Transcript
Episode The Trail Less Trotten; Death of a Sales-Pony
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[theme song]

The Trail Less Trotten

[indistinct chatter]
Pinkie Pie: [whistling]
[splat]
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] It's heeeere! [squeals] Our official Trail Trotters troop designation!
Rainbow Dash: Fluttershy's gonna be so stoked that we're all finally a troop! Officially recognized by the Ponies Earning Badges Organization, L.L.C.
Twilight Sparkle: Careful. Precious cargo.
Rarity: Flutter dear will be absolutely delighted. She's been certainly mentioning this for decades. An eternity! A long time!
Pinkie Pie: Oooh! I can't believe it! Today's the day I finally take over Sugarcube Corner from Mr. and Mrs. Cake!
[drums and cymbals]
[door opens]
Fluttershy: I can't believe there's only two hundred and ninety-five days until Trail Trotters registration opens! And then I simply earn more badges than any other troop in our region, thereby winning the grand prize of an all-expenses-paid trip to meet celebrity dolphin Finn Tastic! I'll just be a pony standing in front of a dolphin, telling him he's my hero!
Pinkie Pie: Uh, what does that have to do with—?
Fluttershy: My. Hero. HERO!
[zip!]
[door opens]
Rarity: Darlings! Did you all get Fluttershy's text?
Rainbow Dash: I came as fast as I could.
Applejack: It must be some kind of emergency.
Fluttershy: Thank you for coming. Only two hundred and ninety-four days until we're the best Trail Trotters troop in the world and we get to meet Finn Tastic and become best friends and probably go on vacation together and have inside jokes! [giggles]
Applejack: Yeah, I... can't tell if she's excited.
Fluttershy: I'm so excited! Wheeee!
[thunder]
Twilight Sparkle: With the Elements of Harmony working in unison, there's no problem too great! No foe too irredeemable! No evil that can't be outdone!
Fluttershy: And only one day until we get our Trail Trotters troop assignment!
[roaring]
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, yeah. And also, no time until we have to conquer evil.
Fluttershy: Oh. Right, right, right. TRAIL TROTTERS!
Applejack: Uh, openin' somepony else's mail is a felony.
Pinkie Pie: Uh-huh.
Applejack: But Fluttershy won't mind. All right, everypony. Our request to become an official troop is... denied!
Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, and Rarity: [cheer, gasp]
Applejack: Wait. Denied?!
Twilight Sparkle: Apparently, there's an age cutoff. You have to be a filly to join.
Rarity: We're too old? Why, one is never too old to have fun. [sips]
Twilight Sparkle: Technically, according to Trail Trotters bylaw six-A-dash-three-five-seven, we are.
Rainbow Dash: Uh-oh. How are we gonna tell—?
[rumble]
[boom!]
Fluttershy: It's TRAIL TROTTERS DAY!
Applejack: Uh, Fluttershy? [hyperventilates, chomps] We got ourselves a Trotters Troop!
Fluttershy: Ooh!
Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, and Rarity: [gasp]
Pinkie Pie: No, we— [grunts] Huh? Oh! Uh, yeah! [laughs] Toot-toot! All aboard for badge city! Here we come! Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga!
Fluttershy: Badges for crafting! Badges for rafting! Badges for... -ing! Something that rhymes!
Twilight Sparkle: What are you doing?! Cough up that letter and tell her the truth—! [grunts]
Fluttershy: [giggling]
Twilight Sparkle: Ohhhh, I get it. We're covering to protect her beautiful, fragile, and very important feelings. Let's get this Trail Trotter her first, completely real badge!
Fluttershy: All that's standing between me and Finn Tastic's briny breath is a few badges. So, which one are we earning first?
Pinkie Pie: The...
[zip!]
Pinkie Pie: ...Great Question Badge! The Great Mane Badge!
Rarity: [forced] What... an honor.
Pinkie Pie: [laughs] Someone just earned the Quick Reflexes Badge! The, uh... Apple Badge!
Applejack: Original.
Pinkie Pie: [panting]
Fluttershy: This means everything to me!
Pinkie Pie: And one for yours truly! [grunts]
Rainbow Dash: Uh, Pinkie? Earning badges as a troop is super fun, but shouldn't we tell her it's not real?
Fluttershy: [hums, giggles] Who's the best badge in the world? It's you.
Rainbow Dash: Uh... a little longer can't hurt.
Fluttershy: Ooh, Pinkie! What's that badge for? I haven't seen it in the official Trail Trotters training manual.
Pinkie Pie: Oh, this? It's, um... It's a Badge-Making Badge! Yeah! They just recently added it.
[suspenseful music]
Fluttershy: Cool!
Pinkie Pie: Phew!
[gurgling]
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash: [gasp]
Gummy: [gags]
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash: [scream]

Death of a Sales-Pony

Pinkie Pie: [humming]
[zip!]
Fluttershy: It's cookie time!
Pinkie Pie: Oh! Finally, after years of begging, you've converted to P.S.T. Pinkie Standard Time!
Fluttershy: Well, it's cookie selling time.
Pinkie Pie: Huh?
Fluttershy: Only the top-selling troops qualify to win a meet-and... [imitating dolphin chirp] gree-ee-ee-ee-ee-eet! ...with celebrity dolphin Finn Tastic.
[dolphin chirp]
Pinkie Pie: [laughs nervously] Right. That is what these cookies are for. Selling. And... not eating. [gulps]
Applejack: Howdy, y'all.
Pinkie Pie: It's cookie selling time!
[indistinct chatter]
Twilight Sparkle: We got this!
[zip!]
Rainbow Dash: Teamwork in action! Noice!
Pinkie Pie: [laughs] This is so fun!
Applejack: And it's always gonna be that way!
[crunch]
[bits jingling]
Fluttershy: Always... be... selling!
[cha-ching!]
Pinkie Pie: [humming]
Fluttershy: Divide and conquer!
Pinkie Pie: [laughs nervously]
Fluttershy: We've got a water-dwelling bottlenosed celeb to meet! Specifically, the star of "Roger the Singing Dolphin" – he played Roger – and "Hamlet" – he played Hamlet.
Applejack: Thanks! Tell your friends!
Fluttershy: Pick up the pace, Applejack! Supply and demand! Get rid of your supply so ponies demand more!
Applejack: Oooookaaaaay.
[clicking]
Twilight Sparkle: Just created an algorithm targeting anypony who has so much as thought about cookies today. They're practically selling themselves!
Fluttershy: Great! Then you're freed up to sell even more!
[thud]
Twilight Sparkle: [gulps]
[cameras clicking]
Rarity: Cookies are the latest trend, darling.
Derek: Food is fashion? Insane. Love it.
Rarity: They're fierce! Fun! Flashy! And—!
[thud]
Fluttershy: [chomps, spits] Oatmeal raisin?! Ugh! This'll never do!
[zooming]
Rainbow Dash: Hey, Fluttershy.
Fluttershy: You really think there's time to chat?! Go break your delivery personal best!
Rainbow Dash: [groans]
Pinkie Pie: [panting] Phew!
Fluttershy: Pinkie, we got to ramp up production. These cookies are selling faster than—
Pinkie Pie: —than I can make them!
[boom!]
Fluttershy: Well, you got to figure it out! These ponies need their cookies!
Pinkie Pie: [nervous laugh]
Fluttershy: And I need my visit with the world's greatest water mammal...
[boom!]
Fluttershy: ...Finn Tastic!
Pinkie Pie: [screams] What am I gonna do?!
Spike: Hey, Pinkie! What kind of snacks you got in here?
Pinkie Pie: Uh... you're gonna have to earn your snacks today!
[zip!]
Fluttershy: I've done it! Instant delivery...
Rainbow Dash: [panting]
Fluttershy: ...great prices...
Applejack: [gasps]
Fluttershy: ...customized orders...
Twilight Sparkle: [whimpering]
Fluttershy: ...and fashion spin-off brand!
Rarity: No, no, no!
[crash!]
Rarity: [groans]
Fluttershy: Finn Tastic... I'll see you soon!
Applejack: [groans] Fluttershy? We need a word.
Fluttershy: What is it? Time is cookies, and cookies is everything!
Twilight Sparkle: That's just it! Cookies aren't everything!
Pinkie Pie: W-Well... they are delicious and sweet.
Rainbow Dash: What we're trying to say is selling cookies just isn't fun like this.
Rarity: And I'm a complete mess about it!
Applejack: The troop's supposed to be an enjoyable way for us to all hang out.
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, not a tunnel-vision goal to meet this "Phantasmic".
Fluttershy: [groans] IT'S FINN TASTIC!
Rest of Mane Six: Aah!
Fluttershy: [gasps]
Rest of Mane Six: [groan]
Fluttershy: Oh. I see what happened. I made the cherry on top the bottom line, and that's no way to run a dessert business. Or a friendship.
Pinkie Pie: Awwww.
Rarity: I'm still miffed. But that is cute.
Fluttershy: I'm sorry. When you're at the helm of a cookie empire, everything seems like crumbs in comparison.
Pinkie Pie: I love crumbs!
Pinkie Pie: [narrating] One time, I followed a trail of them into...
Pinkie Pie: You know what? It's a long story, and Fluttershy's having an epiphany, but I miss my brother.
Fluttershy: How about this? From now on, cookies are for fun and fun only.
Rest of Mane Six: Awwww!
Spike: Get those pans in the oven, Gummy! Are the snickerdoodles ready for delivery yet?!
[zip!]
Fluttershy: Spike, you three go ahead and... Oh, um... keep making cookies. Just keep at it. You're doing great.
[cha-ching!]
[credits]
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