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Episode The De-Stress Ball; Mad Props
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[theme song]

The De-Stress Ball

[crowd cheering]
Rarity: Thank you! Merci! ¡Gracias!
[cheering stops]
Rainbow Dash: Great dress rehearsal. Tomorrow night will be a piece of cake.
Rarity: "A piece of cake"? A piece of cake was grammar school. A piece of cake was the last thing I ate, and it was divine. No! This is live theater! Anything is possible.
Twilight Sparkle: Give us examples.
Rarity: You could forget your lines. The lights could fall. Worst of all, you could get stage fright. [laughs]
Rest of Mane Six: [gasp]
Applejack: O-Out of curiosity, w-what does stage fright feel like?
Rarity: Your legs shake. Your knees buckle. Your mouth gets dry.
Applejack: [grunting]
Applejack: Well, that plumb explains it. I've got stage fright!
Rest of Mane Six: [gasp]
Rarity: I have the most superb solution.
Pinkie Pie: More cake? I'm pretty hungry.
Gummy: [chomps]
Pinkie Pie: [chomps]
Rest of Mane Six: [laugh]
Pinkie Pie: [whimpers]
Rarity: Tonight, I'm throwing a de-stress ball. It's what we actors do the night before an opening night. We chill out, get our zen on, and make all the collywobbles and worries go away.
Fluttershy: This'll cure your problem for sure, Applejack.
Applejack: [grunts]
[doors open]
Rarity: Prepare to de-stress. Beanbags for your bottom, candles for your comfort, and treats for your tummy.
Pinkie Pie: [squeals] Is that peppermint popcorn?
Rarity: Peppermint is a natural calmer.
Applejack: Yum. But I still got the fright.
[knock on door]
Applejack: [whimpers]
Rarity: I wonder who that could be. [whispers] I know who it is.
Rarity: Friends, allow me to introduce... Chamomilia! She will be guiding us in relaxation techniques.
Chamomilia: [sniffs] Sweet child, I'm glad you called me. There's stage fright in this room.
Chamomilia: Let's get down to business. Find your chill zone. Close your eyes.
Mane Six: [sigh]
Chamomilia: Take a deep breath in, and hold it.
Mane Six: [inhale]
Chamomilia: Hold it... Hold it...
Mane Six: [grunting]
Chamomilia: Hold it! What is that? [chomping] Mmmm!
Mane Six: [grunting]
Rarity: [strained] We need to breathe, Cammy...!
Chamomilia: And exhale slowly out.
Mane Six: [panting]
Chamomilia: [sighs] Wasn't that relaxing? Now, picture yourself on stage tomorrow night.
Chamomilia: [narrating] All of your friends and family watching you from their seats. See how proud they are of you.
Applejack: Hey. I reckon I'm feelin' better.
Chamomilia: See how disappointed they would be if you forgot your lines.
Rest of Mane Six and Big McIntosh: [growl]
Applejack: [whimpers]
[crowd booing]
Applejack: [whimpers] I reckon I spoke too soon.
Chamomilia: I know you worry about tripping on stage in front of everypony.
Rainbow Dash: Uh...
Chamomilia: But that won't happen. Will it?
Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash: [whimper]
Chamomilia: And everypony, open your eyes. See? Isn't that better?
Fluttershy: [whimpers] I think I've got stage fright. And it's all I can think about! It's contagious!
Pinkie Pie: I think I've got it, too!
Rainbow Dash: Now I got it!
Twilight Sparkle: Me, too!
Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash: [whimper]
Chamomilia: [chewing] Mmmm.
[watch beeps]
Chamomilia: That's my time. Afraid I need to go home, watch my stories, and knit. I knit now.
Rarity: [gasps]
Chamomilia: I'll send you an invoice, Rarity.
[door closes]
Rarity: [whimpers, faints]
Pinkie Pie: [worried noise]
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]
Fluttershy: [whimpers]
Rarity: [wails]
Applejack: [sighs]
Rarity: What's gotten into you?
Applejack: That's just the thing. Nothin's gotten into me. Somethin's left me. I lost my stage fright!
Rest of Mane Six: [gasp]
Pinkie Pie: How'd you do that?!
Rarity: Yes, please tell us! I need this bewitching brain spell gone!
Rest of Mane Six: Mm-hmm.
Applejack: It's the funniest doggone thing. Now that everypony's got stage fright, I feel less alone. And that's what bein' in a cast is all about, right?
Rarity: You speak the truth.
Applejack: The only way we get over our joint stage fright is to do our show tomorrow. And I'm golly-gee determined to go on stage tomorrow with all of my best friends!
Fluttershy: Hey, I'm relaxed again.
Pinkie Pie: Hmmm... I am, too.
Rainbow Dash: Explains the smell.
Rarity: You've saved opening night, Applejack!
Applejack: It was your de-stress ball, Rarity. It worked its magic.
Rarity: It really did. Now, actors, picture it. The theater gets dark. The curtain goes up. A spotlight shines on... us!
[crowd cheers]
Applejack: Showtime!

Mad Props

[operatically] Me, me, me, all about me!
Ugh! Darling, you're pitchy! [to reflection] You're pitchy!
Applejack: Let me know when you're done. This high-falutin' updo won't stay up. My character can't have a down-do.
Pinkie Pie: Twilight, your prop list spreadsheet is flawless! It's every single item used in the show organized perfectly!
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks, Pinkie. I really wanted to make sure I got it right so the play can go off without a hitch. I included everything!
Pinkie Pie: Almost everything. Technically, this tablet is a prop.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, scroll down to the very bottom.
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] There it is!
Twilight Sparkle: Everything goes into the spreadsheet, along with apples, a frying pan, a mirror, an old bucket, this calculator, some pizza, a wheelbarrow, an iced tea pitcher, a dozen squishy cube things...
Pinkie Pie: Places! Thank you! Places!
Twilight Sparkle: Oops. Time to go.
Rainbow Dash: You ponies are the greatest to ever grace the stage, and I know about greatness. Pre-show ritual on three! One! Two! Three!
Mane Six: [???] theater!
Pinkie Pie: It's showtime!
[door opens]
Rarity: [sighs] It is cold out there. Dang near freezing.
Fluttershy: [stilted] It is cold in here, too. It has been cold in here for years.
Rarity: You want heat? You want heat?! What do we look like – billionaires?!
[flames roaring]
Fluttershy: Ooh!
Fluttershy: Awww.
[crowd laughing]
Rainbow Dash: Yes!
Twilight Sparkle: Yes!
[ominous music]
[electrical sounds]
[crowd murmuring]
Rainbow Dash: Uh, did we hook up the stage lights wrong?
Twilight Sparkle: Should I go try to fix it?
[electrical sounds]
Rarity: You say you want heat? We can't even keep the lights on around here!
Rarity and Fluttershy: [nervous laugh]
[crowd cheers]
Pinkie Pie: What a pro.
Applejack: Sometimes, I feel like I want to gallop far, far away from all of this. You know, just gettin' out of this here town and havin' a history hoedown.
[crowd laughing]
Applejack: Uhhh... there's... nothin' here for me, anymore.
Applejack: Huh?
Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash: Huh?
Applejack: It's like outgrowin' an old coat.
[crowd laughing]
Applejack: You want to put it on again...
Applejack: ...but it just doesn't...
Applejack: the same way anymore. So...
Applejack: have to keep changin' your clothes! Always movin' forward!
[crowd laughing]
Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash: [nervous laugh]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I'd give all the stars in the solar system – the planets, too – to stay here. But we've got two days to leave.
[crowd gasps]
Audience Pony: [crying]
Fluttershy: [stilted] But... But this is our home. What will become of us?
[crowd laughing]
Fluttershy: [whimpers]
Twilight Sparkle: I didn't do that. Two days, huh?
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy: [gasping]
[crowd laughing]
Fluttershy: [whispers] Pssst. Follow my lead. [stilted] What will become of us? Nowhere to live. Nothing to hold onto.
Twilight Sparkle: It's like... It's like all the things we hold dear in this world are just going away.
[crowd awww's]
[operatically] Whaaaaat a glorious niiiiight
[crowd laughing]
[French music]
Applejack and Rarity: [slurp]
Pinkie Pie: I declare that this orange juice is the best in all the land! Nom-nom-nom. Gulp, gulp.
[crowd murmuring]
Rainbow Dash: [chomps]
Rainbow Dash: Huh?
Rest of Mane Six: [gasp]
Rainbow Dash: Ooh. Huh?
Mane Six: [gasp]
[prop monster roars]
Rainbow Dash: Uh...
[prop monster roars]
Rarity: Don't you see? Our possessions are keeping us down. We need to fight materialism! Hah!
Mane Six: [grunting]
Rarity: Huh?
Mane Six: [panting]
[crowd cheers]
Twilight Sparkle: What in Celestia's green Equestria just happened?!
Pinkie Pie: I know, right? I didn't have "big magical monster thingy" on my prop list, but there it was. In the play.
[crowd cheering]
[ominous music]