Transcripts/The Rarest of Occasions; Portal Combat

The Rarest of Occasions; Portal Combat

Transcript
Episode	The Rarest of Occasions; Portal Combat
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[theme song]

The Rarest of Occasions

[lamps clicking]

Rarity: Hello there, my darlings! This is Rarity, and this, my sweet angels, is Rare Occasions with Rarity! Thank you for subscribing! Welcome to my one-hundredth episode!

[party horn]

Rarity: Oh. Should I say "sweet darlings" and "angels", or should I keep "sweet angels" and "darlings"? [murmurs] I guess I can decide during the real livestream.

[zip!]

[Rarity]

[singing] One hundredth ep, show me some respect

I've got no regrets, bah-bah-bah... bah...

[muttering] Ah. The rest of the words will come later.

[oven whirring]

Pinkie Pie: Old friends and new friends alike, I need to know your true opinions. You three, I can't stress enough how valuable your taste buds are. You are healthy eaters who have not truly tried dessert before coming to Ponyville. Ooh! I should be taking notes!

Echo: [chomps]

[rock music]

[whoosh!]

[flatulence]

Echo: Noooo!

Pinkie Pie, Sugar Snap, and Lightning Chill: [gasp]

[squeak!]

[rattle!]

Echo: Wow!

Pinkie Pie: So? You like it?

Echo: It's, uh... It's a flavor explosion. And explosions scare me. I-I wasn't ready. [chuckles]

[powering down]

Rarity: Sorry to interrupt, darlings, but tonight is the hundredth episode of my livestreaming solo show!

Rest of Mane Six and Wild Siders: [gasp]

Rarity: Tonight, I will be doing my all-me rendition of David Mane-et's classic, Glengrassy Glen Crop. Which of my lovely buddies will assist please?

Applejack, Twilight Sparkle, and Rainbow Dash: Uhhh...

Sugar Snap: I'll do it!

Rarity: [yelps] Where did you come from?

Sugar Snap: The portal. Remember?

Rest of Mane Six: [giggle and "awww"]

Rarity: No, I-I meant—

Sugar Snap: Oh, relax, I'm just goofin'.

Rest of Mane Six: [laugh]

Sugar Snap: I did that play in our dimension. I know it well.

Rarity: Um, I was thinking more a buddy I know.

Rest of Mane Six: [gasp]

Applejack: Rarity! She knows the play, and she's funny as all get-out.

Pinkie Pie: Plus, it would be like a student taking a masterclass from a pony at the top of her game!

Sugar Snap: What she said.

Rarity: Well, let's not waste another minute, Sugar Snap. I'd love to see you at the taping.

[zip!]

Rarity: Pinkie, you can provide refreshments if you so please. I would love for your cakes to complement my performance.

Pinkie Pie: Okay, and minus a cup, plus a tablespoon... [gasps] I can't believe I'm saying this. But do these need... less chocolate?!

[rumble!]

[squirt!]

[crash!]

Mane Six and Wild Siders: [gasp]

Echo: Perhaps just a little less?

Rarity: Soooo... you are a comedienne?

Sugar Snap: Oh, yeah! I had my own network TV show – Coleslaw & Order. I played a short-order cook who was long on laughs. It was based on my comedy routine.

Rarity: Well, that sounds divine. Uh, I'm going to do a run-through. Would you adjust that light so I look simply radiant?

Sugar Snap: Will do!

[zip!]

[clunking]

Rarity: Acting! I've been coming to this diner every day, you know? [deeper voice] What'll it be, Marge? [normal voice] Give me... uh... oh.

Sugar Snap: [affecting voice] Yeah, gimme the usual. Anything I can douse with hot sauce until it's unrecognizable.

Rarity: Why, yes, thank you, darling. Now where was I? Ah, yes. Give me—

Sugar Snap: You know, Rarity, I can jump in there and run it with you. Just for rehearsal.

Rarity: Well, I am usually more of a—

Sugar Snap: I'm not trying to step on your hooves. I just know I get most of my best work dunzo when I'm doing it with friends. Even new friends.

Rarity: Well then, from the top!

Sugar Snap: From the top!

Rarity and Sugar Snap: From the top!

Pinkie Pie: Okay, pals, I experimented all day looking for a great flavor that was less, um...

Echo: Too too much much?

Pinkie Pie: Uh, okay, okay. I've come up with a less overpowering cake. Presenting an olive oil cupcake with a salted peanut butter frosting!

Lightning Chill: [chomps] Ooooh! You nailed it!

Echo: [chomps] Delicious! Delicious!

Rest of Mane Six: [chomp, cheer]

Lightning Chill: It's almost like...

[powering down]

[clank!]

Rarity: Hello, my dear fans and friends. I am Rarity, and thank you for coming to my one-hundredth livestream.

[crowd cheers]

Rarity: Tonight, I will be performing some top-notch drama. But I won't be flying solo.

Rest of Mane Six and Wild Siders: [gasp]

Rarity: No! Instead, I would like to invite my good friend and rehearsal partner and the star of Coleslaw & Order, Sugar Snap!

Rest of Mane Six and Wild Siders: [cheer]

Sugar Snap: Me?

[clank!]

Sugar Snap: I'm so excited to join you!

Rest of Mane Six and Wild Siders: Awwww!

Rarity: I realize I could probably do it without you, but not if I wanted to be the best. And I do. Let's wow them, scene partner!

Rarity and Sugar Snap: Acting!

Rest of Mane Six and Wild Siders: [cheer]

Portal Combat

[dance music]

Rainbow Dash: [grunting]

[whooshing]

[wind rushing]

Rainbow Dash: Yeah!

[thud]

Twilight Sparkle: Great! Now try the Reverse Trapeze!

Rainbow Dash: [grunting]

[whooshing]

Rainbow Dash: Yeah! Thanks for helping me practice my moves, Twilight. I am gonna be a breakdancing star!

Twilight Sparkle: Let's do one more. The Dash Master!

Rainbow Dash: I've never done the Dash Master before.

Twilight Sparkle: It has "Dash" in it. It's like it was made for you. You got this!

[whooshing]

Rainbow Dash: Whoaaaa!

[splat!]

[squeak!]

Rainbow Dash: [grunting]

[pinball sounds]

[vortex swirling]

Rainbow Dash: [groans, yells] Whoa. That was a close...

[vortex swirling]

Rainbow Dash: ...caaaaall!

Twilight Sparkle: [grunting]

Applejack: [panting]

Pinkie Pie: Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no! What's going on?!

Twilight Sparkle: The portal's pulling Rainbow Dash! Quick! Help a pony out!

Applejack: [gasps]

Pinkie Pie: [gasps]

Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie: [grunting]

Applejack: It's like she's stuck!

Rainbow Dash: Uh, it seems like I'm getting sucked all the way in and the portal is closing up!

Echo: Those of us from the Wild Side will be trapped here forever!

Applejack: [grunts]

Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Echo: [yelp]

Rainbow Dash: [yelling]

Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Echo: [gasp]

Echo: Do any of you know a science pony clever enough to save Rainbow Dash and solve this problem?

[beat]

Twilight Sparkle: Do I have something in my teeth?

Rainbow Dash: [grunting]

[squeaking]

Twilight Sparkle: Ah! Let's do this!

[hammering and wrenching]

[ding!]

Twilight Sparkle: Ooh! [chomps] Mmm! It's done!

Twilight Sparkle: The P.D.R. 9000!

Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Echo: Ooooh!

Rainbow Dash: [deeper] The portal's changing my voice!

Twilight Sparkle: [whimpering]

Rainbow Dash: [deeper] How looooow can it gooooo?

Twilight Sparkle: [whimpering]

[electrical sounds]

Rainbow Dash: [laughs] Oh.

[fizzling]

Pinkie Pie: No!

Rainbow Dash: [yelling]

Pinkie Pie: That's okay! It was a first attempt!

Twilight Sparkle: We don't have time for a first attempt! Time is of the essence!

Echo: It's looking like the portal will be closed forever! That'll be sad!

Rainbow Dash: [even deeper] Uh, yeah! That would not be ideal!

[squeaking]

[knock on door]

Twilight Sparkle: [whimpering]

Applejack: [grunts]

Applejack and Pinkie Pie: [gasp]

Pinkie Pie: We brought something to relieve the stress.

Twilight Sparkle: Do I seem stressed?!

[rumble!]

[shatter!]

Pinkie Pie: When I'm stressed, I bake.

Applejack: And I stroll through the orchard.

Twilight Sparkle: Huh?

Pinkie Pie: So we combined the two. Apple pie!

Twilight Sparkle: [chomps] Mmm! Delicious!

[thud]

Twilight Sparkle: But I'm still stressed!

Pinkie Pie: Oooookay. Our de-stress tactics didn't work, but clearly something is stressing you out. And I think it's more than just getting the machine to work. What is it, Twi? We want to help.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh, it's all my fault! If I didn't push Rainbow Dash to do the Dash Master, then this would never have happened! Now the Wild Siders and Rainbow Dash will both be out of luck!

Applejack: You're not bein' fair. You and Dash were playin' together. Don't let guilt get in the way of craftin' a solution.

Twilight Sparkle: [chomps, gulps] Ohhhh, I get it! Applejack and Pinkie Pie! Apple pie! You combined the two!

[zip!]

Twilight Sparkle: That's it! I know how to fix... well, everything! Let's go!

[zip!]

[vortex swirling]

Rainbow Dash: [even deeper] Have you come to say "seeeee yaaaaa laaaaateeeeer"?

Twilight Sparkle: I've come to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry I got you, Echo, and everypony into this mess.

Rainbow Dash: [even deeper] It was neeeeeveeeeer yooooour faaaaault. Weeeee're iiiiin thiiiiis togeeeeetheeeeer.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I know. My equation wasn't working because I was only thinking of the Equestria side of the portal. But we need to think of both sides. We have to combine them! Don't you get it?

Pinkie Pie: Not really.

Applejack: Uh, what now?

[clunk!]

[electrical sounds]

[whoosh]

Rainbow Dash: [grunts, sighs]

Twilight Sparkle: [squeals]

Echo: Does this mean "goodbye, portal"?

Twilight Sparkle: Nope!

[crank]

[clunk!]

[vortex swirling]

[whoosh]

[pulsing sound]

Twilight Sparkle: I fused the portal with the door! Now it's a doorway between our two dimensions!

Pinkie Pie: It's like the apple pie! You combined them!

Echo: You saved the day, Twilight! We can be friends forever!

Rainbow Dash: Ooh, ooh! Dance party to celebrate! Who wants to see me do the Dash Master?

Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Echo: Nooooo!

[credits]