Transcripts/The Comet Section; Cotton Candy-Colored Glasses

The Comet Section; Cotton Candy-Colored Glasses

Transcript
Episode	The Comet Section; Cotton Candy-Colored Glasses
Previous	Cute Impact; The Crystal Capturing Contraption
Next	Close Encounters of the Balloon Kind; The Tiara of Truth
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[theme song]

The Comet Section

Twilight Sparkle: Wow! Is all this for the Cotton Candy Comet Festival?

Rarity: Oh, of course, darling! It's going to be an unmissable, once-in-a-lifetime, extra-grand extravaganza! I've booked the incomparable DJ Pon-3 as our musical accompaniment, and I've asked Zesty here to prepare a cosmic-sized party sub. But it's still missing one thing. You! I was hoping you could use that big, beautiful noodle of yours to calculate when the comet will arrive down to the second. [claps]

Twilight Sparkle: Hmm...

[zip!]

Twilight Sparkle: Considering relative speed, mass, and density, and of course factoring in Ponpernicus' law of celestial bodies, I predict that it's impossible to calculate exactly when it will arrive.

[thud]

Rarity: All right, but if you had to? Say, down to the second?

Twilight Sparkle: Hmmm... I guess 8:23pm and twelve seconds?

Rarity: I knew your noodle could do it!

[electronic music]

Rarity: Come one, come all, to the pony event of the year! The Cotton Candy Comet Festival!

Applejack: [sniffs] Well, I've never seen so much sandwich in one place. Rarity, can we dig in?

Rarity: Momentarily, darling. The festival begins once the comet arrives in... nine seconds!

[zip!]

Rarity: Esteemed guests, cast your eyes upward at the magnificent splendor of the Cotton Candy Comet!

[beat]

Rarity: Wait for it... Wait for it... Continue to wait for it...

[crowd murmuring]

Rarity: Keep waiting for it...

[zip!]

Rarity: Twilight! Where's my comet?!

Twilight Sparkle: I don't know! I must not have calculated for orbital interference! And the speed, divide by density... [gasps] The comet won't actually arrive until tomorrow!

Rarity: Tomorrow?!

[zip!]

Rarity: Thank you all so much for coming to this dress rehearsal of the Cotton Candy Comet Festival.

[crowd grumbles]

Rarity: The real festival will take place tomorrow night!

[crowd grumbling]

Rarity: Huh? Twilight, there you are!

[boxes shuffling]

Rarity: I've nearly recreated my festival for this evening. Zesty was able to prepare another delicious sandwich. On short notice, she wasn't actually able to make it party-sized. And I couldn't re-book DJ Pon-3, but I was able to find backup in the form of—

[discordant guitar]

Spike: Sorry. Just trying to remember how to play.

[twang!]

[microphone feedback]

Rarity: Just keep practicing, Spike. Everything will be fine if we know exactly when the comet will arrive.

Twilight Sparkle: Right. So I reworked the math, and the comet should arrive tonight at exactly 7:57 and seven seconds.

Rarity: Ooh!

[acoustic guitar]

[crowd murmuring]

Rarity: Welcome, welcome, welcome to the Cotton Candy Comet Festival! Gaze upon the most astounding sight your pony eyes have pony-seen!

Twilight Sparkle: [whispering]

Rarity: Tomorrow?! Uhhhh... Just kidding! This was another dress rehearsal!

[crowd grumbling]

Rarity: See you all tomorrow for the real deal!

[crowd murmuring]

[saxophone playing]

Rarity: [whimpers]

[beat]

[crowd grumbling]

[keyboard clacking]

[paper flapping]

Zesty: [burps]

[deep horn sound]

[crowd grumbling]

[keyboard clacking]

Rarity: Twilight! You're supposed to be a genius! Where's my comet?!

Twilight Sparkle: I don't know! I'm sorry. I know everypony is counting on me, but... I just can't figure it out! I'm a failure!

[shatter!]

Rarity: [gasps] Oh, Twilight. I've been so focused on planning a festival to impress my friends that I forgot to actually be a friend. Allow me to help you with this rascally space rock.

Twilight Sparkle: The comet just doesn't seem to adhere to the laws of physics.

Rarity: I know how she feels. Some of us naturally defy expectations.

Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Are you suggesting that the comet defies the laws of physics because it's not governed by science but instead by magic? And therefore adheres to a completely different set of mathematical principles?!

Rarity: You... took the words right out of my mouth.

[door opens]

Pinkie Pie: [gasps]

Rarity: Behold! We've cracked the code of the Cotton Candy Comet!

Twilight Sparkle: We know exactly when it'll show up, which means we can plan the perfect festival to celebrate!

Fluttershy: Are you really sure this time?

Rarity: Absolutely, Flutter-bug. I have faith in Twilight. And luckily, we still have our entertainment in place.

[discordant music]

Rarity: We have some work to do.

Rest of Mane Six: [laugh]

Cotton Candy-Colored Glasses

Pinkie Pie: Ooh! I can't wait to see this comet!

Fluttershy: I haven't been this excited for something since Roger the Singing Dolphin 3: Sing Louder came out!

Rarity: After all of those almost-comet-arrivals, I thought my enthusiasm would've dwindled, but no. I too am excited!

Rainbow Dash: And I've been thinking. What if we use this opportunity to get a new mixer for the shop?

Pinkie Pie: Well, we could stand to replace the old one. So what did you have in mind?

Rainbow Dash: So glad you asked. I'm gonna sell some of my nifty homemade crafted merch at the comet viewing. Hats, silly straws in the shape of a comet's tail, actual cotton candy, and T-shirts!

Pinkie Pie: [reading] "I Saw the Comet and All I Got Was This T-Shirt, and I Don't Know What's Better – the Shirt or the Comet".

[beat]

Pinkie Pie: I like it!

Rarity: Fab-dibby-dabulous! And just my size, too!

[rip!]

Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash: [gasp]

Pinkie Pie: [giggles]

Rainbow Dash: Get your comet stuff! Remember the thing you haven't done yet before it happens so you'll never forget it again after it does!

[crowd gasps]

Reuse Pony: Oh! New T-shirts!

Rainbow Dash: Yeah! And they say "I Saw the Comet and All I Got Was—"

Twilight Sparkle: Hi, hi, sorry, sorry, give me a second!

Rainbow Dash: What is it, Twilight? I'm in the middle of a sale.

Twilight Sparkle: That's just it. I found something else you can sell. I was telling the other ponies about it, and I had to show you. Crystal glasses that let you see the full kaleidoscope of the comet's colors. You can order them in bulk on eNeigh.

Rainbow Dash: These... are... perfect!

Reuse Pony: Sorry, can I just, uh... I wanna grab that silly straw.

Rainbow Dash: Oh. I'm sorry. Here you go!

Reuse Pony: [groans] I've seen sillier.

Rainbow Dash: [groans] I need those glasses.

[beeping]

Rainbow Dash: [gasps] What? They're all sold out!

Twilight Sparkle: Huh?

Rainbow Dash: All of them!

Twilight Sparkle: No way!

Rainbow Dash: How did this happen?!

Twilight Sparkle: I don't know. It said they were in stock.

[wheels squeaking]

Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash: [grunting]

Dishwater Slog: Never reveal a trade secret in front of a bush. You never know who's scheming behind it. And... complete order! [laughs evilly]

[fly buzzing]

Dishwater Slog: [coughs] Ugh, okay.

Applejack: Aw, shucks, Rainbow. I'm sorry about the glasses. It would've been fun, but you've got plenty of other great merch to choose from.

Rainbow Dash: I know.

Dishwater Slog: Get your comet swag! Get your crystal glasses guaranteed to make the comet look absolutely astounding!

Rainbow Dash: Dishwater's got the glasses!

[zip!]

Rainbow Dash: I gotta investigate. Here. AJ, can I borrow that banana bandana?

Applejack: Uh...

Rainbow Dash: [clears throat] How do I look?

Twilight Sparkle: Uh, like you? But more "ap-peel-ing"?

Rainbow Dash: [sighs] It'll have to do.

[zip!]

Dishwater Slog: Get your crystal glasses guaranteed to make—!

Rainbow Dash: [clears throat, posh accent] Hello there. I'm... Fancy Banana Moonbeam, and I'd like to buy some glasses.

Applejack: [whispering] "Fancy Banana Moonbeam"?

Twilight Sparkle: [whispering] I kinda like it.

Dishwater Slog: Okay. That'll be two hundred bits, please.

Rainbow Dash: Two hundred?! Hah! That's ten times what they cost online! No way, pal!

Dishwater Slog: [gasps] Rainbow Dash?!

Rainbow Dash: Uh, um... [clears throat] Er...

Applejack: Well, w-we gotta go! Good luck with your price gougin'!

[zip!]

Rainbow Dash: [groans] This is the worst! Now nopony can afford the special glasses!

Twilight Sparkle: We'll still be able to see the comet. Just not as bright. Or colorful. Or sparkly.

Rainbow Dash: That's not helping!

Applejack: Hang on a second. I might have an idea. Meet me at my apple shack before the comet viewin' tomorrow. For once, you're gonna be glad I never throw anythin' away. [chuckles]

Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash: Huh?

Dishwater Slog: Comet glasses! Get your comet glasses! Only two hundred bits a pop! Nopony? Nopony? Sure you don't wanna see all the comet's colors?

Fluttershy: [scoffs] Not for that price, thank you very little!

[rumbling]

[crowd gasps]

Rarity: Oh, bobbins! That is the grandest accessory I have ever beheld!

Twilight Sparkle: But how did you do it?

Applejack: Well, I knew those glasses looked familiar. Turns out I still had my great aunt Goldie's great granny's cousin Strudel's leftover glasses from the comet's last appearance squirrelled away. So Rainbow and I figured a way that the whole town could enjoy 'em.

[boom!]

[crowd cheers]

Mane Six and Crowd: [sounds of awe]

Rainbow Dash: And it's so much better because now all of us can share the awesomeness together. Everypony, come look! The comet's coming!

[crowd cheering]

Rainbow Dash: Who needs a new mixer when you're mixing it up with friends like this?

Dishwater Slog: Ugh!

[crack!]

Dishwater Slog: [sighs]

[credits]