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Episode Spike at Your Service
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Spike: Six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve.
Twilight Sparkle: Huh. That's not that many.
Spike: Are you kidding? How are you supposed to read twelve books in one weekend?
Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia obviously thinks I can or she would never have assigned them to me. I'm not planning on letting her down.
Spike: Well, I hope you're not planning on sleeping then, either.
Twilight Sparkle: Actually, Spike, why don't you take the day off?
Spike: Really?
Twilight Sparkle: Why not? These books are gonna keep me busy for a while.
Spike: Hmm... I do have a long list of things I've been dying to do!
Spike: "Touch nose with tongue." Eeeng... done! "Play bongos on my belly."
[bongo drum sounds]
Spike: Done! "Smell my dirty feet." [sniffs] [sigh] Done! Huh, that didn't take nearly as long as I thought it would.
[theme song]
Spike: What to do, what to do...
[cat yowling]
Spike: [gasps] A hot air balloon ride!
Spike: [gasps] Oh no! Wait! Runaway balloon! Gah!
Spike: [groans] Sorry!
[wheels rattling noisily]
Spike: [yelps]
Spike: [relieved sigh] That was a close one. I-if I didn't know better, I would swear that I was in the middle of the dark and scary Everfree Forest.
[twig snaps]
Spike: [yelps] What was that?! C'mon, Spike. Just because this forest is full of wild dangerous animals, doesn't mean that you're gonna see one! Hehe...[sniffs] [grunts]
[timberwolves growling]
Spike: [screams]
[timberwolves barking]
Applejack: Come 'n' get me, ya big goons! [to Spike] Run!
Spike: I'm running! I'm running!
Spike: [yelping]
Applejack: Whew!
Spike: Wow, Applejack! That was amazing! I mean, you rocketed those boulders at them like they were... rockets! Pow, pow, pow pow pow! You saved my life! [softly] You... saved... my life.
Applejack: Aw, don't mention it, Spike. C'mon, we should be headin' on back, now.
Spike: Man, am I lucky you were out here. Uh, why were you out here?
Applejack: Saw the balloon floatin' by with nopony in it, came out here to investigate. Guess you did too, huh?
Spike: Uh... yeah... I was investigating the runaway hot air balloon too! So, uh, now that the mystery's been solved, let's get outta here, huh?
[distant howling]
Applejack: Thanks for walkin' me home, Spike. That was mighty kind of you. But now I have chores that need tendin' to, so see you later.
Spike: What chores? I'll do them!
Applejack: That's sweet, but you don't have–
Spike: It's the least I can do! You saved my life! I need to repay the favor.
Applejack: Shoot, Spike, that's what friends do for each other. You don't need to repay the favor.
Spike: Yes, I do!
Applejack: Sugar, it's okay, it's not necessary.
Spike: Applejack, you don't understand! This is something I really need to do!
Applejack: Well, I'd hate to get in the way of doin' somethin' you need to do...
Spike: Great! What should I do?
Applejack: Uh... Apple Bloom's over yonder givin' little Piggington a bath. I was gonna lend her a hoof, but maybe you could lend her one instead.
Spike: On the double!
Spike: Applejack said I could help you!
[pig snorts]
Apple Bloom: Great! I could use all the help I can get!
Spike: Heh, wait 'til Applejack sees how you sparkle!
[pig squealing]
Spike: Ta-da!
[pig oinks]
Applejack: Good job, you two.
Apple Bloom: Applejack, is it okay if I get goin'? I don't wanna be late for my Crusaders meeting. We're gettin' fitted for water skis!
Applejack: Heh, you definitely don't wanna be late for that.
Apple Bloom: Water skiin' cutie mark, here I come!
Applejack: Spike, you can head on out too. I reckon you have repaid me in full so we are officially even Steven.
Spike: What? Ohhh no. We aren't even close to being even Steven! Please, Applejack, you must allow me to assist you further!
Applejack: I dunno, Spike. Just don't feel right to have you, uh, doin' things for me.
Spike: Please?
Applejack: Really, you don't–
Spike: Pretty please?
Applejack: It's just not necessary–
Spike: Pretty pretty pretty please?
Applejack: [sigh] Oh, all right. You can help Granny Smith and me bake some–
Spike: Pies! Pies! I'm helping Applejack make some pies!
Granny Smith: Uh, Spike, little feller, could you get us some more eggs?
Spike: Coming right up! [sounds of exertion]
Spike: Uh, oops, sorry, Applejack. Lemme get something to clean that up!
[thud, splash]
Applejack: [sighs] Appreciate all your help today, sugarcube, but... I can take it from here.
Spike: Don't be ridiculous! It is my honor and my duty! Today's just the beginning!
Applejack: What's that now?
Spike: You saved my life! [belches] According to the "Spike the Dragon Code", I owe you a life debt and must serve you.
Granny Smith: Now, what about Twilight? Doesn't she need your help and such?
Spike: [breathes fire] Huh, you're right. I better break the news to Twilight. I just hope she doesn't take it too hard... Be right back!
Spike: Come on, Spike, this is your personal, moral, ethical dragon code we're talking about! You have to do this! It's not like you and Twilight won't be friends anymore... but it won't be the same... but it has to be done. [to Twilight] Twilight, Applejack just saved my life from horrible, dragon-eating timberwolves!
Twilight Sparkle: Mm-hmm...
Spike: And, as you are aware, I adhere to my dragon code, and this means I must serve her for the rest of my natural born days! I'm sure you understand.
Twilight Sparkle: Mm-hmm...
Spike: It's... been an honor... being your faithful assistant.
Twilight Sparkle: Sounds good.
Spike: [sighs]
Spike: She said it was okay.
Applejack and Granny Smith: Really?
Spike: So, with Twilight's blessing, I'm free to follow my code and serve you until–
Spike: Well, until forever!
Applejack: Listen, sugarcube, I completely respect your "dragon code"... Truly I do, but I just can't cotton with you permanently servin' me.
Spike: Please, Applejack, my dragon code is a part of me! I have to be true to myself! If you don't let me do this, I won't be a noble dragon anymore!
Applejack: Oh, well, I can't have you feelin' like you're not a noble dragon now, can I?
Spike: Great! Then from here on in, your wish is my command.
Applejack: Oh, uh, okay... I would like you to... hmm... huh... oh! ...Help me take some of the pie you made to...
Spike: Rarity?
Applejack: Uh, sure, why not?
Spike: I helped bake it.
Rarity: Eugh. [chewing]
Spike: You even look good when you're chewing... [laughs nervously] W-who looks good when they're chewing?
Rarity: [spits]
Spike: Aren't you gonna have some more?
Rarity: I... had a big lunch!
Spike: It's ten in the morning.
Rarity: Breakfast. A big breakfast.
Spike: Ohhh. Okay.
Applejack: Maybe you could take her plate back to the kitchen and wash it off?
Spike: As you wish!
Rarity: What was that all about?
Applejack: [sighs] I saved Spike from some timberwolves in the Everfree Forest, and now he thinks he has to serve me forever.
Rarity: [delighted squeal] Oh, what I wouldn't give to have somepony forever in my debt! I'd get them to organize my closets, and give me pedicures, and help me with my sewing and–
Applejack: Okay, I get it, havin' somepony to do things for you would be a dream come true. But I don't feel right havin' Spike thinkin' he owes me somethin'. And you tasted that pie. Sometimes, his help isn't that helpful.
Spike: Do you... have a broom I could borrow?
[soap bubbles bubbling]
Rainbow Dash: AJ, Rarity, what's happening?
Rarity: Applejack saved Spike's life and now he has to serve her forever.
Rainbow Dash: Sweet! What are you having him do? Wash your laundry? Clean your room? Help you with your unfinished novel? Mine's about this awesome Pegasus who's the best flyer ever and becomes the captain of the Wonderbolts!
Rarity: [sarcastic] How ever did you come up with that ingeniously woven intricate plot line?
Rainbow Dash: Just came to me.
Applejack: Thing is, I don't really want him to serve me forever, but I don't know how to get him to stop.
Rainbow Dash: That's easy! Just make him help you with something really, really hard.
Applejack: I dunno. I don't want him to get hurt.
Rainbow Dash: Puh-lease. He'll quit way before there's even a chance of getting hurt!
Rainbow Dash: [hushed, to Applejack] Leave this to me. [to Spike] Sooo, Spike, Applejack was gonna help me stack some hay so I could practice smashing through it, but I'm feeling extra, extra powerful today.
Applejack: You are?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I am. So instead of hay, I'm gonna smash through rocks!
Spike: Rocks?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah! A huge tower of rocks! And you're gonna build it!
Spike: I am?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I mean, unless you don't wanna help Applejack...
Spike: I do! It is Spike's dragon code!
Rainbow Dash: Then get to it! [to Applejack] Trust me. This is gonna work like a charm!
Spike: [sounds of exertion]
Rainbow Dash: Huh. I was sure he'd give up after, like, three rocks.
Fluttershy: Oh, goodness. If it'd been me, I'd have just pretended I didn't have anything for him to do.
Applejack: Why didn't I think of that?
Spike: [yelling] Is this high enough?
Applejack: That's plenty high! Come on down, Spike!
Rainbow Dash: Bad news: He actually ended up building the whole rock tower. Good news... [nervously] I've got a rock tower to knock down.
Spike: Haha, yeah! You can do it! Haha, hahah, alright, yeah!
Spike: That... was... awesome!
Spike: Wanna do it again, Rainbow Dash? Applejack can rebuild it for you. And when I say "Applejack", I of course mean me!
Rainbow Dash: [dazed] Sure! Why not...?
Applejack: No! I mean, I don't think Rainbow Dash needs any more of your help. My help. She doesn't need it. Right, Rainbow Dash?
Rainbow Dash: Bbbbrrr. Yeah. I guess I'm good. For now.
Applejack: And so am I! I just can't think of one more thing I need help with, so you don't have to do anything else.
Spike: W-What do you mean you can't think of anything else I can help with?
Applejack: Exactly that! There's nothin' else. I don't want you to do anything.
Spike: If I don't help you, how will I know I'm a noble dragon?
Applejack: Well, I–
Spike: Maybe there's things you need help with, but you don't even realize you need help with!
Fluttershy: If she needed help, I think she'd realize it.
Spike: Maybe not! Maybe Applejack needs help realizing what she needs help with. Like... maybe your back itches!
Applejack: Huuuuh... that does feel... good...
Spike: [laughs] See? Or you might need help remembering your favorite song! "The dragon is the finest creature ever, there's more to him than just guarding treasure..."
Fluttershy: I don't think that's her favorite s–
Spike: Or... you might need help breathing!
Applejack: Breathin'? I certainly do not–
[bellows pumping]
[air being let out of balloon]
Spike: See? There are plenty of things I can help you with, and you don't even have to trouble yourself with thinking of them!
Applejack: No, I'll think of 'em. Lemme think of 'em.
Spike: As you wish.
Applejack: Twilight? Twilight, are you there? Twilight!
Twilight Sparkle: Agh!
Applejack: Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] No, it's okay, I need to take a break anyway. What's going on?
Applejack: I know Spike told you that he was gonna follow his dragon code, and serve me forever for savin' him from the timberwolves, and that you were okay with it, but–
Twilight Sparkle: Wait, what?
Applejack: He said he told you all about it. I'm guessin' maybe you were a little distracted when he told you.
Twilight Sparkle: Um, maybe a little...
Applejack: I should've realized you wouldn't have let him go so easily. Well, now that you know what's goin' on, maybe you could talk some sense into him!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Applejack, I wish I could, but this is dragon code we're talking about. Surely you know how important the dragon code is to a dragon!
Applejack: I sure am startin' to.
Twilight Sparkle: Hm, there's only one other way Spike is gonna fulfill the debt he feels he owes you.
Spike: Seventy, seventy-one, seventy-two, seventy-three, seventy-four, seventy-five...
Applejack: All right, y'all, here's the deal. Spike needs to save my life.
Pinkie Pie: And you want us to shoot you out of a cannon towards a hornet's nest and give Spike a butterfly net so he can catch you mere seconds before you hit the nest and are stung by a thousand angry hornets! I'll wear this mustache.
Applejack: No. I am gonna be attacked by a timberwolf!
Rarity, Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash: [gasping]
Pinkie Pie: Can I still wear the mustache?
Applejack: When I give the signal, Pinkie Pie and Rarity will come runnin' out of the woods, bein' pursued by the timberwolf. I'll start to run too, but then pretend to get my hoof stuck. I'll ask Spike to help me dislodge it, and he will, and I'll be able to get away from the terrifyin' timberwolf! Havin' saved me from certain doom, Spike will then consider us even. Everybody get it?
Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash: Uh-huh.
Twilight Sparkle: I'll do my best.
Rarity: Mm-hmm.
Pinkie Pie: Just one question.
Applejack: Yes? [beat] No.
Pinkie Pie: [sighs] Suit yourself.
Rarity: [clears throat] We are all ready to play our parts, ahem, but are you sure you are ready to play yours, Applejack?
Applejack: What d'you mean?
Rarity: Show us your best "damsel in distress" move.
Applejack: Uh... Oh, well, aheh, how's this? Hooooooo.
Rarity: Absolutely horrendous! Okay, this needs some serious work! Now, first, you must lift your foreleg up to your forehead, like so–
Spike: [in distance] Applejack?
Applejack: No time! Here he comes! Uh... over here, Spike!
Spike: [pants] You said you had something else you needed me to do?
Applejack: Oh, yes, I, I was just hopin' you could maybe, uh, sweep up all those leaves for a compost pile, and–
Spike: But of course. Oh, by the way, there are exactly twenty-four million, five hundred and sixty-seven thousand, eight hundred and thirty seven blades of grass at Sweet Apple Acres.
Applejack: I can't believe you counted every single one of 'em...
Spike: You asked me to.
Rainbow Dash: [inhales]
Spike: And, as a noble dragon and follower of my dragon code, I–
Rainbow Dash: [roars like a timberwolf]
Fluttershy: That was very convincing!
Rarity: [screaming] Timberwolf! [sobbing] We are doomed!
Pinkie Pie: [screams]
Rarity: [to Applejack] See? Like that.
[wood clacking]
[wood stomping]
Rainbow Dash: [quietly laughing] [roars like a timberwolf]
Applejack: [unconvincingly] Oh no! I seem to have got my hoof caught in between two rocks! I cannot run away! I am a damsel in distress! Help me, Spike!
Spike: Wait a minute.
Applejack: No, no, don't wait a minute. Save me from the terrifyin' timberwolf!
Spike: Well, he would be terrifying if he wasn't a fake! You got the clomping on his claws...
[string snapping]
Spike: ...The roar was spot on, and the detail on his face is pretty good. But you forgot one thing: his breath! You could smell a real timberwolf's breath from a mile– [sniffs] [laughs] Too late, I'm already on–
[magical poof]
Twilight Sparkle: [screams]
Rainbow Dash: Timberwolf!
[wolf snorts]
[timberwolves roaring]
Spike: Timberwolf!
Applejack: Whooooah!
Applejack: Ow!
[wolf howling in distance]
[wood clicking]
Spike: Uh oh... Applejack, come on!
Applejack: [grunting] I can't! I'm really stuck!
Spike: No more messing around! Let's go!
Applejack: [grunting] Come on...
[giant timberwolf roaring]
Applejack: Forget it, Spike! You gotta get out of here! Would you just forget your dragon code already and go?!
Spike: No! I have to save you!
[giant timberwolf choking]
Spike: Let's get out of here! [grunts]
[giant timberwolf coughing]
Applejack and Spike: [panting]
Twilight Sparkle: What happened to you guys back there? Thought you were right behind us!
Applejack: My hoof was stuck, and that timberwolf was coming right at me!
Rarity: Wait, you were actually stuck?
Spike: Uh-huh!
Applejack: But Spike picked up a pebble, and rocketed that thing right at the huge timberwolf's mouth, and saved my life!
Spike: Aw, it was nothing.
Applejack: It was somethin' alright! 'Course, I wouldn't've needed help if I hadn't been tryin' to stage a fake timberwolf attack in the first place.
Spike: Yeah, what was that all about?
Applejack: [sighs] I know this code thing's important to you, but if somethin' like this comes up in the future, think maybe we can go back to my code, say "that's what friends do" and leave it at that? I promise I won't think of you as any less noble.
Spike: Sounds good to me. But, maybe let's just try to avoid situations where one of us actually needs the other one to save their life?
Applejack: You got yourself a deal.
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks, Spike.
Spike: Happy to help!
Twilight Sparkle: Don't know what I'd do without you.
Spike: No, really! I'm really really really happy to help you!
Twilight Sparkle: [laughs] Oh...