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Episode The Debut Taunt; Flutterdash
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[theme song]

The Debut Taunt

Rarity: Darlings, applause! Party cannon! Fanfare! Lights! Something amazing has happened!
Opalescence: [yowls]
Rarity: You may be asking yourself, "Why is Rarity – usually a pillar of chiller – so uncharacteristically over-the-top?"
Rainbow Dash: Seems like you're acting perfectly normal. [chomps] For you.
Applejack and Pinkie Pie: [chewing]
For clarity, you're daring me
To tell you all why Rarity
Is having quite a day
You see, I—
Pinkie Pie: Okay, Rarity, we'll bite.
Applejack: [chomps]
Pinkie Pie: [groans] What's so important about today?
Rarity: Glad you asked. I... am going to be a star!
Applejack: [chuckles] Well, you're already a star to us, Rarity.
Rarity: Oh, thanks, darling. But I mean a star to the great pony public! [gasps]
[cameras clicking]
Rarity: I just shot an episode of the number-one hour-long premium cable prestige drama Hoof Session! [laughs] It's about a family of ponies vying for control of an apple farm. And I play Greedenia P. Bitscoin the Third, a powerful land developer.
Fluttershy: Wow, Rarity! That's really cool! How did this happen?
Rarity: I had an audition. And I nailed it!
Rarity: Either I buy the farm, or I simply take it from you! It is your choice. But I will get what's mine! A Bitscoin always collects their debts!
Producer Pony: You... nailed it!
Rarity: And then he said to keep my schedule clear. Which doesn't always mean you've got the part. But then I did! I got the part! And I stole every scene!
Applejack: [chuckles] Well, you are one fancy filly.
Rarity: Quite true. To celebrate, I'm having a little soiree over at mine this eve to watch the ep. Please come.
Fluttershy: Wouldn't miss it for the world.
Rarity: Okay, ponies. Time to get ready. Oh! Don't forget to dress to impress, okay? This is a party where you will see and be seen while you see me on the screen!
Rest of Mane Six: [gasp]
Rarity: [laughs, sighs] End scene.
Rest of Mane Six: [laugh]
Rarity: Make it big. But not too big. Oh, why not? Make it too big!
[blow dryer whirs]
Rarity: Too much is always enough.
Rarity: Oh, thank you, thank you. I'm just one small piece of a very large puzzle. I feel so lucky to be part of the Hoof Session family. What? A six-episode arc revolving around my character? Oh, why, I have to say yes. So I will! I'll say yes! YES!
Opalescence: [yowls]
Rarity: I would be nothing without you, my ponies. Well, I would still be my fabulous self. [laughs] But I wouldn't have amazing friends around me to appreciate the fabulosity!
Mane Six sans Rarity: [chewing]
Applejack: Ooh. I feel like I'm at a movie star's house.
Rarity: No talking! Here it comes! Here it comes!
[door opens]
Boss Pony: Ah, Greedenia P. Bitscoin the Third. We'll never sell! Good day!
Mane Six sans Rarity: [confused, concerned sounds]
Rarity: They... cut my monologue? [wails]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Poor Rarity. They chopped her up and cut her out!
Rainbow Dash: Should we do something?
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] I've got an idea!
Rarity: [wailing]
[door opens]
Rarity: Go away! I don't want visitors! I don't want to see or be seen anymore! [wailing]
Pinkie Pie: [country accent] You're tellin' me you want to buy the orchard?
Rarity: [whimpers]
Pinkie Pie: [country accent] I said... you're tellin' me you want to buy the orchard? [whispers] Pssst! It's your line, Greedenia!
Rarity: Hmm? [gasps]
Rarity: You heard me! I am a major power player, and I'm making a major play for power! I can grow your numbers faster than you can grow apples! And that's a Greedenia P. Bitscoin promise!
Pinkie Pie: [country accent] We'll never sell! Good day!
Rarity: It's a bad day as far as I'm concerned. And I think your twin brother would agree.
Rest of Mane Six: [gasp]
Opalescence: [slurps]
Rarity: This isn't the last you've seen of G.P.B.! You'll be back! They always come back.
Rest of Mane Six: [cheer]
Rarity: [laughs] That was better than I did it on set.
Rest of Mane Six: Awww!
Rarity: Ohhhh, thank you. Friends like you make me feel like a star.


[brakes hiss]
Rainbow Dash: I can't believe we're actually here at the Sportacular Spectacular!
Rainbow Dash: I'm signed up for the hundred-meter gallop, buckball, and hoofball, and—
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe we should find our cabin first.
Rarity: Yes, please. I must unpack before my genuine aesthetic audience member attire gets wrinkled.
Spike: It's that one right there.
Rainbow Dash: So, according to the schedule, as long as the hundred-meter doesn't run over, I can dash over to tug-of-tail, then finish off the day with some buckball! I won't even have time to sleep!
Rarity: So you won't be needing your bunk?
Rainbow Dash: Nope. I'll be in the arena the whole time takin' names and playin' games!
Rarity: You get the top bunk, my pretties.
Applejack: I heard there's gonna be joustin'. What time is that, Dashie?
Rainbow Dash: Let's see. Apple bobbing, apple shot put, apple tennis... I think I'm still in the "A"'s— [grunts, yells]
Rarity: Darling!
Rest of Mane Six: [gasp]
Spike: Are you okay?
Rainbow Dash: [groans]
Pinkie Pie: Oh, no!
Applejack: Your wing!
Fluttershy: [gasps] Your hoof!
Rainbow Dash: Relax. [strained] I'm fine. It was just a tiny tumble.
[trumpet fanfare]
Fluttershy: [gasps] The opening ceremonies!
Rainbow Dash: [groans] We can't miss that! Come on, everypony! Hurry! [pained groans] Ouch!
[trumpet fanfare]
Bulk Biceps: Welcome, fillies and gentlecolts, to the Sportacular Spectacular!
Rainbow Dash: [pained groans]
Applejack: Ooh. That hoof looks mighty sore.
Rainbow Dash: It hurts, but I-I'll just wing it.
Rarity: Darling, I think your wing needs a sling.
Fluttershy: Maybe we should just go home?
Pinkie Pie: We could always try again next 'tacular.
Rainbow Dash: No way! [groans] Think of my reputation as the sportiest pony in Equestria! I am unstoppable! [pained groans]
Rainbow Dash: Okay, fine. I might have to sit today out. But I know I'm totally gonna heal up in time for something. Until then, I-I just need to find a... substitute.
Fluttershy: [gulps]
[bottles clattering]
Rainbow Dash: This'll do. It won't give you my mad skills, but if you look like me, you might feel like me, and then you can play like me. 'Til I'm back on my hooves.
Fluttershy: [gulping, yelps]
Pinkie Pie: Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Twinsies!
[doors open]
Spike: Back from our walk. [yells] Not this dream again!
Rarity: [whimpers]
Rainbow Dash: [scoffs] You look great, "Flutterdash".
Fluttershy: I'm ready to punt that helmet across the starting line!
[ponies grunting]
Rainbow Dash: [whispers]
Spike: Sorry. Sorry.
[ponies grunting]
Spike: Rainbow Dash says, "Don't be nervous. Just run like me. Dash." 'Cause it's a dash.
Fluttershy: What does that even mean?
Spike: I don't know.
Fluttershy: [whimpers]
[starting pistol]
Rainbow Dash: Come on, Flutterdash! Go! Ugh. Did she get my message?
Fluttershy: [whimpers]
Spike: Uh, Rainbow Dash told me to tell you, "Just do what I do."
Fluttershy: What does that even mean?
Spike: Uh, just try moving those hooves this time.
Pony: [growls]
[whistle blows]
[ponies cheer]
Pony: [yells]
Fluttershy: Um...
Rainbow Dash: [groans] What is she doing?!
[whistle blows]
Fluttershy: Aah!
Rainbow Dash: This is all wrong! Spike, call it off! Just tell her to do what she wants!
Spike: Play how you want, Dash!
[crowd chattering]
Spike: What? I'm tired of going back and forth.
Rainbow Dash: I can't watch whatever happens next.
Applejack: Hey... look at her go!
Pony: [screams]
Rainbow Dash: She's playing the game like Fluttershy, not like me! And...
Rainbow Dash: ...she's amazing.
Twilight Sparkle: It's a lot better than trying to play like somepony else.
Rainbow Dash: Go, Fluttershy, go!
Rest of Mane Six and Spike: [cheer]
Pony: [screams]
Rest of Mane Six and Spike: [cheering]
Pony: [screaming]