Transcripts/The Debut Taunt; Flutterdash

The Debut Taunt; Flutterdash

Transcript
Episode	The Debut Taunt; Flutterdash
Previous	Pie vs. Pie; Superb Six
Next	The Rarity Report; The Great Divide
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[theme song]

The Debut Taunt

[clang]

Rarity: Darlings, applause! Party cannon! Fanfare! Lights! Something amazing has happened!

[thud]

Opalescence: [yowls]

Rarity: You may be asking yourself, "Why is Rarity – usually a pillar of chiller – so uncharacteristically over-the-top?"

Rainbow Dash: Seems like you're acting perfectly normal. [chomps] For you.

Applejack and Pinkie Pie: [chewing]

[Rarity]

For clarity, you're daring me

To tell you all why Rarity

Is having quite a day

You see, I—

Pinkie Pie: Okay, Rarity, we'll bite.

Applejack: [chomps]

Pinkie Pie: [groans] What's so important about today?

Rarity: Glad you asked. I... am going to be a star!

Applejack: [chuckles] Well, you're already a star to us, Rarity.

Rarity: Oh, thanks, darling. But I mean a star to the great pony public! [gasps]

[cameras clicking]

Rarity: I just shot an episode of the number-one hour-long premium cable prestige drama Hoof Session! [laughs] It's about a family of ponies vying for control of an apple farm. And I play Greedenia P. Bitscoin the Third, a powerful land developer.

Fluttershy: Wow, Rarity! That's really cool! How did this happen?

Rarity: I had an audition. And I nailed it!

Rarity: Either I buy the farm, or I simply take it from you! It is your choice. But I will get what's mine! A Bitscoin always collects their debts!

[thud]

Producer Pony: You... nailed it!

Rarity: And then he said to keep my schedule clear. Which doesn't always mean you've got the part. But then I did! I got the part! And I stole every scene!

Applejack: [chuckles] Well, you are one fancy filly.

Rarity: Quite true. To celebrate, I'm having a little soiree over at mine this eve to watch the ep. Please come.

Fluttershy: Wouldn't miss it for the world.

Rarity: Okay, ponies. Time to get ready. Oh! Don't forget to dress to impress, okay? This is a party where you will see and be seen while you see me on the screen!

Rest of Mane Six: [gasp]

Rarity: [laughs, sighs] End scene.

Rest of Mane Six: [laugh]

Rarity: Make it big. But not too big. Oh, why not? Make it too big!

[blow dryer whirs]

Rarity: Too much is always enough.

Rarity: Oh, thank you, thank you. I'm just one small piece of a very large puzzle. I feel so lucky to be part of the Hoof Session family. What? A six-episode arc revolving around my character? Oh, why, I have to say yes. So I will! I'll say yes! YES!

Opalescence: [yowls]

Rarity: I would be nothing without you, my ponies. Well, I would still be my fabulous self. [laughs] But I wouldn't have amazing friends around me to appreciate the fabulosity!

[music]

Mane Six sans Rarity: [chewing]

Applejack: Ooh. I feel like I'm at a movie star's house.

Rarity: No talking! Here it comes! Here it comes!

[door opens]

Boss Pony: Ah, Greedenia P. Bitscoin the Third. We'll never sell! Good day!

Mane Six sans Rarity: [confused, concerned sounds]

Rarity: They... cut my monologue? [wails]

Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Poor Rarity. They chopped her up and cut her out!

Rainbow Dash: Should we do something?

[ding!]

Pinkie Pie: [gasps] I've got an idea!

Rarity: [wailing]

[door opens]

Rarity: Go away! I don't want visitors! I don't want to see or be seen anymore! [wailing]

Pinkie Pie: [country accent] You're tellin' me you want to buy the orchard?

Rarity: [whimpers]

Pinkie Pie: [country accent] I said... you're tellin' me you want to buy the orchard? [whispers] Pssst! It's your line, Greedenia!

Rarity: Hmm? [gasps]

[shimmering]

Rarity: You heard me! I am a major power player, and I'm making a major play for power! I can grow your numbers faster than you can grow apples! And that's a Greedenia P. Bitscoin promise!

Pinkie Pie: [country accent] We'll never sell! Good day!

Rarity: It's a bad day as far as I'm concerned. And I think your twin brother would agree.

Rest of Mane Six: [gasp]

Opalescence: [slurps]

Rarity: This isn't the last you've seen of G.P.B.! You'll be back! They always come back.

Rest of Mane Six: [cheer]

Rarity: [laughs] That was better than I did it on set.

Rest of Mane Six: Awww!

Rarity: Ohhhh, thank you. Friends like you make me feel like a star.

Flutterdash

[brakes hiss]

Rainbow Dash: I can't believe we're actually here at the Sportacular Spectacular!

[whoosh]

Rainbow Dash: I'm signed up for the hundred-meter gallop, buckball, and hoofball, and—

Twilight Sparkle: Maybe we should find our cabin first.

Rarity: Yes, please. I must unpack before my genuine aesthetic audience member attire gets wrinkled.

[vroom]

[crash]

Spike: It's that one right there.

Rainbow Dash: So, according to the schedule, as long as the hundred-meter doesn't run over, I can dash over to tug-of-tail, then finish off the day with some buckball! I won't even have time to sleep!

Rarity: So you won't be needing your bunk?

Rainbow Dash: Nope. I'll be in the arena the whole time takin' names and playin' games!

[poof!]

Rarity: You get the top bunk, my pretties.

Applejack: I heard there's gonna be joustin'. What time is that, Dashie?

Rainbow Dash: Let's see. Apple bobbing, apple shot put, apple tennis... I think I'm still in the "A"'s— [grunts, yells]

[crash!]

Rarity: Darling!

Rest of Mane Six: [gasp]

Spike: Are you okay?

Rainbow Dash: [groans]

Pinkie Pie: Oh, no!

Applejack: Your wing!

Fluttershy: [gasps] Your hoof!

Rainbow Dash: Relax. [strained] I'm fine. It was just a tiny tumble.

[trumpet fanfare]

Fluttershy: [gasps] The opening ceremonies!

Rainbow Dash: [groans] We can't miss that! Come on, everypony! Hurry! [pained groans] Ouch!

[trumpet fanfare]

Bulk Biceps: Welcome, fillies and gentlecolts, to the Sportacular Spectacular!

[fireworks]

Rainbow Dash: [pained groans]

Applejack: Ooh. That hoof looks mighty sore.

Rainbow Dash: It hurts, but I-I'll just wing it.

Rarity: Darling, I think your wing needs a sling.

Fluttershy: Maybe we should just go home?

Pinkie Pie: We could always try again next 'tacular.

Rainbow Dash: No way! [groans] Think of my reputation as the sportiest pony in Equestria! I am unstoppable! [pained groans]

Rainbow Dash: Okay, fine. I might have to sit today out. But I know I'm totally gonna heal up in time for something. Until then, I-I just need to find a... substitute.

Fluttershy: [gulps]

[bottles clattering]

Rainbow Dash: This'll do. It won't give you my mad skills, but if you look like me, you might feel like me, and then you can play like me. 'Til I'm back on my hooves.

Fluttershy: [gulping, yelps]

[whooshing]

Pinkie Pie: Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Twinsies!

[doors open]

Spike: Back from our walk. [yells] Not this dream again!

Rarity: [whimpers]

Rainbow Dash: [scoffs] You look great, "Flutterdash".

Fluttershy: I'm ready to punt that helmet across the starting line!

[ponies grunting]

Rainbow Dash: [whispers]

Spike: Sorry. Sorry.

[ponies grunting]

Spike: Rainbow Dash says, "Don't be nervous. Just run like me. Dash." 'Cause it's a dash.

Fluttershy: What does that even mean?

Spike: I don't know.

Fluttershy: [whimpers]

[starting pistol]

[zooming]

Rainbow Dash: Come on, Flutterdash! Go! Ugh. Did she get my message?

Fluttershy: [whimpers]

Spike: Uh, Rainbow Dash told me to tell you, "Just do what I do."

Fluttershy: What does that even mean?

Spike: Uh, just try moving those hooves this time.

Pony: [growls]

[whistle blows]

[ponies cheer]

Pony: [yells]

Fluttershy: Um...

[zooming]

Rainbow Dash: [groans] What is she doing?!

[whistle blows]

Fluttershy: Aah!

[thud]

[ding!]

Rainbow Dash: This is all wrong! Spike, call it off! Just tell her to do what she wants!

Spike: Play how you want, Dash!

[crowd chattering]

Spike: What? I'm tired of going back and forth.

Rainbow Dash: I can't watch whatever happens next.

Applejack: Hey... look at her go!

Pony: [screams]

Rainbow Dash: She's playing the game like Fluttershy, not like me! And...

[thud]

[whipping]

[rip!]

[ding!]

Rainbow Dash: ...she's amazing.

Twilight Sparkle: It's a lot better than trying to play like somepony else.

Rainbow Dash: Go, Fluttershy, go!

Rest of Mane Six and Spike: [cheer]

Pony: [screams]

[dinging]

Rest of Mane Six and Spike: [cheering]

Pony: [screaming]

[credits]