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Episode School Daze - Part 1
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Twilight Sparkle: This happened while we were gone?
Applejack: Wow! Those are all the places we went when we left to save Equestria!
Rarity: Ugh! There's that horrid town where we were almost sold!
Rainbow Dash: The pirates! They were pretty awesome! Uh, once they decided not to throw us overboard.
Pinkie Pie: And Mount Aris! Ooh, Starlight! Did you know we made seashell necklaces for aaaaaa... [inhales] ...aaaaall the seaponies?
Starlight Glimmer: I... You... Really? What about that unicorn? The one who attacked Canterlot?
Twilight Sparkle: Tempest! I invited her to come to Ponyville, but she wanted to spread the word of the Storm King's defeat and share what she learned about friendship.
Applejack: Y'all think that's why the map grew? Friendship quests beyond Equestria?
Fluttershy: I hope not. I've had quite enough life-threatening adventures, thank you very much.
Pinkie Pie: How many friendship quests do you think we need to go on before we have to expand the throne room?
Twilight Sparkle: We can't do it all alone.
Pinkie Pie: Sure we can! We just need to knock this wall down, get some paint...
Twilight Sparkle: No. I mean, the world is filled with so many different creatures who know nothing about friendship. We need help if we're gonna teach them all about friendship. Lots of help.
Rarity: Perhaps. But where does one go to learn about friendship?
Twilight Sparkle: Here! They can all go here! Because we're gonna open a school!
[theme song]
Princess Celestia: I think a school of friendship is a wonderful idea, Twilight! I'll help in any way I can.
Twilight Sparkle: I just have a few questions. What time should school start each day?
Princess Celestia: It really d—
Twilight Sparkle: What's the ideal length for class? Do you test regularly?
Princess Celestia: Oh, well, that's—
Twilight Sparkle: What about class projects?
Princess Celestia: That's a very—
Twilight Sparkle: Assigned seating? Open seating? Or is that... too unstructured?
Princess Celestia: [giggles] Oh, Twilight. You were my star pupil. If anyone knows how to run a school, it's you.
Twilight Sparkle: There's a big difference between attending a school and running one. It's not like there's a rule book to follow.
Princess Celestia: Actually, there is. The EEA guidebook is very specific about how to run a school.
Twilight Sparkle: The EEA? I've never heard of that. Should I have heard of that?!
Princess Celestia: Of course not. You've never run a school before. The Equestria Education Association is a board of learned ponies that oversee every school in Equestria.
Spike: Even your school? But you're you!
Princess Celestia: Not even a princess can do whatever she likes when it comes to shaping young pony minds. The EEA ensures that whether it's unicorns studying magic, Pegasi learning weather, or Earth ponies researching agriculture, all schools are held to the same high standard. They'll need to approve your plan before you can move forward.
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, Spike, looks like we have a presentation to make.
Spike: [scoffs] After everything we've been through, how hard can that be?
[deep chord]
Spike: I'm gonna go with "really hard".
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, hello. My name is—
Neighsay: Princess Twilight Sparkle. I am Chancellor Neighsay. Equestria owes you a great debt. But princess or no, we expect you to do things by... the... book!
[pages flipping]
Twilight Sparkle: I think you'll find my curriculum meets all your requirements, Chancellor.
[pages flipping]
Neighsay: And can we trust you to follow through with this plan? Will you leave the school unattended to gallop off on your... "adventures"?
Twilight Sparkle: My journey beyond Equestria showed me firsthoof that the threats out there are greater than we imagined!
[EEA members hushed whispering]
Twilight Sparkle: If we want to keep our land safe and create a friendlier tomorrow, we need to teach the Magic of Friendship far and wide.
Neighsay: A school for ponies to learn how to protect themselves.
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, more like respecting differences and communicating.
[long pause]
Neighsay: The EEA concurs. Every pony should be prepared to defend our way of life. So, if your work is in order, provisional EEA approval is granted. We will need to observe your school up and running before it can be fully accredited.
Twilight Sparkle: Then please, join us for Friends and Family Day. It'll be the perfect time to see our progress!
[various glints]
Rainbow Dash: It's too much. Too much!
Rarity: Ugh, you think so? I had hoped dressing the part would help me feel the part.
Rainbow Dash: Not your dress! This! Us! Teaching?! They're gonna think I'm an egghead!
Pinkie Pie: Well, the students are gonna love my confetti cannon class. It's gonna be... a blast!
[party cannon squeak]
Fluttershy: Um, hello there. I'm your teacher. I hope you enjoy class. But if you don't enjoy it, that's okay, too.
Applejack: I don't know about all this.
Twilight Sparkle: It's going to be fine. Everything about this school just feels right.
Starlight Glimmer: See? If Twilight isn't stressed, you've got nothing to worry about.
Applejack: And you're sure you want us to be teachers? In classrooms?
Twilight Sparkle: The EEA is very clear on how schools should be run. We have a huge responsibility, and I need you all to do this by the book. That means no cannons in class, Pinkie.
Pinkie Pie: Awww. Not even a [high-pitched] teeny cannon?
[tiny party cannon fires]
Twilight Sparkle: I know it's not some big adventure against the forces of evil, but this could be the most important thing we've ever done. I can't run a school of friendship without my best friends. Can I count on you?
Rarity: Of course you can, darling.
Rainbow Dash: Call me Professor Egghead. I'm in!
[bell rings]
Pinkie Pie: [screams] First day at school! So many new ponies!
Twilight Sparkle: About that. One thing I forgot to mention. It's not just ponies.
[students chattering]
Pinkie Pie: That was unexpected.
Rarity: Ooh! Students certainly traveled from far and wide to attend our school!
Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia helped me reach out to all the kingdoms. After all, friendship is something that needs to be shared with every... creature.
[magic zap]
[ponies chattering]
Twilight Sparkle: Welcome to the School of Friendship! I'm your headmare Twilight Sparkle. Please follow Guidance Counselor Starlight to sign in and get your class assignments. Then we can show you your living quarters.
Sandbar: Whoa, sorry! I'm Sandbar. Are you a student here, too?
Gallus: [sarcastically] No, I just figured I'd randomly stand here and see how many ponies would walk into me. [huffs]
Grampa Gruff: Gallus! [wheezes]
Rainbow Dash: Grandpa Gruff? What are you doing here?
Grampa Gruff: Flew all the way from Griffonstone to introduce Gallus.
Gallus: Rainbow Dash, right? Gilda told me about you. You're a teacher? Huh. Thought you'd be... cooler.
[door slams]
Prince Rutherford: Ponies!
Pinkie Pie: Prince Rutherford!
Prince Rutherford: This Yona Yak. She come to pony school. Hah. Make it better.
Yona: Yak can't wait to meet ponies and tell all about Yakyakistan!
[ponies screaming]
Yona: [yelps]
Applejack: Why don't I show you around before you destroy the place?
Smolder: But dragons are better than this! Why am I here?
Ember: Because as Dragon Lord, I'm ordering you to be here! Hey, Spike! Come meet Smolder.
Spike: Great to see you, Ember! Uh, which one is Smolder?
Thorax: Ocellus! What did we talk about?
[changeling zap]
Thorax: I told you, stay in your own form. It's the polite thing to do. Sorry, she's shy.
Silverstream: What is that?! No way! I didn't know ponies could turn into... um... What are you?
Thorax: A changeling.
Silverstream: Ponies can turn into changelings?!
Fluttershy: No, but changelings can turn into ponies.
Silverstream: Huh. That's confusing!
[changeling zap]
Seaspray: I am General Seaspray of Her Majesty Queen Novo's navy. I would like to introduce the queen's niece, Silverstream.
Silverstream: This place is amazing! I've spent most of my life in a coral reef underwater. I was a seapony, but now I'm a Hippogriff. Long story. Anyway, wow! Is that a yak?!
[ponies chattering]
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you so much for supporting the grand opening of our school. I hope you'll all join us for Friends and Family Day to see the amazing progress your students are making.
Twilight Sparkle: Looks like school's in session!
The School of Friendship, first day of class
Will we fail or will we pass?
Students come from far and wide
Brand-new friends here by our side
[Twilight Sparkle]
Take a breath, look around, it's amazing
I can't believe that it's real
Students galore, new ideas to explore
Can't contain the excitement I feel
Can't mess up, can't afford a mistake now
Think "success", keep it firmly in sight
Make sure to do things by the book
Make sure to do it all right
The School of Friendship, must get to class
Will we fail or will we pass?
Students learning from the best
Taking notes to pass the test
[Twilight Sparkle]
Wait, hold on! Not like that! Just a second!
I'm not sure if that method's approved
Let me take a look – yup, right here in the book
[Rainbow Dash]
Come on! We just got in the groove!
[Twilight Sparkle]
Can't mess up, can't afford a mistake now
We are shaping young minds to ignite
Do it like it says in the book
Now make sure you're doing it right
[Pinkie Pie]
There's not an equation on how to have fun
The students look bored now – oh, what have I done?
Can't teach bein' honest, not sure what to do
I'm quite certain I'm lost
[Main cast sans Twilight Sparkle]
None of us has a clue!
School of Friendship, another class
Wish it were more of a blast
Thought this school would be more fun
Can't wait for our classes to be done
School of Friendship
[Twilight Sparkle]
Can't mess up, can't afford a mistake now
[Pinkie Pie]
No way to have fun
Oh, what have I done?
Bored with this class
[Twilight Sparkle]
Think "success", keep it firmly in sight
Wish that we could leave en masse!
We don't have a clue
Listen to this one request
Make things fun, we're really stressed
[Twilight Sparkle]
Make sure to do things by the book now
[All sans Twilight Sparkle]
Can we tell her this thing is a mess?
[students groaning]
Silverstream: Is this what boring is? Am I bored?
Smolder: Ugh, please. These ponies are the heroes of Equestria?
Sandbar: Listen, these ponies saved all of us from the Storm King.
Gallus: How? By boring him into surrender?
Ocellus: Our teachers are a little different than I expected.
Yona: Ugh! Pony school waste of time! Yak school teach how to braid yak hair! Braiding yak hair is best! Whoa!
Smolder: Oof! Is there anything in Yakyakistan that isn't the best?
Yona: Yes! Wait. No! Yaks best.
Smolder: No claws, no wings, no fire. What is it exactly you're proud of?
Sandbar: Whoa, cool it. No need to harsh Yona's love for her heritage, okay?
Gallus: Awww, are we not being sweet and friendly enough for you, pony?
Silverstream: That was sarcasm, right? Because you weren't being sweet or nice!
Smolder: Maybe dragons and griffons are just too tough for friendship.
Yona: Yaks tough, just not nasty.
Gallus: Who you calling nasty, klutz?
Gallus and Yona: [grunting]
Rainbow Dash: Okay, break it up! Break... it... up!
Starlight Glimmer: What is going on here?!
Gallus: Just a friendly discussion about the magic of friendship amongst friends.
Applejack: Everypony— I mean, everyone, go to your next class! I just can't believe it. Fights breakin' out when they're supposed to be learnin' friendship?
Starlight Glimmer: Things definitely aren't going as "by the book" as Twilight planned.
Rainbow Dash: That's because we're terrible teachers! Face it. This school isn't gonna work.
Applejack: [fading in] ...fights breakin' out in the hallway...
[other main characters talking over each other]
Pinkie Pie: ...putting myself to sleep!
Rainbow Dash: I don't look like that, do I?
Pinkie Pie: [snores]
Twilight Sparkle: I get it. Things are getting off to a rougher start than expected. But that's okay!
Spike: Who are you, and what have you done with Twilight Sparkle?
Twilight Sparkle: Every school in Equestria follows these rules. As long as we do too, we'll be fine.
Starlight Glimmer: Maybe we should... try something new?
Twilight Sparkle: The EEA will be here this afternoon for Friends and Family Day. They need to see a school that follows their guidelines.
Fluttershy: Even if those guidelines aren't working?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, then we have to try harder and make sure they do.
[bell rings]
Twilight Sparkle: Another morning, another chance to inspire our students!
[door opens]
Sandbar: Hey! Professor Dash's class is this way.
Ocellus: Where are you going? You're not [gasps] skipping, are you?
Smolder: That's exactly what we're doing.
Silverstream: But Friends and Family Day—
Gallus: Is after class. Relax. This is just a quick... mental health break.
Ocellus, Silverstream, and Yona: [whispering]
Silverstream: That sounds legit! We're in!
Sandbar: I guess I'll tag along, too. Make sure you don't get into... trouble.
[students giggling]
Fluttershy: This way, Angel!
Silverstream: Professor Fluttershy! We're busted!
[changeling zap]
Fluttershy: Oh, my! What are you all doing? Aren't classes that way?
Ocellus: Ah— [clears throat] A generosity field trip, daaaaarling. [giggles] I'm taking the students to the lake to look at our divine reflections.
Fluttershy: Oh, that sounds nice. Have fun!
Angel: [growls]
[changeling zap]
[students giggling]
Smolder: I take back everything I said about you! That was cool!
Ocellus: Thanks! Wait, what did you say about me?
[students giggling]
Starlight Glimmer: You're sure sticking to the book is gonna work?
Twilight Sparkle: My friends can handle anything. They'll have these problems turned around before we know it.
Neighsay: Problems?
Twilight Sparkle and Starlight Glimmer: [gasps]
Twilight Sparkle: Chancellor Neighsay! You're here!
Neighsay: Yes. And you seem unprepared. If there are problems...
Twilight Sparkle: Problems? Ha! Of course not! We can't wait to show you around!
Twilight Sparkle: [chuckles nervously]
Gallus: And that's why griffons breathe fire when we get mad.
Silverstream: They do not! Wait! Do they? No! Really?!
Yona: Griffons just full of hot air!
[students laughing]
Smolder: And yaks are actually good at jokes. How about that?
Ocellus: What are dragons good at?
Smolder: Competition! Who's up for a race?
[skidding brakes]
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash! Why aren't you in class teaching?
Rainbow Dash: Because my students are gone! Uh, g-gone somewhere else! Doing a loyalty lesson! And-and I was just going to grab, uh... this pencil! Because they need it. Wherever they are. Which I know, 'cause... I'm the teacher!
Twilight Sparkle: I see. [laughs nervously] Well, Chancellor, we have other classes. We can just—
Neighsay: Let's follow the professor. I'm quite curious about this lesson in loyalty.
[students laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: [voiceover] Of course, we want to instill a sense of loyalty towards others. We encourage acts of generosity and kindness.
[students yelping]
Gallus: Figured we shouldn't be the only ones enjoying the view.
Yona: Waaaah! Yak not best at flying!
Twilight Sparkle: [voiceover] And appreciation for the value of laughter...
Yona: Flying is best!
Silverstream: Congratulations, Yona! You are officially the weirdest thing I've seen so far!
Smolder: What do you say, Ocellus? Can you be weirder than a flying yak?
[changeling zap]
[other students gasping]
Twilight Sparkle: ...and to always be honest in any situation.
Neighsay: Honesty is imperative. Princess, are we going in circles?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, look at the time! We'd better head to the lake for Friends and Family Day. I'm sure all the students and faculty will be there.
[ponies chattering]
Prince Rutherford: [laughs]
[buzzing noise]
Ember: What is that?!
[shocked noises and screams]
Neighsay: Aah! The school is under attack!
Gallus: [grunts]
Silverstream and Smolder: [gasps]
Yona: [screams]
Pony: Oh, my goodness!
[changeling zap]
[all coughing]
Silverstream: Uh, maybe skipping class wasn't the best idea?
Neighsay: How dare you! This act of aggression against ponies—!
Twilight Sparkle: I-I'm so sorry, Chancellor. We clearly had some students get a little carried away.
Neighsay: Those are students? But you said you were opening this school to protect Equestria! To defend ponies from... dangerous creatures who don't have our best interests at heart!
Twilight Sparkle: My school teaches for all of us to work together through friendship.
Neighsay: And how do you know these creatures won't take what they have learned here and use it against us?
Twilight Sparkle: Friendship isn't just for ponies!
Neighsay: It should be.
Prince Rutherford: Unicorn think yaks no need friendship? Maybe yaks no need pony school!
Neighsay: Well, perhaps you should return to your kind.
Ember: "Your kind"?! Smolder, let's go!
Seaspray: Queen Novo will want to hear of this!
Grampa Gruff: Well, this place seemed lame anyways.
Thorax: [despondently] It's fine. We know not every pony sees us the way you do. We're used to it.
Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia helped me reach out to all the kingdoms! When she hears you closed the school because—!
Neighsay: Because you failed to meet the EEA's standards?
Twilight Sparkle: What?!
Neighsay: Irresponsible teachers, students skipping class, endangering ponies! Your school is a disaster. Perhaps if you had had higher standards for who was admitted, this could have been avoided. Regardless...
[magic noises]
[chains rattling]
Neighsay: By order of the EEA, I am shutting this school... [stomps] down!
Twilight Sparkle: [sad gasp]
[To be continued...]