Transcripts/The De-Stress Ball; Mad Props

The De-Stress Ball; Mad Props

Transcript
Episode	The De-Stress Ball; Mad Props
Previous	Playwright or Wrong; The Shows Must Go On
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[theme song]

The De-Stress Ball

[crowd cheering]

Rarity: Thank you! Merci! ¡Gracias!

[cheering stops]

Rainbow Dash: Great dress rehearsal. Tomorrow night will be a piece of cake.

Rarity: "A piece of cake"? A piece of cake was grammar school. A piece of cake was the last thing I ate, and it was divine. No! This is live theater! Anything is possible.

Twilight Sparkle: Give us examples.

Rarity: You could forget your lines. The lights could fall. Worst of all, you could get stage fright. [laughs]

Rest of Mane Six: [gasp]

Applejack: O-Out of curiosity, w-what does stage fright feel like?

Rarity: Your legs shake. Your knees buckle. Your mouth gets dry.

Applejack: [grunting]

[splash!]

Applejack: Well, that plumb explains it. I've got stage fright!

Rest of Mane Six: [gasp]

Rarity: I have the most superb solution.

Pinkie Pie: More cake? I'm pretty hungry.

Gummy: [chomps]

Pinkie Pie: [chomps]

Rest of Mane Six: [laugh]

Pinkie Pie: [whimpers]

Rarity: Tonight, I'm throwing a de-stress ball. It's what we actors do the night before an opening night. We chill out, get our zen on, and make all the collywobbles and worries go away.

Fluttershy: This'll cure your problem for sure, Applejack.

Applejack: [grunts]

[doors open]

Rarity: Prepare to de-stress. Beanbags for your bottom, candles for your comfort, and treats for your tummy.

Pinkie Pie: [squeals] Is that peppermint popcorn?

Rarity: Peppermint is a natural calmer.

Applejack: Yum. But I still got the fright.

[knock on door]

Applejack: [whimpers]

Rarity: I wonder who that could be. [whispers] I know who it is.

[zip!]

Rarity: Friends, allow me to introduce... Chamomilia! She will be guiding us in relaxation techniques.

Chamomilia: [sniffs] Sweet child, I'm glad you called me. There's stage fright in this room.

[thunder]

Chamomilia: Let's get down to business. Find your chill zone. Close your eyes.

Mane Six: [sigh]

Chamomilia: Take a deep breath in, and hold it.

Mane Six: [inhale]

Chamomilia: Hold it... Hold it...

Mane Six: [grunting]

Chamomilia: Hold it! What is that? [chomping] Mmmm!

Mane Six: [grunting]

Rarity: [strained] We need to breathe, Cammy...!

Chamomilia: And exhale slowly out.

Mane Six: [panting]

Chamomilia: [sighs] Wasn't that relaxing? Now, picture yourself on stage tomorrow night.

Chamomilia: [narrating] All of your friends and family watching you from their seats. See how proud they are of you.

Applejack: Hey. I reckon I'm feelin' better.

Chamomilia: See how disappointed they would be if you forgot your lines.

Rest of Mane Six and Big McIntosh: [growl]

Applejack: [whimpers]

[crowd booing]

[splat!]

Applejack: [whimpers] I reckon I spoke too soon.

Chamomilia: I know you worry about tripping on stage in front of everypony.

Rainbow Dash: Uh...

Chamomilia: But that won't happen. Will it?

Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash: [whimper]

Chamomilia: And everypony, open your eyes. See? Isn't that better?

Fluttershy: [whimpers] I think I've got stage fright. And it's all I can think about! It's contagious!

Pinkie Pie: I think I've got it, too!

Rainbow Dash: Now I got it!

Twilight Sparkle: Me, too!

Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash: [whimper]

Chamomilia: [chewing] Mmmm.

[watch beeps]

Chamomilia: That's my time. Afraid I need to go home, watch my stories, and knit. I knit now.

[clatter]

Rarity: [gasps]

Chamomilia: I'll send you an invoice, Rarity.

[door closes]

Rarity: [whimpers, faints]

Pinkie Pie: [worried noise]

Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]

[shatter!]

Fluttershy: [whimpers]

Rarity: [wails]

Applejack: [sighs]

Rarity: What's gotten into you?

Applejack: That's just the thing. Nothin's gotten into me. Somethin's left me. I lost my stage fright!

Rest of Mane Six: [gasp]

Pinkie Pie: How'd you do that?!

Rarity: Yes, please tell us! I need this bewitching brain spell gone!

Rest of Mane Six: Mm-hmm.

Applejack: It's the funniest doggone thing. Now that everypony's got stage fright, I feel less alone. And that's what bein' in a cast is all about, right?

Rarity: You speak the truth.

Applejack: The only way we get over our joint stage fright is to do our show tomorrow. And I'm golly-gee determined to go on stage tomorrow with all of my best friends!

Fluttershy: Hey, I'm relaxed again.

Pinkie Pie: Hmmm... I am, too.

Rainbow Dash: Explains the smell.

Rarity: You've saved opening night, Applejack!

Applejack: It was your de-stress ball, Rarity. It worked its magic.

Rarity: It really did. Now, actors, picture it. The theater gets dark. The curtain goes up. A spotlight shines on... us!

[crowd cheers]

Applejack: Showtime!

Mad Props

[Rarity]

[operatically] Me, me, me, all about me!

Ugh! Darling, you're pitchy! [to reflection] You're pitchy!

Applejack: Let me know when you're done. This high-falutin' updo won't stay up. My character can't have a down-do.

Pinkie Pie: Twilight, your prop list spreadsheet is flawless! It's every single item used in the show organized perfectly!

Twilight Sparkle: Thanks, Pinkie. I really wanted to make sure I got it right so the play can go off without a hitch. I included everything!

Pinkie Pie: Almost everything. Technically, this tablet is a prop.

Twilight Sparkle: Well, scroll down to the very bottom.

Pinkie Pie: [gasps] There it is!

Twilight Sparkle: Everything goes into the spreadsheet, along with apples, a frying pan, a mirror, an old bucket, this calculator, some pizza, a wheelbarrow, an iced tea pitcher, a dozen squishy cube things...

Pinkie Pie: Places! Thank you! Places!

Twilight Sparkle: Oops. Time to go.

[zip!]

Rainbow Dash: You ponies are the greatest to ever grace the stage, and I know about greatness. Pre-show ritual on three! One! Two! Three!

Mane Six: [???] theater!

Rarity: ...theater!

Pinkie Pie: It's showtime!

[door opens]

Rarity: [sighs] It is cold out there. Dang near freezing.

Fluttershy: [stilted] It is cold in here, too. It has been cold in here for years.

[crack!]

Rarity: You want heat? You want heat?! What do we look like – billionaires?!

[flames roaring]

Fluttershy: Ooh!

[hiss]

Fluttershy: Awww.

[crowd laughing]

Rainbow Dash: Yes!

Twilight Sparkle: Yes!

[ominous music]

[electrical sounds]

[ka-chunk!]

[crowd murmuring]

Rainbow Dash: Uh, did we hook up the stage lights wrong?

Twilight Sparkle: Should I go try to fix it?

[electrical sounds]

[ka-chunk!]

Rarity: You say you want heat? We can't even keep the lights on around here!

Rarity and Fluttershy: [nervous laugh]

[crowd cheers]

Pinkie Pie: What a pro.

Applejack: Sometimes, I feel like I want to gallop far, far away from all of this. You know, just gettin' out of this here town and havin' a history hoedown.

[crowd laughing]

[poof!]

Applejack: Uhhh... there's... nothin' here for me, anymore.

[poof!]

Applejack: Huh?

Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash: Huh?

Applejack: It's like outgrowin' an old coat.

[poof!]

[crowd laughing]

Applejack: You want to put it on again...

[poof!]

Applejack: ...but it just doesn't...

[poof!]

Applejack: ...fit the same way anymore. So...

[poofing]

Applejack: ...you have to keep changin' your clothes! Always movin' forward!

[poof!]

[crowd laughing]

Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash: [nervous laugh]

Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I'd give all the stars in the solar system – the planets, too – to stay here. But we've got two days to leave.

[crowd gasps]

Audience Pony: [crying]

Fluttershy: [stilted] But... But this is our home. What will become of us?

[poof!]

[crowd laughing]

Fluttershy: [whimpers]

Twilight Sparkle: I didn't do that. Two days, huh?

[poofing]

Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]

Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy: [gasping]

[crowd laughing]

[ding!]

Fluttershy: [whispers] Pssst. Follow my lead. [stilted] What will become of us? Nowhere to live. Nothing to hold onto.

[poof!]

Twilight Sparkle: It's like... It's like all the things we hold dear in this world are just going away.

[crowd awww's]

[Rarity]

[operatically] Whaaaaat a glorious niiiiight

[poof!]

[thud]

[crowd laughing]

[poof!]

[French music]

[clink]

Applejack and Rarity: [slurp]

Pinkie Pie: I declare that this orange juice is the best in all the land! Nom-nom-nom. Gulp, gulp.

[crowd murmuring]

Rainbow Dash: [chomps]

[poof!]

Rainbow Dash: Huh?

Rest of Mane Six: [gasp]

Rainbow Dash: Ooh. Huh?

Mane Six: [gasp]

[prop monster roars]

Rainbow Dash: Uh...

[prop monster roars]

Rarity: Don't you see? Our possessions are keeping us down. We need to fight materialism! Hah!

Mane Six: [grunting]

[poof!]

Rarity: Huh?

[thud]

Mane Six: [panting]

[crowd cheers]

Twilight Sparkle: What in Celestia's green Equestria just happened?!

Pinkie Pie: I know, right? I didn't have "big magical monster thingy" on my prop list, but there it was. In the play.

[crowd cheering]

[ominous music]

[credits]