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Episode Princess Probz
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[theme song]

Part 1

Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie! Aah!
Pinkie Pie: She's just about done it. Oh, yes. Pinkie Pie might have created the perfect dessert!
Rarity: [screams]
Rarity: I will always love you, but... you've ruined me!
Applejack: Easy now, Rarity.
Rarity: My mane! [wailing]
Applejack: [to fourth wall] Did you miss this? I missed this.
Pinkie Pie: It all comes down to this! May I present a Pinkie Pie original recipe... the Ice Cream Sundae of Towering Importance! [giggles]
[pop, fizzle]
Rainbow Dash: Wait for it...
Twilight Sparkle: Three...
Applejack: Two...
Pinkie Pie: One! [screams]
Pinkie Pie: Oops.
Rainbow Dash: Aah!
Mane Six sans Pinkie Pie: [groans]
Pinkie Pie: I, uh... [laughs] ...meant to do that.
Pinkie Pie: Potions! Potions for everybody!
Applejack: Pinkie, did you have to make that sundae so... dramatic?
Pinkie Pie: YES! It's just one of the recipes I'm considering for my Royal Jelly Juggernaut audition later today!
Twilight Sparkle: [spits] You're auditioning for the Royal Jelly Juggernaut?!
Rainbow Dash: A Royal Jelly who-da-what-now?
Pinkie Pie: It's a reality show! [gulping]
Pinkie Pie: [narrating] Ponyville's greatest dessert makers face off in a jelly battle royale! Judged by the enigmatic ingenue of irresistible icing herself – Princess Celestia!
[cameras flashing]
Rainbow Dash: Ooh. A telepathy potion. Very chill.
Twilight Sparkle: This is not chill at all! [slurps]
[bottle smashes]
Twilight Sparkle: [narrating] It's the saltiest competition that ever called itself sweet! Even the most precise ponies go home with their heads hung low!
[flies buzzing]
Pinkie Pie: [screams]
Twilight Sparkle: Maintaining a clean workspace is vital!
Pinkie Pie: [gulping]
Twilight Sparkle: No pressure.
Pinkie Pie: Exactly! No pressure! It's just a series of incredibly competitive auditions followed by a callback, a bake-off, and a personal interview. Should be a breeze! All I need to do is practice, practice, practice and get feedback from my best buds. TO THE TEST KITCHEN!
[flies buzzing]
Twilight Sparkle: It's not not worse than I thought.
Rarity: Huh?
[tink, tink]
Rarity: [screams, groans]
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rarity—
Rarity: [groans]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, she's still fainted. From a place of love and support... we have to stop her!
Rarity: [groans] We must help Pinkie Pie!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh. Right. Yeah, that's what I meant. From a place of love and support, we have to help her.
Pinkie Pie: [scat-singing] [deep voice] Pastries!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, please tell me you have a plan for your audition.
Pinkie Pie: I do! Step one— Aah!
Pinkie Pie: Have fun!
Pinkie Pie: That's it. That's the only step.
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, great. And cool. And nice.
Rainbow Dash: Whoa!
Twilight Sparkle: We can fix this. We gotta fix this!
Twilight Sparkle: You know how I'd audition? I'd be mindful of health codes.
Rainbow Dash: Look, Pinkie. An audition needs something that's gonna grab their hearts, eyeballs, and advertisers!
Twilight Sparkle: What if you make it to hometown cook-offs?! We gotta get this place sparkling clean! Even if we have to turn it inside-out and upside-down!
Pinkie Pie: Good idea, Twilight! My pineapple upside-down cake always impresses.
Twilight Sparkle: That's not what I meant.
Pinkie Pie: I know. That's what I love about you. You're brilliant without even trying.
Twilight Sparkle: [screams]
Rarity: You know, darling... I once thought about getting into the "biz", meaning the TV industry. I could've been a star, too, I tell you. But I gave it all up to focus on my suntan. How's that turned out? Don't ask. Long story. [kisses]
Pinkie Pie: I love your long stories, Rarity, but I'm running out of time.
Rarity: The perfect audition requires the perfect audition look. May I?
Pinkie Pie: [grunting] Ooh!
Rest of Mane Six: [awestruck sounds]
Rarity: Behold her! Pinkie Pie – polished!
Rainbow Dash: She's camera-ready!
Pinkie Pie: Cake-ready, too! Is this upside-down enough for ya, Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
Pinkie Pie: There's just one more recipe I want to try. Mostly because it's so fun to say. FLAN! It's as flashy as I am now! And not only that, I finally got my hair net to stay on!
Rest of Mane Six: [awestruck sounds]
Pinkie Pie: Whoa!
[blender whirring]
Pinkie Pie: [screams]
[blender whirring]
Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy: [gasp]
Rarity: [gulps]
Rest of Mane Six: [grunting]
Pinkie Pie: [laughs nervously] Oops.

Part 2

Mane Six sans Pinkie Pie: [grunting]
Pinkie Pie: [panting]
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] Looks like we're in a pretty—
Applejack: Don't say it!
Rainbow Dash: —sticky situation.
Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, and Rarity: [groan]
Pinkie Pie: You guys!
[door opens]
Pinkie Pie: I'll save you!
Pinkie Pie: [grunts]
Twilight Sparkle: At least if she's stuck, she won't be able to make it to—
Pinkie Pie: Ugh! Huh?
Twilight Sparkle: This is the worst thing that could possibly happen!
Pinkie Pie: Ugh! I know! I wanted you all to come support me at my audition!
Rest of Mane Six: [sigh]
Twilight Sparkle: Just remember to clean as you cook.
Rainbow Dash: And do something flashy!
Rarity: And put your best face forward!
Twilight Sparkle: If you follow those rules, you've got this. No way you'll look like a silly filly. No pressure!
Pinkie Pie: Oh. [laughs nervously] Okay. [voice cracking] No pressure.
[door opens]
[door closes]
Twilight Sparkle: Well, we did all we could.
Fluttershy: She seemed really sad. This feels... not good.
Rainbow Dash: Maybe we should've just believed in her from the start?
Rest of Mane Six: [sigh] Yeah...
Twilight Sparkle: I... made a mistake, didn't I? And now she's going all alone!
Applejack: We gotta make a plan to get out of this flan! Uh, as quick as we can! Hand me that pan! Let's eat!
Rest of Mane Six: [eating noisily]
Twilight Sparkle: [with mouth full] We're coming, Pinkie!
Pinkie Pie: Our hero in pink stands under the bright lights of the Royal Jelly Juggernaut competition kitchen. Game time! Steely, she looks across the studio to see three tail chairs. These are the judges' chairs.
Princess Celestia: Uh, excuse me, but are you... narrating?
Pinkie Pie: Huh? Oh. Yeah. Kinda.
Princess Celestia: Well then... [clears throat] One audition, one recipe. That's all that stands between you and TV stardom.
Pinkie Pie: Huh. I thought it was gonna be a lot more complicated than that. Prepare to have your taste buds totally ANNIHILATED! Then revived stronger than ever by a Pinkie Pie original recipe! Watch as I create upside-down flan cakes! [imitating Rainbow Dash] Be flashy! [imitating Rarity] Look the part! [imitating Twilight Sparkle] And keep it clean! [sighs] I can do this. [gasps]
[bowl smashes]
[pen scribbles]
Mane Six sans Pinkie Pie: [groaning]
Rarity: [burps] I can't! I simply cannot eat another bite!
Applejack: You can't get up and leave this kitchen until you finish your dessert! [sighs] Literally. None of us can.
Twilight Sparkle: We have to eat! For Pinkie!
Mane Six sans Pinkie Pie: [eating noisily]
Pinkie Pie: [whimpers] Clean as you cook... Whoops! Aah!
Pinkie Pie: Here's a little flash— Aah! Too much flash!
Pinkie Pie: Okay. [pants] I'll put my best face forward and—
Pinkie Pie: Oops.
[slide whistle]
[sparkling sounds]
[door opens]
Rest of Mane Six: [gasp]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, no! We're too late!
Princess Celestia: [lips smacking] This... is so... raw.
Twilight Sparkle: Aah!
Pinkie Pie: [gulps]
Princess Celestia: It's raw... beautiful television! And not only that, this is the best cake I've ever taken a teensy little bite of! Oh, you must be on the show!
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Really?! But my audition was a disaster.
Princess Celestia: Eh, maybe so. But your baking's top-notch, and it's you who really takes the cake! [giggles, snorts] Did you get that? That's gold.
Rest of Mane Six: [cheer]
Pinkie Pie: Whoo-hoo-hoo!
[pop, fizzle, pop]
Pinkie Pie: Yeah! Whoo!
Princess Celestia: A second helping, please!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, I'm sorry. I was afraid you'd embarrass yourself. When the only one who should be embarrassed is me. I tried to make you do things the way I'd do them when you were doing them perfectly fine all along.
Pinkie Pie: That's okay. I know you were just trying to help. But I can't help being me. And I like it that way. [gulping, hiccup] Uh-oh!
Rainbow Dash: Whoa!
Pinkie Pie: Whoa! [gulping, hiccup]
Pinkie Pie: Actually, it's kinda fun to be you guys, too!
Mane Six: [laughing]