Transcript | |
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Episode | The Debut Taunt; Flutterdash |
Previous | Pie vs. Pie; Superb Six |
Next | The Rarity Report; The Great Divide |
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The Debut Taunt
- [clang]
- Rarity: Darlings, applause! Party cannon! Fanfare! Lights! Something amazing has happened!
- [thud]
- Opalescence: [yowls]
- Rarity: You may be asking yourself, "Why is Rarity – usually a pillar of chiller – so uncharacteristically over-the-top?"
- Rainbow Dash: Seems like you're acting perfectly normal. [chomps] For you.
- Applejack and Pinkie Pie: [chewing]
- [Rarity]
- For clarity, you're daring me
- To tell you all why Rarity
- Is having quite a day
- You see, I—
- Pinkie Pie: Okay, Rarity, we'll bite.
- Applejack: [chomps]
- Pinkie Pie: [groans] What's so important about today?
- Rarity: Glad you asked. I... am going to be a star!
- Applejack: [chuckles] Well, you're already a star to us, Rarity.
- Rarity: Oh, thanks, darling. But I mean a star to the great pony public! [gasps]
- [cameras clicking]
- Rarity: I just shot an episode of the number-one hour-long premium cable prestige drama Hoof Session! [laughs] It's about a family of ponies vying for control of an apple farm. And I play Greedenia P. Bitscoin the Third, a powerful land developer.
- Fluttershy: Wow, Rarity! That's really cool! How did this happen?
- Rarity: I had an audition. And I nailed it!
- Rarity: Either I buy the farm, or I simply take it from you! It is your choice. But I will get what's mine! A Bitscoin always collects their debts!
- [thud]
- Producer Pony: You... nailed it!
- Rarity: And then he said to keep my schedule clear. Which doesn't always mean you've got the part. But then I did! I got the part! And I stole every scene!
- Applejack: [chuckles] Well, you are one fancy filly.
- Rarity: Quite true. To celebrate, I'm having a little soiree over at mine this eve to watch the ep. Please come.
- Fluttershy: Wouldn't miss it for the world.
- Rarity: Okay, ponies. Time to get ready. Oh! Don't forget to dress to impress, okay? This is a party where you will see and be seen while you see me on the screen!
- Rest of Mane Six: [gasp]
- Rarity: [laughs, sighs] End scene.
- Rest of Mane Six: [laugh]
- Rarity: Make it big. But not too big. Oh, why not? Make it too big!
- [blow dryer whirs]
- Rarity: Too much is always enough.
- Rarity: Oh, thank you, thank you. I'm just one small piece of a very large puzzle. I feel so lucky to be part of the Hoof Session family. What? A six-episode arc revolving around my character? Oh, why, I have to say yes. So I will! I'll say yes! YES!
- Opalescence: [yowls]
- Rarity: I would be nothing without you, my ponies. Well, I would still be my fabulous self. [laughs] But I wouldn't have amazing friends around me to appreciate the fabulosity!
- [music]
- Mane Six sans Rarity: [chewing]
- Applejack: Ooh. I feel like I'm at a movie star's house.
- Rarity: No talking! Here it comes! Here it comes!
- [door opens]
- Boss Pony: Ah, Greedenia P. Bitscoin the Third. We'll never sell! Good day!
- Mane Six sans Rarity: [confused, concerned sounds]
- Rarity: They... cut my monologue? [wails]
- Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Poor Rarity. They chopped her up and cut her out!
- Rainbow Dash: Should we do something?
- [ding!]
- Pinkie Pie: [gasps] I've got an idea!
- Rarity: [wailing]
- [door opens]
- Rarity: Go away! I don't want visitors! I don't want to see or be seen anymore! [wailing]
- Pinkie Pie: [country accent] You're tellin' me you want to buy the orchard?
- Rarity: [whimpers]
- Pinkie Pie: [country accent] I said... you're tellin' me you want to buy the orchard? [whispers] Pssst! It's your line, Greedenia!
- Rarity: Hmm? [gasps]
- [shimmering]
- Rarity: You heard me! I am a major power player, and I'm making a major play for power! I can grow your numbers faster than you can grow apples! And that's a Greedenia P. Bitscoin promise!
- Pinkie Pie: [country accent] We'll never sell! Good day!
- Rarity: It's a bad day as far as I'm concerned. And I think your twin brother would agree.
- Rest of Mane Six: [gasp]
- Opalescence: [slurps]
- Rarity: This isn't the last you've seen of G.P.B.! You'll be back! They always come back.
- Rest of Mane Six: [cheer]
- Rarity: [laughs] That was better than I did it on set.
- Rest of Mane Six: Awww!
- Rarity: Ohhhh, thank you. Friends like you make me feel like a star.
Flutterdash
- [brakes hiss]
- Rainbow Dash: I can't believe we're actually here at the Sportacular Spectacular!
- [whoosh]
- Rainbow Dash: I'm signed up for the hundred-meter gallop, buckball, and hoofball, and—
- Twilight Sparkle: Maybe we should find our cabin first.
- Rarity: Yes, please. I must unpack before my genuine aesthetic audience member attire gets wrinkled.
- [vroom]
- [crash]
- Spike: It's that one right there.
- Rainbow Dash: So, according to the schedule, as long as the hundred-meter doesn't run over, I can dash over to tug-of-tail, then finish off the day with some buckball! I won't even have time to sleep!
- Rarity: So you won't be needing your bunk?
- Rainbow Dash: Nope. I'll be in the arena the whole time takin' names and playin' games!
- [poof!]
- Rarity: You get the top bunk, my pretties.
- Applejack: I heard there's gonna be joustin'. What time is that, Dashie?
- Rainbow Dash: Let's see. Apple bobbing, apple shot put, apple tennis... I think I'm still in the "A"'s— [grunts, yells]
- [crash!]
- Rarity: Darling!
- Rest of Mane Six: [gasp]
- Spike: Are you okay?
- Rainbow Dash: [groans]
- Pinkie Pie: Oh, no!
- Applejack: Your wing!
- Fluttershy: [gasps] Your hoof!
- Rainbow Dash: Relax. [strained] I'm fine. It was just a tiny tumble.
- [trumpet fanfare]
- Fluttershy: [gasps] The opening ceremonies!
- Rainbow Dash: [groans] We can't miss that! Come on, everypony! Hurry! [pained groans] Ouch!
- [trumpet fanfare]
- Bulk Biceps: Welcome, fillies and gentlecolts, to the Sportacular Spectacular!
- [fireworks]
- Rainbow Dash: [pained groans]
- Applejack: Ooh. That hoof looks mighty sore.
- Rainbow Dash: It hurts, but I-I'll just wing it.
- Rarity: Darling, I think your wing needs a sling.
- Fluttershy: Maybe we should just go home?
- Pinkie Pie: We could always try again next 'tacular.
- Rainbow Dash: No way! [groans] Think of my reputation as the sportiest pony in Equestria! I am unstoppable! [pained groans]
- Rainbow Dash: Okay, fine. I might have to sit today out. But I know I'm totally gonna heal up in time for something. Until then, I-I just need to find a... substitute.
- Fluttershy: [gulps]
- [bottles clattering]
- Rainbow Dash: This'll do. It won't give you my mad skills, but if you look like me, you might feel like me, and then you can play like me. 'Til I'm back on my hooves.
- Fluttershy: [gulping, yelps]
- [whooshing]
- Pinkie Pie: Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Twinsies!
- [doors open]
- Spike: Back from our walk. [yells] Not this dream again!
- Rarity: [whimpers]
- Rainbow Dash: [scoffs] You look great, "Flutterdash".
- Fluttershy: I'm ready to punt that helmet across the starting line!
- [ponies grunting]
- Rainbow Dash: [whispers]
- Spike: Sorry. Sorry.
- [ponies grunting]
- Spike: Rainbow Dash says, "Don't be nervous. Just run like me. Dash." 'Cause it's a dash.
- Fluttershy: What does that even mean?
- Spike: I don't know.
- Fluttershy: [whimpers]
- [starting pistol]
- [zooming]
- Rainbow Dash: Come on, Flutterdash! Go! Ugh. Did she get my message?
- Fluttershy: [whimpers]
- Spike: Uh, Rainbow Dash told me to tell you, "Just do what I do."
- Fluttershy: What does that even mean?
- Spike: Uh, just try moving those hooves this time.
- Pony: [growls]
- [whistle blows]
- [ponies cheer]
- Pony: [yells]
- Fluttershy: Um...
- [zooming]
- Rainbow Dash: [groans] What is she doing?!
- [whistle blows]
- Fluttershy: Aah!
- [thud]
- [ding!]
- Rainbow Dash: This is all wrong! Spike, call it off! Just tell her to do what she wants!
- Spike: Play how you want, Dash!
- [crowd chattering]
- Spike: What? I'm tired of going back and forth.
- Rainbow Dash: I can't watch whatever happens next.
- Applejack: Hey... look at her go!
- Pony: [screams]
- Rainbow Dash: She's playing the game like Fluttershy, not like me! And...
- [thud]
- [whipping]
- [rip!]
- [ding!]
- Rainbow Dash: ...she's amazing.
- Twilight Sparkle: It's a lot better than trying to play like somepony else.
- Rainbow Dash: Go, Fluttershy, go!
- Rest of Mane Six and Spike: [cheer]
- Pony: [screams]
- [dinging]
- Rest of Mane Six and Spike: [cheering]
- Pony: [screaming]
- [credits]