkie Pie: Maybe I can serve up some of my monster milkshakes!
[milkshake growls]
Rarity: Or maybe, for Play Day, we should actually put on a play!
Rest of Mane Six: [cheer]
Rarity: The pressure's on! What play shall we pick to perform?
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! Something heavy on the prop comedy? [chomps]
Twilight Sparkle: Or one scientifically proven to spark super-fun celebration?
Rarity: Or a multi-part melodrama with a cast of at least twelve!
Rainbow Dash: But, Rarity, we're only six ponies.
Rarity: All right, you've twisted my hoof. I'll play seven roles myself!
Rest of Mane Six: [sounds of excitement]
Twilight Sparkle: I know! Let's pitch our plays to the Wild Siders, and they'll decide!
Rest of Mane Six: [cheer]
Twilight Sparkle: Good evening, Wild Siders. May I present... the Mane Six!
Wild Siders: [cheer]
Applejack: Welcome to Ponyville Play Day! Where each day is met with a rootin'-tootin' rhythm! Hit it!
[piano playing]
[Applejack]
[singing]
I am a pony, and it's my day to play
I say "hooray", for it's Play Day!
Yay!
Wild Siders: [cheering]
[zip!]
Rainbow Dash: But wait! There's more!
[whooshing]
Rainbow Dash: [panting] This is going to be... [gasps] ...a stage adaptation of... [gasps] ...the true story of... [gasps] ...the fastest pony in Ponyville! [panting]
[crash!]
Wild Siders: [gasp]
Rarity: Not so fast, ponies. This very special production will be performed... in the round! That means both the stage and the audience are the stage!
[zip!]
Rarity: I shall be playing Pon-tine, the innocent daughter of the banker. [deep voice] And I'll also be playing Pon-tiffe, the banker.
[splat!]
Pinkie Pie: That's all well and good, ponies. But what this play really needs is some sweet, sweet slapstick.
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, you're making a mess. How are we gonna clean this before my Play Day presentation about important topics? Like the stars in our solar system and... and... other serious stuff!
Applejack: Or my holiday history hoedown honoring the Play Day tradition?
Rainbow Dash: [panting, groans]
[French music]
Twilight Sparkle: Your play's... about a box?
[beat]
Applejack: It's a play about multiple boxes?
Fluttershy: [sighs] It's a play about the Ponyville bicentennial and the founding of our town through the eyes of its original members.
Pinkie Pie: Oh, mm-hmm. That was my next guess. But, [terse laugh] back to my play.
Mane Six: [arguing]
Lightning Chill: Hey, hey, hey, hey! Chill out, pony dudes! What are you even arguing about? This play's already got it all. The beginning with the musical...
Applejack: [chuckles]
Sugar Snap: The melodrama in the middle...
Rarity: [giggles]
Echo: The pies! Comedy pies!
Pinkie Pie: [giggles]
Lightning Chill: It's like six gnarly plays in one. Like some kind of hip super-play!
Applejack: Wow. I hadn't even thought of that.
Mane Six: [agreeing]
Pinkie Pie: [chewing]
[French music]
Echo: Huh?
Mane Six sans Fluttershy: [sounds of confusion]
Fluttershy: A perfect depiction of the strengths of our friendships and our Ponyville town pride.
Rest of Mane Six: Ohhhh.
Mane Six and Wild Siders: [laughing]
The Shows Must Go On[]
Pinkie Pie: [humming]
Rarity: Hmmm. Paint – check.
Twilight Sparkle: [grunting]
Rarity: Props – check. Hmmm. Have you seen my teapot?
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe we left it behind.
Rarity: As the lead star in A Neigh in the Life, I must have my teapot.
Applejack: I reckon we should double-check the wagon then.
[clattering]
Rarity: Ah, there you are. Wait. Is that a crack?! Alas, poor teapot! I knew you well! You hath brewed for me a thousand times, and now—! Oh, wait. It was just lint.
Curtain Call: I've been looking for a grand actress like yourself to perform in my new stage show I Trot Along.
Rarity: [babbles]
Assistant: Curtain Call, you're needed on stage!
Curtain Call: That's my cue. You're going to be the best "Tree Number Two" there is, Clarity! See you at rehearsal!
Fluttershy: Need a hoof finding your teapot?
Rarity: Did you know Curtain Call, Applewood director extraordinaire, is here to debut his new play?!
Pinkie Pie: Yeah. They're in the theater right across from us.
Rarity: And he wants me to play a part in it! My big break has finally arrived!
Sugar Snap: [sighs] It's a shame our plays are on the same night. [echoing] Same night... Same night... Same night...
Rarity: [whimpers]
[poof!]
Shoulder Angel Rarity 1: Don't worry! Just put on a happy face!
[creak!]
Shoulder Angel Rarity 1: Perfect!
[poof!]
Rarity: Huh?
Shoulder Angel Rarity 2: This is a big opportunity that's knocking! So answer the door and say "yes" to the dress rehearsal!
Rarity: You're absolutely right. I can take on both parts. Besides, how many lines could a tree even have?
Sugar Snap: Heya, Rarity! Do you think we could do a read-through together before I help with the lights?
Rarity: I don't think I'll have time. I'm already busy rehearsing for both plays, and well—
[chiming]
Rarity: Oh! That's probably my agent. I had him e-mail me my new schedule. Hmmm... There's a bit of an overlap during rehearsal. But [scoffs] nothing I shouldn't be able to handle. I am, after all, an actor.
[fast music]
Rarity: [clears throat]
[watch chimes]
Rarity: [yells, panting]
[doors open]
Rarity: [panting, laughs nervously]
[watch chimes]
Rarity: Oh, no!
[zip!]
Makeup Ponies: Huh?
Rarity: [panting]
[splash!]
Rainbow Dash: Oops.
[watch chimes]
[zip!]
Rarity: [panting and groaning, whimpers]
Rarity: From the top of scene five. "I am the tree." [clears throat] Oh, sorry, let me try that again. "I am the tree!"
Sugar Snap: You're the what?
Rarity: Oh. How could I be such a silly filly? I was reading from the wrong play.
[chiming]
Rarity: Oh, it's an update from Curtain Call. Uh, [reading] "Charity, congratulations. Your role as Tree Number Two has been extended, and you will now be onstage for the entire play"?! [faints] There's no way now I can be in both plays at once. This big break feels more like a big headache!
[poof!]
Shoulder Angel Rarity 1: Think of the exposure!
Shoulder Angel Rarity 2: The show must go on!
Shoulder Angel Rarity 1: One of them must happen without her.
Shoulder Angel Rarity 2: Ah, friends come and go.
Shoulder Angel Rarity 1: But one-night shows are forever!
Shoulder Angel Rarity 2: Should we ask her what she thinks?
Shoulder Angel Rarity 1: No! She knows the role she was born to play!
[poof!]
Rarity: [whines]
[whirring]
Rarity: Ponies, lend me your ears! It is with great sadness that I have decided to leave our production of A Neigh in the Life. Parting is such sweet sorrow. But Sugar Snap will be a great replacement as she's an amazing understudy. I will now make my exit stage left.
Sugar Snap: Everypony's gonna be so excited that I fixed the house lights when they get back from lunch!
Gummy: [chomping]
[ponies chattering]
Rarity: "I am the tree." "I am the tree!"
[knock on door]
Rarity: Huh? [reading] "Due to unforeseen magical events, our performance has been... cancelled"?! No! That can't be right! Must be right.
Applejack and Fluttershy: [laughing]
Rarity: Soooo... a funny thing happened on the way to the theater. The Crystal Globe is reopening as an aquarium. But even if it wasn't, I know that leaving our play was selfish of me. And that is why I believe Sugar Snap should keep the role that I so carelessly cast aside. And now, I shall be out of the play!
Sugar Snap: Actually, I have a better idea. Let's split the role.
[applause]
Sugar Snap: What do you say, Rarity?
Rarity: I gracefully accept.
Rest of Mane Six: [cheer]
Sugar Snap: So can we finally do that read-through?