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Episode Testing Testing 1, 2, 3
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Twilight Sparkle: [reading] The magical properties of this spell will only have lasting effects if you focus on—
Rainbow Dash: Yeah! [laughs]
Twilight Sparkle: No! Rainbow Dash! [grunts] How in Equestria does that pony expect to pass her history of the Wonderbolts exam tomorrow if she's wasting time flying?! I'm just gonna fly right up to her and tell her what I think about her lackadaisical approach to studying! Won't she be surprised!
Rainbow Dash: Surprise!
Twilight Sparkle: What? Huh? How did you—
Rainbow Dash: Puh-lease, Twilight. That was the worst sneak attack ever.
Twilight Sparkle: Wha? But—
Rainbow Dash: I saw you giving me the stink-eye from the ground and heard you flying towards me and muttering from a mile away.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, if you heard me "muttering", then you must know what I was "muttering" about.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, yeah, the Wonderbolts history test. No big deal.
Twilight Sparkle: No. Big deal. Really big deal. It's a test! A test that will determine if you can join the newly-formed Wonderbolts Reserves, and being part of the Wonderbolts Reserves means you'll have the opportunity to live your dream as a Wonderbolt! This is the most important test of your life!
Rainbow Dash: Twilight, not everypony gets all freaked out about tests like you.
Twilight Sparkle: I do not get "all freaked out" about tests!
Rainbow Dash: Uh, seriously? Your freakouts are so epic, you sing whole freakout arias about freaking out.
Twilight Sparkle: Fine, I may tend to take my tests a little seriously, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be studying for yours! Oooh! And I know just the pony who can help you: me! This is gonna be so much fun!
[teleporting noises]
Rainbow Dash: Sure. Fun.
[theme song]
Rainbow Dash: [yelps] Wha– huh?
Twilight Sparkle: This is the most complete—
Rainbow Dash: And ginormous!
Twilight Sparkle: —book on the history of the Wonderbolts.
Rainbow Dash: Okay, but how am I supposed to get what's in there into here?
Twilight Sparkle: With my handy-dandy study checklist, of course!
Rainbow Dash: Of course.
Twilight Sparkle: First up, reading and highlighting. Reading and highlighting is the foundation of any good study method. It allows the student to hone in and boil down on what's really important, separating the good from the bad, the wheat from the chaff, getting to the crux of things. Let's see what you've got so far!
Rainbow Dash: Um...
Twilight Sparkle: Huh? Hm, by highlighting everything, you don't really separate the wheat from the chaff... Or the good from the bad. Hey, I am not that tall!
Rainbow Dash: [giggles]
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Okay, Rainbow, clearly reading and highlighting is not your style of studying, so let's move on to the tried and true: History lecture! Yes, Rainbow?
Rainbow Dash: Is it snack time?
Twilight Sparkle: No.
Rainbow Dash: Recess?
Twilight Sparkle: No.
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] Can't we just watch the history of the Wonderbolts movie?!
Twilight Sparkle: No! Now, just get comfortable, and experience the magic of learning. Ahem. Prior to the great Celestia/Luna rift, there was no need for the Earth, Unicorn, Pegasi, or E.U.P., Guard.
Rainbow Dash: [sighs]
[stool creaks and thuds]
Twilight Sparkle: But after Luna's banishment, the Protective Pony Platoons were formed. On the anniversary of the first Celestial year of peace, a celebration was held.
[stool continues creaking]
Owlowiscious: [starts hooting, continues under]
Spike: [starts drumming, continues under]
Twilight Sparkle: Headed by General Firefly, an elite team of aerial performers were chosen to help celebrate this auspicious occasion. The first performance was so full of energy, so highly charged, that magical lightning showered down on the crowd. Everypony was so filled with amazement and wonder that General Firefly dubbed them "the Wonderbolts"!
[Spike and Owlowiscious stop; stool continues creaking]
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash, can you repeat any of my lesson?
[stool creaks]
[horn honks]
Rainbow Dash: [snorts, laughs]
[cards rustling]
Twilight Sparkle: History lecture... nope. [sighs] Okay, Rainbow– Rainbow? Rainbow Dash!
Rainbow Dash: Here!
Twilight Sparkle: Let's move on to my favorite style of learning: flashcards!
Rainbow Dash: Oh, does that mean I'll learn in a flash?
Twilight Sparkle: One can only hope. [inhales] Colonel Purple Dart, the leader of the Wonderbolts in the Fourth Celestial Era, was known for his– wha?! Rainbow! Did you see what happened?
Rainbow Dash: What? No! I was... riveted by your captivating cards!
Twilight Sparkle: Hmm... After becoming the official flying squadron for Princess Celestia, she honored them with– Gotcha!
Rainbow Dash: Got what?
Twilight Sparkle: The original Wonderbolts lightning bolt insignia was– [yelps] Rainbow Dash, you could've hurt me!
Rainbow Dash: With a spit wad? Really?
Twilight Sparkle: A spit wad to the eye would have been no laughing matter!
Twilight Sparkle: Well, if you can horse around like this, then you clearly must be ready for the test.
Rainbow Dash: Clearly.
Twilight Sparkle: Well then, I guess you're also ready for a...
[teleporting noise]
Twilight Sparkle: Pop quiz!
Rainbow Dash: Bring it!
[teleporting noise]
Twilight Sparkle: The initials E.U.P. stand for what?
Rainbow Dash: Ernie's undercooked pancakes.
Twilight Sparkle: The original aerial team performed for...?
Rainbow Dash: Celestia's cereal celebration.
Twilight Sparkle: The Wonderbolts were given their name by this famous Pegasus. Who is she? [to herself] Please don't say Colonel Waffle...
Rainbow Dash: Hello? General Blazing Donut Glaze! [scoffs] So, did I ace it or what?
Twilight Sparkle: Or what. You didn't get one answer correct.
Rainbow Dash: What? But– but how?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know. I've never heard answers so wrong! And so breakfast-related!
Rainbow Dash: [stomach growls]
Twilight Sparkle: If you had taken the official test today...
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] My dreams of being in the Wonderbolts Reserve would have been totally crushed! [gasps] What am I gonna do? I'm running out of time! I don't know any of this history! I'm gonna fail!
[door opens]
Rainbow Dash: I'm gonna fail, I'm gonna fail, I'm gonna fail! And it's all your fault!
Twilight Sparkle: My fault?! I'm the one helping you!
Rainbow Dash: Maybe your famous study methods aren't all they're cracked up to be, eh, teacher?!
Twilight Sparkle: Excuse me, I've used them to study for many a test and passed!
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, right.
Twilight Sparkle: Do you know the name of the premiere Wonderbolts choreographer?
Rainbow Dash: Uh, well—
Twilight Sparkle: Commander Easyglider. Do you know how many Pegasi flew in the original squad?
Rainbow Dash: Um—
Twilight Sparkle: Seven! Do you know Princess Celestia's favorite flight pattern?! The Icaranian Sun Salutation! See? I could pass the test.
Rainbow Dash: Fine! Rub it in, why don't ya? Besides, I don't see why I have to take this lousy test anyway. I've proven I'm one of the best flyers around.
Twilight Sparkle: Knowing their origin and being able to properly represent them for all of Equestria is just as important.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, right. Some history buff like you must have made that up to bring us flyers down.
Twilight Sparkle: Knowing history actually is beneficial, Rainbow.
Rainbow Dash: [blows raspberry] Beneficial for eggheads!
Fluttershy: Girls.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, this egghead knows history and can fly. Maybe I should become a Wonderbolt.
Rainbow Dash: Just 'cause you've got wings, doesn't mean you can fly!
Fluttershy: Girls!
Rainbow Dash: You're barely able to just get off the ground!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle: [grunts]
Fluttershy: Girls! Stop! Now, is that any way to talk to a friend?
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, sorry.
Fluttershy: Don't you have more important things to do? Like prepare Rainbow for her big test?
Twilight Sparkle: I've tried everything, Fluttershy, but none of my study methods work for her.
Fluttershy: Well, no offense to your teaching methods, Twilight, but I think I may have a way to help Rainbow.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, who's that, who's that?
Fluttershy: Celestia and Luna, back when they were happy.
Opalescence: [mewls]
[Tank's gyrocopter buzzing]
Rainbow Dash: Uh... now what?
Fluttershy: Gummy's an Earth pony, Winona's a unicorn, and Tank is a Pegasus.
Twilight Sparkle: They're the E.U.P., helping to protect the Princess.
Rainbow Dash: Uh, how are you getting all this?
Fluttershy: Oh, no!
[various thuds and crunches]
Rainbow Dash: Stop, stop, stop! That was aw—
Pinkie Pie: Awesome! I give it three woohoo's! Woohoo, woohoo, woohoo! And an extra "woo" for good measure! Woo!
Rainbow Dash: Well, I give it a "whoa, whoa, what?" I'm totally confused and I just wanna go home... Whoa– hey!
Pinkie Pie: Whoa your woes there, woeful. Some ponies learn through theatrical presentation, but other ponies learn through musical intervention.
[Pinkie Pie]
[beatboxing, turntable scratching noises]
Well, back in ancient times, there were the Wonderbolts of old
A general named Firefly, amazing and so...
[Pinkie Pie, Goldengrape, and Dr. Hooves]
[Pinkie Pie]
She brought them all together, spreading unity...
[Pinkie Pie, Goldengrape, and Dr. Hooves]
In flight!
[Pinkie Pie]
Performing at their very best with wonder...
[Pinkie Pie, Goldengrape, and Dr. Hooves]
And with might!
[Pinkie Pie]
There's Admiral Fairweather and the Colonel Purple...
[Pinkie Pie, Goldengrape, and Dr. Hooves]
[Pinkie Pie]
Gave Wonderbolts a bit of steel along with...
[Pinkie Pie, Goldengrape, and Dr. Hooves]
Lots of heart!
[Pinkie Pie]
An admiral named Fairy Flight and general called...
[Pinkie Pie, Goldengrape, and Dr. Hooves]
[Pinkie Pie]
Helped the 'bolts fly super high...
[Pinkie Pie, Goldengrape, and Dr. Hooves]
With style and panache!
[Pinkie Pie]
Commander Easyglider was the real cream of...
[Pinkie Pie, Goldengrape, and Dr. Hooves]
The crop!
[Pinkie Pie]
For with her wicked moves, the Wonderbolts...
[Pinkie Pie, Goldengrape, and Dr. Hooves]
Soared to the top!
[Pinkie Pie]
Wonderbolts, yeah! Wonderbolts...
[Pinkie Pie, Goldengrape, and Dr. Hooves]
[Pinkie Pie]
Wonderbolts, yeah! Wonderbolts...
[Pinkie Pie, Goldengrape, and Dr. Hooves]
[Pinkie Pie]
That is my rappin' history of the Wonderbolts!
Pinkie Pie: So, d'you get it?
Rainbow Dash: Yes, Pinkie Pie! [poorly imitating rap-style sounds] General This and Colonel That, they're the Wonderbolts, something that rhymes with that!
Pinkie Pie: That... was pretty terrible.
Rainbow Dash: What?! No... really? But I've gotta learn this stuff! Now!
Rarity: And I am just the pony to help!
Rainbow Dash: Rarity, you look ridiculous.
Rarity: I am going to ignore that comment out of my desire to help you.
Rainbow Dash: Good luck.
Rarity: Get ready, Rainbow Dash, for I am going to take you on an historical adventure in fashion! I am now modeling the rather unattractive, and frankly itchy, original Wonderbolts flying costume. Fortunately, thanks to the vision of Flair d'Mare, the Wonderbolts ensemble became more streamlined in a wonderfully breathable fabric. Of course, there were fashion hits... and misses. Just look at those dreadful bell-bottoms. What were ponies thinking?
Pinkie Pie: I dunno. I bet General Flash rocked these thangs!
Rainbow Dash: [yelps] Pinkie, you're real!
Pinkie Pie: Of course I'm real! I mean I'm not the real General Flash, the tenth leader of the Wonderbolts, but I, Pinkie, am really real.
Fluttershy: And I'm Admiral Fairy Flight, from the seventh squadron.
Twilight Sparkle: And of course you recognize Commander Easyglider.
Applejack: And I'm sportin' some sort of getup worn by Colonel Purple Dart.
Rainbow Dash: [panicked breathing]
Rarity: Just look at us.
Twilight Sparkle: Look at us.
Pinkie Pie: Look at me!
Rainbow Dash: It's too much for my eyes!
Applejack: Now, don't you fret, Rainbow. This fashion show nonsense wouldn't help me learn nothin', either.
Rainbow Dash: Really? Well, what special study trick do you have, AJ?
Applejack: Who, me? Oh, I got nothing.
Rainbow Dash: [sighs]
Applejack: Why, I could tell you every little thing there is to know about the history of apples, but I picked all that up over years in the field as a labor of love. How much time you got?
Rainbow Dash: Twelve hours.
Applejack: Oh, then you are up a creek.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I think we should just go back to old-fashioned studying.
Fluttershy: What about our play?
Rarity: Just look at these costumes! Surely something resonates with your inner Wonderbolt!
Applejack: And Granny Smith discovered the first granny smith in Fillydelphia, when she was just a filly!
[Pinkie Pie]
Commander Easyglider was the real cream of the crop—
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, stop rapping! That isn't gonna help Rainbow!
[Pinkie Pie]
Well, I suggest you put down your silly cards of flash,
For I know that they cannot help our good friend Rainbow Dash!
Main cast sans Rainbow Dash: [arguing]
Rainbow Dash: Enough! No rapping, no cards, no costumes, no play, and no apples! I am never gonna pass this test, ever! Just forget it!
Twilight Sparkle: [panting] Rainbow, I'm sorry about all that! We didn't mean to overwhelm you!
Rainbow Dash: It's okay. You were just trying to help. It's just too bad I'm too dumb to learn anything.
Twilight Sparkle: You are not dumb! You just learn differently!
Rainbow Dash: If by "differently" you mean "not at all", then you're totally right.
Twilight Sparkle: No, that's totally wrong.
Rainbow Dash: See? Wrong again.
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know anypony that's read more Daring Do books than you.
Rainbow Dash: Well, that's not going to get me into the Wonderbolts.
Twilight Sparkle: And your knowledge of jokes and pranks is only rivaled by Pinkie.
Rainbow Dash: Great. My years of being a class clown prevented me from actually learning how to learn!
Twilight Sparkle: That's not what I meant. You're smart, creative, inventive, and– ugh! Hey! I know you're upset, but you don't need to—
[Rainbow Helicopter blades whirring]
Twilight Sparkle: Whoa... I almost slammed into that!
Rainbow Dash: I know. You were jabbering on so much you didn't even notice.
Twilight Sparkle: But how did you notice? You were listening and talking to me the whole time!
Rainbow Dash: Ha-hah, you're such a rookie. An experienced flyer like me knows how to multitask.
Twilight Sparkle: While you fly?
Rainbow Dash: It's essential! Yes, I was paying attention to you, but was also scanning the sky and the ground for any problems.
Twilight Sparkle: Really?
Rainbow Dash: Flying's not just flying!
[sound of VHS rewinding]
Rainbow Dash: In order to stay safe in the sky, I've got to hear and see everything down to the littlest details. For instance, I saw Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo come out of Sugarcube Corner, and from the looks of it, they had carrot cupcakes with sprinkles. And I'm thinking Big Mac sold a huge order of apples to Filthy Rich, 'cause I heard him give a very hearty—
Big McIntosh and Rainbow Dash: "Eeyup".
Rainbow Dash: I always make note of everything when I fly. No biggie.
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Oh, my gosh!
Rainbow Dash: What?
Twilight Sparkle: Gotta go!
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I get it. I wouldn't want to hang out with a loser like me either. [sad groan]
[thunder rumbles]
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks for meeting me, everypony.
Applejack: What is it, Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: We have to help Rainbow Dash.
[telescope creaks]
Fluttershy: Yes, but how?
Rarity: We've tried every kind of studying. My way, your way...
Twilight Sparkle: But we haven't tried Rainbow Dash's way.
Pinkie Pie: Hmm, I'm intrigued.
[records scratching]
Twilight Sparkle: Okay. Listen up, ponies, here's the plan. [unintelligible whispering]
Twilight Sparkle: Hey, Rainbow. Wanna go for a fly?
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] Sure. Got nothing better to do. Didn't we just do this?
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, but like you said, I'm such a newbie, I need all the practice I can get.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, well, I'm sure you'll become a great flyer in no time. After all, you're good at everything.
Twilight Sparkle: So... what's going on?
Rainbow Dash: Oh, nothing. Just getting my dreams crushed.
Twilight Sparkle: Uh... read any good books lately?
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] Just history books. I'd tell you what they were about, but my brain is as dry as a rock.
Twilight Sparkle: Speaking of rocks, did you know Pinkie Pie grew up on a rock farm? [short nervous laugh]
Rainbow Dash: Maybe I'll go work there as I have no other plans for the rest of my life.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, come on now, Rainbow. You can't give up on your dream!
Rainbow Dash: Seems my dream has given up on me. Maybe I'll learn to shine shoes, sell hats, dig ditches...
Twilight Sparkle: Or maybe you'll be a Wonderbolt.
Rainbow Dash: Twilight, give it up! I have.
Twilight Sparkle: So, what do you remember about that flight?
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] Nothing important. Except after Luna was banished to the moon, Celestia needed protective forces, so Earth, unicorn, and Pegasi formed the E.U.P. Guard of the Protective Pony Platoons.
Twilight Sparkle: Yes...?
Rainbow Dash: [getting happier] And, at the celebration of the first Celestial year of peace, an elite flying squadron performed, headed by General Firefly, who later named the group the Wonderbolts!
Twilight Sparkle: Uh-huh...?
Rainbow Dash: Commander Easyglider established flight choreography that is still used by the Wonderbolts today!
Twilight Sparkle: Yes!
Rainbow Dash: I... I know the history! I know it all! But how in Equestria did that happen?
Twilight Sparkle: You learned it!
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I got that! But how?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, on our first flight, I discovered that you catalog everything that happens all around you when you're flying, without even thinking about it! Don't you see?
[sound of VHS rewinding]
Twilight Sparkle: I made use of your special skills by enlisting everypony to help you learn the history of the Wonderbolts!
Fluttershy: I, Princess Celestia, banish you, Princess Luna, to the moon.
Rarity: Noooooo!
Apple Bloom: Earth!
Sweetie Belle: Unicorn!
Scootaloo: Pegasus!
Apple Bloom: E!
Sweetie Belle: U!
Scootaloo: P!
Big McIntosh: Eeyup!
Fluttershy: Let us celebrate our first Celestial year of peace!
Pinkie Pie: Yeah, let's party! I'm General Firefly! Gee, my costume is itchy and unattractive, but I'm gonna assemble an awesome flying team!
[cannon exploding]
Pinkie Pie: I'll call them... the Wonderbolts!
Rarity: Streamlined style by Flair d'Mare!
Pegasus Stallion #1: Admiral Fairweather!
"Downdraft": Colonel Purple Dart!
Sassaflash: Admiral Fairy Flight!
Pegasus Stallion #2: General Flash!
"High Note": Commander Easyglider!
Fluttershy: The history of the Wonderbolts!
Rainbow Dash: Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Thank you! Thank you all so much!
Twilight Sparkle: You're welcome, but it all came from you. You learned without knowing you're learning. Your main focus is flying, but then your brain is also absorbing lots of other information! It's actually really brilliant!
Rainbow Dash: Ha, I always knew I was brilliant!
Main cast: [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash finally learned the history of the Wonderbolts, but she's not the only pony that needed a lesson; I needed to learn something just as important. One way of learning isn't better than another. After all, every pony is unique and individual.
[papers rustling]
Rainbow Dash: Yeeeaah! Whoo!