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Episode School Raze - Part 1
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Derpy: [groans]
Cozy Glow: Thank you for the mail delivery. Have a wonderful day!
Cozy Glow: You're new here, right? I'm Cozy Glow, Professor Sparkle's friendship assistant. Welcome to our school! Your first class is just down that hall.
Cozy Glow: A seven-letter word for "teamwork". Have you tried "synergy"?
Silverstream: That's it! Thanks, Cozy!
Cozy Glow: What are friends for?
[door opens, closes]
Cozy Glow: Good morning, Professor Sparkle!
Twilight Sparkle: The mail's here already? What time is it?! I'm late for my class's field trip to Cloudsdale! [panting]
Cozy Glow: Don't worry. I asked Professor Rainbow Dash to cover for you.
Twilight Sparkle: And she said yes?
Cozy Glow: Uh-huh. I told her how busy you are and how much her loyalty meant to you. I also color-coded your teaching schedule by friendship element and catalogued all the magical artifacts in the school. I hope that's okay.
Twilight Sparkle: Okay? Cozy, that's amazing! You're like my right-hoof pony! I don't know what I'd do without you.
Cozy Glow: [giggles] It's like you taught me. Helping is what friendship's all about.
Twilight Sparkle: Exactly. And hopefully my class is learning that on their field trip right now.
Cozy Glow: I heard they might do some sightseeing first.
[thunder and lightning]
Rainbow Dash: Ta-da! The Pegasus Weather Factory! Every drop of rain or flake of snow from Cloudsdale comes from there.
[sounds of awe]
Rainbow Dash: I know, right? Hey! The cool stuff's over here!
Ocellus: Wow! I've never stood on a cloud before!
Starlight Glimmer: You can't normally. But for our trip, I cast a spell that lets us walk like Pegasi.
[wind whistling]
Gallus: Hey, Yona! Come check out this view! Unless you're too scared.
Yona: [teeth chattering] Yona not scared! [screams] Now Yona scared!
[students gasp]
[theme song]
Yona: [screams]
[magic fizzles]
Starlight Glimmer: [gasps]
[ponies and creatures gasping]
Rainbow Dash: Come on! We gotta catch 'em!
[ponies screaming]
Yona: [screams]
Gallus: Gotcha!
Ocellus: It's okay, Yona! You like flying, remember?
Yona: Flying, not falling!
Yona: [kissing sounds]
Starlight Glimmer: I don't understand. It-It's like my spell stopped working. That's... never happened before.
[door opens]
Starlight Glimmer: We have an emergency!
Rainbow Dash: The students dropped out of the sky!
Twilight Sparkle: Slow down. What happened?
Starlight Glimmer: I cast a spell for our field trip to Cloudsdale, but my magic just failed.
Rainbow Dash: We barely caught everypony in time!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm glad you're all okay, but I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, Starlight. Maybe you did your spell wrong. Let's take a look.
Twilight Sparkle: I didn't drop that book.
Starlight Glimmer: [sarcastically] Maybe you did your spell wrong?
Rarity: Ow!
[door opens]
Fluttershy: Rarity ran into the door.
Rarity: [sobbing] My magic is go-o-o-one! I even had to use my hooves to coif my tail!
Rainbow Dash: Still think there's nothing to worry about?
Twilight Sparkle: This doesn't make any sense. Magic can't just disappear. Something has to be causing this.
Cozy Glow: Um, didn't we learn in class about a creature that eats magic? Ter, Tee... Tir-something?
Fluttershy: [gasps] Tirek!
Rainbow Dash: Isn't he trapped in Tartarus?
[door opens]
Spike: [gagging]
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, what's wrong?
Spike: [gagging, belches, sighs] Thanks. I've never had a letter get stuck before. It's from Princess Celestia! We've all been called to an emergency meeting in Canterlot! Look!
[magic fizzles]
Twilight Sparkle: Pretty sure I know what it's about.
Princess Celestia: Throughout our city, ponies have been reporting tales of their magic failing. Spells going wrong. Potions not working.
Princess Luna: Even raising the moon has become difficult. Are there similar troubles in Ponyville?
Twilight Sparkle: We experienced it first-hoof.
Princess Cadance: It's the same in my kingdom. The Crystal Heart seems safe for now, but I worry if this continues.
[door opens]
"Special Delivery": [panting] Letter for the princess from Star Swirl the Bearded!
Princess Celestia: Ah! It is even more terrible than we feared! Magic is disappearing all across Equestria!
[ponies gasp]
Princess Celestia: Star Swirl believes the power will drain from our land in three days. First, unicorn magic and spells will fail.
Starlight Glimmer: That's what's happening now.
Princess Celestia: On the second day, creatures will lose their magic abilities.
Fluttershy: [gasps] Oh, no!
Princess Celestia: And finally, magical artifacts will stop working. When the sun sets on the third day, the magic in our world will be gone forever!
[ponies gasp]
Princess Cadance: But why is this happening now?
Princess Luna: That's the worst part. We have no idea.
Twilight Sparkle: Has anypony checked on Tirek?
Pinkie Pie: You mean the big, red, scary centaur who eats magic? Why would we wa— Ohhhh. Riiiiight.
Princess Celestia: If he has found some way to escape his prison or work from within it, he could be responsible for this.
Princess Luna: That is the best explanation so far. Somepony should investigate.
Twilight Sparkle: We'll go.
Rarity: Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no. Not without us, you wo— Wait. Did you say "we"?
Twilight Sparkle: I've finally learned that it's okay to count on your friends for help. Um, you do want to come, right?
Rainbow Dash: Uh, duh!
Princess Celestia: Thank you, all. We will search for ways to protect Equestria in your absence.
Princess Luna: Be careful. Tartarus has changed since you were there. It now holds many dangerous creatures, and you won't be able to rely on your magic.
Applejack: With her friends by her side, she won't have to.
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: Okay. I left you my lesson plan, all my student files, and my annotated syllabus notes. If anything goes wrong, get Celestia.
Starlight Glimmer: Got it!
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe I should just close the school and send my students home.
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] Would you go save Equestria already?
Spike: Okay. Cozy packed us all up for a trip to bad guy central.
Cozy Glow: Don't forget the sandwiches. I marked whose is whose, just in case. [whispering, to Spike] Starlight can't stand mustard.
Starlight Glimmer: That's so sweet of you, Cozy. But Twilight has asked me to stay here to run the school.
Cozy Glow: Oh. I thought that after what happened last time—
Spike: Once she's survived Discord, anything else is a piece of cake.
Cozy Glow: [whimpers]
Twilight Sparkle: Plus, she'll have you to help her.
Cozy Glow: Oh, golly, yes! I promise I'll be the best assistant ever! Come on. We can start working on your substitute headmare plans right now, if you like.
Starlight Glimmer: Wow. Uh, okay.
Twilight Sparkle: See? Nothing to worry about. Tell me there's nothing to worry about.
[doors open]
[students chattering]
Cozy Glow: Good morning, friendship students! I know we're all sad Professor Sparkle is away. But don't worry, because she left me in charge to do things just the way she would.
Gallus: Uh, I thought Starlight Glimmer was gonna be temporary headmare.
Cozy Glow: She was, but she left me this note. [reading] "I have to go. Twilight needs my help. I know the school is in good hooves with you, Cozy." [giggles] Isn't that sweet? We won't let Starlight down, will we?
[students agreeing]
Smolder: It's just kind of weird, isn't it?
Cozy Glow: I don't know what you mean.
Smolder: Like, why'd she change her mind? Why did Starlight write a note instead of saying goodbye to us herself? Doesn't make any sense.
[students murmuring]
Cozy Glow: [giggles] Oh, Smolder, you forget. We're not scheming dragons. We're ponies. Sounds like somecreature needs to do a little extra friendship homework.
[students laughing]
Smolder: [growls]
Yona: Yak not pony either! If Smolder get homework, Yona get homework.
Ocellus: Me, too!
Sandbar: I'm in!
Silverstream: Yeah! [laughs] Homework party!
Gallus: [groans] Fine.
Cozy Glow: What loyalty. Professor Rainbow Dash would be so proud. You are such good friends. You all are. And I'm grateful because it will be awfully hard running a whole school alone. Can I count on each of you to help me?
[students cheering]
Cozy Glow: Thank you so much! It's just like our professors taught us. Together, we can get through anything!
[Fly-ders buzzing]
Rarity: [blows]
Rarity: Ow! Ugh! I have had it with these horrible flies! [whines] I miss my magic!
Twilight Sparkle: Have you tried using your tail to shoo them away?
Rarity: [gasps] Bite your tongue! It's for decorative purposes only!
Pinkie Pie: Hey! I didn't know we packed green cupcakes.
Fluttershy: Um, we didn't. They must've gone bad without magic to keep them cold.
Rainbow Dash: "Magic" this, "magic" that. We don't need magic to go on a little hike.
[rain falling]
Rarity: You were saying?
Applejack: You just need to think more like Earth ponies, y'all. Granny's "Apple Core No-Bite-No-More"! That'll keep the flies off.
Pinkie Pie: [sniffs] Ugh! It smells just like it looks!
Fluttershy: Even if our food's spoiled, these blueberries are still good to eat.
Spike: Too bad we can't do anything about the rainstorm.
Rainbow Dash: I can't stop that storm by myself, but I can still help!
Twilight Sparkle: I think we have all the magic we need right here. Not that I don't want to get it back. Heh. Let's go!
[students chattering]
"Citrine Spark": Cozy Glow baked our class cupcakes today!
"Berry Bliss": And she made all of us friendship bracelets!
"Patty Peppermint": She's the nicest pony I've ever met. I'm so glad she's headmare!
Sandbar: Uh, temporary headmare? Right, guys?
"Citrine Spark": Oh, oh, of course. But if Twilight takes her time coming back, I won't mind.
[students laughing]
[door opens]
Silverstream: Finally! We thought you forgot about study club.
Sandbar: Sorry I'm late. Cozy Glow gave our class tickets to a Sapphire Shores concert in Ponyville tonight.
Gallus: You get the feeling Cozy's trying too hard to make us like her?
Ocellus: Or maybe she just wants to help us keep our minds off of how scary it is that magic's disappearing.
Smolder: I don't trust her. What's she up to behind those big eyes and bouncy curls?
Yona: And why Cozy pony coming out catacombs so late at night?
Gallus: Let's go ask her.
Twilight Sparkle: This is the only door to Tartarus. The good news is the seal isn't broken, so we know Tirek didn't escape.
Applejack: Let me guess. You got bad news, too?
Twilight Sparkle: Last time I was here, I had to use magic to get in. And according to Star Swirl, all unicorn magic was gone by yesterday's sunset.
Rainbow Dash: Maybe he was wrong.
Twilight Sparkle: [grunts]
[magic fizzles]
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]
Pinkie Pie: Don't worry, Twilight. I got this.
[knock, knock]
Pinkie Pie: Free pizza delivery!
Pinkie Pie: Huh. Always worked before. Oh, well.
Applejack: Did any of y'all pack somethin' that could actually help?
Rarity: These all do magic, but not the kind we're looking for, I'm afraid.
Spike: How about this?
Twilight Sparkle: The Key of Unfettered Entrance! Where did you find this, Spike?
Spike: In your bag. Cozy Glow must've packed it for you.
Twilight Sparkle: She really did think of everything.
Fluttershy: Um, what does it do?
Twilight Sparkle: It can magically open any door. And since artifacts like this haven't lost their power yet...
[gears clicking]
[cranking sounds]
Twilight Sparkle: I guess it only works once.
[door slams]
[cockatrice hisses]
Mane Six and Spike: [gasp]
Applejack: Cockatrice!
Rarity: Do something, Fluttershy!
Rainbow Dash: Don't look at it! It'll turn you to stone!
[cockatrice hisses]
Pinkie Pie: I don't feel like stone.
[boing, boing]
Pinkie Pie: Unless it's really bouncy stone.
Fluttershy: I think he lost his magic, too. All the creatures here must have.
[low growling]
Twilight Sparkle: Star Swirl said that would happen on the second day.
Spike: I know it should make me feel safer, but it just makes me sad. We gotta fix this!
[door opens]
[chair creaks]
Chancellor Neighsay: Where is Princess Twilight?!
Cozy Glow: Oh, golly. She's away on a quest. I'm watching the school for her.
Chancellor Neighsay: Magic is failing across our land, and she left a foal in charge of this facility?
Cozy Glow: Yes, sir! Is there anything I can do for you?
Chancellor Neighsay: That won't be necessary. Twilight's folly stops here. As of now, I am headstallion. And I have quite a few changes to make.
Pinkie Pie: If all these monsters lost their magic, then getting past Cerberus should be easy-peasy!
[loud thudding]
Rainbow Dash: Look out!
Mane Six and Spike: [scream]
Fluttershy: I'll talk to him.
Cerberus: [growls]
Fluttershy: Um, excuse me, puppy?
Cerberus: [snorts]
Fluttershy: You're a very good guard dog. Yes, you are. But, um, we were wondering if we could get by to check on Tirek.
Cerberus: [slurping]
Applejack: That looks like a yes.
Rarity: I'll get you a towel, darling.
Fluttershy: [giggling]
Lord Tirek: The Princess of Friendship here for a visit. What have I done to earn the honor of your company?
Twilight Sparkle: We want answers, Tirek. Magic is disappearing from Equestria.
Lord Tirek: I know. What a waste of such... [slurping] ...mmmm, delicious power.
Rainbow Dash: So you are behind this!
Lord Tirek: Silly filly, if I had all of that magic, you think I'd still be locked up in here? But I might know something about it...
Cozy Glow: What are you doing?! Those are Twilight's student files!
Chancellor Neighsay: These aren't. Not anymore. With Equestria under attack, ponies must stand together. Twilight has endangered us all by skipping off on friendship trips while these dangerous creatures run loose.
Cozy Glow: You don't think they're the reason magic is disappearing, do you?
Chancellor Neighsay: Yes, and I came to warn Twilight. But since she is gone, it falls to me to protect you foals from these monsters.
Young Six: [murmuring]
Chancellor Neighsay: Did you hear something?
Cozy Glow: It sounded like it came from over there!
[door creaks]
Young Six: [grunt]
Chancellor Neighsay: You again. As I suspected.
[magic surging]
Young Six: [scream]
Chancellor Neighsay: From now on, this school is pony-only! As nature intended.
[door opens]
Chancellor Neighsay: Since you refuse to explain your plot against Equestria and return the magic you stole, you will stay here while I summon your guardians to take you home.
Sandbar: Wait! You were right about them from the beginning, Chancellor. I see that now.
Smolder: What are you saying?!
Silverstream: Sandbar?!
Sandbar: I don't want anything to do with creatures that could threaten Equestria!
Chancellor Neighsay: Wisely put, colt.
[magic surging]
Chancellor Neighsay: Everypony will come to their senses eventually.
[door closes]
[multiple thuds]
Apple Bloom: [yawns]
Apple Bloom: What in tarnation?!
Sandbar: Sorry. I ran out of apples. I need the Cutie Mark Crusaders. My friends are in trouble. Chancellor Neighsay locked them up.
Apple Bloom: Huh? I thought Cozy Glow was in charge.
Sandbar: Not anymore. But you guys are good buddies. If you can convince her to distract Neighsay, I can break out my friends. Will you help me?
Apple Bloom: Do mulberries have seeds?
Apple Bloom: That's a yes.
Twilight Sparkle: Where is Equestria's magic going, Tirek? What's making it disappear?
Lord Tirek: If you let me out, I'm sure it will jog my memory. What do you say? I scratch your back, you scratch mine?
Rainbow Dash: How about you tell us what you know or you'll be stuck here forever, because we're out of magic keys and nopony can open the door?
Rarity: Oh, dear. I hadn't thought of that.
Spike: We're just as trapped as Tirek?
Lord Tirek: [chuckles] What a pity. Well, for you. Sweet revenge for me. It seems my little protégé's plan worked after all.
Mane Six and Spike: [gasp]
Applejack: Which little protégé?
Lord Tirek: Oh, we've never met. We're pen pals. Each letter had so many questions about draining magic.
Pinkie Pie: And you answered them?!
Lord Tirek: I was bored. So I simply pointed my pen pal in the right direction.
Fluttershy: Can't you just tell us your pen pal's name? I mean, since we're stuck here anyway?
Lord Tirek: Oh, why not? The irony is too perfect. Her name is...
Sandbar: Cozy Glow! I-I could've sworn I saw her come down this way when she left her office.
Sandbar and Cutie Mark Crusaders: [gasp]
Cozy Glow: Enjoying yourself in there, Starlight? I'm sorry I had to push you in. But what else could I do? You were going to ruin all my plans.
Sandbar and Cutie Mark Crusaders: [gasp]
Cozy Glow: You might get some company soon, if I can't make that annoying Neighsay back off! [inhales, exhales] All this magic needs time to drain from Equestria before my vortex sucks it to another realm. [giggles] Three days can sure seem like forever, huh? You know, you ponies got it all wrong. Friendship isn't magic. Friendship is power! With Twilight and her lackeys out of my way, all of Equestria will bow to me! The future Empress of Friendship! [maniacal laughter]
[to be continued]