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Episode The Washouts
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[bang, bang, bang]
Scootaloo: Order, order, everypony! I hereby call to order this meeting of the Rainbow Dash Fan Club!
[fans murmuring excitedly]
Scootaloo: First order of business – [quickly] Let's-celebrate-the-one-and-only-Rainbow-Dash-yay-she's-amazing-now-if-there's-nothing-else-that-concludes-this-meeting-of-the-Rainbow-Dash-Fan-Club-thank-you-all-for-coming-any-questions?!
[confused murmuring]
Rainbow Dash: Huh?
Scootaloo: Meeting adjourned!
[door slams]
[bang, bang]
Scootaloo: I'd like to call to order the first ever meeting of the newest and most exciting club – of which I am the president, founding, and only member – the Washouts Fan Club!
Rainbow Dash: [gasps]
[theme song]
[door opens]
Rainbow Dash: Oh, hey, Scootaloo. I was just in the neighbor— Oh! What's this? Did I interrupt your fan club meeting?
Scootaloo: Hey! What are you doin' here?
Rainbow Dash: I could ask you the same question!
Scootaloo: Oh, uh, y'know... mmm... s-s-stuff. Uh, definitely not starting a new fan club or anything.
Rainbow Dash: Ha! It's no use pretending! I heard everything when I was outside eavesdropping, like I do for every meeting!
Scootaloo: You eavesdrop on every meeting? That's weird.
Rainbow Dash: Well, sure it sounds weird when you say it out loud. And I probably shouldn't because eavesdropping is wrong, but still. Why are you starting a new fan club?
Scootaloo: I just think maybe it's time for me to explore other fan clubs.
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] What is a "The Washouts"?
Scootaloo: Only the newest, and greatest, and only stunt troupe in Equestria!
Rainbow Dash: Stunt troupe?
Scootaloo: How can I explain it? Like the Wonderbolts, just twenty bajillion percent cooler! [squee]
Rainbow Dash: "Twenty bajillion"?!
Scootaloo: They do all sorts of extreme stunts that focus on daredevilry and sheer guts rather than boring old flight and formation junk.
Rainbow Dash: "Boring old flight and formation junk"?!
Scootaloo: Are you just repeating everything I say?
Rainbow Dash: Only because my brain feels like it's strapped to one of those rockets about to explode.
Scootaloo: So you do get it! Aren't they awesome?!
Rainbow Dash: Can you believe she actually said that?!
Pinkie Pie: Pfft, well, yeah! Eavesdropping on every meeting is kinda weird.
Rainbow Dash: I mean, she basically said that the Wonderbolts aren't cool! And... And it kinda sounded like she didn't think I was cool either. But, peh, we all know that's crazy! I mean, I'm definitely not worried about her looking up to somepony else. Heh. Nope. Not! At! All!
Applejack: Well, I'd understand if you were. It'd be like if Apple Bloom started lovin' bananas more than apples. [laughs, sotto voce] Y'all tell me if that ever happens, ya hear?
Rainbow Dash: But what could the Washouts possibly have that I don't?!
Pinkie Pie: Why don't you find out?
Rainbow Dash: They're doing a show in Ponyville this weekend?!
Twilight Sparkle: Wow! They do look pretty amazing... uh, -ly unamazing. [nervous laugh] Trying so hard to look amazing is what I mean.
Pinkie Pie: Nice save, Twilight! [squee]
[crowd chattering]
Scootaloo: Awww. I knew we shoulda lined up last night.
Pinkie Pie: I'm sorry for making us late. Who would've guessed Xtreme Chocolate Airshow Cupcakes would take an x-tremely long time to bake? [slurps, chomps]
Rainbow Dash: Look at this! It's a total Wonderbolts ripoff!
Scootaloo: What do you mean? The show hasn't even started yet.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, but look at what we're sitting on.
[bang, bang]
Rainbow Dash: Hello?! The Wonderbolts have bleachers, too! We practically invented sitting on bleachers!
Rarity: Ugh!
Rainbow Dash: And look at that! Popcorn and cotton candy?! Ripoff!
Scootaloo: Huh? Yeeeeeeeaaaahhh!
Announcer: This is the time! This is the place! This is the team! This is... the Washouts!
[crowd cheers]
Pinkie Pie: Mmmm! Quality confetti cannon work.
Rainbow Dash: [sighs]
Scootaloo: Oh, yeah!
Announcer: Say it with me now, the Washouts' official motto...
Announcer and Crowd: Leap before you look!
[crowd cheers]
Scootaloo: Woo-hoo!
Rainbow Dash: Lame.
Fanpony: Oh!
Announcer: Remember, ponies. While they're amazingly awesome, the Washouts are highly trained professionals in protective fire-proof flight suits! Do NOT try this at home!
Rainbow Dash: Whoa. Come on, come on! She's not gonna make it!
[crowd gasps]
[crowd cheers]
Rainbow Dash: That... was... insane! Woo-hoo!
Scootaloo: I told you!
Rainbow Dash: I mean... [clears throat] It was pretty cool. Who are these guys?
Scootaloo: I can't just go up and talk to them.
Rainbow Dash: You can if you're with me. After all, one of the reasons there's a Rainbow Dash fan club is because I'm fearless. Observe.
[water splashing]
Rainbow Dash: Hey!
Rainbow Dash: Uh, so as a fellow aerobatic professional, I really enjoyed your show. Heh. Actually, you might recognize me since I'm a... pause for dramatic effect... a Wonderbolt.
Short Fuse and Rolling Thunder: [laugh]
Rolling Thunder: [Australian accent] Ha! Join the club.
Scootaloo: [excited noises]
Rainbow Dash: O... kay...
Rolling Thunder: No. I mean, literally. Join the club. We're called "The Washouts" because we all used to be Wonderbolts just like you. Heh. Until we "washed out".
Rainbow Dash: No way!
Rolling Thunder: Yep. [sighs] Name's Rolling Thunder. I got booted out of Wonderbolt Academy because of "flagrant disregard for hazardous weather". Pfft! If doing barrel rolls through nine hundred million volts of electricity in a raging thunderstorm is wrong, then I don't wanna be right.
Rainbow Dash: Cool!
Rolling Thunder: Ha. This 'ere's Short Fuse.
Short Fuse: Ah, nice to meet you.
Rainbow Dash: What's your story?
Rainbow Dash: Uhhh... Okay. So, who's the leader?
Rolling Thunder: Only the most reckless ex-Wonderbolt of all time.
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] Lightning Dust!
Lightning Dust: Rainbow Dash!
Rainbow Dash: [snarls]
Scootaloo: Scootaloo. I'm Scootaloo. Hi.
Rainbow Dash: Lightning Dust! I should've known you were the brains behind a crazy idea like the Washouts! Or should I say, "lack of brains"!
Lightning Dust: [snarls]
Scootaloo: You two really know each other? Oh, my gosh! This is so cool!
Lightning Dust: Your "friend" got me kicked out of the Wonderbolts.
Scootaloo: Oh. That's, uh, less cool.
Lightning Dust: And it was the best thing that ever happened to me! Great to see you, wingpony! I heard you're a full-fledged Bolt now.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, well, I'm still—
Lightning Dust: Mad at me? Look, was it wrong of me to endanger the lives of your friends? Yeah. But, hey, now I only endanger these knuckleheads.
Rolling Thunder and Short Fuse: [laugh]
Short Fuse: [through gritted teeth] Don't call me "Knucklehead"! [laughs]
Lightning Dust: C'mon, you know you miss me. Me and her, we blew everypony out of the sky.
Scootaloo: Really?
Lightning Dust: Actually, yeah, really! All that wind was totally dangerous, but we had fun, right? Two fastest times on the Dizzitron!
Rainbow Dash: If I remember correctly, I had you beat by half a second.
Lightning Dust: Only because when I went, I cranked up the dizziness factor.
Rainbow Dash and Lightning Dust: [laugh]
Rainbow Dash: Well, I'm glad it all worked out. Your show was pretty dynamite.
Lightning Dust: [to Scootaloo] Wanna know the secret? We basically ignore everything the Wonderbolts ever taught us about safety.
Rainbow Dash: Well, we do have safety rules for a reason.
Lightning Dust: Don't listen to her, kid. All their "rules" were just ways of keeping their little club exclusive so they could feel good about themselves.
Rainbow Dash: It's not about making anypony feel bad. It's about finding the best flyers. The best of the best.
Lightning Dust: I started the Washouts because I believe anypony can be the best of the best. You know, Rolling Thunder is gonna be out for a while.
Rolling Thunder: Ah, during the finale, I caught the old hind leg in the Crushinator Jaws of Smashalot! Patent pending.
Lightning Dust: There's a spot on the team if you wanna join up.
Scootaloo: [gasps]
Rainbow Dash: I appreciate the offer, but I'm already a Wonderbolt.
Scootaloo: I'll do it! Can I do it?!
Rainbow Dash: Uh, lemme think. No!
Scootaloo: [scoffs] I wasn't asking you!
Lightning Dust: Awww, you're cute. But technically, you haven't washed out of the Bolts, which is kinda our thing.
Rainbow Dash: And also, no!
Scootaloo: Oh, what if I joined and dropped out super quick?!
Rainbow Dash: That's it! You're comin' with me!
Scootaloo: Where are we going?
Rainbow Dash: To hear what the actual Wonderbolts think about you joining just to drop out for the Washouts!
Lightning Dust: Say hi to Spitfire for me!
[Wonderbolts theme]
Scootaloo: [yawns]
Rainbow Dash: Ever seen two simultaneous inverse displacement rolls before?
Scootaloo: [scoffs] Would've been a lot cooler if you had the Crushinator Jaws of Smashalot, patent pending.
Rainbow Dash: You... What?! [to Spitfire] See? This is what I was telling you about.
Spitfire: I got this. [to Scootaloo] You know what happens when something goes wrong with the Crushinator Jaws of Smashalot?
Rainbow Dash: Patent pending?
Spitfire: You end up in a full body wing-and-hoof cast drinkin' through a straw!
Scootaloo: But with enough practice—
Spitfire: Practice?! Well, la-dee-doodle-dah! Lemme give you a different scenario. You're probably saying to yourself, "I'm young. I'm strong. I'm gonna go out there and stunt some tricks with my new friend Lightning Dust!" Well, I'm here to tell ya that if ya play that game, you're gonna find out it's pretty hard to "stunt tricks" in a full body wing-and-hoof cast drinkin' through a straw!
Rainbow Dash: I think she gets the poi—
Spitfire: I'm not finished! Listen, I get it, kid. I used to be like you, tellin' myself, "I'm gonna touch the sky!"
Scootaloo: I don't—
Spitfire: Well, whoop-dee-doodle-doo! You think you got it made in the shade? Well, things are gonna be pretty shady indeed when you can't go out in the sun, 'cause you're in a full body wing-and-hoof cast drinkin' through a straw! Do I make myself clear?!
Scootaloo: [shakily] Uh-huh...
Spitfire: Excellent. Have a hat.
Rainbow Dash: Uh... Heh. Sorry that was a little... intense. I just wanna make sure you don't get hurt. That way, you can follow in my hoofsteps. Heh. Everypony's dream, right?
Scootaloo: More like "follow your wingflaps".
Rainbow Dash: Same difference.
Scootaloo: [sarcastically] Thanks, super-talented flyer, for clearing up what I should do.
Rainbow Dash: Clearing things up is one of my specialties. Now, come on. Let's go rip up all your Washout posters into tiny pieces and throw 'em off a cliff.
Rainbow Dash: I just thought of a great way to raise awareness for your original fan club. You know, the one about me?
Rainbow Dash: How about a silent auction where every item is just a picture of yours truly? [laughs] Nah! I'm just kidding.
[blow dryer blowing]
Rainbow Dash: That makes me seem too egotistical, doesn't it? Oh, oh! Maybe if they're framed, it's like, "Wow, she's so humble!" Ya think? Scootaloo?
[door opens]
Rainbow Dash: Uh, Scootaloo?
Rainbow Dash: Anypony seen Scootalo—
Rainbow Dash: Ow! My fault, my fault! Sorry, I— Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: [groans] Sorry. I was just... um...
Rainbow Dash: Please tell me you got that stuff so you could rip it up and throw it off a cliff.
Twilight Sparkle: They were doing an autograph session before practice.
Rainbow Dash: Seriously?! [groans] You haven't seen Scoot, have you?
Twilight Sparkle: Actually...
Rainbow Dash: I can't believe Scootaloo ditched me to watch them practice! Why can't she see how dangerous they are?!
Twilight Sparkle: That's kind of the whole draw. It's exciting.
Rainbow Dash: But it's like the harder I try to convince Scoot they're dangerous, the more she likes them!
Twilight Sparkle: You can't control her actions. Only yours. Teach her what's safe and what isn't, like a good role model. Then hope she makes the right decisions.
Rainbow Dash: But what if she chooses them over me? She's gonna get hurt!
Twilight Sparkle: I think I know somepony else who might get hurt if that happens.
Rainbow Dash: Um, maybe you're right. But this isn't about me. I'm just worried about Scoot.
Short Fuse: Wow. You're really workin' hard on this new stunt. [chomps, spits] What kind of sorry excuse for a tomato sandwich is this?!
Lightning Dust: Sorry, Dash. Autograph session's over. Unless you wanna buy Short Fuse's limited edition half-eaten tomato sandwich.
Short Fuse: I'm not signing that abomination!
Rainbow Dash: You haven't seen Scootaloo, have you?
Lightning Dust: Ohhhh, isn't she that pony that used to respect you?
Rainbow Dash: [growls] I'd appreciate you helping me find her so I could apologize for trying to make her quit liking you.
Lightning Dust: [laughs] Oh, I'm pretty sure she still likes us.
Rainbow Dash: [gasps]
Rainbow Dash: Lightning Dust, I know we go way back, but I can't let her do this!
Scootaloo: I don't need you standing up for me!
Rainbow Dash: Obviously, you do! Because you can't see how dangerous this is! Do you not remember what Spitfire said?
Lightning Dust: Ugh. Lemme guess. [imitating Spitfire] You'll be in a full-body wing-and-hoof cast drinkin' through a straw!
Rainbow Dash: That doesn't even sound like Spitfire.
Scootaloo: [laughing]
Rainbow Dash: That's it! We're leaving!
Scootaloo: Just because I look up to you doesn't mean I have to be you! But based on your definition of what makes somepony great, I have bad news. I'll never be the best of the best or a Wonderbolt! Because I! Can't! Fly! Is that what you wanted to hear? But not being able to fly doesn't mean I can't do something awesome! Like strapping my scooter to a multi-stage liquid-fueled rocket and jumping twenty-two wagons lined up in front of a roaring crowd!
Twilight Sparkle: That was awfully specific.
Lightning Dust: That's 'cause it's what she'll be doing in the show tonight. Half off for princesses! [whispering] Bring your friends!
Twilight Sparkle: Scootaloo, are you sure that's what you really wanna do?
Scootaloo: Absolutely. [to Rainbow] And there's nothing you can do to stop me!
Rainbow Dash: You're right. You're your own foal, and you have to make your own decisions.
Scootaloo: Good! Because I already have!
Rainbow Dash: [sighs]
[crowd chattering]
Pinkie Pie: Sorry for making us late again. Who would've guessed Scootaloo's super-difficult stunt special cupcakes would've been super-difficult to bake? [chomps]
Applejack: Hoo-wee! Looks like all of Ponyville is here. Except for Rainbow Dash.
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]
Announcer: And here to introduce the most dangerous stunt we've ever performed, it's your fearless captain, L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-Lightning Dust!
[crowd cheers]
Lightning Dust: In just a moment, the newest member of the Washouts will be rocket-sledding down that hill, up that ramp, and over all twenty-two wagons to land on the other side in one piece! Heh. If she's lucky.
[crowd gasps]
Lightning Dust: Put your hooves together for Half-Pint Dynamite!
[crowd cheers]
Scootaloo: Lightning Dust, I have to tell you. I actually started Equestria's first Washouts fan club! As far as I know. So this is a real honor, ma'am! Uh, do I call you "ma'am"?
Lightning Dust: You land this jump, you can call me whatever you want.
Scootaloo: Wow. That sure is...
Lightning Dust: Dangerous? Nah! Well, maybe a little.
Scootaloo: Has anypony tested it before?
Lightning Dust: Where's the fun in that?
Scootaloo: [gulps]
[tape stretching]
Scootaloo: There's m-more?!
Lightning Dust: You're not thinking of backing out, are you?
Scootaloo: No! I'm just thinking about drinking through straws.
Lightning Dust: Are you the president of my fan club or not?
Scootaloo: Of course! It's just—
Lightning Dust: You wouldn't wanna get impeached for dishonoring my wishes, would you?
Scootaloo: I... Is that a thing?
Lightning Dust: Light it up!
[flames roaring]
Scootaloo: Okay. Now I am thinking about backing out.
Lightning Dust: Too late!
[rockets roaring]
[crowd cheering]
Scootaloo: [whimpering]
[crowd gasps]
Rainbow Dash: I know I was supposed to let you make your own decisions, but that doesn't mean I can't swoop in and save you from time to time.
Lightning Dust: If I'd known you were gonna bail, I would've done the trick myself!
Rainbow Dash: Great! So you won't mind how that rope's about to coil around your hoof.
Rainbow Dash: Wouldn't have it any other way!
Scootaloo: I'm sorry for joining the Washouts. Lightning Dust wasn't who I thought she was. She didn't care about me being scared or putting me in danger. She only wanted a good show, even if it meant I got hurt. That's not the kind of pony I wanna look up to.
Rainbow Dash: I'm the one who should be apologizing for not acting like somepony who deserves a fan club. I've been lucky enough to have somepony who thinks I'm the coolest. But there's nothing cool about making you feel like you'll never be as awesome as me. I think we should cancel the Washouts Fan Club. Because I know a fan club that could use some new members.
Scootaloo: The Rainbow Dash Fan Club!
[bang, bang, bang]
Rainbow Dash: [clears throat] Welcome to the first ever meeting of the newest fan club for the awesomest, previously under-appreciated pony in Ponyville! With founding member and president Rainbow Dash presiding, it's the... Scootaloo Fan Club!
[fans cheering]
Scootaloo: You know, Rainbow Dash was right. Eavesdropping on your own fan club isn't weird at all.