Transcripts/Playwright or Wrong; The Shows Must Go On

Playwright or Wrong; The Shows Must Go On

Transcript
Episode	Playwright or Wrong; The Shows Must Go On
Previous	Lolly-Pop; Little Miss Fortune
Next	The De-Stress Ball; Mad Props
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[theme song]

Playwright or Wrong

[shaking]

Applejack: Those look delicious, Pinkie Pie!

Pinkie Pie: Hold on! A spritz of sweet cream will make it even splendider.

Twilight Sparkle: [slurping]

Pinkie Pie: [yells] Hold your horses!

Twilight Sparkle: [gasps, yelps]

[zip!]

Pinkie Pie: I made toffee cupcake toppers for each and every one. Well? What are you waiting for? Drink it up before they melt.

Rest of Mane Six: [slurp]

Applejack: [gulps] Pinkie Pie, these milkshakes sure are the motor to my mosey.

Fluttershy: But what's the special occasion?

Pinkie Pie: [gasps] You mean you ponies forgot?!

[beat]

Pinkie Pie: [sighs] We're hosting Ponyville Play Day this year!

Rest of Mane Six: Ohhhh.

Twilight Sparkle: The holiday created to mark the one day that's furthest from all the other holidays.

Rainbow Dash: Last year, when Trixie hosted it, it was amazingly incredible!

Fluttershy: This year, we have to make ours even better!

Rainbow Dash: Especially since the Wild Siders are here.

Pinkie Pie: Maybe I can serve up some of my monster milkshakes!

[milkshake growls]

Rarity: Or maybe, for Play Day, we should actually put on a play!

Rest of Mane Six: [cheer]

Rarity: The pressure's on! What play shall we pick to perform?

Pinkie Pie: Ooh! Something heavy on the prop comedy? [chomps]

Twilight Sparkle: Or one scientifically proven to spark super-fun celebration?

Rarity: Or a multi-part melodrama with a cast of at least twelve!

Rainbow Dash: But, Rarity, we're only six ponies.

Rarity: All right, you've twisted my hoof. I'll play seven roles myself!

Rest of Mane Six: [sounds of excitement]

Twilight Sparkle: I know! Let's pitch our plays to the Wild Siders, and they'll decide!

Rest of Mane Six: [cheer]

Twilight Sparkle: Good evening, Wild Siders. May I present... the Mane Six!

Wild Siders: [cheer]

Applejack: Welcome to Ponyville Play Day! Where each day is met with a rootin'-tootin' rhythm! Hit it!

[piano playing]

[Applejack]

[singing]

I am a pony, and it's my day to play

I say "hooray", for it's Play Day!

Yay!

Wild Siders: [cheering]

[zip!]

Rainbow Dash: But wait! There's more!

[whooshing]

Rainbow Dash: [panting] This is going to be... [gasps] ...a stage adaptation of... [gasps] ...the true story of... [gasps] ...the fastest pony in Ponyville! [panting]

[crash!]

Wild Siders: [gasp]

Rarity: Not so fast, ponies. This very special production will be performed... in the round! That means both the stage and the audience are the stage!

[zip!]

Rarity: I shall be playing Pon-tine, the innocent daughter of the banker. [deep voice] And I'll also be playing Pon-tiffe, the banker.

[splat!]

Pinkie Pie: That's all well and good, ponies. But what this play really needs is some sweet, sweet slapstick.

[splat!]

Pinkie Pie: [chomps] Mmmm! [eating noisily, gulps]

Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, you're making a mess. How are we gonna clean this before my Play Day presentation about important topics? Like the stars in our solar system and... and... other serious stuff!

Applejack: Or my holiday history hoedown honoring the Play Day tradition?

Rainbow Dash: [panting, groans]

[French music]

Twilight Sparkle: Your play's... about a box?

[beat]

Applejack: It's a play about multiple boxes?

Fluttershy: [sighs] It's a play about the Ponyville bicentennial and the founding of our town through the eyes of its original members.

Pinkie Pie: Oh, mm-hmm. That was my next guess. But, [terse laugh] back to my play.

Mane Six: [arguing]

Lightning Chill: Hey, hey, hey, hey! Chill out, pony dudes! What are you even arguing about? This play's already got it all. The beginning with the musical...

Applejack: [chuckles]

Sugar Snap: The melodrama in the middle...

Rarity: [giggles]

Echo: The pies! Comedy pies!

Pinkie Pie: [giggles]

Lightning Chill: It's like six gnarly plays in one. Like some kind of hip super-play!

Applejack: Wow. I hadn't even thought of that.

Mane Six: [agreeing]

Pinkie Pie: [chewing]

[French music]

Echo: Huh?

Mane Six sans Fluttershy: [sounds of confusion]

Fluttershy: A perfect depiction of the strengths of our friendships and our Ponyville town pride.

Rest of Mane Six: Ohhhh.

Mane Six and Wild Siders: [laughing]

The Shows Must Go On

Pinkie Pie: [humming]

Rarity: Hmmm. Paint – check.

Twilight Sparkle: [grunting]

Rarity: Props – check. Hmmm. Have you seen my teapot?

Twilight Sparkle: Maybe we left it behind.

Rarity: As the lead star in A Neigh in the Life, I must have my teapot.

Applejack: I reckon we should double-check the wagon then.

[clattering]

Rarity: Ah, there you are. Wait. Is that a crack?! Alas, poor teapot! I knew you well! You hath brewed for me a thousand times, and now—! Oh, wait. It was just lint.

Curtain Call: [clapping]

Rarity: [gasps]

Curtain Call: That... was... great. Listen, Verity – that's your name, right?

Rarity: [muffles]

Curtain Call: I've been looking for a grand actress like yourself to perform in my new stage show I Trot Along.

Rarity: [babbles]

Assistant: Curtain Call, you're needed on stage!

Curtain Call: That's my cue. You're going to be the best "Tree Number Two" there is, Clarity! See you at rehearsal!

Fluttershy: Need a hoof finding your teapot?

Rarity: Did you know Curtain Call, Applewood director extraordinaire, is here to debut his new play?!

Pinkie Pie: Yeah. They're in the theater right across from us.

Rarity: And he wants me to play a part in it! My big break has finally arrived!

Sugar Snap: [sighs] It's a shame our plays are on the same night. [echoing] Same night... Same night... Same night...

Rarity: [whimpers]

[poof!]

Shoulder Angel Rarity 1: Don't worry! Just put on a happy face!

[creak!]

Shoulder Angel Rarity 1: Perfect!

[poof!]

Rarity: Huh?

Shoulder Angel Rarity 2: This is a big opportunity that's knocking! So answer the door and say "yes" to the dress rehearsal!

Rarity: You're absolutely right. I can take on both parts. Besides, how many lines could a tree even have?

Sugar Snap: Heya, Rarity! Do you think we could do a read-through together before I help with the lights?

Rarity: I don't think I'll have time. I'm already busy rehearsing for both plays, and well—

[chiming]

Rarity: Oh! That's probably my agent. I had him e-mail me my new schedule. Hmmm... There's a bit of an overlap during rehearsal. But [scoffs] nothing I shouldn't be able to handle. I am, after all, an actor.

[fast music]

Rarity: [clears throat]

[watch chimes]

Rarity: [yells, panting]

[doors open]

Rarity: [panting, laughs nervously]

[watch chimes]

Rarity: Oh, no!

[zip!]

Makeup Ponies: Huh?

Rarity: [panting]

[splash!]

Rainbow Dash: Oops.

[watch chimes]

[zip!]

Rarity: [panting and groaning, whimpers]

Rarity: From the top of scene five. "I am the tree." [clears throat] Oh, sorry, let me try that again. "I am the tree!"

Sugar Snap: You're the what?

Rarity: Oh. How could I be such a silly filly? I was reading from the wrong play.

[chiming]

Rarity: Oh, it's an update from Curtain Call. Uh, [reading] "Charity, congratulations. Your role as Tree Number Two has been extended, and you will now be onstage for the entire play"?! [faints] There's no way now I can be in both plays at once. This big break feels more like a big headache!

[poof!]

Shoulder Angel Rarity 1: Think of the exposure!

Shoulder Angel Rarity 2: The show must go on!

Shoulder Angel Rarity 1: One of them must happen without her.

Shoulder Angel Rarity 2: Ah, friends come and go.

Shoulder Angel Rarity 1: But one-night shows are forever!

Shoulder Angel Rarity 2: Should we ask her what she thinks?

Shoulder Angel Rarity 1: No! She knows the role she was born to play!

[poof!]

Rarity: [whines]

[whirring]

Rarity: Ponies, lend me your ears! It is with great sadness that I have decided to leave our production of A Neigh in the Life. Parting is such sweet sorrow. But Sugar Snap will be a great replacement as she's an amazing understudy. I will now make my exit stage left.

Sugar Snap: Everypony's gonna be so excited that I fixed the house lights when they get back from lunch!

Gummy: [chomping]

[ponies chattering]

Rarity: "I am the tree." "I am the tree!"

[knock on door]

Rarity: Huh? [reading] "Due to unforeseen magical events, our performance has been... cancelled"?! No! That can't be right! Must be right.

Applejack and Fluttershy: [laughing]

Rarity: Soooo... a funny thing happened on the way to the theater. The Crystal Globe is reopening as an aquarium. But even if it wasn't, I know that leaving our play was selfish of me. And that is why I believe Sugar Snap should keep the role that I so carelessly cast aside. And now, I shall be out of the play!

Sugar Snap: Actually, I have a better idea. Let's split the role.

[applause]

Sugar Snap: What do you say, Rarity?

Rarity: I gracefully accept.

Rest of Mane Six: [cheer]

Sugar Snap: So can we finally do that read-through?

[poof!]

Rarity: Absolutely.

[credits]